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[11.10.03»10:09am] « mood | apathetic » « music | Vertical Horizon You're a God » I've got to be honest I think you know We're covered in lies and that's OK There's somewhere beyond this I know But I hope I can find the words to say Never again no No never again Chorus: 'Cause you're a god And I am not And I just thought That you would know You're a god And I am not And I just thought I'd let you go But I've been unable To put you down I'm still learning things I ought to know by now It's under the table so I need something more to show somehow Never again no No never again Chorus I've got to be honest I think you know We're covered in lies and that's OK There's somewhere beyond this I know But I hope I can find the words to say Never again no No never again i miss someone. i miss his voice. i miss his laugh. i miss how we talk. i miss the love in my heart that has now been replaced by aching. i miss his kisses. i miss his moans. i miss his sighs. i miss him. I never thought that I would fuck up something that good, but I've realized that I never thought I could fuck up a lot of things that I have fucked up. My birthday was okay, the concert was awesome except for the guys trying to pick me and my friend up. I think I almost hurled on one of them. I cried on my birthday. I don't know why. I didn't want to talk or see anyone. I just laid in my room and cried about stupid things. Things that I don't have control over and things that I do have control over. I don't think that anyone could have assuaged me either. Katelyn and her boyfriend came over late that night and tried to get me to go to some party that they had been planning. After a while, they told me about how it was a surprise party, and that I really needed to go. I know I pissed her off when I just wouldn't go, but I couldn't go in the condition that I was in. I don't think anyone should bother anyone when they are in that bad of a mood where you say happy birthday and they burst into tears. I bought a Smile Empty Soul tee-shirt and a Slumber Party tee this weekend. There were these jeans that I wanted to buy, but then I wanted this old Who album so I went and bought that instead. Jimmy came over on my birthday, too, but we just watched Finding Nemo and ate pizza and laughed. He's becoming my new best friend, and that's awesome because my other best friends have boyfriends. Jimmy doesn't have a boyfriend...haha, nor would he have one since he's straight. But seriously, we had a good time, and I think he's starting to like me or something or he does like me or maybe I'm just being a stupid girl. I don't want him to like me though. My mind is too muddled for it. When Megan and I went to the concert, all of these old guys were like rubbing up on us, and we were like, uh, get off. I mean they were probably like 22, but they looked so old and drunk it was bad. There were a couple hotties, but I gave off the 'i have a boyfriend' vibe because I still don't know where things are with Eddie. I probably shouldn't even worry about it. Who knows.... Ummmmm, I don't have anything else to say besides the fact that I need to get started on my paper. 4 fell down on their knees, crying.

very merry unbirthday [10.29.03»01:02pm] welllll okay. Some funny things that happened today... 1. girl in stall next to me couldn't flush her own shit, so she had to flush it like 5 million times, don't know why, maybe because she's a retard. 2. me and my friend megan were sitting outside chik-fil-a in the student union, people watching, when we started making up songs for the way people walk. 3. I yelled "Can I Lick Your Pussy?!" really loud when people were walking by to embarrass Megan....It worked. 4. Some girl walked up to the hot guys next to us who we were thinking about asking to walk us to our next class and asked them to watch her stuffed pink little pig. When she left, we all exchanged weird glances, and then they said that she had asked for them to watch her pig. Then, another girl came and tried to take away the pig...needless to say, it was a stupid practical joke that was so obvious, me and megan labeled it as a pickup trick because both of them thought it would be cute and then she sat down to talk to the guys, who weren't really interested. We wouldn't let her take the pig though, she tried, and failed, and then the other girl walked up, who looked like she hadn't showered in days...and asked for the pig back. 5. Me and Megan pretended to fight on our way to class, and everyone was asking me if I was okay in my 3rd class because of it. It was really funny to me. 6. I bumped megan into this nerdy guy who looked like he was happy he got to feel her boob press against him. LMFAO..that was funny. 7. I don't have anything else that was really funny to me except for when I ALMOST fell on the way to class because my flip flops got stuck in the wood of the dock that you walk from the student union to the Classroom buillding. It was very odd, but some guy asked me if I was alright later. I'm going to halloween horror nights this weekend with Katie. We got express passes and I think we're meeting up with Dylan and Josh there, maybe Crystal and Sammy, but who knows. There's a Thursday and Thrice concert that I missed and that makes me very sad. I'm going to Smile empty Soul in a week, so that makes happy. --yay-- Okay well I need comments on the new layout too.. <3 ramones 1 fell down on their knees, crying.

[10.22.03»12:02pm] hi so i'm never going to be around anymore, so just letting you know as this journal is about to go down in the dumps. Eddie, we don't talk anymore and i wish we hadn't stopped talking but i guess everything has been lost by now, and ya you're a *nice boy*, too. I'll see you all around sometime. bye......... 5 fell down on their knees, crying.

[10.3.03»06:28pm] anyone want to make me some icons? lol....just blank ones...and maybe a little decoration? 2 fell down on their knees, crying.

[10.2.03»01:25pm] « mood | exanimate » « music | Colorblind .;. Blur » I got home at 10:00, I was asleep by 10:30. I'm sorry if you called, but no one woke up and I didn't hear the phone ring, so I'm guessing you didn't call, which sucks for me. I'm at school, posting a discussion topic and hoping that someone will get back to me to get together to study for my big gov't test tomorrow. Its probably going to suck some ass because i've never taken any notes and all I have is my book. I just pay attention in class and read and I hope that I can actually make a good grade. I still haven't gotten my grades back for the test I took in Anthropology, which probably sucked even though I thought I did. i'm very pessimistic, and if I was on the verge of crying, I'd consider it emo, but since I'm just apathetic, I'm just loving today. It's shitty outside and it's shitty in here. Guess where here is. I don't know, I'm tired of being depressed. My mom is about to go bankrupt, and i'm trying to get a job,but it's really hard since my car doesn't work and my mom has to take me everyhwere. That means I have to work on campus, which means there are a few select jobs because no one is hiring on campus BECAUSE EVERY COLLEGE KID NEEDS FUCKING MONEY...God, but I need it more. I NEED IT MORE!!!! -cries- K, now i'm emo. My mom seriously told me that I needed to see a doctor for my depression. Isn't that great? She thinks that I can get some sort of medication and then be put on disability, which will give her money. I love my mom and how she thinks. I'm really thinking that she's going to put a life insurance policy on me and then kill me some discreet way. Isn't that a pleasant thought? I wouldn't put it past her. Money does some fucked up shit to people, even to my own mom. All of my friends are really pissed off at me too. I don't have any money to go to HalloweenHorror Nights, which is great becuase i'm missing another two of my friends birthdays. And Thursday and Thrice is coming to Orlando in October...yep can't go to that...nor can I go to 311....or alien ant form orrrrr eve 6 or any of the cool concerts that will be here in the next two months. I'm rejoicing....-rejoices with my tears- mk....yes....so thanks for being blurty people who can't help out my real life problems, I wish you could come here and give me a hug because as of now I have like 3 friends...and after they take up a collection for me for my own birthday in November when I haven't done shit for them for their birthdays---i'm sure I'll lose them too. Mk. Well. YAY IM EMO!!! HOORAH. bye. crying.

The Candy Survey [10.1.03»09:11am] « music | Bedroom Dancing - Day one » Chocolate 1. What's your favorite chocolate candy? hmmm.....I like Rolos. 2. Caramel or cookie or peanut butter inside? CARAMEL MMM. 3. Dark or milk chocolate? milk 4. How do you eat a Reeses? i nibble around the edge, then eat the rest... 5. When eating a Twix or a Kit Kat, do you eat it whole or nibble the chocolate off? i'm a nibbler! 6. If you could make a chocolate candy, what type would it be, what would it have in it, and what would you call it? It would be like a Crunch bar, but it would have caramel in it....and I would name it Eddy! ;x Hard Candy 1. What's your favorite type of hard candy? jolly ranchers are good 2. Blowpops or Jolly Rancher lollipops? blowpops.... 3. What's your favorite Ringpop? strawberry or watermelon 4. Sour or sweet or both? sweet! 5. Suck or lick? that's a naughty question...both?? ;x 6. If could make a hard candy, would it be a creamsaver type, lifesaver type, and would it have anything on the inside, and what would be its flavor...and its name? lifesaver type, gum on the inside, strawberry caramel flavored and it would be named Eddy Chewy Candy [skittles, starbursts, gum, twizzlers etc] 1. What's your favorite type? starbursts 2. Original or Tropical or Wild Berry or Mint Skittles?tropical 3. What's your favorite type of gum? ummm bubbilicious strawberry mmm...i haven't had it in so long ;x 4. Original, Tropical, California, or Sour Starbursts? california 5. If you could make your own type of Chew Candy, what would it be, what would be the combination, and what's the name? it would be starbursts type, and it would be like strawberry kiwi with a splash of watermelon, and it's would be Eddy. Miscellaneous 1. Did you like those powder packets with the sticks? yea 2. Did you like trixie sticks? yea...I haven't had those in a while. 3. Did you ever snort or see anyone snort Trixie Stick powder? NO BUT I WATCHED SOMEONE DO IT...lmao...he cried! 4. What's your favorite cotton candy? pink kind? They're all the same I thought. 5. Did you ever dip your hard candy in soda or water to make it taste better? yea...it makes it taste better. 6. What goes best with candy? my boyfriend 7. AND WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY [chocolate, hard, chewy, gum, powder....] um I love blowpops....with gum on the inside the best. 1 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.29.03»02:56pm] i'm so fucking pissed. All of my classes were canceled today. Megan and Stepanie didn't come to school today, and when I called Megan, she was like--Oh I called you yesterdasy but you didn't pick up. Don't leave a message, megan...thanks...Yea today just sucks. Thanks for anyone and everyone who contributed to this being a bad day too. 3 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.29.03»12:06pm] « mood | amused » « music | Linkin Park .:. Apart of Me » yadda yadda ( fuck this ) 5 fell down on their knees, crying.

monday morning. [9.29.03»08:34am] « mood | cranky » « music | CD PLAYERS ROCK: Linkin Park .:. My December » mk....A few things.... EDDY--I don't have the internet at my house. The only way I can talk to you is through here. My mom is having problems with her employees right now, and I have to help her with her work. Friday afternoon around 5:30, my mom picked me up from ucf....we went to her job.....she had forgotten the keys to the office, so we had to wait until her boyfriend went home and got them. When we started it was 7:00 PM....We didn't get done with that stupid office until 10:00 PM...I went home--you block your number, so it's not like I can call you.....and I was pissed too. I knew you would be mad at me all weekend because my mom was going to the beach for the weekend and I didn't have a car to go to the library and then....this is going to sound retarded---but I poked myself in my eye Friday Night while I was typing a term paper....and I did it so hard that it is still hurting and watering right now....so I didn't go anywhere all weekend because of my swollen eye and then as soon as I got to school I sat down to right you this so you would forgive me. I don't know what you want to do....you want to give up, then okay....If I had your number--it would've been a different story Friday Night...but I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't want me calling your house with your parents around and everything....so...I love you, but if this is too complicated--then as much as I would try to continue it--you can end it. For everyone else.....I had a bad weekend. I stayed at home and read and studied and wrote papers and typed up quizzes. Yea, I poked myself in the eye Friday Night with the end of my nail and i'm pretty sure I ruptured a capillary because it still hurts and it still looks red and gruesome. I made some new icons on my computer, and I brought them in on a floppy so you guys could see them. Some were made in an anticipation of ...well...we'll figure it out, he knows. anyway....I have to go to class now...I'm late as per usual...and I think I have a test in sociology today....Isn't that just dandy?! 2 fell down on their knees, crying.

another surveyyyyyyy [9.26.03»11:20am] YOUR NAME (1) The singular boring question: What is your name? Cyn...it's not so boring anymore ;x (2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?: Bradley (3) Would you name a child of yours after you? erm no (4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with? Trisha (5) What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? Adams...isn't really hard. (6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)? Yea...Cyns good by itself =}~ DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS (7) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? not really (8) Do you think God has a gender? ....I believe in something bigger than us, I dont necesarily believe in god (9) Do you think science counteracts religion? yes (10) Do you believe in organized religion? no (11) Where do you think we go when we die? somewhere peaceful, or somewhere frustrating (12) Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section? nope HUMOR (13) How easy is it to make you laugh? pretty easy, i end up making people laugh though (14) What person you know makes you laugh the most? Katie roflmao...we can laugh until 5 in the morning....eddy's funny with his little comments on sports..I LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU THINK VOLLEYBALL IS SUCH A GIRLS SPORT. (15) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't? yes (16) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't? yes (17) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile? roflmao, spoon, assmunch, pickles, fuckaroo, fuckwad (18) What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written? I do a lot of funny things, but this one time with katie, we took her camera and went cruising and i got these guys to take their clothes off and when we replayed the video camera...lmfao.....katie didn't like get the whole thing, but she mostly got my ass as i leaned over and shouted for them to take off their clothes--we always laugh at that. MUSIC (19) Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching? yes (20) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard? this country song, achy breaky heart, uhhhh yakisoba, chinese rap (21) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better? Fehrur Frei by Rammstien..I dunno German! (22) What song(s) are constantly in your head? Incubus songs, Jack Johnson, and that damn song Happy now by Michelle Branch--I DONT LIKE IT, BUT ITS IN MY HEAD! (23) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best? Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park, or Flake by Jack Johnson (24) If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use? Can't Take My Eyes Off of You by.......whoever its by (25) If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? I'll Be by Edward Mccain MOVIES (26) What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to? The Sandlot--old childhood favorite (27) Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original? sometimes... (28) Who's your favorite Star Wars character? Luke Skywalker ;/ (29) What kind of movie do you think there should be more of? ermmmmm........sex humor ones ;x (30) What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of? cheesy horror flicks...well i understand it, I just don't understand why people would go to that crap. FOOD (31) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? taste (32) What's your favorite kind of cheese? american (33) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality? I like CHEESE...god... (34) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it? lmfao.....probably =/ (35) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? nope. i'm not supopsed to eat it though..makes me sick ;/ COMPUTERS (36) Mac or PC? PC (37) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works? I care a lot actually...sucks that I don't know how to put them together (38) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation? lmao YES (39) Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone? yes ;/ (40) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later? never done the ebay schpeal THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES (41) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? erm sure why not (42) What do you love most about the other gender? ummmm they dont have....that....thing..that girls called the crimson terror...lmfao (43) What do you dislike most about the other gender? they are so cool and sexy! (44) What do you understand least about the other gender? Um....why they think its okay to pick their nose? lmfao. CELEBRITIES (45) Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? yes.... (46) What celebrity's autograph do you want most? ermmmm Josh hartnett (47) Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who? GOD ANY BLOND ONE....britney spears, tara reid, I get mandy moore and Julia Stiles alot though (48) If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)? ummm Tara Reid actually, she's like me--playful and sweet. (49) Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why? um no? (50) If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter? ummmmm Reese Witherspoon...because she's got it all. (51) Do you want to be John Malkovich? lmfao..no thanks. NUMBERS (52) Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? not really. (53) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question? lmao no (54) Do you actually know your Social Security Number? yes (55) Do you actually know your IP address? kinda (56) Do you know what an IP address is? yeah (57) Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code? yes (58) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives? yes (59) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.? GOD YES! THANKS! (60) What do you think of pi? 3.14..... LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT (61) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title? erm no, whatevah i'm down ;x (62) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? pick my nose probably lmfao (63) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"? yes (64) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member? yes (65) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? yea (66) What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? sucks....later...but its good when you're doing it (67) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? yes ;/ (68) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking? erm yes.....eddy does..thats all that matters (69) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? yea...doesn't look like i will have to...being that I have this great bf named eddy who gets me going emotioanlly and physically ;x (70) Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence? lmao....no POSSESSIONS (71) What is your favorite possession? my cell phone that doesn't work..it sjust pretty ;x (72) What physical, tangible possession do you want most? eddy ;/ (73) How badly do you want it? real bad (74) Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'? STOP IT I HATE YOU FOR ASKIGN THIS QUESTION (75) How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section? lame... HOLIDAYS (76) Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you? yea it kinda does (77) How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? 23 (78) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? i was a hobo when i was 5, i was cute! (79) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had? ugh my mom made this cat outfit for me...but it was ALL HAIRY...I JUST LOOKED LIKE AN OVERSIZED GORILLA! (80) What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning? erm.....mothers day, fathers day. (81) There are currently no federal holidays during August- what should be put there? give a present day! lmao MEMORIES (82) How good is your short-term memory? good (83) How good is your long-term memory? bad (84) What is your earliest memory? when i lived in sc for a while....my little kitten...something with a stolen turtle? (85) What is one of your happiest memory? um....when eddy asked me out actually...thats up there...any times with katie are pretty happy too (86) What is your strangest memory? this nightmare i had when i was little. (87) What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize? umm......something philosophical...so that i could really smart with quotes... TEARS (88) What movie makes/made you cry? ever after ;/ (89) What book makes/made you cry? umm the natural (90) What song makes/made you cry? iris by goo goo dolls (91) What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried? when i' maround katie THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS (92) Would you like to be cloned? cloneage bad (93) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it? eh no (94) Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango? gay gay and gayer THIS SURVEY (95) Do you think that one hundred and one questions is too long? not really (96) Do you think the one hundred interesting questions actually were interesting? i guess (97) Are you sorry you began filling it out? no because i'm bored (98) Who's the greatest guy on earth? Eddy (99) How would you have answered it? HELL YEAAAAAA THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS (100) When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them? today (101) What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? you kick my ass conan o brien style and i'm late to meet my friend because of this!! PZ!!! 2 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.26.03»08:54am] Heylo...its been a while....since I could say I loved myself as well...and it's been a while...since i've gone and fucked things up just like I always dooo....well its been a while, but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you===very true eddy! i love you......it was my friends birthday yesterday~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!! YOU'RE MY GIRL, AND I CANT BELIEVE I'M UP THIS EARLY!!!! WE HAD SUCH AN AWESOME TIME LAST NIGHT----THANKS FOR HELPING ME PUKE..roflmao.....blahhhhh YOU'RE 18 -does a little dance- WOOHOO WE'RE GONNA PARTY --does a little dance-- I LOVE YOU EDDY AND KATIE ! 2 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.23.03»05:22pm] blah...i'm sorry i wasn't home last night, eddy....my mom made me go help her since something happened with the contractor that she hired...blah..it's a big whole mess, but i didn't get home until 12 anyway...I had a huge test today, and i'm waiting for my mom to come pick me up right now...anyway....blah blah...I was just thinking that you could call me tonight if you wanted to...mk...well i will ttyl ily 1 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.21.03»04:21pm] Eddy is so amaazing. We talk so much when we're on the phone. We're alwayas thinking about each other too. He really lovesme, which is awesome because I'm not the only one that's falling so hard. He's coming here over Christmas or sometime during winter break, and we're going to spend lots of time together. PRetty soon, I'm going to start hating college, and then its going to get really bad. I really can't belive it was Trenton who sent me the virus. God, he makesa me so pisseed sometimes, and he never has a reason for what he does because he's so damn jealous. So completely jealous, and he thinks that I'm in love with him or something--we all know who I love. Anthropology is going to kill me. WE have a test this week--a midterm exam. It's going to be one of those killer tests since all he does is stand up there and lecture--and I haven't been going to class like I should be doing. He just talks and puts up those mindless notes like we're all not falling asleep. My mom's mad at me for taking money to go out last night, but what the hell--I'm not really sorry--I should be but I'm not! I can't get a job right now, it would interfere with school, and plus--she wants me to get a "professional" job...mmk lets try and put that between 8:30Am-3PM classes Monday - Friday...I'm sure I'm going to get hired at LOTS OF PLACES...--rolls eyes-- I made a greatest journal...at surfer...so yea I'm going to be posting over there too now. Mk! Well I will talk to y'all later! Love ya eddy!-muah- Bye, [S2] Cyn 1 fell down on their knees, crying.

thank you maggotface werd [9.19.03»05:22pm] [17 Sep 2003|07:06pm] PERIISH_ last cigarette: a couple months ago last kiss: 2 months last good cry: the other day with Eddy ;( last library book checked out: like a year ago lmfao, I NEVER RETURNED IT EITHER I OWE LIKE 45 DOLLARs...god last movie seen: White Squall last book read: Some crap for English, it was boring last cuss word uttered: fuck you, you fucking cunt ragged bitch last beverage drank: ice tea last food consumed: pizza last phone call: ummm robby last tv show watched: the news last shoes worn: dc shoes last cd played: Full Collapse-Thursday last item bought: ummmmmm gas? last downloaded: somethign with Smile empty soul...or maybe it was phantom planet last annoyance: being loney last night and going to sleep without talking to eddy ;( last disappointment: look up ^ last soda drank: Diet Pepsi last thing handwritten: a doodle of these waves that i like to do last word spoken: uh bye last sleep: this morning last im: some idiot thats bothering me last weird encounter: um some kid asked me if his face looked purple...when it didn't look anything but normal today...and then laughed when I gave him a queer look last ice cream eaten: moose traxx last amused: reading porn lmfao...I SWEAR IM NOT A PERV..god, I wanted to know who Jenna Jameson was! last time wanting to die: err.....forever ;( last time in love: now hehe 143 eddy bear last time hugged: um........a couple days last time scolded: today, by my mother of course last chair sat in: desk in class last lipstick used: lip gloss, clear, watermelon flavored last shirt worn: thursday full collapse black shirt last time dancing: summer....;( last poster looked at: Stop Potato Violence...quite a riot last show attended: ummm Brand New I think. last webpage visited: umm bored.com 1 MINUTE AGO: picked my nose ;/ [jk] 1 HOUR AGO: in class, falling asleep 1 DAY AGO: umm talking to katie, watching a stupid movie 1 WEEK AGO: talking to eddy and loving him so much! 1 YEAR AGO: heartbroken, in the hospital, and crying. current clothes: jean cutoff bleached skirt, pretty little camisole tank thing, feather earrings, and little flip flops current mood: sullen ;/ current music: staind current taste: Smile Empty Soul current hair: messy bun, with crimped hairs sticking out of it in the back [i'm going out tonight!!] current annoyance: speeding tickets current smell: erm lysol i think current thing I should be doing: term paper ;/ current desktop picture: clouds current refreshment: ummmmm eddy's love ;) current worry: classes/tests/OH THE HORROR THE HORROR 1. What do you most like about your body? my hair or my boobs---i touch both a lot...oohh hoo yea -rae- 2. And least? my knees...they're odd-looking 3. How many fillings do you have?: none 4. Do you think you're good looking?: OHHH HOOO YEA...-sticks out butt- smack it lol 5. Do other people tell you that you're good looking? i'd have to say yes...yes they do 1 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.19.03»11:03am] « mood | aggravated » « music | library noises....-.- » hey...so my computer got a virus...thanks to trenton and my screen names are no longe rmine....so i'm only going to be on here...during the week....until we get a new computer--which isn't going to happen soon because my mom just bought a new cadillac--GRRRRRRRRREAT....mhm...anyawys....so my aim is hotbunny03...if you need to email me...send it to ckadams17@yahoo.com...alright...EDDY---I don't know if you were the one that called me last night kinda late--but I was sleeping--so i'm sorry---but call tonight baby I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOUR HOT SEXY VOICE! [S2] cyn 3 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.15.03»08:48pm] blurty's being so fucking annoying right now. so sorry if i can't talk on aim either becase i keep getting an illegal error, so that's just wonderfull....eddy[S2222222] luv you and I will try to get on aol soon babe 2 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.15.03»10:16am] crying.

[9.14.03»10:44am] « mood | content » « music | Dave Matthews Band .:. Angel » .... I call you up You pick up You call my bluff On the cards of love You hold to close Your hands to your chest I can’t read your eyes But I confess It’s lonely far from you Even when you’re right by me It’s only why I wait for you Take my hand yeah Why do I beg like a child For your candy Why do I come after you Like I do I love you Whatever you are I swear You’ll be my angel You I play my cards Best I can But I lose my luck When you’re not here My darling heart Won’t you please give in I may be strong But I want you back again When you’re not here It’s hard to pretend It’s all alright Again When you’re not here love It’s hard to pretend It’s all alright still Why do I beg like a child For your candy Why do I run after you Like I do I love you Whatever you are I swear You’ll be my angel You Watch the deck Count your cards Makes no sense That I’m always losing When you’re gone Why do I beg like a child For your candy Why do I run after you Like I do I love you Whatever you are I swear You’ll be my angel You When you’re gone i love you eddy 9.13.03 2 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.12.03»02:44pm] the idiots of the world... "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress "How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer "You guys line up alphabetically by height." - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach JOCKS ARE SO DUMB, EVEN WHEN THEY'RE OLDER. ROFLMAO "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer FYI: POP STARS ARE STILL DUMB. 1 fell down on their knees, crying.

[9.12.03»02:11pm] pix fucked up below, so here. 1 fell down on their knees, crying.

Cyn » sings her heart out yesterday » who cares