ethereal's Journal
20 most recent posts

Date:2008-02-17 18:51
Mood: happy

Im going to delete this journal i think.
I dont need you anymore, dear blurty.
Im happy.
Happier than I have ever been in my life.
No more abusive relationship.
No more self harm.
I have accepted who I truly am (im not telling. those who need to know; do)
and now i am the most blessed and lucky person alive.
So thank you, dear blurty, for the people you brought into my life, the freedom you let mke have, and the feelings you helped to convey.
I am whole now.
so farewell.

(1 have | forsaken me)

Date:2007-07-02 19:52
Subject:so long...
Mood: melancholy

i cant believe how long its been since i wrote in here. i miss my blurty.
i dont feel like updating life at the moment. even thinking about it all is making me tired.
i just wanted to post something.
so here it is.
a fragile sign of life...

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-12-13 22:35
Mood: anxious
Music:the late news.

i have a headache.
and i wish you hadn't done that to me tonight; then just gone to bed.
thats not fair. and not nice.
why wont you just take your meds???
why dont things just ever go in my favour? perhaps just once?

(1 have | forsaken me)

Date:2005-11-17 09:52
Mood: busy
Music:ben lee- "close ive come"

but i loved (love) you more than any of them
and ever

the universe is brought back from
the brink of destruction
every time you smile.

but i can see things clearer
its all smoke and mirrors

you broke my fucking heart
but i still want you

i dont want to fight. life's too short.

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-11-01 10:26
Subject:little shit
Mood: frustrated

little fucking shit
i wish he'd stop taking his anger out on the family
im sick of him making my mum cry
and its not helpful for trying to study either.
oh why does life have to be so fucking unfair!!!????!?

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-10-31 13:15
Mood: stressed

due to the utter volume, there will be only one sentence per significant event.
give or take a few.

~Daisy. wshat more needs to be said abotu our beautiful new edition to the family? i know, how bout 'the whole house is her toilet'? or "3 am playtime" (and 4, and 5 and 6am playtime...)

~Newcastle. and the joke was on us. after 12 hours of driving, mum was a further 12 hours north.

~my job. they pay me&its quite enjoyable.

~us. we need to get back on track, but i still love you.

~end of year and exam stress sucks balls!

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-10-07 21:29
Mood: nauseated

ive been meaning to write sooner blurty
but ive been apprehensive...
ive become so private lately, theres not much i share anymore.
burnt too many times i suppose.
last night was fun. even if we did end up as sick as dogs today.
i have never ever been hung over like that!
a slab of been between us! and the wine!
im glad we've left the bad behind us.
im so happy.*touches wood*

(2 have | forsaken me)

Date:2005-10-03 04:16
Mood: working
Music:night noises that keep making me jump

note the time im writing this.
im trying to finish my already overdue essay.
my back is hurting, my bum is numb, my legs are aching.
my brain gave up and went to bed hours ago leaving me and my slightly painful fake nails to fend for ourself.
the puppy just came out to visit. then lucky her, went back to bed with elle.
but worst of all, theres floaties in my coffee.

(2 have | forsaken me)

Date:2005-09-13 09:10
Mood: amused

i was just thinking i was in a suprisinly good mood considering my lack of sleep.
and with it a strange confidence that im not used to.
then of course i start to worry cause something has to go wrong now. whenever i start to feel happy or even sliiightly care free, bam! something bad to make things normal again.

this from a friend made my day.

Ethics Test ( I bet I know how the citizens along the Gulf coast would answer this one)

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving
an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. No one else will know, so you wont be fooling anyone but yourself if you give anything but a truthful answer.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you
will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please read slowly and thoughtfully, giving due consideration to each

Here's the situation:

You are in Florida; Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you
caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical
proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his
life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer...
somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realise who it is.

It's George W. Bush, President of the United States!!

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him
under... forever. You have two options - you can save the life of
G.W.Bush, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo,
documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.

So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:

Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the
classic simplicity of black and white?

(1 have | forsaken me)

Date:2005-09-10 12:37
Mood: recumbent

my over active procrastination gene is starting to shit me.
i wonder if it can be corrected? lol
im glad you like my pumpkin lasagne. i can cook damnit! lol
last night was nice. i felt kinda normal.
i wish you had come =(

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-09-01 08:03
Mood: sad

lack of sleep, pmt, medication withdrawals (throw in some weight issues, money probs and uni stress) and a little bit of homesickness all equal
one very, very teary me.

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-08-26 08:46
Mood: working

i dont know who you are(other than an arsehole), but i want my brother back.
lunch with my grandparents always amusing.
"let's get drunk"
i had to laugh
early morning and she sang the good morning america song.
my poor mama. her ankle is so swollen.
tea and yoghurt thats happy to see you.
i know she appreciates it, but its the least i can do.
and you being nasty on the phone. ah well. your choice.
poor europe; floods and fire.
i feel domestic. if he forgot the sandwiches i made, i wont be impressed.
a sooky dog i should take for a walk
but its almost 9am and im ready to go back to bed.
the assignment can wait.

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-08-21 17:50
Mood: recumbent
Music:the simpsons on tv

it was good to see a friendly face. (particularly after the shit i copped from you)
and even better to talk on an adult level with someone who has been an important role in my life since i was a baby,
we exchanged expertise with wine tasting and japanese cuisine,
my first real miso soup since i got back; yum!!
it was refreshing to discuss sexuality, disabilities, family and life with someone who i know cares, but has enough objective view to bring a new way of thinking.
but the strangest part of the night was awkward. but good at the same time.
it was something id never heard said before; something good about the man who has brought so much misery.
"you were his pride and joy;the light of his life. you could just see that he adored you. it was a sparkle in his eyes. he always talked about things you'd done and how beautiful you were. it was wonderful to see a father so devoted to his daugheter..."
ive never heard anything good said about him. not like that anyway.
he did care once. i wonder what happened.
next time i speak to him, im asking if he ever feels any guilt or regret.
i know what the answer will be; no.
but i still wanna ask.

(1 have | forsaken me)

Date:2005-08-17 16:14
Mood: lazy
Music:my head hurts =(

im supposed to be in a tutorial
but i cant be bothered to get off my butt
i should go hand in my essay
then maybe window shopping at box hill?
who has any money to do anything else?
im gonna make baked potato croquetes for tea
from the $1 cook book i bought.

heres a quiz i did on someone's journal
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Monique's Disease
Cause:thinking too hard
Symptoms:chills, ankle swelling, neck shortening, extreme long hair
Cure:take a day off work
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

and you should be nice to me.
thats all.

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-08-06 11:04
Mood: amused

the dog just strutted in with a pair of underwear in her mouth

(2 have | forsaken me)

Date:2005-08-03 13:06
Mood: tired

i am sooo bloody tired!
and broke
and i forget what i was going to write here
last night's dream was well weird.
i wish we could agree on something.

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-07-29 19:24
Mood: amused

my tamagotchi had a baby today,
i decided it was time to let her find love.
there were hearts,
the screen went black
firewroks went off
and a little bubby girl is the result.
and these things are for kids?!
i actually think it fell in love with a girl though! the girls are white, the boys black, and her friend was white...
i dont know how it worked, but i love the concept =)

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-07-29 19:17
Mood: relaxed

today i saw a man walking greeting a woman in a car.
they were so busy waving that she ran up the gutter
and he fell up the gutter on the other side
i must have had the stupidest look on my face trying not to laugh

im glad the shit is over for the time being
but we need to discuss the future my love.
and yes, you are my love.

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-07-27 13:37
Mood: crushed

i still love you.
but it seems we've reached a wall.
i hope you find the happinness you're looking for.

(forsaken me)

Date:2005-07-19 13:49
Mood: loved

" sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make a cake!!!!!!"

sometimes, mums knows just the right thing to say.
i miss my mum!!

(forsaken me)

my journal