Amanda's Journal
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Wednesday, January 28, 2004
4:06PM - Closed-Mindedness And Ignorance: Politics and Relgion
I like to have heated debates and discussions with people who are open-minded and are willing to look at perspectives that differ from there own views. Closed-minded people, on the other hand, bother the hell outta me. To not make an effort to look at things from a different perspective and to try and force your beliefs on everyone else, critizing anyone who has a different belief than you, pointint out the fact that only your beleifs are the true beliefs, is ignorant. It is true that the more we learn, the more ignorant we become, but that is because our eyes are opened to more insights in the world and how much there is to learn. Every day, a person learns and grows. But if you aren't willing to look at things in new ways, you can't learn.
Last night, I had a discussion with a friend from my hometown over the internet and he is sooo closed-minded and ignorant, it truly upset me.
We started off discussing the 2004 elections. He said he was voting for Bush but just b/c he was bush and "is a good christian". I told him I was republican, but didn't think I would vote for Bush, but I didn't know yet b/c I am not as educated as I'd like to be to make that kind of desicion. To vote for someone "just b/c" is ignorant and ludicrous and its why the United States has hard times led by not-so-great leaders.
Then, that led into Cuba, b/c I am passionate on that issue for due cause and he kept critizing the communist government, without knowing any facts. He swept all the Fidel has done for Cuba under the rug and only pointed out the inadequate living conditions. He needed to not argue a point he couldn't make and also stop saying i had nothing to back it up with b/c it wa sin fact him, who was ignorant and could not back it up.
Discussion of Cuba led to discussion of communism and Vietnam, China and Korea. Why are we allowed to travel to those places but not Cuba? HIs argument "because their leaders haven't gone insane yet" !!! Are you kidding me !!! That pushes my buttons.
He also began a holier than thou routine, trying to act like "the perfect Christian", condemning anyone who wasn't Christian, saying that anyone who isn't Christian worships false gods and isn't on the right path yada yada yada. I'm Christian and I personally believe *all* people who seek it, will go to heaven. He argues that that goes against the church's doctrine and that if everyone goes to heaven, what is the purpose of church and is this heaven?
It makes me angry that he wont look at things from a different perspective. He said as a "foriegner" he cant do anything. Only a person who says they cant do anything cant. It's not a matter of can or cannot, its a matter of will and whether or not a person is willing to do something about it.
Then he's like, he can only go to China and spread the Christian word.
I'm like, China isn't Christina, their mostly Buddhists.
And he's like, there's one path, which is a metaphor for Jesus and buddha is a false god.
I'm like buddha isn't a god to begin with, the Chinese dont' claim him to be.
And he's all like, if they dont claim a god then there not a "the path" and its not wrong to expose peoples "false religions"
Im like, you have no right to say that the Christian belief is what is right, nor can you condemn others for what they beleive and say they are wrong. Who is to know what is true? We have not died, we have not seen the afterlife--WE CANNOT KNOW! You cant force other people to beleive what you do.
And he's all like, well you only think that because you truly dont beleive in God.
WTF! Now *that* pushed my last button. You dont go telling me what I beleive or dont believe, think or dont think! Pet peeve (which he is well aware of: dont put words in my mouth)
Then he actually had the gaul to ask if I beleived. Had I not been agruing my Catholic belief earlier in the conversation.
Urgh. It just gets me really heated and energized.
So ya, that as that. I can not stand people who are not willing to look at things from a view point other than theres.
Like yes, I am against the death penalty and more passionately abortion. I am pro-life in every sense of the word. But I am willing to listen to what other have to say to argue that. Of course I'll share my own beliefs with them and why I beleive it, but I'm not going to try and force them to have my same views. Thats what this country is about.
And having traveled the world, there are many views and beliefs out there. There is such a variety of cultures.
Closed-mindedness is a factor of the ignorance this world faces and it is incrdibly depressing to realize that the US contains a large majority of those closed-minded and ignorant people. Many of the people in this country are stuck inside the world our government has created for us and are not willing to open their eyes up to the rest of the world. It's depressing.
(1 lb | Shed A Pound)
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
12:20PM - Update For The Public
Im just about to head off to science class, but I thought I'd give a quick update for the public, I'll prolly edit this later and add more, but for now, here my little update.
Classes are going well. It's weird being in the dorms. It's weird being home, in general, being on land for more than 5 days at a time and not going to classes on Saturdays and Sundays. I miss not being able to roll out of bed 30 seconds before class and "stubmling" to the class room. Now I have to wake up an hour an a half early, shower and get ready for the day before making my 15 minutre track across campus through the freezing cold, snow and wind. It's so very different here.
Mostly, I miss the people. I miss visiting the ports and learning about the different cultures. I feel like my mind is at a stagnation here, where as, traveling the world I wasl learning so much, about the world and about myself. I was happy while I was doing it, and here, I feel trapped. Trapped in a world with no answers and no new beginnnings.
I miss Cuba, and the people I met there, mostly Andy. It's sad to get his emails and know that I may never be in his arms again, but at the same time, each email puts a smile on my face, lights up my eyes like on one else could ever be able to, and it gives me hope that *someday*, we may be together.
I guess that's all for now, for, as I said, I must now put on my mitten and coat and boots, and trek thru the snow and the cold just to go to class. And then come back and do all of my homework. Oh, the ways of life.....
Ciao for now.
Current mood: 
frustrated
Current music: Nobody Wants To Be Lonely--Ricky Martin & Christina Agulera
(1 lb | Shed A Pound)
Monday, January 26, 2004
Sunday, January 25, 2004
7:12PM
Heaven: You are a true angel. You are destined to
move on to a place where there is no evil, just
people as beautiful and pure as you. Graceful
and classy, an angel like you has wonderful
things ahead! (please rate my quiz)
**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!
What kind of kiss are you?
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Morpheus
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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You're just the happy go-lucky type. You might have
your pet peeves, but other than that, you're
mainly calm. Blending in with your
surroundings, you're the type of person who
everyone likes. Usually it's you who cracks
jokes at social gatherings - after all,
laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes you
pretend to be stupid, but in all actuality, you
could be the next Einstein.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
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My inner child is sixteen years old!
Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
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Idol
The ULTIMATE personality test
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Your Heart is Blue
What Color is Your Heart?
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A GARAGE-GURL. Youre into loud music, hot guys and
wild fashions. Youre most at ease when you've
got all your mates around you and you like to
party. Boys are a game and youre always on the
ball because you make sure youre always number
one.
Your virtues: Confidence, fun nature, sociability.
Your flaws: Loudness, jealous tendency, need for
attention..
What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are like majority of the people in today's
society. You probably like the latest trends,
but not because they are considered cool; just
because you like them. Continue being you,
people like you for it.
A Deeper Look Inside Yourself (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."
What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
(Shed A Pound)
12:17AM
dependent
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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What's Your Style? Find out @ She's Crafty
Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
You are Camels! You tend to hang with the cool cowd
and are most likely the life of the party.
Other then that you are mostly laid back and
fun to be around.
Harmony. It's inner peace for you, or at least
trying to find it. The shell you live your life
in is akin to monks of old. You'd be more
comfortable if things were less stressed and
made a little more sense, so you try to get
just that. You survive the end by not letting
it happen. You didn't stop it, but you
supported those who did. I'm glad you took a
break from meditation to take the quiz...
How would you survive the end of the world?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wow!! So your perfect husband is JIM MORRISON!
Unfortunatly he is dead, but no problem! He
would be your perfect man!... ^___^ (I can give
all my money to have a man like him singing me
that waaaaay!!)
Your perfect husband-singer-man is... (with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
You are the Anniversary. You have come a long way
in your life, down a long, long road of both
good and bad things. You reflect often upon
yourself, others, and the experiences you have
had. You generally like and respect yourself,
which is a very good thing you shouldn't let go
of. May your future be as valuable as your past
has been!
What Stage in a Relationship Are You?
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You are Ecstasy!
Contrary to popular belief, you don't want to sex everyone you meet.
You rather hug, dance, hug, suck on some candy, and hug some more.
Side effects include: thinking bad techno sounds good - and finding the creepiest people "pretty"
What Drug Are You?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Your bra is a SEXY bra!
Like you, your bra likes to titillate and tantalize.
You like see through bra's, and in the right mood you might even wear one with the nipples cut out ;)
Exploring the fine line between sexiness and slutty-ness is a favourite pastime of yours!
Another favourite pastime is bending over to pick something up you dropped "accidentally" and making sure people (guys, girls, it's all good) get a chance to look down your top and admire how sexy your bra really is.
Or more so, the package it encompasses....
What Kind of Bra Are You?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
You awake one morning in a silky nightie with your hair and makeup perfectly done, ...
And who should arrive but a Handsome Prince - whose lips work that magic spell.
A spell that's sure to wake you faster than a short-circuit in your electric blanket.
Hey, you're happy to let someone else do the work,
And you can always catch up on your beauty sleep later, princess.
What Fairy Tale Gets *You* Off?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Bluemarine: Soft and subtle and definately
feminine. You are classy and cute with a
little girl all grown up appeal.
What fashion designer fits you brought to you by Quizilla
(Shed A Pound)
Saturday, January 24, 2004
11:55PM
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Pleas Vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
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You're Soroity Slut Barbie! You're easy and you're
really cheesy! Have fun with the entire
football team.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
(Shed A Pound)
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Monday, January 5, 2004
Monday, December 8, 2003
12:38PM - Home Sweet Home
I'm home. It's really wierd to be home, actaully. I'm not so sure I like it much yet. The adjsutment is odd. I feel like a fat cow, also, with all the wieght I think I gained on the trip and all the food I've been pushing down my throat these past 3 days. It's just wierd.
I've been unpacking, which is fun. I like seeing everyhting I bought, but I feel like I should have boughten more "extras" for ppl i forgot to buy for. Too late now....
I dunno, everything I so weird right now. I dont know what to do with myself. I feel like I dont belong here. It's so wierd waking up and being home and not on a ship, in the middle of the ocean or in port of some exotic land.
I miss everyone on the ship. I miss Andy, mostly. And Cuba. I miss Cuba. And knowing I may never have the chanve to go back there makes things all the more difficult.
I am a Republican, but I hate Bush for not ending Embargo. Fidel is willing to forget all the shit the US has put Cuba threw to begin diplomatic relations, but Bush only pushes harder to stop Americans from going to Cuba. It's horrible and it's sad. It brings tears to my eyes.
I dunno. It's all so weird. Being on the computer like this without having to worry about paying 50 cents a minute boggles my mind.
I guess that's all for now. Nothing real deep right now, I'll do more of that later.
For now, Ciao!
Current mood: 
blank
(2 lbs | Shed A Pound)
Friday, November 28, 2003
2:20AM - Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. While you all enjoyed your turkey day at home with you families, I'm "stuck" on a ship in the middle of the ocean with a make shift thanksgiving dinner. Oh well, I got to tan all day, lol. Tomorrow is study day and then B finals, I had a finals todayl. The Cuba day, then Cuba and I'll be home the 5th of December.
Had a conversatoin online with mom this morning and it wasn't the best. Made my fears about returning home that much more real. I'm scared.
Current mood: 
tired
(1 lb | Shed A Pound)
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
5:18PM - Jambo From Tanzania!
Well, since my last update, I've been to India and now am in Tanzania. I'm having a blast and I've changed so much. I am definately a different person now than who I was when I left.
This trip is so amazing and it has madme realize so much about life and made me want to travel even more.
When I get home, I plan on working and goining to school and saving money so I can travel. I have sooo many plans, its crazy.
I cant wait till Christmas. I have so many wonderful gifts for my family and friends. I'm so excited.
I can't believe we have just over a month left on the ship. I dont want it to end, but at the same time, I miss my family and friends so incredibly much.
Hope everyone is well and healthy.
I'll try and update from South Africa if I can get online.
All my Love,
Amanda
Current mood: 
accomplished
Current music: I Am Your Angel (It's on the radio in the cafe--how crazy!)
(Shed A Pound)
Wednesday, October 1, 2003
11:15PM - Around the World
So I'm in Thailand right now, my 4th port of a wonderful semester abroad on a floating university. We've already been to Japan, Hong Kong and Vietnam and we have many places to go, still. I wont be home until December 5th, which is why, as well as my not living at home this summer, my updates have been extremely sparce.
I'll let everyone know all about it ansd my summer when I return, you can leave me a note here with your address and Ill send out a mass email about my time here. It's such an amazing experience.
Oh, and btw, I'm sorta in recovery--we'll see how that works out tho...eh.....
Well, gotta go. Hope you are all having a great semester and please shed some pounds for me :)
Oh, and just for a quickie update, today I got to hold a baby tiger and a baby crocodile and also we rode in a tuk tuk and almost got killed...it waas crazy fun! :)
Current mood: 
crazy
Current music: Thai music
(Shed A Pound)
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
7:56AM
The little guy in you loves to rock, for it is The Wyld Chylde, running wild. Otherwise known as a PSDC, your inner child can't sit still for more than a second and hence, neither can you. You jump around and yell and stuff-- most of the time breaking things, people and places.
Finding a normal life with the "Chylde" in tow can be hard. He tends to flame out early on or, even worse, melt into a smooth jazz/worldbeat balladeer after years of soul searching and heavy self-medication.
But don't change a thing-- enjoy the ride, for it will be insane.
(Shed A Pound)
Tuesday, May 6, 2003
12:19AM
 I am sweet, like Sugar.
I am all sweetness and light; fluffy bunnies and dancing fairies; happiness and joy. Too much of me will make you sick. What Flavour Are You?
|
(Shed A Pound)
Friday, February 28, 2003
6:24PM - Taken from the TOD of //britt
I've learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is
at first, the passion fades
and there had better be something
else to take its place.
I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, no matter
how we feel.
I've learned that you can do something
in an instant that will give you
heartache for life.
In my time with this man, I have learned
more valuble things than I probably will ever
learn in my whole lifetime.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many birthdays
you've celebrated.
I've learned that two people can
look at the exact same thing...
and see something totally different.
Unspoken love is like a poison
if you keep it to yourself for a long time,
it will consume you from the inside.
I know i hurt you too.
I'm Sorry.
I'm glad we are strong enough to stay close.
I've learned that just because two people argue,
it doesnt mean they dont love each other.
And just because they dont argue, it doesnt mean they do.
I have said nothing because there is
nothing i can say to describe the way i feel.
Our friendship cant be replaced
even with our history together.
You will only find one true love in your life
And if you're lucky you'll get to spend the
rest of your life with them.
You ended up breaking my heart just when i thought
you were the best boyfriend alive.
Thank you.
You shaped who i am and who i am still becoming.
Thank you for the outcome of your heart break.
You'll always be my best friend.
(3 lbs | Shed A Pound)
Saturday, February 22, 2003
6:43PM - Friends Only
I think I'm going to make this friends only. I like the concept. It's basically a private diary, like on fod or tod, but some people still have access to it. And just to be on the safe side that my mom doesn't read this one, too, and violate me, yet again. Because there's some things I might want to post but can't b/c of that. Grrr.
Well, if you are that interested in my life and aren't already on my friends list, let me know. I think I'm only going to give it till tomorrow tho, so think quick. :)
Lol...I'm going out tonight. Last night was the shyt, so hopefully tonight will be just as fun! :) Weee. :)
(4 lbs | Shed A Pound)
3:46PM - This Is Me Getting Sick
I think I'm getting sick. Last night was fun. Living the college life...lol. We watched Black Knight, Triple X and Seven. We didn't really pay attention to Triple X tho, cuz we were all talking and I fell asleep during Seven, lol. Oh well. Slept in, too and then and went to lunch in Lomira. Fun times, fun times. I didn't really eat too much tho--(shit food)--so when I got back I made some veggie alphabet soup, only I can't fucking keep it down now. Ya--I got lightheaded last night during Seven before I fell asleep, so I think that was me, getting sick. Bleh. I'm sure it'll be fine tho. I wanna get a little more info from books on Calatrava--everything I find seems to be not interesting to me and I need to have an outline for Tuesday. I think I'll go to the library again tomorrow, tho. This time, focusing on Calatrava instead of my abortion paper.
Oh well, I think I'm just gonna relax again tonight. Lol. Prolyl shouldn't, but hey--it's Saturday, and already 4 o'clock, tho it sure don't feel like it. I should take a shower soon, too. lol.
(Shed A Pound)
Thursday, February 20, 2003
11:06PM - Jealousy
He can't get into his e-mail at home, so he asks me to get in for him., which I constantly ask him for the password too, even tho I kno it, b/c I don't want him to think that I kno it. That's all fine and good, but the thing he is looking for is the e-mail from Amber. And she hasn't responded to him yet, fine. But tonight he asks to check again and if I can get in, to tell him Amber's e-mail addy so he can e-mail her from his msn e-mail (the one i don't kno the password too), so I lie, the first time I've lied to him, and tell him it doesn't come up. You know why? Because I'm scared. But he remembers her e-mail anyways, and actually interrupts me to tell me that. It hurts so bad. I'm jealous of a girl hundreds of miles away. Why does shit like this happen to me all the time. I don't want her to respond--or maybe I do, but I want her to say she has a b/f and is in love and happy and then I feel guilty because I realize how selfish I am. But I can't help it. He doesn't tell me he loves me anymore. I tell him, but the only response I get is "I kno" and it hurts. He text messaged me two nights ago and called me when I didn't respond (I was sleeping) he told me I had to read it, so I did and it said "I love you. You are great and I don't want to lose you" That made me feel so good. I know he still loves me, still cares. But I'm scared of losing him. I want to hear him tell me he loves me again. I want to be with him.
I think I may have failed my philo test--all because of damned multiple choice and fill in the blank. Essays were actually okay--bs'ed my way through most of the second one, but still more of a chance than set in stone facts.
Talked to Ben online today...literally talked. That was cool. Figuring out how to use voice. :)
Binged. Go figure. I was doing good, then I fucked up....I came back from my philo test and was like, just in fail mode. It sucked ass. I took 9 B-6 vitamins today. Don't know if that does anything. I feel fine. I posted in BDF about it, but no response. I'm starting to feel invisible there....
I hung out with some guys in my wing for a bit tonight. That felt good--made me happy. And I actually read the 76 pages for lit tomorrow. Wow. Work was good. Blake and Abby colored my pictures. Mitchell used to be my favorite, and while he still is, Blake is so wonderful. He's such a cute lil baby. I kno, as a teacher, it's horrible to have favorites, but you can't really help it, can you? It's not like I treat them any differently, well, I guess I do....I baby Blake and Mitchell more, I guess and like to hold them more than the others. I can't wait to have a child of my own. It's crazy, b/c while I know I'm not ready, sometimes, I just wish I could have a little baby growing inside of me. I'm only not ready b/c I'm in school and still dependant on my mother. I am only not ready financially. Emotionally, mentally, a child would be good for me and I for him/her. I've been ready to be a mother for so long. Wow, I'm beginning to scare myself with such talk.
It's Cody's birthday tomorrow (in 1/2 hour really) I'll be the first to tell him. He got my card today--he liked them both (one I made, one had a car and half-naked chick on it) His knees are hurting. I wish I could make it better. :( I wish he was coming here tomorrow. I wish I was with him tonight.
Okay, off to call him now. I hung up with him so I could finish my thoughts.
Current mood: 
jealous
(Shed A Pound)
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