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Wednesday, October 8th, 2003

Time:8:00 pm.
Mood: anxious.
Music:Malchik-Gey--tATu.
New layout. Version Kotoki. Kotoki is, of course, the main character of .hack//SILENCE.

WONDERFUL NEWS!! Spike is adding one more fic to her .hack series. .hack//RESTORATION! Krad comes back!

For those of you who didn't know, Krad gets deleted in .hack//CATASTROPHE! ;_; But he comes back! Squall Leonhart is in the fic too, along with Kiree and Jax! ^_^ Sonomi is the main character. Learn all about it here: http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/geisha_yumi You can also learn more about Krad with my latest entry, I believe.

Krad has a journal now: http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/krad

And I can make journal avatars!! ^_^ Actual good ones! -so happy!-

Sorry for not updating in so long. Been busy. Like the new layout? The title and comment links are from the song "Freckles" from Rurouni Kenshin. That's Kotoki's theme.
Keep My Secret?

Friday, September 26th, 2003

Time:3:37 pm.
Mood: awake.
Music:Sobokaru--Rurouni Kenshin.
I got a GrestestJournal:

http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/geisha_yumi

And I told Emily that I liked her. Yes, she is the person that I like.

That's about all XP Oh, and Emma has a blurty. Slut didn't tell me. >>; Probably 'coz she knew I'd flood her with comments. HUZZAH!

No school today either. An entire week, missed. ^_^


The daughter that waited for the shadows repeated, "For sure... For sure I can go home." But the girl did not know...
2 Kept It | Keep My Secret?

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

Time:7:27 pm.
Music:Rock The Boat--Aaliyah.
Yeah, updating in english this time. Wanna know what I was posting before?

http://www.worldlingo.com/wl/Translate

It was russian, if you didn't know. So, yeah, I officially like someone now. Not tellin' who. >_>; 'Coz I'm paranoid like that. I'm bored right now. We don't have school tomorrow. ^_^ That'll be...7 days in a row, I think. Yeah. RPing with Emma. I like Shishio. He, Wiseman from MUTATION and that dude from Digimon Season three with blonde hair and the sunglasses have the same voice actor. That dude's voice is HOTT... He's funky. Shishio is neat-o. Heh, that rhymed.

AND NOW I WILL POST IN RUSSIAN!! XPPP

Я люблю русский. Русский хорош. Я люблю русский. Русский хорош.

AND! The lyrics to Simple Moves in russian! XPPPP


Просто движения



Я продолжаю просто движения
Вы продолжаете мои продолжения
Я буду вами, и вы мной
Я повторяю, вы повторяю.
Если вы хотите -,
то будьте молчком,
Ждите до тех пор пока он не остановить.
Если вы хотите ключей,
то К поворотам вокруг
Если вы хотите твое,
то Если вы хотите кто-нибудь,
то Если вы хотите, то как я
И я продолжаюсь

Просто движения, я продолжаюсь...

Просто движения..

Мы продолжаем просто движения
Мы продолжаемся для продолжения
Не спросите мне те вопросы
как раз препятствует движению просто.
Это будет влюбленность,
Весны скачут.
Завтра каждое
Может быть более малая после этого снежинка.
Мы должны находиться на времени
Отказывающ.
Мы должны мочь
Продолжайтесь жить.

Просто движения, продолжая жить...

Просто движения...

Где вы?
Где вы?
Где вы?

Где вы?
Где вы?
Где вы?

Где вы?
Где вы?
Где вы?

Просто движения...

Funky, ain't it?

Translation:

SIMPLE MOVES
I continue simple moves
You continue my continuations
I am you, and you are me
I repeat, you repeat.
If you want -be silent,
Wait until it stops.
If you want keys,
2 turns around
If you want yours,
If you want somebody's,
If you want be like me
And I continue

Simple moves, I continue...

Simple moves..

We continue simple moves
We continue for continuation
Don't ask me those questions
just lets move simple.
This is love,
Springs are jumping.
Tomorrow everyone
Can be smaller then snowflake.
We have to be on time
Not refusing.
We should be able
Continue to live.

Simple moves, continuing to live...

Simple moves...

Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?

Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?

Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?

Simple moves...

Bye.
Keep My Secret?

Time:1:41 pm.
Mood: blank.
Music:Malchik-Gey--tATu.
Никакая школа сегодня как вы вероятно уже не знает. Оно получает расточку через некоторое время. Не иметь школу пока каждое еще имеет школу и не быть единственное одним находится на линии. Слушать к Malchik-gey. Оно звучает острокомедийно. Оно не как funny как оно звучает, однако. Я имею перевод.

Я знаю вы думаете. Почему она уточняет на русском языке? Ответ просто. Я люблю русский. Холодный смотреть, не оно? Вы должны впустить, оно. Слушать к Tatu (Taty) получил меня внутри к ему. И я реально вывешу рассказ спайк и я написали. Реально. Я справедлив выжидающ мое время. Я не хочу пойти к школе завтра. Я буду надеющся мной пропущу всю неделю. Возможно я буду тем удачливейшим. Возможно я не буду. Я надеюсь так.

Оно официально! Я люблю некоторое одно теперь! Я не вывешу их имя, однако. Много, много переводчиков интернета вне там и я довольно no one знал. Это будет online другом моих. Я обхватывал мою головку в стыде! Это будет девушкой, да. Весь из моих online друзей будут девушками. Я не имею никаких друзей. Только в реальной жизни. Я pathetic, я знаю.

Это куда я ухожу. Влюбленность. Ненависть. Гнев. Тоскливость. Пусто. Самостоятельно. Живо. Счастливо.

3 будут мной чувствуя теперь? Догадка.


The daughter that waited for the shadows repeated, "For sure... For sure I can go home." But the girl did not know...
Keep My Secret?

Monday, September 22nd, 2003

Time:11:43 pm.
Да, я уточняю снова. Это время на русском языке. Не спросите почему, я имею как раз всегда хотел сделать вход на русском языке. Отсутствие школы завтра. То будет 6 дней в рядке. И вспомните когда я сказал что я побил перегласовку? Я лежал. Я все еще не бил его. Но я получаю близким! Реально! Так, да. То все там к этому входу. Я иду вывесить fic Soujiro и Kenshin романское внутри здесь вероятно завтра. Идти пойти теперь. См. вас.


The daughter that waited for the shadows repeated, "For sure... For sure I can go home." But the girl did not know...
Keep My Secret?

Subject:No school tomorrow either. Lyrics.
Time:11:09 pm.
Mood: happy.
Music:Count Up To 100--tATu.
Doschitai do sta (Count up to 100)
He said "I'm tired"
He won't be brought back
You're counting up to 100
You are dreaming of falling asleep

You're counting up to 100
100 random names
And you should sleep and don't think about him
And you should sleep and don't think about him
And you should sleep and don't think about him

Your boat is empty
near the alien coasts/ banks
You're counting up to 100
100 snows at a dawn

This theme/ subject is simple
You know what you should do

You should just count up to 100, and forget
You should just count up to 100, and forget
You should just count up to 100, and forget

FOR-E-VER

So count, count, count up to 100
So count, count, count up to 100
So count, count, count up to 100
So count, count, count up to 100

4 5 6 7 8 ......

100 sleepless nights
In the labyrinths of love
100 random keys
But only zeroes as the result

100 friends, 100 enemies
100 melted icerocks

Be forgetting about him. 101, 101
Be forgetting about him, forgetting forever
Be forgetting about him, forgetting forever

FOR-E-VER.

So count, count, count up to 100
So count, count, count up to 100
So count, count, count up to 100
So count, count, count up to 100

59, 60, 61, 62 .....

So count, count, count up to 100
So count, count, count up to 100
So count, count, count up to 100
So count, count up


The daughter that waited for the shadows repeated, "For sure... For sure I can go home." But the girl did not know...
Keep My Secret?

Sunday, September 21st, 2003

Time:10:02 pm.
No school tomorrow. Code Red at school, whatever that is. It has to do with the storm, that's all I know. Gary, The Rat rocks. Yeah, dunno why I'm updating.

I want .hack//OUTBREAK. ;; And I look like a Hello Kitty fan gone wrong. XP

So, yeah. Not much else to post.

The daughter that waited for the shadows repeated, "For sure... For sure I can go home." But the girl did not know...
Keep My Secret?

Time:2:13 pm.
Mood: artistic.
Music:It's Gonna Rain-- From Rurouni Kenshin, by someone.
Wrote a Soujiro/Kenshin fic. Mom's pissing me off. Yeah, here's the fic:

It's Gonna Rain


Part one of the 'Rain' series


It's Gonna Rain(you are here)
(songfic) Bring On The Rain


----------------------
Pairing: Kenshin/Soujiro

Author(s): Bianca and Spike

Warnings: Mild yaoi, spoilers. Don't read unless you've seen the Rurouni Kenshin OVAs and the Kyoto Arc of Rurouni Kenshin (or read the manga).

Desctription: Kenshin Himura hides behind many masks, reflecting silently upon himself as Hitokiri Battousai, his first love, Yukishiro Tomoe and the kind Kamiya Kaoru. In his own mind, he is drowning in depression, angst, and hatred. Can Seta Soujiro, The Tenken, right-hand man of his enemy, Shishio, help him remove the masks and show him he's not alone?

Disclaimer: Only one of us owns the computer we're typing on and the other owns a couple of sticks of gum. Do you *really* think we could own anyone or ANYTHING from Rurouni Kenshin, let alone Rurouni Kenshin itself?

Author Note(s): "It's Gonna Rain" was inspired by the song It's Gonna Rain, a Daisuke/Takeru fic, and some other random things.

Once again, we own nothing. Please read and enjoy. (We are rarely ever this well spoken.)
----------------------


"Anata. . . remarkably made it rain blood. Rain of blood."

"Stop! I've found you now, Hitokiri Battousai!!"

"Hitokiri Battousai. . . You're amazing! The victim isn't even given time to scream!"

"I'll come right out and ask. . . have you killed? There's nothing pretty about this. It's murder."

"Hitokiri Battousai. . ."

"Hitokiri Battousai!"

"Hitokiri--"

"Kenshin?"

Kenshin looked up, slightly suprised, to the door way where Kaoru stood. He hadn't even noticed her. He smiled gently, folding the clothing that he had been holding. "Ah, Kaoru-dono. Gomen nasai, I didn't see you there." He paused, seeing the worried look upon her face. "Is something wrong?"

"Kenshin, are you alright? You've been acting odd. I'm worried."

The former Battousai was genuinely touched by her concern. He smiled reassuringly. "Onegai, don't worry about me. I'm fine, de gozaru. I've just had. . . alot of things on my mind. But I'm fine, really."

Kaoru looked unconvinced. "Are you sure?"

"Hai. Please do not worry about me."

Kaoru paused, gazing at him somewhat hesitantly, as if reluctant to let it go. She nodded however and smiled weakly at him before turning and exiting the room. Kenshin's smile faded and he sighed, returning to the laundry. His mind had been elsewhere lately, drifting off into the past of Hitokiri Battousai. He was not suprised that Kaoru was worried. He shook his head, finished the folding and stood, dusting himself off.

Lately, he'd been thinking. About the past, and Tomoe, and things now; even more than usual. He couldn't seem to help himself. Another sigh, he headed to the doorway. A bit of fresh air would do him some good. He hadn't been out of the dojo in a while.

He left the room and then went through the front door and down the steps of the dojo, after telling Kaoru he was going for a short walk and he would return soon. He opened the gates and moved out into the street, closing the gates behind him and he began walking. Where he was going, he hadn't decided. Nor had he decided how long we would be there. He just had to go somewhere, anywhere. Maybe he'd go to the docks. . . It was always so peaceful out there. . .

"You're going to continue killing, then."

He tensed and stopped walking. There it was again. He pressed his index finger to him temple, closing his eyes tightly as he started walking again. Tomoe was on his mind constantly. He missed her dearly. She had been his first, his one true love. She would never leave him completely. But why now? And why with the memories of Hitokiri Battousai; the memories he had tried to hard to leave behind so that he could finally start over? Was it mere coincidence? Or was his sub-concious trying to tell him something? He didn't know.

He wondered at times. . . wondered how Tomoe had changed him so much. The face he'd shown to everyone else and the face he'd shown to her; completely different. He didn't understand, even now. But he did understand that she had changed him and he would always be grateful to her. She'd broken down the walls that he had kept up so well for so long. He'd killed to change the world, all the while being wrong and she had shown him that when no one else could. She had been his sheath all along, even when neither of them knew it. When she'd set out hating him and he had been unable to hate her and they had ended up loving each other. How ironic.

"It is odd. He killed my first love, and ended up becoming my second." That was what she had written in her diary.

And then there was Kaoru. The sweet, kind, innocent Kaoru that had allowed him to stay in her dojo; had excepted him for who he was. He was grateful to her too. Kaoru was a good woman. She was strong, intellegent and beautiful. He loved her, in what ways he wasn't yet sure. But he cared for her and would do anything in and out of his power to keep her safe. She deserved it. She deserved that and more. . .

He hadn't been able to protect Tomoe.

It wouldn't be that way with Kaoru.

Kaoru-dono. She hated when he called her that. He could tell by the look on her face; dissapointed. But it was for the best. He would not, could not get close to her. She would only end up like Tomoe and he couldn't bare that. If she were to die. . . If it were to end like it had with Tomoe. . . He could never forgive himself. He would never be able to handle that.

Sometimes, when he looked in the mirror, he could see him there. He could see the Battousai, Hitokiri Battousai. He was always there, the cold, golden eyes hiding behind his own violet ones. He would see them, glowing faintly, cold and hollow. He hated it. He hated being like this, with him, always with him. The memories, the scar; these were enough. He didn't need the actual Battousai always there, waiting to be set free, to shed more blood.

It wouldn't happen, he wouldn't let it. As long as he didn't break his oath to never kill again, he'd be fine. But could he? Could he really with the Battousai so close? Ready and waiting to come out as soon as the battle got fierce? He could. . . He could. . .

"Oro?"

He looked around, suddenly aware that he was on the bridge. He hadn't even realized he'd still been walking. Pausing, he sighed and sat down, staring out over the water. He wore so many masks. . . For Kaoru, Sanosuke, Yahiko, his opponents and to everyone in general. When was the last time he'd really smiled? An actual smile, of happiness, that he'd really meant? He could remember. Had it really been that long ago?

He stood up and walked across the bridge, and off towards the forest. He didn't feel like sitting down just yet. He'd enter the forest, find a good spot, then he'd sit down. And that was just what he did. He found a spot, by a lake, with a cherry blossom tree growing. He sat at the base of the tree as the petals of the flowers fell around him. He caught some and tossed them into the lake. It was calm here. Here, he could just think. . . But he didn't want to think. He wanted to talk to someone. But there was no one to talk to. . . No one who would understand. . .

"Himura-san?"

His head snapped up and there, before him, stood Seta Soujiro. He frowned and his eyes narrowed slightly, fingering the hilt of his sword. Soujiro simply smiled.

"I didn't expect to see you out here. Where are your friends?"

Kenshin didn't look suprised. Soujiro was always cheery like this. Just because he'd given a polite greeting, didn't mean he didn't have any intention of fighting. He did not responded; his eyes narrowed a bit more. Soujiro blinked and then giggled slightly, tilting his head to the side.

"You can relax, Himura-san." The younger boy reassured him. "I'm not going to fight you. I just came out here to relax and you just happened to be here. There's no reason we can't just have quick chat and get along for now, ne?"

Kenshin paused, considering this. Was it really a good idea to trust him? He did not move for a moment, before finally, his fingers drifted from the hild of his sword, to his lap. He relaxed against the base of the tree and Soujiro, still smiling, took a seat next to him. Silence followed.

"So. . ." Soujiro began, attempting to start some sort of conversation.

". . . why are you out here?"

"I told you; I wanted to relax. I always come out here to relax."

"Oh. I didn't realize this was your personal place, de gozaru. Gomen nasai."

"Daijoubu, I don't mind. It's nice to have someone else out here. It gets kind of lonely sitting out here by myself."

Kenshin nodded and silence consumed. He continued toying with the sakura petals. Soujiro spoke again.

"Is everything alright?" Was it his imagination, or was there a hint of worry in the Tenken's voice?

He nodded, not looking at the slightly shorter boy. "Hai." But he could feel Soujiro's gaze boring in to him and knew that he was unconvinced. He sighed. "I've just been thinking a lot, de gozaru. That's all. It's nothing important."

"What have you been thinking about?"

"The past."

"Hitokiri Battousai?"

Kenshin nodded.

"Ah."

Silence. And suddenly, Kenshin realized, it was strangely easy to talk to Soujiro. He felt as if he could tell him anything. He didn't know why. . . Maybe it was because they shared so much in common. Yes, they did share a lot in common. The killing, it began at such an early age. Both doing what they saw as right, believing in what they did to the fullest.

They both wore masks.

Kenshin knew that Soujiro could feel. Deep down, behind that smile, there were emotions. Real ones. Soujiro, like everyone else, was human. But he hid that behind a smile. Like Kenshin hid the Battousai behind a smile. They were alike. . . So alike, and he'd never even noticed. . .

"I've been thinking about Tomoe." It came out before he could stop it and as soon as it did, he felt strangely relieved. He went one. "She. . . she was my first love. The reason I stopped killing. She hated me because I'd killed her fiance and she wanted revenge. . . But somewhere in there. . . at some point we fell in love. And she gave her life to save mine when I didn't deserve it. I killed her by accident, and after taking her life, I swore to never take another. She completed the cross shaped scar on my cheek that her fiance started. If it weren't for her, I'd still be him. I'd still be Battousai." And that was it. He'd told what had been bothering him. It was not all that had been bothering him, but it had been what was bothering him the most. What would Soujiro say? Would he think Kenshin foolish? And if so, why did it matter so much? Why did he care?

There was a pause.

"Have you told your friends this?"

He was suprised by the softness of Soujiro's voice. He shook his head. "Iie."

"So, why are you telling me?"

"I just. . ." He suddenly felt very silly. Embarressed. He'd just told the right-hand man of his arch-enemy something he couldn't tell Kaoru, or Sano, or Yahiko. Exposed to him his inner conflict. "I. . . just felt that I could tell you, de gozaru."

Another pause. Kenshin grabbed a handful of sakura petals and prepared to throw them into the water, but something stopped his hand. He looked up to see Soujiro holding his wrist. He blinked and Soujiro brought the former Battousai's hand to his nose, breathing in. Kenshin let out a faint 'oro'. Soujiro looked up at him and smiled.

"The cherry blossoms," he explained. "They smell good. They always do." And he pushed Kenshin's hand gently under his nose, urging him to smell.

Kenshin did so and then blinked. They did smell good. And they were pretty too. A bit squished in his hand and wet from the sweat, but the smell was still strong, as if some sort of sign that no matter what happened, they'd still be there, scent as strong as ever, never giving up, always having hope. And perhaps. . . that was what Soujiro was trying to show him. He looked to the other male who smiled up at him. And he then realized; Soujiro was like him. Soujiro. . . Soujiro could understand.

"You have many people who care about you, Himura-san." He said softly, still holding the other man's wrist gingerly. "All of whom want you to be happy. If you can tell me these things, you can tell them. You're a very likable man, Himura-san. People, especially your friends, trust you. You're like the cherry blossoms. It's hard not to like you. Telling them these things won't make them think any less of you or pity you, if you really don't want them to. Please don't think any less of yourself, Himura-san. I don't understand you and I probably never will. Your ways confuse me. But I do know one thing. You are who you want to be and if you don't want to be Hitokiri Battousai, then, well, you're not. Don't forget that."

Kenshin was shocked. And his face obviously showed it because Soujiro giggled. He shook himself out of his shock and smiled. A real smile. His first one in a while. "Soujiro. . ." His arm relaxed in Soujiro's hold. "Arigatou."

Soujiro smiled. "You're welcome, Himura-san." And, before he even realized it, Soujiro's lips were against his in a chaste kiss. He pulled back, not giving Kenshin a chance to respond and stood, smiling down at the once again shocked, now scarlet-cheeked man. "Well, we'd better get going." And he turned.

Kenshin blinked. "Oro? We?"

Soujiro turned and smiled at the red-head. "Hai. Of course, Himura-san. I was hoping you'd come to a resturant with me before I returned to Shishio-san and you to your friends. Unless you'd rather stay out here which I really don't recommend."

Kenshin was on his feet by now, cheeks returning to their normal color, approaching Soujiro. "I don't understand. . ." He murmured. "Why?" He wasn't just talking about leaving the forest. There was more to the 'why'. It was obvious.

"Because. . ." Soujiro looked up at the sky and then back at Kenshin and, once again to Kenshin's complete suprised, slipped his hand into Kenshin's lacing his fingers with the other man's. Kenshin, after a moment of obvious suprise, slowly smiled that real smile again and let him. Soujiro smiled back and looked up at the sky again. Kenshin did the same.

Only then did the realize that the sky was turning grey from dark clouds. He hadn't even noticed. He looked back at Soujiro who squeezed his hand slightly and finally finished what he had started to say:


"It's gonna rain."


~Fin~


Author Note(s): We have no idea when this takes place. The Kyoto Arc is still in progress; Soujiro has not yet become a rurouni. In fact, they haven't even had their second fight. But, yeah, we dunno. We finished this at 11:42 at night, without anything to keep us awake and we stayed up all of last night. So we haven't slept for two days. Fuck you if you see typos and want to complain. Be impressed we even managed to finish this.

We will start on the next part of the series as soon as we can. Suck our invisible, female dicks if you have a problem.


COMING SOON

Part Two: Bring On The Rain




The daughter that waited for the shadows repeated, "For sure... For sure I can go home." But the girl did not know...
Keep My Secret?

Time:10:11 am.
Mood: calm.
Music:Count Up To 100--tATu.
Hurricane Isabel hit and I named my newest character after her. Our electricity was off for 2 days straight and just came on yesturday. I was just able to come online today. My weekend sucked. Franklin was fucked up. Survey--

Layer One - Stats...
-- Name: Bianca M. Rawlings
-- Birth date: August 22nd, 1989
-- Birthplace: Franklin, Virginia, some random hospital
-- Current Location: Franklin, Virginia
-- Eye Color: Dark brown
-- Hair Color: Dark, DARK brown. Almost black.
-- Height: 4'9
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Leo

Layer Two - Describe...
-- Your heritage: African American and Indian.
-- The shoes you wore today: I wore no shoes! Slut!
-- Your weakness: My computer.
-- Your fears: Real, REAL dark places.
-- Your perfect pizza: Has lots and LOTS of cheese.
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: To become a writer

Layer Three - Tell...
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: Bitch(es).
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Shiiit...
-- Your best physical feature: The only thing I really like is my nose. I dunno why. I have a thing for noses. Shishio's nose, Kelly's nose, Emily's nose, Kenshin's nose, my nose...
-- Your bedtime: On weeknights: 10. Weekends: No such thing as bed time.
-- Your greatest accomplishment: Finishing a fanfic in an hour, without stopping.
-- Your most missed memory: Getting my computer >_>;

Layer Four - You prefer...
-- Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Mcdonalds
-- Single or group dates: Single
-- Adidas or Nike: Nike
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino

Layer Five - Do you...?
-- smoke: Nope.
-- Cuss: All the time.
-- Sing well: No.
-- Take a shower everyday: Yeah.
-- Have a crush(es): Yes.
-- Do you think you've been in love: Yeah
-- Want to go to college: Mmhmm.
-- Like high school: Haven't been there.
-- Want to get married: No.
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: I used too oo;
-- Believe in yourself: No
-- Get motion sickness: No
-- Think you're attractive: No
-- Think you're a health freak: No
-- Get along with your parents: Yeah
-- Like thunderstorms: Not really
-- Play an instrument: Yeah, clarinet.

Layer Six - In the past, did/have you...
-- Drank alcohol: A martini..It was good. And accidently some wine. Ew.
-- Smoke(d): No.
-- Done a drug: No.
-- Made Out: No.
-- Go on a date: Yeah.
-- Go to the mall?: Who hasn't?
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Yep!
-- Eaten sushi: Yes.
-- Been on stage: Couple of times..First time was, as Ms. Hawaii >_>;
-- Been dumped: Yeah.
-- Gone skating: Yeah.
-- Made homemade cookies: No.
-- Gone skinny dipping: Yeah.
-- Dyed your hair: Put streaks in it.
-- Stolen anything: I couldn't help it...I love gum. ;;

Layer Seven - The future...
-- Age you hope to be married: Never.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: None...but if I HAD to have one, it'd be named Schit...
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: A non-existant one.
-- How do you want to die: In a war.
-- Where you want to go to college: Dunno yet.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: A writer
-- What country would you most like to visit: Japan

Layer eight - Opposite sex
-- Best eye color? Blue, grey, or green. Or brown. Any.
-- Best hair color? Doesn't matter.
-- Short or long hair?: Short
-- Best height: Taller than 4'9 >_>;
-- Best weight: Dun matter. Just..not too light.
-- Best articles of clothing: Nothing at all.
-- Best first date location: The movies. In Maryland.
-- Best first kiss location: At my front door.

Layer nine - Number of...
-- people I have kissed in my life: Three
-- people I have made out with: No one
-- girl/boyfriends I've had: Two
-- drugs taken illegally: None
-- people I could trust with my life: Tashara, Tierra, my grandmother and Derrick
-- CDs that I own: Don't have a CD burner. Avril Lavinge, Evanescence, tATu.
-- piercings: Ears.
-- Number of tattoos: None.
-- times my name has been in the newspaper?: Once.
-- scars on my body: A lot.
-- things in my past that I regret: Too many to list.

LAST
time you showered: Last night.
movie you saw: S.W.A.T.
Thing you ate: A chocolate turtle
Thing you drank: Milk
Thing you bought: Gum
Person you hugged: Mom
Person you kissed on the cheek: Mom
Song you listened to: Anything But Ordinary ~ Avril Lavinge
Thing you smelled: Soda
Person you talked to online: Des
Person you talked to for real: Uncle
CD you bought: tATu
Thing you said you loved: Mom
Thing you said you hated: The electricity being off
Board game you played: Er...
Play you attended: ER...
Compliment you received: ER!....
Book you read: Dreamland
TV show you watched: -shrug-
New friend you made: Emily's friend.
Song you sang along to: Ya Soshla S Uma
Person you were mean to: -shrug-
Online quiz you took: -shrug-
Fantasy you had: Soujiro and Kenshin >_>;
Time you altered your hair: -shrug-
Time you cried: Yesturday
Person you called: Brittany
Person who called you: Dunno
Letter you received: Dunno
Email you received: Emily
Thought to cross your mind: Soujiro/Kenshin

Home Life
Describe your...
-room- Mint green --;
-kitchen- Purdy
-bathroom- Yellow and purple.
-pantry- Full.
-refridgerator- Full.
-pets- One dog
-parents- Robert and Susan(don't know her)
-siblings- Two that I don't know
-tv- Ick.
-radio- Woo!!
-blinds- White.
roof- Brown

Do You...
-have a boat?- No.
-have a pool?- Yeah.
-have cable?- Yeah.
-watch mtv?- Once in a while.
-sleep nude?- Yeah.
-have a waterbed?- I used to.
-like cookies?- Mmhmm!
-have DVDs?- Yeah.
-like cheese?- Mm!!
-have a watch?- Yeah.
-have icq?- No.
-sing in the shower?- No.
-have a cell phone?- No.
-keep a photo album?- Yeah.
-drink water?- Yeah.
-like roller coasters?- I'm...scared of heights.. ._.
-drive?- I will...some day...
-have a best friend?- Tashara.
-I would like to go to- Japan.
-I need...- 5 dollars. Give it.
Keep My Secret?

Wednesday, September 17th, 2003

Subject:Looking back...
Time:8:23 pm.
Mood: melancholy.
Music:A Place For My Head--Linkin Park.
I've been thinking about the past alot. Mostly school, friends. Lots of regrets. Lots of people I want to apologize too. I suddenly feel bad. I cried twice today; I cry easily. I really felt like letting this all out, so I'm just gonna type it up in here, not giving two shits about who sees it.

I've been thinking about about Zak. He was an english kid who transferred to out school. He wasn't quite right in the head, and that's putting it lightly. But I cared about Zak, alot. In the beginning, we were good friends. I felt that we understood each other. And for the short time I knew him, I felt that there was nothing I couldn't tell Zak. I trusted him. But he was teased alot. And me, being the ass I am, teased him too. Not for the same reason, of course. Just friendly teasing. But Zak was annoyed by it. I didn't mean to upset him. I know he didn't hate me because of it, even if he said he did alot. But I could tell, by the way he looked, he didn't mean it. It hurt though. A lot of, "I hate you"s and "you disgust me"s, all to respond to my, "I'm sorry"s and "Let's try to be friends again, Zak"s. I didn't mean to. I really did like Zak. Not like people said I did, of course. But I cared about him and in truth, I would of done anything to help him out. But he went back home. I never got to say good-bye, or let him know that I was really, truly sorry. I didn't help him with his problems, I made them worse. I'm sorry, Zak. People said he was fucked up. Maybe they were right. I didn't care, he was my friend. I'm sorry, Zak. I was no help.

And suddenly, I'm thinking about Josh. We're friends now, yeah. With the occasional, "Oh, dear God" and "Oh, no" when ever I cling to him, but it's all good. Still, back then, Josh was really depressed at home. I think he still is. I was bugging him and, like an idiot, I jumped on him, or rather on his book bag. He was yanked back and fell to the ground. I stood over him.

"Bianca!" He'd yelled, kicking at my leg, red and angry. "That HURT!" He was serious.

Any other person would of apologized. Helped him up and told him they'd never do it again. But not me. I wanted to, but it wouldn't come out. Instead, I smiled smugly and he stood and didn't talk to me. I wanted to cry then; I'm wimpy like that. I'm sorry, Josh. I really am. Even if we're friends now, I'm sorry for back then. When you were sad, and I couldn't make you feel better and when I upset you and couldn't apologize. I know you're not reading this, but I'm so sorry.

Jerry was a good friend of mine. He moved. I never even got a chance to tell him good-bye. I regret that. I really do miss him. Me and him; we were two of a kind. We were both complete retards and we loved being that way. Jerry made him laugh and vice-versa. I used to really hate him. But we became friends. That's one thing I'll never regret. He's gone. I hope he's doing well.

Alveta and Khadedra are a grade ahead of me now. I failed. I miss them and we don't talk anymore. I knew them the longest, before any of the others. We were like sisters and now it's like we never even knew each other. I had hoped, even though I failed we would keep in touch. This hope was shattered when I lived each day afterwards with an empty e-mail box and lack of phone calls.

Devi, she just left. I have regrets, but I don't. I'm kind of glad she did. Our friendship was a quick one, and not very stable. It didn't last as long as any of the others. Devi, if you ever somehow read this, I don't hate you. I just have a strong dislike for you now as I'm sure you do me. But if you're willing to try again...then maybe.

Kat came back on. I'm not worried. We're still friends. But her mom didn't like me. I think that's why she moved. But, like I said, I'm not worried.

Dib's been gone forever. I hope he's alright, really I do. Emily misses him something terrible. Rin would call me if something had happened; I'm sure of it. I know he's okay. I know he's okay.....I hope he's okay....I'd rather not stay on the subject. Thinking about him makes things worse.

I feel, for some reason, that it's my job to cheer my friends up when they're sad. Comfort them. But I suck at that. So I say and do stupid stuff to make them smile. And when it doesn't work, I say and do nothing at all. And I feel horrible on the inside. As if I've failed my duties somehow as their friend. I like to see my friends smile. Everyone who I know on a friendly basis; everyone I care about. If they're not happy, I can't be happy. I can act like it, but I'm not. When I can't cheer them up...When I can't make them smile...I feel terrible. I feel...worthless. Like I'm not useful or good for anything except being in the way. And I cry. Like I said, I cry easily. My mom says I cry *too* easily. And she's right. I cry for stupid things.

People, they make fun of me. And I feel like I'm no better than them. Because I make fun of people too, behind their backs. I want to stop; I know it's not a good thing to do. I don't do it often...Just, sometimes, something slips out. I don't mean for it to. It just does and I can't take it back and afterwards, I feel horrible for saying it. No one deserves that. No one deserves to be talked about badly or anything like that. No matter who they are. I don't like it when they do that to me; I shouldn't do it to them. Maybe it's because I'm a hypocrite...I don't know.

I took a test and it said I was "The Protector". Only 50% was true. I am not who people turn to for advice. I'm the one who turns to others for advice. I'm no leader. I never will be. I'm not strong enough. But I care about my friends and hold them close...So close, that I really do believe a true betrayel may shatter me. Devi's kind of did. I didn't say anything, but I cried for four nights straight after that. I was disgusted with myself afterwards.

I'm ranting, so I'm gonna shut up. Supposed to be a Hurricane tomorrow. I'm not going to school for the rest of the week. I get to do a report on Yamamura Sadako. Wanna help, leave a comment. I'll appreciate it. Bye.


Chosen Hopeless Nothingness
Keep My Secret?

Saturday, September 13th, 2003

Time:5:47 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
Music:Ya Tvoi Vrag--t.A.T.u..
Spike and I have come up with yet another character, this one named Krad. And we really weren't thinking of Krad from DNAngel when we named him, really. He appears in Spike's fic, Cold Heat, flirts with Mai and kicked Leon's ass. XP And he appears in another fic of ours, a .hack fic. We made him originally to be an AI character because we're .hack obsessed. He's somehow involved with Morganna. How, we haven't decided. Our .hack fic is ".hack//SILENCE", and you can read it...no where. I'll post it in here after it's finished. Stats and stuff:

Name: Krad

Age: Unknown

Height: 6'

Hair: Blue-ish silver (kind of like Elk's only lighter and funkier), pulled back into a somewhat messy ponytail, shoulder length, just barely.

Eye: Same color as hair, slightly narrowed

Skin: Some what pale, creamy complection (Spike: Lucky fucker.)

Favorite Color(s): Grey, Navy Blue

Least Favorite Color(s): Yellow

Favorite Food(s)/Drink(s): None, Sake

Least Favorite Food(s)/Drink(s): Sweet Things, None

Good At...: Seeing a problem from all points of view, fighting, flirting, being able to tell when people are lying, knowing what to say and when to say it

Bad At...: Remembering names, putting up with stupid shit

Likes: Yes or no questions, dark colored things, fighting, flirting, playing tricks, pissing off Leon and Iizuka, soothing music, stalking Kotoki

Dislikes: Very bright things, boring things, Leon, Iizuka, stupid people, whistling

Description(describes personality, etc. Comes from Spike and Bianca little book of story characters): Rather flirtatious, Krad is somewhat like Mia from the .hack games. He's quite the trickster and, quite simply, does what he wants to do. In .hack//SILENCE, our heroine, Kotoki, first meets Krad at a scrolls shop in Dun Lorieag, with Iizuka. Obviously, both of the males have met before. Krad takes an immediate liking to Kotoki, affectionately calling her Koto-chan(getting Iizuka extremely jealous). He then starts helping her, following her around and going with her to dungeons, stating he's found amazing news when in reality he only said he did to annoy them. Don't let this fool you, though. He plays a very big part in the story because, you see, it is revealed that Krad is more than what he's been appearing to be.

In Cold Heat, Krad makes an appearance as a waiter whom seems to know Leon on less than friendly terms. To Mai, however, he is more than a gentleman. He gives her a special menu, tells her she doesn't have to pay and gives her some advice about Leon. However, when she returns to that resturant to speak with him, she discovers he no longer works there.

SPOLILER::
Krad works for Morganna. What he does for her is unknown and if he's getting anything in return is also unknown. It's also unknown wether or not he's one of her creations. All that is really known is his orders during the story .hack//SILENCE were to gain information on Kotoki and, if nessecary, destroy her. He ended having to try to. He has an attack known as Instant Farewell, that he uses at the end of the fight. Instead of hitting Kotoki, however, he hits Iizuka(who jumps in the way), killing him not only in the game but IRL. This gives Kotoki to use her twilight item to data-drain Krad.

Krad, now data-drained, manages to escape and comes back in .hack//RECOLLECTION, in his data-drained form, Drak("Krad" scrambled up). The rest, in .hack//RECOLLECTION, you will have to discover on your own.

Another spolier: Krad is meant to be an AI, but he's not. What he is, hasn't been decided on. However, whatever he is, he can not only be present in The World, but outside of it. Proof is in Cold Heat, when he was working as a waiter. That was not a coincidence, seeing as Mai is the heroine of .hack//RECOLLECTION. I SWEAR we didn't steal the name from Mai in the .hack OVAs. REALLY! OO;


Yeah, that's all. That's our Krad. Must make a layout for him.

Huzzah.
Keep My Secret?

Saturday, August 30th, 2003

Time:6:37 pm.
Mood: busy.
Music:Can You Keep A Secret--Utada Hikaru.
And I've changed the rules again. This journal still has surveys, other blurty still got just updates and my uJournal still has tests but now, my uJournal and this journal have updates too because they seem so incomplete with just entries. SO HERE WE GOOOO!

Simple Moves is Shiiro's theme along with some others. Here is da lyrics. This is gonna be a big entry.

I continue simple moves
You continue my continuations
I am you, and you are me
I repeat, you repeat.
If you want -be silent,
Wait until it stops.
If you want keys,
2 turns around
If you want yours,
If you want somebody's,
If you want be like me
And I continue

Simple moves, I continue...

Simple moves..

We continue simple moves
We continue for continuation
Don't ask me those questions
just lets move simple.
This is love,
Springs are jumping.
Tomorrow everyone
Can be smaller then snowflake.
We have to be on time
Not refusing.
We should be able
Continue to live.

Simple moves, continuing to live...

Simple moves...

Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?

Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?

Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?

Simple moves...

I like it. The video rocks.

And now! Spike had an RP idea. It's about this girl named Miaka and her boyfriend left her and she's pretty much a social outcast. And then, she meets this boy named Zieg, who's basically the typical seductive, sexy, irresistable dude. BUT..There's a secret about him oo; He's not only a seductive, sexy, irresistable dude..He's also an obsessive psychopath who's like...400 years old, cursed with a curse that says if he doesn't find a person who he loves, who will love him back forever, he will live his life full of sorrorw and shit and he chooses Miaka. So, they get together, screw, ya know, tha good stuff. Then Miaka's boyfriend wants her back and, forgetting about Zieg, she goes back to him. Needless to say, Zieg isn't happy and, because he "loves" Miaka, he threatens her.

She leaves him and heads home, but then, because he's this mystical type dude, he starts invading her dreams. And, of course, she finds out the truth and it all freaked out so she goes to her boyfriend's house but his parents, (because of past happenings) think she's nuts so they don't want her with their son and they don't let her in. Miaka's boyfriend is asleep, Zieg kills him in his dream and calls Miaka on the telephone, all psychotic and shit. Miaka sees that this is even more serious than she thought and tries to tell her parents; they're dead. So, she runs out to go to her neighbor's house. They see her, covered in blood and, since she has a reputation for being nuts, they (to put it lightly) freak out and call the police. She is accused of murders she didn't commit and sent to an asylum where she sees Zieg--as one of the doctors.

She starts screaming, only to be put in a room where, a bit later, Zieg comes in. After a brief conversation (Zieg STILL trying to get her to take him back), she freaks and screams how she'll never love him. Zieg, pissed, tells her to have it her way, and leaves after telling the nurses she's clearly disturbed and walks off and, without anyone knowing, out of the hospital. Miaka if left alone, in the asylum with nothing to do but remember. She is dead in her room, the next day, and, on the wall in bloody letters is written: "All is fair in love and war." (that's like..Zieg's favorite quote...). Da End.

And, some friends of mine have been asking questions about Shiiro. Here ya go:


Questions Asked Alot::
Q: At certain times, you call her Shiro and at others, Shiiro; why is that?
A: Originally, her name is Shiro, which is my name is japanese. But then I made a typo(Shiiro) and thought it looked cooler so I changed it to that. I still call her Shiro some times, though. It doesn't matter which you use; it's still correct.

Q: You say that Shiiro is a twin blade. What kind of twin blades does she use?
A: Phantom/Shadow Blades, level 50.

Q: How old is Shiiro IRL?
A: Either 14, or 16. I haven't really decided.

Q: Do Shiiro and Dei know each other outside of The World?
A: Yes.

Q: Did they meet outside or inside of The World? And how?
A: Shiiro and Dei met inside of The World, when Dei was about to die while fighting a monster. Shiiro helped her out and the rest is history! ^^;

Q: Why does Shiiro spend so much of her time in Mac Anu? Is there any real reason?
A: Not really. She just likes hanging around in Mac Anu.

Q: How many levels is Shiiro above Dei?
A: 50. Dei is level 2, Shiiro is level 52.

Q: Is Shiiro still raising her level?
A: Yes.

Q: Shiiro IS a girl IRL, right?
A: Yes.

Q: Is there anything really special about Shiiro?
A: Not really. She's just a regular player. She isn't trapped in The World, she hasn't got any special twilight item, nor has she, or anyone she knows fallen into a coma while playing the game. But she knows that these things are happening. Shiiro believes that The World is more than just a game and does her best to find someway to prove her suspicions are true. Like Mia is interested in Kite and his bracelet, Shiiro is interested in The World and it's secrets.

Q: Are Shiiro and Dei dating IRL?
A: No.

Q: Does Shiiro even LIKE Dei?
A: If you mean like, as in friendship, then yes. Shiiro believes that if you have one good friend, you're good for the rest of your life and that Dei is that one good friend. However, if you mean romantically, then no. Dei likes Shiiro in a romantic way, but the feelings are not returned.

Personal Questions About Shiiro::

Q: What's Shiiro's favorite song?
A: She doesn't have one.

Q: What's type of music does she listen to?
A: Anything that sounds good.

Q: Does Shiiro play sports?
A: Yes. Soccer and volley ball.

Q: I once heard that Shiiro sings. Is that true?
A: She *can* sing, but she doesn't like to.

Q: Does Shiiro watch TV?
A: Yes.

Q: Often?
A: No. She's usually busy playing The World.

Q: Does she have a favorite show?
A: She did, but it got cancelled.

Q: Does Shiiro play video games other than The World?
A: She doesn't usually, but she owns quite a few.

Q: Does Shiiro make good grades?
A: Yes, actually. As and Bs.

Q: Does Shiiro have a favorite movie?
A: No. She doesn't like watching movies that much.

Q: What's Shiiro's favorite food?
A: She doesn't have one.

Q: Least favorite?
A: Anything sweet. Shiiro doesn't like sweet things.

Q: So she doesn't like candy?
A: No.

Q: Does Shiiro have any siblings?
A: Yes. A younger sister named Mayu.

Q: Parents?
A: A mother and a father. But she doesn't see her father that much since he works a lot.

Q: Does Shiiro have a dysfunctional family?
A: No, actually.

Q: Any problems at school?
A: Not really. She has a pretty much normal life-style.

Q: Then why does she act so cold and uncaring in The World and then try to act that way IRL?
A: Because she wants to. No, I'm not trying to be funny. Shiiro wants to be something she's not, because she believes that that something she's not is better.

Q: Is Shiiro a bad person?
A: No. Shiiro is actually a very sensitive, caring person. She cares about Dei, and her family, even though she doesn't always show it. And, in all truth and honesty, her being a sensitive person is the very reason she wants to become the character she plays in The World. She thinks that being sensitive makes her weak and she doesn't want that. But, on the inside, she's no different from how she always was.

Last one:
Q: Is Shiiro going to be featured in any fanfiction series?
A: Yes. .hack//SUNRISE, by Spike, with Dei and the main character, Izuka.

G'bye! ^_^
Keep My Secret?

Thursday, August 28th, 2003

Time:5:01 pm.
Mood: cynical.
Music:Simple Moves--t.A.T.u..
YOU
[name] Bianca
[age] 14. Just turned. ^_^
[location] In your undies
[gender] Female
[occupation] Dork

FAMILY
[siblings] 2 sisters that I don't know
[mom or dad] Dad
[pet/s] Omar, my dog. Too many dead pets too name
[steps] 2 sisters that I dun know

FRIENDS
[pick 8]
[$] Tashara
[$] Kelly
[$] Emily
[$] Cami
[$] Tiffany
[$] Spike
[$] Brittney
[8] Emma

MUSIC
[type] All
[favorite artist] Group: t.A.T.u. Single: Pink
[pick 8/besides current]
[@]Evanescence
[@]Utada Hikaru
[@]BoA
[@]Avril Lavinge
[@]Good Charlotte
[@]Linkin Park
[@]Do As Infinity
[8]Kiss

LOVE LIFE
[dating]No
[single/taken]Single
[special someone]My friends. All of them. But I suppose Kelly mostly since I've had so many of her kids.
[you would like to meet] Kelly, Emily, Cami.
[dry hump]Erika
[hug]Yes
[kiss]Yes
[make out]No
[doggy style]No o_o;
[married]No
[baby]Yes. I already have like 50

STUCK ON AN ISLAND
[4 friends]
[&]Tashara
[&]Kelly
[&]Spike
[4]Emily
[3 foods]
[^]Gum
[^]Icecream
[3]Anything else that's sweet
[clothing]
[!]Bra
[!]Underwear
[4 extra items]
[-]Computer
[-]Radio
[-]Toothbrush
[4]Toilet

YES OR NO
[drugs]No
[smoke]No
[drink]No

ONE OR ANOTHER
[tv/computer]Computer
[read/write]Both
[pants/skirts]Pants
[long/short]Long
[up/down]Down
[big/small]Big ^~;
[high/low]High
[food/drink]Food
[color/draw]Draw
[paint/marker]Paint
[school/work]School
[bike/skate]Bike
[hair/shaved head]Hair
[car/motercycle]Motercycle
[math/science]Science
[gym/art]Art
[swim/dance]Swim
[J/S]J
[7/23]23
[4/20]4
[website/journal]Both
[cute/sexy]Sexy
[nice/smart]Nice
[low profile/high profile]Low Profile
[picky/anything]Anything
[here/there]There

COULD CARE LESS ABOUT
[in a person]
[`]Choice of clothing
[`]Voice
[`]Money
[`]House
[`]Family
[`]Talent
[`]Shyness
[`]Nothing else
[`]Nothing else

TURN OFFS
[pick 5]
[+]Aggressive-ness
[+]Rude-ness
[+]Stupidity
[+]Drug use
[5]Alchohol use

[]D [] []V[]
Keep My Secret?

Friday, August 8th, 2003

Time:9:01 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
Music:Mya--Whatever Bitch.
First Name: Bianca
Middle name: Monay
Last name: Rawlings
Location: In your pants oo;
School Mascot/Colors: Mustang, blue and gold
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Shoe Size: 6 1/2 to a 7
Height: 4'9
Pets: 1 dog, Omar
Siblings: 2 sisters that I don't know
Eye color: Dark brown
Hair color: Very, VERY dark brown. But I just say black >_>;
Hobbies: RPing, reading, watching anime, doing stupid crap.
Nicknames: BB, B, Bebz, Bebberz, Bee Bee, Pansy, Tenna, Shiro, Idiot, Immature, Hey, Little girl.
What languages do you speak? English and some japanese
Do you play sports? -bursts into laughter- Wait...eh? Oh...no.
Where were you born? In a hospital.
Are you a night or a morning person? Night.
Are you ticklish? FUCK YOU!!
Do you believe in God? I believe your Mama has a sweet ass. >_>; No.

-Getting Personal-
What do you want to be when you grow up? A hobo.
What was the worst day of your life? The day I met you.
What is your most embarrassing story? ...The day I said hi to you.
What has been the best day of your life? The day I stabbed you to death with a spork
What comes first in your life? My computer.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No.
What are you most scared of? Your face.
If you had an extra set of eyes were would you put them? On my ass.

-Favorites-
Movie: The Nightmare Before Christmas, X, The League of Extrodinary Gentlemen
Song: Bring Me To Life, Evanescence and Colors, Utada Hikaru
Band/Group: Evanescence, t.A.T.u.
Store: Hot Topic
Restaurant: Don't have one
Relative: TaShara
Sport: ....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH...oh...none.
Vacation Spot: Yah mama's house.
Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate or Vanilla.
Fruit: Apples.
Candy: Mint Skittles and Gum
Car: Beetle
Class: Reading and Language Arts.
Holiday: Christmas....and my birthday.
Day of the Week: Saturday
Color: Black or grey
Magazine: None.

-In The Past 24 Hours, Have You-
Had a serious talk? Yes.
Hugged someone? Yes.
Fought with a friend? Damn straight! I KNOCKED THAT BIZATCH OUT O__________O;
Cried? Yes.
Laughed? Yes.
Made someone laugh? Yes.
Bought something? No.
Cut your hair? No.
Felt stupid? Yes.
Talked to someone you love? Yes.
Missed someone? No.

-Have You Ever-
Done drugs? 'Course. I get high every weekend? Nah, not really >_>; But I would if I could.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos? Yep. Mmm...
Been dumped? No.
Had someone be unfaithful to you? Yes. I know TaShara's been eating my food behind my back!! OO;
Watched Punky Brewster? What the fuck is that?
Hiked a mountain? Black people don't hike mountains, honey. We smoke'em!!
Stayed home on Saturday night, just because? That's my regular routine.
Been in love? No.
Seen the White House? IT'S BECAUSE I'M BLACK, ISN'T IT?!?!
Seen the Eiffel Tower? On a postcard.
Tried smoking? Once. By accident.
Drank alcohol? Martini! And some beer o_o;
Smoked marijuana? Sure have. Have you? (not really >_>; )
Played Monopoly? Yes. I hate that game.
Seen Titanic? I hate how she says "I'll never let go, Jack!" and then she lets go. >_<; But, yeah, I've seen it.
Kissed someone? Yes.
French kissed someone? Yes.
Lost your virginity? It's still dere.
Jumped on a trampoline? Yes.
Visited another country? I wanna be Japanese, Mama. No.
Colored in a coloring book? I LOVE coloring books.
Had a bubble bath? Yes.
Been on a plane? Uh huh. "WE'RE GOING WARP SPEED, MAMA!"~ Me on my first plane ride
Been on a train? No. The conductors are freaks.
Been in a car accident? Once.
Ridden an elephant? In a dreaaaaaaaaaaam...
Made a webpage? Uh huh. More than I should of.
Played with Barbies ? Yes. After stripping them and ripping their heads off.
Stayed up all night? Uh huh.
Shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean ? Yes. And under the dressers.
Called a psychic or sex hotline? Yes. Just because/ XD
Watched Jerry Springer? Every chance I get!! =DDD
Gotten in trouble for talking in class? Every day.
Been afraid of the dark? Yes. I still kinda am o_o;
Been in the hospital (not visiting)? Yes.
Had stitches? No.
Dumped someone and regretted it? No.
Went out with more than one person at a time? No.
Lied? Oh, God, yes.
Been arrested? No.
Fallen asleep in class? Once or twice.
Used food for something other than to eat? Yes...In disturbing ways.
Met a celebrity? Some dude that was in a comic I bought though I don't know if he counts.
Broken the law? I once stole some gum from the corner store.
Ever loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes.
Hated yourself? Yes.
Been brokenhearted? No.
Broken someone's heart? I don't think so.

-Do You-
Like to give hugs? TaShara is annoyed by it.
Like to walk in the rain? Rain is goooood.
Sleep with or without clothes on? Sometimes.
Prefer black or blue pens? Yes.
Dress up on Halloween? YES!
Have a job? Nope.
Like to travel? Some.
Like someone? Your mama.
Sleep on your side, tummy or back? Side and back.
Think your attractive? No.
Want to marry? To your mama, yeah.
Have a goldfish? I did...but I ate one and the other one just died.
Ever have the falling dream? No.
Have stuffed animals? Yes.
Go on vacation? To Maryland, a lot.

-What Do You Think About-
Abortion: If nessecary and the person having the baby isn't capable of taking care of it and REALLY doesn't want to put it up for adoption. Or if it has to do with rape.
Bill Clinton: Can kiss my ass.
Smoking: Is bad.
Rap: ROCKS MY SOCKS OO; Long strokes, I use mah hand! Short strokes, I use mah hand!
Jerry Springer: IS *AWESOME*!!!
Suicide: Only when nessecary. >_>;; Though, I wanna commit sucide. F*** you.
South Park: Awesome. XD
Summer: The best time of da year.
Tattoos: Mmm...t.A.T.u. Oh, and I want a tattoo, too.
Piercings: Are cool.
Makeup: Sometimes annoys me.
Drinking: Isn't a good thing. Stop doing it. Fuckers.
Guys: Are fucktards. It'd be so easy if the entire world was gay.
Girls: Own you. But some are bitches...conceited. Depends on who they are.

-Who Do You Think Of When You Hear This Name-
Jennifer: Lopez. She makes me sick.
Lindsey: A kinky hooker.
Megan: Emily's friend.
Brandon: A Yue that I once dated online.
Christina: Kinky.
Angela: A little girl. Dunno why.
Courtney: Grippling. From As Told By Ginger.
Jeff: The alien with the flower on his head in MIB II that looks like TaShara's dog.
Mike: Some 10 year old.
Nikki: The dubbed version or Naoko from CCS.
Derek: Some dude.
Lisa: My 7th grade reading and language arts teacher.
Kristi: Someone hott.
Matt: Dubbed version of Yamato from Digimon.
Holly: Some Christian chick.
Jackie: Chan.
Caroline: From Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry.
Elaine: Some old lady.
Patrick: Star.
Erin: Elmo.

-This or That-
Pierced nose or tongue? Tounge.
Be serious or funny? Funny
Single or taken? Single
Simple or Complicated? Simple.
Law or anarchy? Anarchy.
MTV or VH1? MTV
7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek? They both suck.
Sugar or salt? Salt.
Silver or gold? Silver.
Tongue or belly button ring? Tounge
Chocolate or flowers? Chocolate.
Angels or miracles? Miracles.
Color or black-and-white photos? ....IT'S BECAUSE I'M BLACK, ISN'T IT?!?!
Sunrise/sunset? Sunrise.
M&M's or Skittles? SKITTLES =DDDD
Rap or Rock? Rock
Stay up late or sleep in? Sleep in.
TV or radio? Radio
Hot or cold? Hot
Sun or moon? Moon
Diamond or Ruby? Ruby.
Left or Right? Right
10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 Best Friend. -hugs Shara-
Vanilla or chocolate? I kinda like Vanilla more.
Kids or not? Hell no.
Cat or dog? Dog. Though, I DO want a cat.
is the glass Half empty or half full? Half full.
Mustard or ketchup? Mustard.
Newspaper or magazine? Magazine
Spring or Fall? Fall.
Give or receive? Both.
Rain or snow? Snow.
Lace or satin? Satin.
A year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? Both. XP
Happy or sad? Happy
Corduroy or plaid? Plaid.
Wonder or amazement? Amazement.
Sneakers or sandals? Sneakers.
McDonald's or Burger King? McDonalds.
Blondes or brunettes? Blondes.
Mexican or Italian food? Italian.
Lights on or off? Off.
Duct tape or scotch tape? Duct Tape
Candy or soda? Candy
A house in the woods or the city? Woods
Pepsi or Coke? Pepsi
Nike or ADIDAS? Neither.
Keep My Secret?

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003

Subject:S-U-R-V-E-Y!!
Time:3:00 pm.
Mood: exanimate.
Music:Bleeds No More--Silverstein.
1. Your Name: Bianca
2. Your Nickname: BB, B, Shiro, Bebberz, Bebz, Boob, Tenna
3. Your Birthday: August 22
4. Your Age Now: 13
5. School Grade: Yoh Mama
6. Sex: Tranvestite >_>;
7. Zodiac Sign: Leo

// AbOuT mE //
1. Hair Color: Dark, DARK brown
2. Eye color: Dark brown
3. Skin color: Brown XX;
4. Height: 4'9. I'm a midget
5. Shoe size: 6
6. Do you care about the way you look?: Now and then
7. Do you go tanning?: No, I'm brown enough.
8. Do you have big ears?: Yes. I get it from my dad XD
9. Do you have contacts or glasses?: No, but I need either.

Have I ever...
1. Eaten an entire box of Oreo's?: Sure have. Mmm...oreos...
2. Gotten in a car accident?: Once. Went into a coma
3. Watched "Punky Brewster"?: Wtf?
4. Hiked a mountain?: No. My body is to physically inept.
5. Death Valley on horseback?: I wish
6. Stayed home on a Saturday night just because?: Every damn day.

// YOUR ROOM, WAKING UP //
01. What color are your walls? White.
02. What color is your bedspread/sheets? Purple
03. What color is your rug? Brown
04. Any posters/bulletin boards/designs in your room? Avril poster.
05. Do you have a TV? Two, one doesn't work and the other doesn't have cable
06. Do you have a phone? No.
07. Do you have your own computer? Sure do. Not in my room, though XD
08. Do you have a desk? For my computer...it's not in my room, though.
09. What are your most treasured belongings in your room? My lava lamp XP
10. What are your most favorite things in your room? Lava lamp
11. Do you have any fancy lights in your room? Lava lamp? >_>;

// GETTING READY //
01. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Try to go back to sleep.
02. Anything unusual? The strange, lump headed man under my pillow.
03. Do you pick out your clothes the night before school? No.
04. Do you try your best to look good for school? No. I wear pajamas to school >_>; Why change? You're just gonna get back in'em.

// SCHOOL //
01. What color is your backpack? Purple.
02. you try your best when it comes to school work? Sometimes.
03. Do you listen or doodle? Both.
04. BE QUIET - we all know you doodle, but what do you doodle? Kiree, Kiroro, Jax, Shiro..and random crap.
05. Do you eat your cafeteria food, or go out? Cafeteria food. --;
06. What do you do right when schools over? Go on the computer.

// HOME //
When you come home are you. . .
01. Miserable? Yes.
02. Happy? Yes.
03. Tired? Yes.
04. LEAVE ME ALONE? Yes.

// OTHER //
01. Do you take walks around your neighborhood sometimes? No.
02. Some hobbies of yours? Downloading, RPing, lusting after Des, Emily and Spike. Ya know, the usual.
03. Do you collect anything? Website URLs >_>;
04. What do you do in your spare time? Surf da net.
05. Are you in love, or at least falling? No.

// NIGHT TIME //
01. What do you do before you go to bed? Get off of the computer
02. Do you kiss your parents/guardians goodnight, or just say "goodnight"? Depends.
03. What way do you sleep (ex: on your side, tummy, etc.)? Like a hurricane. There are no survivors. I'm suprised my bed is still in tact.
04. Do you like your life? Sometimes/

//In the past week have i...?//

1. Cried?: Yes.
3. Cut your hair?: No.
4. Worn a skirt?: No.
5. Worn a tie?: Yes.
6. Been mean?: Damn straight.
7. Been sarcastic?: Yeah.
8. Gone for a walk?: No.
9. Gone out for dinner?: No.
10. Met someone new?: Yes.
11. Taken a test?: Yes.
12. Talked to an ex: No.
13. Missed an ex?: Yes.
14. Hugged someone?: Yes.
15. Kissed someone?: Yes.
16. Danced with someone?: Myself.
17. Had a nightmare?: Yes.
18. Fought with your parents?: Verbally, yes.
1 Kept It | Keep My Secret?

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003

Subject:Enishi-ness!
Time:3:53 pm.
Mood: awake.
Music:Miss Independant--Kelly Clarkson.
Behold the Enishi-ness! We all love Enishi. By "all" I mean, everyone who's cool. You're not cool if you don't love Enishi. Un-cool people aren't allowed to read my journal. Un-cool people suck ass. I'm un-cool..But I love Enishi, so that makes me cool. Yes, I am a fucking idiot. XP

Emily just went off. Damn her to hell. Des is away. I'm bored. I need Enishi/Tomoe RP. Incest is best. I'm bored and dying. I want to update my uJournal layout but the site is down. It's gonna be all Kenshin/Tomoe like. Sorry, Enishi. ^^;

Stomach hurting..Cramps bad. Damn Eve and her need for apples...

Yukishiro Enishi Fan #5,486,546,986,988
Keep My Secret?

Friday, July 18th, 2003

Subject:Another Day, Another Survey
Time:9:59 pm.
Mood: sad.
Music:It's About Time--Lillix.
I made a new Blurty: http://www.blurty.com/users/twinblade

[Name] Bianca R.
[Birthday] August 22, 1989
[Zodiac sign] Leo
[Sex] Female

LAST PERSON WHO...
[Slept in your bed] Me and my stuffed animals
[Saw you cry] Mah mom.
[Made you cry] Mah mom.
[Spend the night at your house] My cousins. ....during Spring....
[You shared a drink with] No one.
[You went to the movies with] Tierra.
[You went to the mall with] Tierra.
[Yelled at you] Mom.
[Sent you an email] Emily.
[Said they were going to kill you] Emily XD She tells me that alot.

HAVE YOU EVER...
[Said "I love you" and meant it?] Yes.
[Gotten into a fight with your doggy/walrus/bird/fish/etc.] Sure have XD
[Been to New York?] No.
[Been to Florida?] Yes.
[California?] No.
[Hawaii?] No.
[Mexico?] No.
[China?] No.
[Canada?] No.
[Danced naked?] Every day.
[Dreamed something really crazy and then it happens the next day?] No.
[Stalked someone?] More times than I can count.
[Had a mud bath?] No.
[Wished you were the opposite sex?] Oh, god, yes.
[Had an imaginary friend?] Yes. -sniff- I miss you, GiGi...

[Apples or bananas?] Apples
[Red or blue?] Blue
[Walmart or Kmart?] Walmart
[Santa or Rudolph?] Rudolph. Santa is a perv.
[Math or English?] English
[radio or CD?] CD
[up or down?] Down.
[drawing or painting?] Drawing
[High school or college?] High School

[What are you going to do after you finish this survey?] Suck air and look stupid.
[What was the last food you ate?] Chicken.
[you bored?] No.
[How many buddies are on?] Three.
Last movie you saw?] Holes.
[Last noise you heard?] Myself typing.

ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS - WHO...
[Laughs the weirdest?] Spike.
[Will grow up and be a model?] Kelly.
[Going to have the most kids?] Kelly. She has strong sperm.
[Have you known the longest?] Tashara.
[Is the loudest?] Emily.
[Is the quietest?] Cami.
[Do you have the most classes with?] I don't go to school with any of them.
[Is the weirdest?] Spike.
[Is the funniest?] Emily.
[Is the moodiest?] Kelly.
[Can you tell most of your secrets to?] Emily and Tashara
[Do you usually go to about all of your problems?] Emily and Des.
THE LAST FEW QUESTIONS...
[Last time you went out of the state] Spring, to Maryland.
[Lucky number] 4
[Things you like in a girl/guy?] Good sense of humour, someone I can trust.
[Weirdest thing about you?] The thing I do with my lips.
[Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?] No.
[What's his/her name?] ______
[What do you think of quija boards?] I TALKED TO MY DEAD GRANDFATHER ON ONE OF THOSE THINGS O___O;
[What book are you reading now?] The new HP book.
[What's on your mouse pad?] Dun have one.
[Favorite board game?] Don't have one.
[Favorite magazine?] None.
[Favorite sound?] Myself typing.
[Worst feeling in the world?] Lonliness.
[What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning?] What time is it?
[Do you like scary or exciting rollercoasters] Exciting.
[How many rings before you answer?] 2
[Future daughter's name?] I won't have any children. I already have like..50.. Jennifer is a dead-beat dad. Unlike Des and Emily.
[Future son's name?] FUCK YOU!
[Chocolate or vanilla?] Vanilla
[Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?] Yes.
[If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be?] Crack addict.
[wat is your favorite snapple?] Your mother.
[Are you a lefty, righty or ambidextrous?] Righty.
[Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?] No.
[What's under your bed?] Everything.


I miss GiGi. ;_; She was my imaginary friend...Must make my journal dedicated to her one day. --;
Keep My Secret?

Thursday, July 17th, 2003

Subject:Surveeeey...
Time:6:28 pm.
Mood: exhausted.
Music:Rise and Fall--Craig David ft. Sting.
Who was the last person...
[?] You touched? Mom
[?] You talked to? Myself
[?] you hugged? Mom
[?] you instant messaged? Tiffany
[?] You laughed with? Tiffany
[?] You cried about? No one.
[?] You cried with? No one. I never cry wit people oo;
[?] You kissed? Mah hand.
[?] You danced with? Mahself.
[?] You punched? My shitty computer. --;
[?] You bought something for? My mom. I bought her a birthday present(she's actually my gramma). She's almost sixty and she still ain't dead, DAMNYay! ^^;;
[?] You had sex with? Your mother. >_>;


Have you/are you/do you...
[?] Have tattoos? Stick-ons XP
[?] Piercings? Ears. One on each.
[?] Own a webcam? Nope. But I want one.
[?] Ever get off the damn computer? No, what's it to ya? -hiss-
[?] Sprechen sie deutsche? FUCK YOU! SAY THAT TO MY FACE, PUNK!!
[?] Habla espanol? BRING IT ON, HOE! >_>;
[?] Ever broke the law? I once stole some gum from the Corner Store..
[?] Hot? I'm not, you are. ^.~;
[?] kissed a boy/girl? Yes, both.

Currents...
[?] Current Clothes: An undershirt and some boxars that I bought because I thought they'd be comfy. I was right XP
[?] Current Hair: Haven't combed it so I have a mini-fro..Dark, DARK brown..almost black.
[?] Current Annoyance: The fact that time is passing so fast.
[?] Current thing you ought to be doing: Taking a shower.
[?] Current Desktop Picture: Soujiro
[?] Current Favorite Group: Evanescence
[?] Current movie In DVD: The Ring
[?] Current Refreshment: Orange Soda
[?] Current Worry: That I won't get enough sleep tonight
[?] Current Crush: -shoots you-
[?] Current Music: "Rise and Fall"~Craig David ft. Sting
[?] Current fear: Not getting enough sleep tonight

On Dating...
[?] Long or short hair? Girls, long. Boys, short.
[?] Dark or blond hair? Either is fine.
[?] Tall or short? Taller than me but not TOO taller. -is short as hell-
[?] Sensitive or Funny? Both.
[?] Good or bad? Bad.
[?] Dark or light eyes? Either.
[?] Hat or no hat? No hat.
[?] Pierced or no? Pierced.
[?] Freckles or none? Don't care.

A - Act your age?: No.
B - Born on what day of the week?: -shrug- Bloopday? >_>;
C - Chore you hate?: Cleaning my own room.
D - Dad's name?: Robert
E - Essential makeup item?: None.
F - Favorite actor(s)?: None.
G - Gold or silver?: Silver.
H - Hometown?: Franklin.
I - Instruments you play?: Clarinet.
J - Job title?: Unemployed
K - Kids?: Yes. Jennifer is a dead-beat dad unlike Kelly..She takes care of her babies! XP
L - Living arrangements?: My gramma, my dad, and my two uncled.
M - Mom's name?: Susan
N - Number of people you've slept with?: No people. Just teddy bears >_>;
O - Overnight hospital stays?: 5.
P - Phobia?: None.
Q - Quote you like?: "IT WON'T GO..AWAY...YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW BADLY THAT THING SCARES ME....
IT HAUNTS ME! LOOK AT IT! FUCKIN'...JUST FUCKIN' LOOK AT IT! IT'S WORSE THAN THE DEVIL.. IT'S WORSE THAN REALITY T.V. SHOWS. WORSE THAN THUNDER AND LIGHTNING. IT'S WORSE THAN HERMIONE AND DRACO COUPLING. IT'S WORSE THAN... THAN SAMARA DYING HER HAIR RED! THAT'S WORSE THAN..... THAN DRINKING COKE OUT OF A PEPSI BOTTLE! THAT IS WORSE THAN NOOOOO THOMAS FUCKIN' ANDREW FELTON NEVER EXISTING!! THIS, BIANCA, IS THE WORST FUCKING THING IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!!! AND IT'S ON MINE AND YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER SCREEN RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOWW!!!! THAT IS THE ULTIMATE SPAWN OF EEEEEEEEVIL!!! THAT IS WHAT REALLY RESIDES IN HELL!!! NO DEVIL, NO RICHARD SIMMONS, NO RED-HAIRED SAMARA'S. HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!!!! THERE IS NO STOPPING IT!!! IT SHALL NEVER STOOOOOP!!! UNLESS YOU MAKE A COPY..wait...no...IT NEVER STOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"~Des
R - Religious affiliation?: None.
S - Siblings?: Two younger sisters but I don't know them.
T - Time you wake up?: I didn't sleep.
U - Unique habit?: Doing this funny thing with my lips.
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat?: None.
W - Worst habit?: The lip thing
X - X-rays you've had?: 2
Y - Yummy food you make?: Ramen.
Z - Zodiac Sign?: Leo.

"You...remarkably...made it rain blood.."~Yukishiro Tomoe; First RK Ova

Hitokiri Battousai
Keep My Secret?

Wednesday, July 16th, 2003

Subject:Woot...
Time:11:26 pm.
Mood: thirsty.
Music:Change The World--V6.
I wanna do a survey...I's bored. Got to go to bed soon. I went swimming today; finally. --;

Bye..

"You...remarkably...made it rain blood.."~Yukishiro Tomoe; First RK Ova

Hitokiri Battousai
Keep My Secret?

Tuesday, July 15th, 2003

Subject:Wee...
Time:10:01 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
Music:Let Me Be With You--Chobits.
Brian from next door is here and i'm RPing with Emily. Soujiro/Tsukasa-ness ROCKS! Enishi/Tomoe is fuuuun. Brian is leaving now. Samurai Jack is on. -sticks her tounge out all --; like- Anyway! Behold the Battousai-ness!! I luff my icon. 'Tis lovely. Wish I could make icons like dat.. ><; I drawed Kiree and Kiroro today. I luffs dem. Emily says that Chou rocks. I agree. I'm off!

"You...remarkably...made it rain blood.."~Yukishiro Tomoe; First RK Ova

Hitokiri Battousai
Keep My Secret?

Blurty for Warped Aura.

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