i forgot the real reason for writing. i have three papers and one test left. and then i'm done with my undergraduate career. it hasn't really sunk in yet. yesterday after my silviculture test i went to return my book and then i was walking home and a song came on my ipod and i felt sad. one of the last times of returning a book. one of the last finals. one of the last times on campus with all the people i've learned to know and love. all of the stress, drama, conversations, procrastination...all has come to an end. i have no doubt in my mind that i will see these people again. but it won't be the same. i am so grateful for my time here and for this major that allowed me to do so much. driving around st. paul yesterday with Dan was bittersweet. i'm going to miss these cities, but i've come to know them as one and the same. the skylines, the neighborhoods, the feeling of change and history seeping out of every alley, window, and house. it's raining now. these four years have gone so fast. i feel like i've come to this point straight from high school. that sounds weird but that's how i feel. yesterday at the american jordan picked "Cute without the E" from the jukebox thing, and we used darts as microphones. it was for tradition, and everything we've been through. and everything to come.
In the stick count for the song with knowing you're gone
Glancing up at where you lived when you lived here
I see you suddenly alive and nearly smiling
Stop and hold my breath and watch the way we used to be
The full moon makes our faces shine like over-ironed polyester
Then disappears behind the clouds
And leaves me under empty rows of night windows
We could walk to where these streets get pulled together
Blinking, lined with gravel, shoulder squared towards an end
Where the radio resounds from doppling traffic
Where the power lines steal lessons from the hourly news
Depluralize our casualties, drown the generals out in static
We turn and watch our city sprawl and send us signals in the glow
Of night windows
But you're not coming home again, and I won't ever get to say
"Remember how I'm sorry that I miss the way it could be"
"Remember how I'm sorry that I miss the way it could be"
Night windows
that was the song that came on my ipod and almost made me cry--night windows-the weakterthans.
i dont know why as it has nothing to do anything. but i guess it does. :/
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