27th June 2008

9:33am: ooo...***
I weighed myself and i lost 6 lbs, soo yea, im gonna stick to this diet.
2:07pm: fuck*
So scott tells everyone everything, he told dan about our fight, and he told megan that ant needs some space. So megan made me go to lunch with her, and she grilled me for like about a half hour about how i need to give him some space and get my own friends. She kept banging her hand on the table, i swear i wanted to smack her, and scott needs to shut his mouth for once in his life.

I was talking on the phone with ant, and he asked if i wanted to do something, and he says he has nothing else to do. I said i dont want you to hang out just for the hell of it or because you have nothing else better to do, hes like i didnt mean it like that. But then y say that, i get the feeling im just gonna get blown off alot. I just wish i never ever dated at all, it would be so much easier.
Current Mood: nauseated
8:01pm: ***a lil better
Me and Ant hung out, and i started crying. I told him exactly how i felt and that it felt like he changed. He even admitted he felt like he changed. And we went back to his house and discussed everything that ever annoyed us or made us angry. And it was good, i felt relieved, i hope he did too. I felt the best i had in a few days. So we are both gonna try and just be considerate of each other, i think we both just got caught up in our own emotions we forgot about the other. I told him i dont mind if you want to hang out with your friends, but id like to know if your going to. So he said that was fine. And I want to have a date night at least once a week, which was Megans idea, after she told me to give him space :\ ...Ant even said thats the last time i tell scott anything, cuz scott tells the whole world other peoples problems. Yea and then we had sex lol. It was really good, its the first time it didnt hurt at all. I guess we had sex only like 3 or 4 times before, some not so successful as the others, but i was just like amazed cuz it didnt hurt anymore. It feels different tho, not a bad different, but different.

I'm waiting for danielle to call me, we are gonna make jello shots, my parents are screaming at the top of their lungs for about a half hour now, and i cant take it. I feel sick to my stomach again. No wonder i have so much stress in my life. Calming down and not letting things bother me is not my strong point. I just wish the fighting would stop.
Current Mood: stressed
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