Sam's Blurty
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Sam's Blurty:

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    Saturday, January 29th, 2005
    11:13 am
    OK so I failed to come back and update before-- but heres some more of the life of sam.

    My phone has actually been shut off and just recently been turned on.
    Why you ask?
    Because jared failed to pay his portion of the bill for several months- and I finally had too big of a carry over to be able to pay it off- thus, the phones were shut off for a bit. Got my raise at work.....used the first paycheck to pay off the bill- and by the time I cancelled Jareds phone line, and knocked myself down to a more reasonable plan- Verizon owes ME money.
    How awesome is that??
    Nice surprise, eh??

    Things with Jerry are moving along nicely. Its not amazing- I mean, it is amazing that we dont hate eachother...Its amazing that I have trouble with the two of us on a queen sized bed...and I can NOT figure out how J and I slept on a twin for all that time...

    Jerry and I went to Amoeba music-- I am sorry- this place, is the GOD of new and used music. I got three new operas and two new rock CDS...all for less than 100 dollars.

    What else you say?
    I've auditioned for Los Angeles Opera (which, I completely bombed. MY voice was GREAT, it was steady and strong and well put together-- it was quite obvious that I know my shit, but I blanked on about four bars on the first page. shit. ....theres always next year....)
    I figure- at least I now know what I am walking into.

    What else is happening?
    Im an assistant manager (I think you all know that...but just in case)...basically managing the store...when they open glendale....I am considering interviewing for the position of store manager.....because Karika is NOT doing her job- I am doing it, and shes getting all of the glory for it- HOWEVER, in terms of the high achiever award taht we got for November, guess who is getting the 1,000 dollar bonus?! WOOT! Am I excited?! YES. I cant wait to get THAT in my savings account.

    I have been thinking hard on the school issue with me.
    I really should finish a degree.
    I kind of want to start from scratch. I wouldnt even care if I did have to start from scratch...and with the job I've got now, its entirely possible for me to put the $$ away to go back to school for several years, and get some $$ away so that I dont need to keep a full time job (unless I find a church gig)- and go back not immideately, but in a few years. Which is good- it buys me time to decide if I really just want a music degree, or a buisness degree also.
    I like buisness. I like managing, Im damnd good at it- and its really satisfying. I go home feeling like I've done something.

    It also consumes all of my mind- meaning that I need to go get some St Johns Wort or something, cuz it makes me unable to sleep a lot. But other than that- its all good.

    Valentines day is coming up...I need to think of something sweet and romantic for Jerry. God only knows what. I am so focused on work- its been hard to divert my attentions to something like that.
    However, I think I am going to take myself shopping today. I am going to go see what I have in the bank, and as long as its over 300 dollars- I am going to go on a mini shopping spree. YAY! (and I have to get a gift for my district manager, for her birthday)
    I have tons more I could be talking about right now- but Im not particularly in the mood- so I am going to get a move on- I need to decide exactly WHAT I am going to accomplish today, and make the list and DO IT.

    (I got a chem peel last night- and my face is actually peelling today!! AWESOME!!!)

    Anyway world-
    I will catch up with you later....
    as always, call me if ya need me...

    Saturday, January 8th, 2005
    1:10 pm
    How long has it been since I have updated?
    Seems like YEARS.

    Life has been very busy-- I dont even rememebr where I left off on here.
    It seems like as soon as I started with NUVO, life got VERY busy, very fast.
    Or perhaps its because I started with NUVO, and with Jerry.....and really, thats most of the time a girl has these days.

    Whats been going on?

    Work. work work work work work work.
    I managed to pull a promotion in 90 days from NUVO. I am now the assistant manager of the sherman Oaks Fashion Square Mall Nuvo International laster skin center.
    *WOOT!! WOOT!!*

    Now- the good things?
    THis job completely and totally utilizes my abilities to read people, form strong bonds and loyalty between myself and employees. It lets me use my administrative skills...of which I have a lot- and am very proud of.
    IT requires super organization- another strong point I feel I have.
    The downside- suddenly- on top of all of this other crazy shit- they want us to be selling huge amounts of packages every single day.
    Now two approaches can be taken- I should personally be held responsible for those goals for the store- YES- as manager, I choose to take on that responsibility. However- shouldI be the only one working to get to that goal?
    IT seems to me if you are a manager worth half your salt,the REASON you are a manager and not just a sales associate is because you know how to create loyalty, and trust, and you know how to get your people to work for YOU. AKA- EVERYONE contributes to the goal. Not just me.
    Its crappy use of resources on the staff if I am the only person selling things. VERY crappy.
    So- I am having a bit of an internal issue with that whole notion.
    for now- its not too much of a problem- but I am realizing that I need to get my numbers as high as I can just simply because it looks really damnd bad if they arent up- and they dont care how happy the staff is- or if the staff as a whole is healthier and more regularly meets the store goal than any other store.
    (this company is young- and stupid, I think.)

    At any rate-
    ITs paying me good money. So for now- it will have to work. For once- I will be able to put $ away- get a little bit of savings behind me- and get life back on the 'right' track so to speak.

    I have been spending much time contemplating my wishes to be a singer- versus the fact that I really like to do a little bit of everything. ITs odd really- I get bored with the singing....I move on to where I am now-- I begin to get bored with this- I move back to something else....I head back to singing.
    The truth is I think- I like to be able to do EVERYTHING. I like to be a good domestic type person....I want to be a great wife at some point...I want to be a great costume designer....I want to be able to perform with the best of them....I want to be a great manager and a pretty decent sales person....I want to be someone that many people love and trust and want to be near....really...what it comes down to, is that I want to be EVERYTHING. And I want to be pretty good at all of it.
    Perhaps what I need to do is just find a sugar daddy...a really old guy- marry him, have some fun....he'll die, leave me lots of cash so that I can afford to go on all these various adventures and learn to do all of this shit....and just have a good ol' time.
    Too bad I am too much of a romantic to just marry some old beggar for money. Too bad I am too in love wth Jerry to ever leave him for some right old bastard.
    Well- maybe I'll luck out- and Jerry will become a famous director, I'll be working my ass off- and he'll just decide to sweep me off my feet and marry me- and tell me to go persue singing and not worry about having a steady income behind me.

    -hey- its always worth dreaming, right?

    Eh. I would probably prefer to just work my ass off in the end anyway.

    OP! Im cold- and I need to get some lunch- so I will come back and continue to update in a few hours.

    ......................I wonder if anyone ever reads this anymore????
    If ya' do.....lemme know? would 'ya?
    Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
    6:34 pm
    1. Sam is one of the most beautiful and talented people on the face of the earth. Seriously. She has one of the brightest futures of anyone I know. Not only that, but she can sew, cook, and be domestic-y too! Honestly, she embodies many of the qualities I wish I had myself.

    2. "Batti Batti O Bel Masetto"

    3. Liv Tyler, but prettier. incidentally, she CAN sing.

    4. Ability.

    This is from Rachel.
    I love rachel

    I will tell the world what the fuck I've been up to as soon as I can actually get myself motivated and get enough done around here to be ABLE to take the time to type it all.
    life is good.
    Except that J still has not sent me phone bill money
    and has alltogether stopped calling me and did not reply to the message I sent him.
    I dont want to be mean- but I think I need to take the signs,
    he cant afford this plan, and I should kick him off because I cant afford to keep both of us on it.
    gag me.
    Saturday, December 11th, 2004
    5:13 pm
    in continuance (is that a word?) from the previous entry.....

    I didnt quite say fuckin....and he probably brought it up before I did.

    I wonder if I should just boot his ass off the plan anyway?

    Who knows.
    5:08 pm
    Today is my birthday.
    Its 5:08 PM.....I am at work- and I am not supposed to be doing personal work on the computer- however, I cant leave the desk. The four other people that are here working have up and disappeared...and I am stuck. This sucks.

    I am 23 today.
    I feel like I have accomplished nothing in my life.
    I need to do something with myself.

    I talked to jared last night. He wants his class ring back- and thats understandable. I am pretty fuckin hurt that he didnt fucking remember that its my birthday. Especially with all the shit he gave me about wishing him a happy birthday a couple bizillion times this past august.....which I went above and beyond- but whatever.
    I guess I should have known better. The truth of the matter is unless it relates to him directly- really, he doesnt care. My birthday no longer relates to him directly, so why does he need to care.
    I told him that he needed to send me the fuckin phone bill money.
    1:41 am
    Its my birthday
    I am 23
    I think I should be drunk....or hungover or something....
    what I have is a great boyfriend here--- and a warm cozy bed awaiting my company.

    I SHOULD post something interesting...
    but things have been busy.
    Ah well. Christmas in retail- what can I say?

    I promise to give you all a long and amusing update ASAP...
    by you all-
    I mean,
    Thursday, November 25th, 2004
    2:44 pm
    You are 36% geek
    You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.
    Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend.

    You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines!

    Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals!

    You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

    Take the Polygeek Quiz at

    Friday, November 19th, 2004
    7:47 am
    Lets see here.

    Its currently 7:38 AM.
    Yesterday, Jerry and I went out to freeking Palmdale to find a wal-mart supercenter. (which- yeah ok, all you liberal people that hate wal-mart, go shoot me. The fact is- I cant afford to be running all over hells halfacre buying all this shit for thanksgiving- and shopping there when you have that kind of a list, quite NEARLY cuts the bill in half. and no- I am NOT kidding.)
    Went out to palmdale, cuz there was supposed to be a super-center there.....we're thinking, ya know, the huge one with the grocery store inside, and like, EVERYTHING ELSE.
    It h ad three aisles of groceries.
    Even worse- there was a Sams club- but I didnt have my sams card- so I couldnt get in there- nevermind buy anything. *grrrr
    At any rate- It was a fun trip. We drove around palmdale...looked at shit....and drove home.
    OH YEAH~
    I got the cinderblocks for my table in the kitchen!! This is going to be SUCH a cool fuckin table. I am excited about it anyway. I'll put pictures up when I get a chance.
    WE also went ice skating last night- which I also thought was fun-- though I had cramps like CRAZY....which totally SUCKED. But thats ok.
    Ya know whats cool?
    Heather came with us- and really, I feel NO threat when shes around....I mean- I never really felt much of a threat when any of jareds chick friends were around.....but there was alyways a little something there isnt anything. I mean- no worries. Its weird.
    Perfect bredding ground for disaster??
    But somehow- I think VERY unlikely. At any rate- I need to get a move on for the morning-- still gotta run some little errands- AND- I need to get workin on that table...
    AND my duvet cover!!

    I love it when life starts to come together a little bit.

    Goodbye world- talk to you later.
    Sunday, November 14th, 2004
    7:36 pm
    Its sunday.
    I am groping along trying to type with one fucked up thumb,
    What happened you say?

    Well. Emmanuel never does the dishes....I can only assume because he doesnt want I was doing them for the millionth time yesterday, when one of his beloved crate and barrell glasses exploded around my hand, and sliced a good half to three quarters of an inch into my hand, cutting the three sides of a square....but leaving the fourth attached to my hand.
    Blood everywhere- I dripped it all over and have completely ruined two of my dish towels- which are now SOAKED in blood stains.
    So- since my hand was REALLY hot when I cut it- it was bleeding pretty bad....but then it slowed down...
    but then Iaccidently bumped it- which made me feel like I was going to pass out rigt there...and it started bleeding again. I decided there was no use in sittin around doing nothing.
    I rollerbladed 10.5 miles up to Rob-May. Jerry and I had planned on watching a movie and cooking dinner. Of course- by the time I got to Rob May....bleeding stopped...kinda.
    Then we got to Jerrys...and he pulled out some neosporin and a bandage for me (cuz all I had were cut up kitchen towels) so then I start to take the bandages off- and it seems ok- until I find that the flap of skin is stuck to the bandage- and I accidentally rip off the clotting thats allready its not only hurting-- my blood pressure immideately goes up- and it starts to bleed MORE (it was totally gross too- you could SEE the vein that it was pumping out of. EW.
    So-- here I was figuring it would be ok- because Jerry is MR. I write and direct horror films....yyyeah, he even got grossed out and had to look away after about ten seconds.
    It was all ok though- I wasnt crying until after we went to the grocery and got all the way back here...and it was still bleeding like towels were soaked in it...and it was just plain disgusting....
    so thats about when I got upset, paranoid, and cried.
    Jerry gets MAJOR good guy points. Not only did he cook a fantastic dinner- he made cookies- and they are EXCELLENT- AND- it was like...great.
    But the best part- was that when I started crying- he washed his hands off and came over and gave me a big hug from behind. he didnt try to make the tears go away really...he just gave me a hug and told me it would probably be OK....and then he asked me if I wanted to go to the ER.
    to which I said no. because I have no health fucking insurance. And all was ok....except that I kept bleeding straight through till about seven thirty or so.
    Ive now got it all bandaged up-- am scared to death to even TRY to take them off- simply because if the scab attached itself to the bandage- i dont want to make it bleed more again- I cant handle more blood coming out of my own body. ew.
    So maybe later.
    The gross thing?
    I have no feeling in the top left side of my thumb.
    Its all completely numb.
    I dont particularly like that. oh well.
    At any rate--- that was the exciting event yesterday...
    before that?
    WEnt to see Incredibles- it was GREAT.
    stopped into rob may- and it was GREAT to see terms of the fact that I no longer work there- so they were happy- I was happy- everyone was happy.
    We have a new assistant manager- Inessa. Shes armenian. I really likeher. And shes allready recognized that Karika NEEDS to learn to do her own job- not everyone elses'.
    So it looks like even though my right hand is fucked up-
    life is moving forward in a positive direction.

    ....and I love that practicing in front of Jerry doesnt bother me. Its awesome.
    Speaking of....Im going to go sing for a bit
    ...then go to an "actor" party with the man of the hour. I nervous? Yes.....Im sure it will be ok though.
    laters taters
    7:14 pm
    A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

    >Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with
    >water to prepare his
    >morning coffee. The water is clean and good because
    >some tree-hugging
    >liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.
    >With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily
    >medication. His
    >medications are safe to take because some stupid
    >commie liberal fought to
    >ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.
    >All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his
    >employer's medical plan
    >because some liberal union workers fought their
    >employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.
    >He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs.
    >Joe's bacon is safe to
    >eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to
    >regulate the meat
    >packing industry.
    >In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo.
    >His bottle is properly
    >labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the
    >total contents because
    >some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what
    >he was putting on his
    >body and how much it contained.
    >Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath.
    >The air he breathes is
    >clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal
    >fought for the laws to
    >stop industries from polluting our air.
    >He walks to the subway station for his
    >government-subsidized ride to work.
    >It saves him considerable money in parking and
    >transportation fees because
    >some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public
    >transportation, which
    >gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
    >Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with
    >excellent pay, medical
    >benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation
    >because some lazy liberal
    >union members fought and died for these working
    >standards. Joe's employer
    >pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't
    >want his employees to
    >call the union.
    >If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll
    >get a worker
    >compensation or unemployment check because some stupid
    >liberal didn't think
    >he should lose his home because of his temporary
    >It's noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so
    >he can pay some bills.
    >Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC
    >because some godless
    >liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from
    >unscrupulous bankers who ruined
    >the banking system before the Great Depression.
    >Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage
    >and his below-market
    >federal student loan because some elitist liberal
    >decided that Joe and the
    >government would be better off if he was educated and
    >earned more money over
    >his lifetime.
    >Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father
    >this evening at his
    >farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the
    >drive. His car is among
    >the safest in the world because some America-hating
    >liberal fought for car
    >safety standards.
    >He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third
    >generation to live in the
    >house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because
    >bankers didn't want
    >to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity
    >until some
    >big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't
    >belong and demanded
    >rural electrification.
    >He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His
    >father lives on
    >Social Security and a union pension because some
    >cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of
    >himself so Joe
    >wouldn't have to.
    >Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns
    >on a radio talk show.
    >The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
    >conservatives are
    >good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans
    >have fought against
    >every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his
    >Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government
    >liberals ruining our lives!
    >After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone
    >should take care of
    >themselves, just like I have."
    Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
    8:55 am
    I dont remember when I last left a journal entry- so it may be slightly difficult to update perse....
    lets see here.
    WEll, yesterday I opened by myself. Kristy (a sales consultant), and Vivian (one of our Esteticians) opened with me- and we had a theraputic group bitching session about our manager, Karika.
    I am glad that I am not the only one that feels like this chick is clueless when it comes to management skills. So- that made me happy. It was also nice to experience my co-workers without Karika around. These people are GREAT. The Dr. (Emery) she is...AWESOME. Total tom boy. hilarious.
    I cant believe I was so lucky to run into working with such a great crowd-- too bad karika needs to get some serious learning done in the management department.
    We got our office supplies- which I think is AWESOME!!
    It finally is looking like a buisness back there!!

    I think my co workers are a fantastic group- we are very dynamic.
    Karika- is a control freak. It sucks.

    Im other news-
    Jerry and I went hiking yesterday-- that was AWESOME. We climbed to the top of a rock- that was pretty damn cool. And then- we went down to this tunnel that the train runs through-- it was AWESOME. We sat on top of the tunnel- and this train came through- it was strangely terrifying...but AWESOME. So fuckin cool. I definitely want to go back there and wait around and watch that a few more times.

    Made a few dinners....hung out with Jerry.....found out how awesome my co-workers are without the manager around. Life fucking rocks right now- Its amazing what a move to a different coast can do for a girl. ;)
    At any rate- I am being accosted with kisses- gotta go!
    Goodbye World.
    Saturday, November 6th, 2004
    9:06 pm
    I am having an odd day today.
    I am moody- but not.

    Its kind of like this-
    I was fine when I woke up.
    Walking to work was ok...
    work itself was pretty OK
    Talking to J...was ok. Frustrating- but really- I guess thats just the way its going to be for a while just because we're both moving on and things are changing and what not.

    All I wanted to do today was sing.
    And I got moody right about when I realized that I wasnt going to get myself home with enough time left to sing for more than an hour or so.
    Which SUCKS....cuz all I have been craving all day long (other than a hunk of chocolate cake), has been to sing. I need to compile a repertory list....and start working on my holes....I also need to find a choir or SOMEPLACE to sing. ....theres got to be something somewhere....someplace where I can do some solo work and some group work.
    It would be nice anyway.
    I am feeling the void of good musics in my life right now- for some reason, it hit me really really hard today that what I am partially missing- is all that rich classical and romantic chromaticism and all of the great knowlege I used to have of opera in general and recognition of arias and the like.
    I am realizing how much I have forgotten- and am now paranoid as to how much more I might forget.
    I need to get back on top of this.
    I need to get this music back in my life...
    I wish I had all of the resources that I own....but so much is still in NY.
    I will have to make due with what I've got.

    Jerry is supposed to be having a bunch of people over to play games tonite...and I should be a good dooby and call him back and go- but I dont know if I am in the mood to be with other people tonite.
    Perhaps I just need to be alone and catch up with myself.
    I need to go to church tomorrow morning..... seems like so much just slipped away from me and I need to get it back.............
    8:40 am
    Life is getting busier by the day.
    I am happy- though this next seven days is going to be EXTREMELY difficult. thinks its time to start looking for some auditions.......

    Anyone want to split the cost of a backstage west with me?
    Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
    9:35 pm
    Just thought I would mention in here- that while I bitch about Jared when things arent quite right-and I have a habit of not reporting back when things are resolved-
    He is not an asshole.
    and he works hard to defend me.
    And I tend to be very un-reasonable in here.
    So thats that.

    In other news- I need to figure out whats for dinner.
    Later folks.
    9:22 am
    Jerry is a god.
    I am exceptionally intelligent.
    life is so fuckin good.

    ..........Except that bush won.
    Which kills me.

    Im moving to Europe-
    anyone with me??
    Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
    8:30 pm
    I am depressed...I just looked at the electoral votes....
    georgie porgie is winning. By a lot.
    Hes got 22 states.....Kerry's only got 12.
    Lets hope to shit California and most of this coast comes through for Kerry.
    Even call at least??

    Lets the life of sam.

    I guess one could say that I am dating Jerry.
    I think i like this fact....I like Jerry. I wont lie- it gives me more than a few butterflies to consider that I am now technically in a relationship...but, I really like Jerry. And the reason I think its ok with this guy- is that I dont feel as though I am owned by someone. Its more like I have a partner in crime, Which is cool. I still feel like I can go do whatever I need to do- and I am not going to be expected to be elsewhere- or expected to be answering the phone. I still have a life....It just also means I have someone 'special' in it.
    Its kind of cool.
    I feel the coldness from Jared over it. I am almost afraid to really go into it at all because I dont want to step over the edge of that cliff. (of course- once I DO step over it, I'll probably find out al it was, was a tiny crack) And really...Jared was suddenly talking about this girl and that girl when I talked to him last night.

    enough of that.

    My job. I like it. I think I am really good at the receptionist work- when that is what I am actually doing
    and I like it. I think it incorporates a lot of my strongest talents....organization, personality, clarity, clear and easily understood speaking voice- al lof which I have working for me. Its awesome- and I LOVE it when corporate calls the store, and is so struck by my phone answering voice that they forget what they were calling about and want to know who I am and what my position is and they just go on and on about what a lovely answer that was....DUDE- it feels great.
    Almost as good as compliments on my singing,
    I was just wandering the TCO page....ya know....they are finally changing things...doesnt it figure- they change when I leave.
    what is it with me and that little habit.....everyone changes their habits when I get the fuck out....they are doing better musicals out there...better public relations..really...the truth of the matter is, the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side- right?
    I still dont feel as though I have made a single bad decision since coming out here.
    I feel safe and sound in ALL of them.
    I am feeling the need for a petite bath...I am craving a soak in some warm water.
    Perhaps I'll come back and write later.
    I am restless...something is bugging me, but I cant put my finger on what.
    8:49 am
    Lets see now.
    Yesterday was Halloween.
    Life is good.
    I am busy with work, Jerry...Gery.......well, ok, previously refered to as Jerry. ( I was officially corrected last night...but really...I like gery better. anyway...)
    work, Jerry...It was a cool day.
    Tons of kids at the mall in costume- and tons of adults too- which I thought was awesome.
    Emmanuel stopped into Nuvo to say hello, all the ladies just loved him to death. Then Jerry also stopped in- which was great. I am sure I acted like an face got bright red...and my initial reaction was to run around the counter and give him a hug hello- but I was cutting coupons- and it was REALLY busy-- and they needed those I just kept cutting. I am sure I gave the poor guy the impression that I was mad when he stopped in...I wasnt- I just, had to get my stuff done.
    at any rate-- phone is ringing, its Jerry....I am going to crawl off to bed and get some sleep tonite...I have some major errands to run, banking....and then getting all the way down to work.
    laters taters! Its now Tuesday morning 8:50 AM.......forgot to post this one last night....wellp-
    all I have to say is-
    Monday, November 1st, 2004
    11:04 pm
    I am exceptionally intelligent...did you know that?
    Sunday, October 31st, 2004
    2:14 am
    What a day today.
    I made an entire dress for my costume for halloween. and I managed to find the pattern, buy the material (and it was all SALE material!! 4.99/yd, and 1.99/yd), get the gloves, makeup and PUT THE WHOLE THING TOGETHER!!
    ....and had Lynn picked up emmanuel as originally planned- I w ould have even been ready to go on time. :)
    Anyway...for those of you that dont know, I decided to be a black and white movie black in makeup.....any of my skin that was showing....was in grey dress, grandads hat, and loooooong black gloves....I think it worked out really well-- no one guessed what I was...but when I told them- they thought it was GREAT. ....which I thought was pretty cool.
    Anyway....I feel fairly bad that I made Gery wait when he and Dion (sp?) his room mate got here....but I needed help getting the makup on my back....we went to a party at a friend of Gerys...and it was fun. Fun people....good time. I liked it, and I liked them.
    The 'actor' crowd out here is very different....I dnot know exactly how to express the difference....but there is a marked one. Once I know the vocabulary to be able to articulate what the difference is...I will put it right down in here so y'all can know.
    At any was a fun night- and ya know what else??
    Gery actually walked me up to my apartment...which I thought was REALLY sweet...and ya know....its always nice to have a good kiss goodnight.
    I am happy that this person is aware enough of me that he doesnt have his arms around me and try to hold onto me and snuggle up next to me and kiss me and love me to death in public.
    Its awesome. I feel like my own woman...with a great friend along for the ride. Its cool. I like it.
    In more depressing news.....
    Jared hasnt called me back.
    at all.
    I left him a message the other night...and this is the first time EVER that he just isnt even returning my calls.
    He must be mad....I dunno...I feel like thats a little un-reasonable when hed been kissing someone else not much over two months after we'd first broken up....and I know that he KNOWS I like Gery...hes been all worked up the last three or four conversations we've had.
    and I feel bad. I want to fix it...but I cant.
    Its the oddest thing...I still love J more than anything in this world. I love him more than chocolate and the best sex ever combined......but at the same time...I really like Gery...theres something very special there...and Im attracted to it....
    I dunno...I dont want to write about all of this right now.
    I have to get to extra hour of sleep tonite- but I've allready off and gone and wasted it...and I still have to get up early for work tomorrow...
    goodnight world-
    Friday, October 29th, 2004
    9:52 pm
    Wow did I have fun last night.
    Gery called me as I was walking home from work...and informed me that we couldnt go ice skating....because the rink did the free skate on tuesday...not thursday. I was slightly annoyed...because I left work a whole three hours cancellation wasnt cool- but I was very pleasantly surprised when he offered to come out anyway and we could figure something out...
    which was nice....cuz thats just what we did...he got here as I was practicing...did a serch for skating rinks...ended up going to pasadena and skating. It was GREAT!...well...for me. Poor Gery got the shit of it...he fell down twice. (poor guy hadnt been on skates in years)...I am however impressed that he kept with was a fun we wandered around pasedena....went to a secondhand CD place...and found THE POINT!!!
    I was so excited a) because it still exsists, AND was on DVD, but also, b) Gery not only pointed it out to me- he watched it when he was a kid too!!
    So...after we grabbed a bite to eat, we went back to my place and watched THE POINT...which was great- I forgot how silly it was..but still such a great story....and SO many jokes that you just dont get when you are a kid....but are hilarious when you are an was great...and then even better...we stayed up all friggen night talking...and I am not 6:30 AM....we were talking...STILL.
    And it was great.
    What a cool guy.
    What a great time.
    Fantastic really. :) considerably more solemn news....I believe Tsana has left Los Angeles...without even saying goodbye...I called her and left her a message earlier this week...and she never called me back...or sent me another IM. I am kind of hurt.....but I guess thats life.
    ....In more news...hmmm...
    more news.
    I am pretty friggen content. And its cool.
    I will type more when I am in the mood...right now....I am going to take a bit of a break....
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