Amanda's Journal

10:50PM - In Honour of My Best Friend

(1 lb | Shed A Pound)

8:03AM

THE ULTIMATE SILENCE
October 12, 1998



Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts,
The impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never haves,
Then listen close to me ...
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.

~ Shel Silverstein

Six years ago today, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being homosexual.

What will you do to end the silence?

Click here to post this on your own page or weblog

(Shed A Pound)

8:03AM

THE ULTIMATE SILENCE
October 12, 1998



Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts,
The impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never haves,
Then listen close to me ...
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.

~ Shel Silverstein

Six years ago today, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being homosexual.

What will you do to end the silence?

Click here to post this on your own page or weblog

(Shed A Pound)

10:59AM

You are chill!


What kind of techno music are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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9:36AM

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9:31AM

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3:55PM - Road Sign

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3:52PM - Warning Label

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3:48PM - Personality Cocktail

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10:29AM - //insert clever title here

My brain isnt currntly able to come up with any title, so ya.

I went to the doctor yesterday and got my staples out. I thought I had stitches, but apparently, I had staples....about 20 of them! Yikes!! It was defibtly painful when they were coming out and before the dr. took them out, they x-rayed my arm again, which was also painful b/c I had to position it in an awkward way. I cried through the whole thing, basically.

Afterwards, we stopped at Marks to get my sandals that ?I was wearing the night of the accident and also my calendar that fell out my bag. The rest of yesterday I just basically layed on the couch and watched tv and slept, which also happens to be pretty much what Ive done all today, as well.

Tomorow Im going to go to my Boosha's and take a bath a jus stay there while my mom bowls, and then at night she's driving me back to Fond du Lac. I wont have a car obviously, since I cant drive, which means I may not be able to finish my clinical :( !!!
Its going to be super difficult at school, living by myself and then relying on luck and kindness of people to help me to class, since I wont really be able to carry my books, either. :-\
I dunt know how Ill manage showering, its going to be so hard and Im so scared to go back, period. Its going to be so hard and Im already in so much pain. :**(

Current mood: sore

(1 lb | Shed A Pound)

10:26AM - The Accident

//she hit a WHAT?!?



So last Wednesday after clinical, I got in my car and drove to Milwaukee to chill with some friends. The night was going fine: a bunch of us jus talking, playing video games, listening to music, and jus enjoying ourselves.

Well later in the evening, I got hungry, so me, Mark, and Dan decided to go to the store for some food. We got to Pick ‘N Save, bought our food and got back in the car. I was busy talking and it was pitch black out—no street lights, no anything.

The next thing I know, Im screaming as we plunge head on into a TRAIN that is parked in the middle of the intersection with no warning lights of any kind.

So the car is smoking and it smells rancid and Mark and Dan jump out of the car but I cant move. I am in inrcredible pain and am screaming and bawling my eyes out. Mark dragged me out of the car by my arms, which was excruciating and I could barely stand, let alone walk.

Some how, I ended up in some guys SUV and he was driving me back to Marks house—why I didn’t stay for the cops and an ambulance is beyond me—I was jus in so much pain and probly shock as well, I really dunt kno tho.

So then I got to Marks house, have no idea how I got upstairs and was laying on the couch. Barbie and Kristal took my jamma pants off me cuz they were filthy and wet from the ground or idk what and then put my white pants on me and said I had to go to the hospital. Getting down the stairs was a trip in itself, my foot hurt so badly, with every step I took, I screamed out in pain. I never stopped crying.

We got to the hospital and they brought a wheelchair out to the car for me. They took me in right away (we were at the ER obviously) and took me for X-Rays.



The results: I broke my right foot, had a spiral break in my right arm near the elbow (and the bone actually came out of my skin and went back in) and the left side of face was swelled up like a freaking chipmunk.



They gave me a Vicadin while I was in the ER, then at 5am moved me to a room and gave me 2 miligrams of Morphine until my emergency surgery on Thursday at 4pm on my arm, where I now have a metal plate for the rest of my life. After the surgery I was on a Morphine pump I could hit every 10 minutes and when I left the hospital Saturday evening, I was given a filed prescription of Percusate (sp?)



This whole thing has been such a huge experience for me. The only reason we went out was because I was hungry and then not only did I not get to eat then, I didn’t get to eat any solid food until Friday night!! (because of the surgery).



It really makes you know who cares. My best friend Steph and her b/f came to visit me on Friday. Christy and he b/f drove down 2 hours to visit with me for awhile before having to drive the 2 hours back. My Mom, Boosha, Aunt, and the kids were there for me and still are. Some cousins from up north came down to see me, and other relatives and friends have been calling, etc. Mark, Barbie, and Kristal stayed with me in the ER until 5 am, when I was moved into a room before leaving to get some sleep, only to come back at 10 am that same morning.

It makes me know who really cares about me and who I should continue to spend my time caring about versus those people who say they care, but who still have not returned my phone call, in which I told them I was in an accident, etc and asked them to call me back. Its been a week—busy lives or not, if someone you really care about calls saying they’ve been hurt, your gonna call them back, no questions.



So here I am, well taken care of by my family, typing with one hand and despite pain pills, still hurting very much. Cody came and visited me tonight. My mom also drove me to FDL tonight so I could take a test. Ive missed all my classes this week, but will probly be going back for them next week. I cant drive, tho, so idk if Ill be able to finish my clinicalL



I get my stitches out tomorrow, so Ill find out lots more when I see my doctor.



It was like, the first time not wearing a seatbelt for me tho and look what happens. It only takes one time. Ive always been a huge seatbelt advocate to begin with, now I probly will be even more (*my uncle said that about me too).



Its 1130—time for my pain pill, then off for more sleeping.

Current mood: sore

(Shed A Pound)

10:56AM - Tell Me Anything

(This idea was stolen from Glitter Empress, xbuzybeex and *..waiting..*)
We'll see how many of you really believe in anonymity.

I want you to post anything that you want.

Anything.

Post a story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, what you think about me, or whatever else is on your mind.

Be sure to post honestly and anonymously, though.

Post as many times as you'd like and then put this in your diary. See what your friends and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your diary have to say.

PS: If you really want to leave your note signed then you may but i would rather it be anonymous. that makes it more real.

(1 lb | Shed A Pound)

12:09PM - Feet

Ya, I just ate a turkey and cheddar cheese sandwhich and the cheese tasted like feet (not that ive eaten feet, but ya lol)

Blech--it makes me want to vomit!

(But I wont)

I love Wednesdays. Im done with classes for the day now! Woo-Woo!

My shin splints are acting up again and it sucks ass--they hurt sooo bad.

I gotta do the dishes sometime today and take a nap! lol.

For now, I'm just randomly "wasting" time online, lol.

Current mood: bored

Current music: Hold Me--Savage Garden

(3 lbs | Shed A Pound)

11:11AM - Changing Face....???

I've been wanting to color my hair for a long time now, but I'm so scared too.
I'm gonna ask Tom what he thinks, but I'd also appreciate all y'lls opinion also.



That is the best pic I have available that shows my hair color now.
I'm thinking of going super dark, maybe with auburn highlights.
What do you think of the girl in my icon for this entry? I like that, but I dunno if it'd look good on me or not.



Of course, I wont be dying my hair anytime soon b/c I'm broke as ever, but when I get money, I'm really ready for change. I've had this hair color my entire life, basically--blonde for ever, altho more blonde since I started highlighting it freshman yr of high school.

So, I'm ready for change and need opinions. :)

I'm in computer class but it hasnt started yet. I also seem to be the first one out--eh well. lol.

So ya....when I get yll's opinion and Tom's, I really wanna do it. Of course--then there's my mom.....lol. She's deifntly going to have an opinion. But I'm just sick of being blonde. I mean, Ill always be *blonde* but I just wanna try out a new hair color.

Let me kno what yll think PLEASE!

Current mood: curious

Current music: Quiet Mumblings from Other Classmates as we wait for class.

(8 lbs | Shed A Pound)

10:47PM - Where I've Been....

create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide




.....and now for the rest of the world....

Current mood: accomplished

(1 lb | Shed A Pound)

4:03PM - Taste Buds

What does it mean when I have a taste for dorios dipped in chocolate sauce?

I mean, something has to be wrong when that actually sounds appetizing to me!

(And no, I'm not pregnant)

Current mood: confused

Current music: Watching Strong Medicine

(2 lbs | Shed A Pound)

10:40PM - And its Confirmed....

Which Angie are you?

quiz by acidflowers

(Shed A Pound)

11:07PM - Murder?

My mom's friends daughter was murdered today in Thomaston, Georgia by her husband. He strangled her and then killed himself. They left behind two children--a 10 yr old and and 8 yr old and she was 5 months pregnant! Its just so crazy and inconceivable. Like--whoa!
The things people do in today's society are absolutely insane. I'm at a loss for for words, even. Urgh.
Speechless.

Current mood: angry

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12:20PM - This is Quite Amusing...

What Famous Leader Are You?

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10:44AM - Pictures?

Does anyone know how to put pictures in the diary? I tried in my last entry, but it doesn't work and the site I'm taking them from *does* allow remote loading. :-\ I'm sooo confused. :(

HELP!!!

Current mood: confused

(Shed A Pound)