So, i have another blurty but it's open to all my friends. I want to be able to write openly about my ED. But I can't in the other blurty because I always end up getting lectured and scolded. So this will be my own private blurty. THis way I won't be judged or scolded for what I do. I'm not really Pro-ED. I think it's a terrible thing to deal with. And I wouldn't ever advise people to do it. But I also have no desire to stop. I've been struggling with it for 3 years now. I go back and forth between starving and then binging and purging. I also take diet pills. my bulimia is absolutely the hardest thing for me to control. Even though I'd like to think I have control over it. I'm not really thin. here are my stats:
current weight: 138lbs
goal weight: 117 lbs.
highest weight: 204 lbs.
lowest weight: 123 lbs
not too impressive I know. Well I used to be extremely over weight because I was a compulsive eater. I began by cutting back on the food intake and exercising. It started off as a healthy diet... but as I start loosing and getting compliments, it turned into a life altering obsession. So, here I am 3 years later still puking up my food. It's a grand old time I tell ya. Not really.
What I want to do is just be able to write about my feelings openly and about my day and everything. including my calorie in take and exercising... and purging and all that fun stuff that I really can't talk about in my other blurty. Well, I guess that's enough for now. I'll update again soon.
bye for now... I must get some sleep... Current Mood: calmCurrent Music: "Come clean"- hillary duff... such a cute song