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Razorblade Kisses

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[26 Jun 2004|07:02pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | Atreyu * Lip Gloss and Black ]

Okay, so me and cory are now officially dating. ^_^
He came to visit me at work, and the first words he said to me were, "Hi Im Tina and Im fucking gorgeous" eee!, and waited for me until I got off and he took me to friendly's!
I got my reeses pieces sundae i was very happy. lol and yeah today was a good day <3
ahh im so happy.

expect an eyebrow piercing on tina within the week. ;-)

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[25 Jun 2004|10:21pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Krisiun* Evil Gods Havoc ]

Im so confused. =(

I dont know what is going on with me and cory.
He says hes crazy about me, he loves me, he wants to see me, blah blah and yes its nice.
but im becoming an impatient bitch. ASK ME OUT ALREADY!.

But then again, I dont know if I really like him like that. hes like "do you love me?" and how am i suppose to answer that? When he tells me recently that he is on Anti-Psychotics, he was once committed into a mental hospital because of Anger issues. So if I piss him off...I might die?

that just scares me.
and i dont know if I wanna be with a person like that.
whenever im with him though, i cant stop smiling.
i dont know what to do. :-(

Have you ever confused a dream with life?... // ...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[25 Jun 2004|01:53am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Bloodbath * Like Fire ]

By: Iced Earth

Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in destiny?
True love may come only once in a thousand lifetimes...
I too have loved...they took her from me.
I prayed for her soul....I prayed for her peace

When I close my eyes
I see her face, it comforts me
When I close my eyes
Memories cut like a knife

The blood is the life, and Christ I defy.
My sworn enemy...birth of a new creed.

Is this my reward for serving God's own war?
The blood I've spilled for faith fulfilled.
To damn her, a disgrace, you spit back in my face.
I served you loyally, and you spew blasphemy.

I avenge with darkness, the blood is the life
The Order of the Dragon, I feed on human life

There are far worse things awaiting man than death
Come taste what I have seen
I'm spreading my disease
I will feed upon His precious child
The human race will bleed, they will serve my need.

I avenge with darkness, the blood is the life
The Order of the Dragon, I feed on human life

I am the Dragon of blood, a relentless prince of pain
Renouncing God on His throne
My blood is forever stained

For true love I shall avenge
I defy the creed that damned her
...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[23 Jun 2004|05:01pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Opeth * Circle of Tyrants ]

new layout. YAY.
bram stokers dracula.
awesome movie

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[22 Jun 2004|09:51pm]
[ mood | rejected ]
[ music | Nine Inch Nails * Reptile ]

i took a quiz that i found in Alexis's profile.
yay. i have no life.
You are Somewhat Damaged from The Fragile album.
Somewhat Damaged

What NIN Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Somewhat Damaged

so impressed with all you do
tried so hard to be like you
flew too high and burnt the wing
lost my faith in everything

lick around divine debris
taste the wealth of hate in me
shedding skin succumb defeat
this machine is obsolete

made the choice to go away
drink the fountain of decay
tear a hole exquisite red
fuck the rest and stab it dead

broken bruised forgotten sore
too fucked up to care anymore
poisoned to my rotten core
too fucked up to care anymore

in the back off the side far away is a place where I hide
where I stay
tried to say
tried to ask
I needed to all alone by myself where were you?
how could I ever think it's funny how everything that
swore it wouldn't change is different now just like you
would always say we'll make it through then my head fell apart and where were you?
how could I ever think it's funny how everything you swore would
never change is different now like you said you and me make it
through didn't quite fell apart where the fuck were you?
...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[22 Jun 2004|03:36pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | Dark Tranquility * Damage Done Album ]

I cling to memories, while falling
Sleep brings relief
And the hope of a new day
Waking the misery, of being without you

math B regents, I failed you.
Dear Chemistry Regents, I will bomb your ass.

if you tell someone that you were gonna pick them up from school and take them out, wouldnt you? and maybe keep on your cell if i had to get in touch with you?

this day is crap. complete crap.
...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[21 Jun 2004|12:34am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Killswitch Engage * Bid Farewell ]

In the corner beside my window
There hangs a lonely photograph
There is no reason
I'd never notice
A memory that could hold me back

There is a wound that's always bleeding
There is a road I'm always walking
And I know you'll never return to this place

Gone through days without talking
There is a comfort in silence
So used to losing all ambition
Struggling to maintain what's left

Once undone, there is only smoke
Burning in my eyes to blind
To cover up what really happened
Force the darkness unto me

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

i thought this was funny [20 Jun 2004|01:33pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | And Oceans * Tears Have No Name ]

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon"
- Chris Rock

Have you ever confused a dream with life?... // ...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[18 Jun 2004|09:56pm]
[ mood | weird ]
[ music | Deftones featuring Maynard James Keenan * Passenger ]

so things have been a series of vissitudes lately.
Between regents and guys. ugh. and more

today was a pretty bad day, yet good.
you think you know someone but you really dont.
I am literally scared of you I never seen you act like that before. I dont think I really can...trust you anymore.
I really cant believe you did that to me. =[ and betray. wow. amazing.

and friends...yeah i have a few. but certain ones..they tend to drift away. because of something that happened between us, you couldve said NO, i wouldve completely understood. or decides that they are going to get attached with another person but whatever. why did I try the best that i could to keep you happy and be there when you needed it? i dont know...and i hate it when people change for the worse. :-( i miss what you used to be. i still love you. but its just not the same. ::Shrugs::

thats the bad part.

anyway, so yesterday, i go to work or whatever and i had 16 kids and it was havoc. i even hada cook my own food which was crap, AND IT WAS SO MUCH. 5 PIZZAS, HOT DOGS, POPCORN, FRENCH FRIES, meh but i got through it and made like a 36 dollar tip. and cory visited me. eee! hes so cute.
lol. we chilled for about 10 minutes because i was so busy and he kissed me goodbye and that was that =( damn. kids. ruin. every.thing. and hes keeping me sane for the most part. and hes making me happy. i dont feel as invisible asi used to anymore. I got him in trouble though. I left a pretty big "mark" on his neck, heh you know how I do. and his parents noticed, flipped a shit.
hahaha but yeah. good stuff. ANYWAY!

my mom is letting me getting my brow pierced. i think. i just gotta get the money for it. oh well i dont care im getting it done anyway. hopefully soon

um....i passed the american history regents. woo! thats one. i still gotta take...chem and math
my cell phone is working again! YAY!. i cant find the battery charger though. that can be an issue,

tonight i hung out wit eileen, we went to friendlys, had ice cream :-) and we walked aimlessy..around sayville and we talked. and talked. but it was fun. and yes eileen we gotta have a "ritual" gathering in sayville one day during the summer. and no hallucinations this time

okay that is all..leave comments? yes no maybe?

Have you ever confused a dream with life?... // ...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[12 Jun 2004|11:26pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Cradle of Filth * Serpent Tounge ]

Alrighty, today wasnt that bad.

First off, I woke up around 9 30 and Anthony said he would pick me up and take me to work...but then something came up and kinda ditched me again. but thats okay.

Then I went to work around 12 ish and im so pissed. People that are starting are getting 7 dollars an hour and i started with 6.30. And secondly,Ive been working there for about 3 months now, I covered for people at least like 5 times I havent been absent at all nor do any of my party families have complained about me. and i think i should at least get the seven dollars an hour, so i told everyone how new people are getting paid more then people who have worked there over a year or so. which is crap. and they got mad too. so i basically started a cult against my boss. yeah. but seriously its such bullshit and my manager even agreed with me. so yeah Im gonna yell at my boss.

Then i came home, then went to the mall with eileen.
it was fun. I bought alot of stuff. shopping makes me happy.

And that Hot Topic Worker Guy definately wanted me. friggin following me everywhere.
Not that I mind.

then we met up with maribeth and kristina in the food court. and wow that was interesting.
They came up to us and they were telling us about how they were mocking this girl trying to pick up a guy. and it was pretty hysterical considering the girl looked like she was 12 and the guy was like 23. and shes was pretty nasty looking too.then we see this about 30 or so year old guy wearing a golds gym tank top on, and he was walking around with a stick up his ass thinking hes hot shit. and he walked by us and of course I had to comment on his wadrobe and him,{ this tank top was showing his whole front side. and you can see his bodacious ta ta's and it was pretty gross}.. and he heard me. which was the purpose. but then he came back and started to hit on Kristina. "Hey you got a cigarette?" "No Im all out" ::eileen gets up:: "I GOTTA GO WASH MY HANDS!" ::eileen leaves:: "Whats your name?" "Louisa" ::momentary silence:: "Are you single?" Kristina: "YEAANNNNOOOOOOOOO" ::me laughing hysterically at the guy:: ::guy walks away:: oh man, that was awesome.

and yeah that made my night. then we went to go find eileen in the bathroom.
now here I are.

k im gonna go...tired...goodnight

Have you ever confused a dream with life?... // ...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

meh [10 Jun 2004|10:44pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | In Flames * Insipid 2000 ]


- I redyed my hair back to black, due to the fact that the color thing was getting on my nerves. First it was pink. and yes i loved it for the time being. Then for a little change, I dyed it "bloody red" it was cool...but then i also found out i had GREEN in my hair? so i was just like wow screw this, i looked like a christmas tree. the red was cool tho. and then i had like red dye all stained on my neck and its just a pain in the ass, especially with summer here and all, I dont wanna spend a forture on freakin hair dye. and keep up with the highlites. Between pool, beach and constantly showering. so yes. its back to black. and unfortunelety as i was dyeing my hair, i didnt realize that i missed a whole spot of pink so yeah in the back of my head theres pink.. i wouldve re applied but you know my luck. dye ran out. But beside that, i think it looks sexy and its very very dark. tee hee. ill probably do the florescent colors again when school starts. but for now i wanna keep it at a solid color.

-I have work tomorrow. And Vicki will be working with me now. Yay. :-) The other day, my party of 25 kids got canceled, so i just stood in the snack bar and did absouletly nothing, for three hours. and even had free food how awesome.

-Next month I will be attending a couple of Concerts: Ozzfest 2004 with Kim. \m/ & Evanescence, a week apart and at Jones Beach. Music is my salvation =) and I think I am going away with Eileen. so July Im really looking forward too.

- I watched this movie, I dont remember what it was called, but the guy had like so many piercings and such and so did the chic. and it inspired me to get piercings done. One day I was extremely bored and I tried to pierce my nipple. but that didnt work out too good. it hurt but i can deal. haha eh ill be 18 soon, Ill get it done then. I want my nose, nipples and naval done. or i can just go to essentials and pick up one of those do it at home kits. haha

-School is almost over. Thank God. I flipped out in Chemistry. We were taking a test, on Nuclear Chemistry. and yeah its easy but i didnt pay attention at all during the unit. due to the fact that i just cant deal with that class anymore. so im taking the test, its dead silence..and im working on this problem that i had no clue how to do...and I just slammed my pen down and was like "THIS IS CRAP" really loud, and my teacher was like "Tina whats the matter?" "Im in a fit, i cant do this crap" so yeah. im really quite fed with education. and regents and shit are coming up...so LET THE STRESS BEGIN.

alright i think thats all for now. comment! i hate talking to myself I do wanna hear what u people have to say

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

i wrote a song thing [07 Jun 2004|10:51pm]
[ mood | rushed ]
[ music | Napalm Death * Plague Rages ]

i wrote a song, cuz thats how i do.
its not that great but i made it up during chemistry.

"Here's to the one I'll never have."

You make me smile
Like I never have before
You make my life worthwhile
and begging for more

eternal bliss.

You caress my cheek with your fingertips
And whisper passion into my ruby lips
You covered me in roses
With a love that no one else would know.

But its only a dream
Its only a dream
Only a dream
a dream

Here's to the one I'll never have.

Your sonnets leave me speechless
Your serenades leave me breathless
Your love leaves me powerless
Here's to the one Ill never have.

But its only a dream
Its only a dream
Only a dream
a dream

Nefarious Aurora, So glad to see you again
Thanks for the glimpse, the reminder of reality.

My skin yearns for the razors edge
Pills and Alcohol satisfy my hunger
and quench my thirst
Heres to the one I'll never have.

This lonliness is eating me alive
These tears of pain are hard to hide
This is for the love I'll never find.

Heres to the one I'll never have.
I'll never have.

Have you ever confused a dream with life?... // ...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[23 May 2004|12:22am]
[ mood | stressed ]
[ music | At The Gates * World of Lies. ]

havent really updated in a while.
nothing much is really going on.

I went to the Talent Show at C.H.S it was alright. not that bad. i sat with steph, kate, kim and jenn.
I still think Cell Block Tango # 1 shouldve won. only because Rob was awesome. hahahaha. good job all of stage crew. seriously. after the show i went to applebees...and so did half of the connetquot district . crazy shit.

today at work, one of the guys i work with asked me to make out with him after work...
it was interesting. and I love how guys get all excited and be extra kind to you. and give you "the sex eye"
when you say "sure" getting up a guys hope is thrilling. hahaha
Also, a random lady...about 40...grabbed my arm, and shes like "your hair is adorable" and she asked me where i got it done and where i got the color and stuff. and shes also like "i saw you walking around and i was like i have to tell her that her hair looks absolutely adorable on her! it came out really nice" it was strange. to have this lady come up to you, grab ur arm, and just stare at you. also one of my managers is like "Every time i look at ur hair, i wanna put purple highlites in my hair" you'll see like 40 year old women with black and fuscia hair now. look what ive started.

Have you ever confused a dream with life?... // ...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

[16 May 2004|12:10am]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Kalmah * Hades ]

today wasnt that bad of a day. ::gasp::

I woke up around 8 o clock...went out for a morning run. cuz im cool like that.
then i got ready for work and shit.
Rob Alluck, Carly and their friend Shayna decided to go to the alley...which was cool...i hooked em up. hahaha ;-) next time bring a fucking messager bag.
then i came home, and i went out to eat with the family, at applebees. I saw Ray again. and FRANK! that was his name. lol...yeh they still want me.
then I went to Jackys house to partay!...alot of beating the shit outta each other and biting. and sexually oriented comments and actions....good stuff
It was me, jacky, Rob alluck, Mike Perrotta, JJ, Nicole, Julie, ..and uh thats all i can remember....lol im really tired
Rob bit my neck. ohh how I love the vampirism. and i got massaged. yay!
i had a good time. I <3 you jacky! thank you. lol

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

give me one more medicated peaceful moment. [11 May 2004|12:22am]
[ mood | fucking miserable. ]
[ music | Tool * H. ]

its thundering and lightning and pouring pretty damn hard. thats pretty neat.
it actually somewhat relaxes me. and so does maynards voice. yay for tool and apc.

i couldnt fall asleep last night.
and looks like the same for tonight.
yay for insomnia.

today sucked. what else is new?
im not gonna even bother telling you why...cuz i know none of you care.
its been proven to me. so yeah. whatever. thanks again for making me feel like i dont matter.

i'll write in here when something actually good decides to happen.....that wont be for awhile....heh.

Have you ever confused a dream with life?... // ...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

this is dedicated to nipples and the art of masterbation. [08 May 2004|12:12am]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | A Perfect Circle * Gravity ]


1...2....3....SHIT FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing. Absouletely fucking amazing. Maynard is fucking GOD. I reek like weed and I have a severe case of whiplash but it was worth it. The concert was incredible. I seriously never felt so happy while listening to maynards voice and just letting the lyrics dominate my emotions. it felt as if my worries just disappeared. nothing mattered at that moment. i kno it sounds corny but yeah...and when he screamed those long screams...i pretty muched creamed my fucking pants. that i almost like fainted.
They played Vanishing as the opening song, then the second song was PET, one of my favs. it was just awesome...and they closed the show with Judith. <3
And some kid told me to sit down during the concert and i was just like um why? and hes like your blocking his view, he pointed to some guy or what ever and im like..i could give a shit less tell him to stand up youre at a fucking concert i just continued to thrash my head.. then when i went to sit down, and stretch And i went up this guy's legs who was behind me without realizing it...and he said he enjoyed it lmao
They played alot of songs from the Mer De Noms album also. which was kick ass, the hollow, judith, orestes, magdalena, thinking of you, three libras, and brena. From Thirteenth step, the package, weak and powerless, the noose, blue, vanishing, , the outsider, the nurse who loved me, pet and gravity. eeeeeeeeeeeeee!
then maynard decided to get all political and shit...talking.mocking Janet Jacksons Nipple issue and Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor. good stuff
I bought a jacket thing..and a tour shirt...oh yeahhhhhhhhh
I had an awesome time and i think kim did too. lol.
alright...that is all. May 7th 2004. Best Night Ever.
Next up July 14th Ozzfest 2004.

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

they were right about you. [06 May 2004|08:04pm]
[ mood | pleased ]
[ music | A Perfect Circle * Magdalena ]

I stayed home from school today. woo!

I had to go to my sisters confimation. that..was..relatively boring.
but i bit my lip.

then we went to applebees to celebrate. and i saw Ray and Mike? again. both of them def. want me.
Ray remembered me and he was just like smiled and said "HEYYY WHATS UPP!!!", and Mike?, who is def. hardcore...was talking to me right before i left...saying how he got a new job and hes not gonna work there anymore. :-(. which sucks, cuz i probably wont see him again. he was pretty cool. hes into my music and such. but whatcha gonna do. hopefully ill see him at ozzfest. cuz i wouldnt mind getting together with him. hahah I hate going to applebees though, You see everyone. and it just annoys me, (im not talking about the two hot doorsman) but..people from school. cuz then you have to put on that fake impression and make it seem like you actually enjoy seeing them. meh. and then when you talk to them there are frequent long pauses between the conversation. haha.

24 HOURS Till A Perfect Circle. the show is gonna kick ass.

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

i miss you. [05 May 2004|02:59pm]
[ mood | Sadistic ]
[ music | HIM * Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart ]

Why do people have the desire to put you down whenever they have the chance and constantly criticize you? By giving kinda cynical remarks and try to steal your attention for a second. And make themselves appear more superior? Please dont do that to me. Dont bring up your achievements and exaggerate them. Its annoying when you constantly bring it up. Say it once. and only once. and shut the fuck up. you sound like an asshole and in the long run, i could really careless.
It amazes me, how people...do not, I repeat DO NOT want you to do well in life.
all of you can suck my left tit for all i care and like it.

anyway, moving on.

school was school.
3rd Quarter Grades:
-Math 90...that is a miracle. but im gonna bomb the regents. all because of stupid LOGS. hahaha.
-English 83
-Spanish 87...i dont know how cuz i never go.
-Chemistry 77..YAY FOR ms. fucking douche norden. god. she sucks. she does not know how to teach.
- American History 82...another class that i just daze out completely.
-Ceramics- 80...im just glad i passed. DAMN YOU THREE FOLD DICTATOR!

and thats all i know...thats pretty good considering i do jack shit and i never really go to school.

there is this kid who frequently visits my ceramics class..and like...i dont know him...and he smiles at me and says hey all the time...hes pretty cute too. tee hee

sighhhhhh. k im done.

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

werd [03 May 2004|09:55pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | Dream Theatre * Metropolis Part One ]

yeah you know I do.
tinas happy. ::gasp:: bye bye pessimist.
I woke up in a really good mood. I mean...i even had the energy to dress NICE today...im talking prep tina. it was...not me. but i liked the complements. and plus i looked pretty hot. i got to re dye the pink hair again though. this shit is pissing me off. it cant last for a month. haha.
I want to see the movie GODSEND. really bad.
my spanish teacher was talking about it today..and shes like "yeah tina you would like it...you really enjoy horror, death and freakiness "..she called me a nut too. ahhaha. but then again im pretty..pyschotic. haha..some kid in my italian class...we were watching this movie...and the guy was hurting...and he shouts out "Look Tina, the guy is in pain!" he said as if im this sadistic bitch...thanks man.
hm, some guy attempted to lift up my skirt in the halls of the school. :-( NOT COOL.
and in ceramics this kid...was high...and he kinda threw himself on top of me on purpose..basically touching my boobs. freakin men. lol and i passed math with a friggin 90..that is a miracle.
and that was all that happened for school..then after school i went to work..that went okay, fucking little kids poking me every fucking second. little pricks. hahah then...my mom showed me a picture of this mustang she wants to get me, instead of the civic, at this point...i dont care what kinda car i get...as long as i get one...but yeah the mustang is pretty damn sexy.
then i had to go to church....hahahhaha that was interesting my sister is making confirmation and im her sponser. and one of the questions that will be asked is "Do you reject Satan and all his evil doings" and some other shit, and you are suppose to respond "I do" and then the lady person was like if you dont say that, the priest will come after you...and me and my perverted mind...haha anyway, yes. church sucks and so does religion. hm im tired. time for bed.

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

im not a perfect person. [02 May 2004|09:28pm]
[ mood | quixotic ]
[ music | Yngwie Malmsteen * Baroque and Roll ]

My original plans consisted of getting a manicure with eileen, but then, work called and i had to cover for a party because the original hostess got sick. so yeah i had to go in around 2, and i didnt have my uniform because its in the wash...and i wasnt expecting to work..so i wore a johnny the homicidal maniac shirt and black pants...lol. im a good influence. the party itself wasnt that bad...only contained 8 children. and a 20 buck tip. how awesome. and the father was like i like the hair, you got a personality. and i got a complement from them saying to the front deskmen that "shes an excellent hostess" oh yeah. damn straight motherfucker. anyway, so yeah i got off around 5. and then eileen and mike met up with me and we bowled a couple of games, i kinda got yelled at by my boss. die bitch. and then went to ground round for dinner. and i had a good time. it was fun. that waiter though..i really cant. hahaha.
So yeah tina made a decision on a car. 2004 Honda Civic. 2 door. and a cd player. which makes me happy.
now its all of a matter of getting it.
a perfect circle concert will be taking place in five days...i am so fucking pysched.
I love you maynard. hahah.
hmm then i came home, and a guy i know who was in jail returned home. which was cool to see him again.
and then i actually did my homework...thats a shock. haha.

...Or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted

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