Chrissy's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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(1 impoverish and impotent | don't call me pretty baby)

[29 Jul 2004|11:37pm]
i might write in this again... cuz i'm just that cool.

(1 impoverish and impotent | don't call me pretty baby)

This is my long good-bye [02 Sep 2003|03:34pm]
[ mood | i'm alright ]
[ music | my favorite sunny day real estate ]

Well considering no one writes in here anymore, i think this will be my last entry. This thing used to be a way for you to release your thoughts, connect with your friends, and so on. Nows its just an empty road. I might as well just write in a notebook to release stress. No one really reads this, so a notebook will do just fine. So far my classes are good. I'm already in the school mode. I feel dead but routinely walking around. Today felt weird, kind of like a dream. Things didn't feel real at all. I don't feel real right now. I'm glad that i talked things over with norm. It made me happy. I missed talking to him a lot. I wish i had a larger vocablary because i would be able to explain myself a lot better. I hate highschool, i hate petty situations, i hate groups, i hate its way of life. I love the friends but highschool just makes these things complicated. And my emotions are running crazy. I like my dreads though.

(don't call me pretty baby)

I've never missed you so much in my life... [19 Aug 2003|11:40pm]
[ mood | shaken ]

I just recently found out what happened to peter. I knew that something happened to Phil, but i wasn't sure where or what or how. I'd been trying to get a hold of peter since last wednesday and i finally got a hold of him last night and he told me everything. How the car hit the curb, how the sea breeze had he top down--flipped and phil fell out of the car. He told me how the car landed on top of Phil and how he jumped from the car without a scratch. The day before... peter and i were riding around in the sea breeze, spending the day together. I never would've guessed that Sunday might've been the last day that i'd ever see peter again in my life. I'm so happy that peter is okay. I'm also happy that Phil is doing so well an is home. I'm going to spend part of the day with peter again tomorrow after registration. Hopefully this won't be the last time i see him. I couldn't live with that.

(don't call me pretty baby)

[16 Aug 2003|10:50pm]
I feel empty and you don't care.... you never do.

(don't call me pretty baby)

[16 Aug 2003|08:57pm]
is this next month 'concert month' or something?? Let's see what we have.... Cursive!!! ( my favorite... so people come with me so i can go to d-town. take a hit for the hometeam), Saves the day and taking back sunday and just heard that Hot Hot Heat is coming to town soon. Jeeezzzzzzz i need money

(don't call me pretty baby)

[13 Aug 2003|02:54pm]
[ mood | sad ]

:( i don't feel like going to g-ma's. But its one of those things i've gotta do. Maybe i'll finish those two books i need to read before school starts.... hmmm maybe.

*So why do i think i'm any different? I've been making money on my indifference. We all pass the hat around, 'this is my body', this is the blood i've found.*

(don't call me pretty baby)

i keep my pimpin' hand strong bitch.... [13 Aug 2003|09:58am]
[ music | i'm blowing my schnoze..... ]

I'm leaving for g-ma's tonite. I don't know the exact time i'm leaving but it should be around 6 or 7. So how about we all hang out today because i haven't seen people in awhile. Anyways, if you all don't care... i'm coming home saturday :). I'll be fuckin' fresh and off tha' hook.

(don't call me pretty baby)

.......... [12 Aug 2003|11:11pm]
[ music | staying alive- cursive ]

Okay, cursive is my favorite band now. There is no comparison.

this song makes me want to tear..

(don't call me pretty baby)

[12 Aug 2003|03:52pm]

(don't call me pretty baby)

[11 Aug 2003|11:29am]
Well, here we go again, the art of acting weak. Fall in love to fail to boost your cd sales. You've got to repeat it, you've got to sink to swim. If at first you don't succeed, you gotta recreate your misery. 'Cause we all know art is hard. Young artists have gotta starve. Try, and fail, and try again the comforts of repetition. Keep churning out those hits 'til it's all the same old shit.

(don't call me pretty baby)

I'm not looking for a lover. All those lovers are liars. [10 Aug 2003|10:29pm]
[ music | cursive cd. ]

I don't think i've ever had this much fun. I've been waiting for some more of our great lake crossing memories. I don't think i'll ever forget walking to milford memories to find main street completely empty. Kensington aminals are the cutest shittiest smelling things i've ever seen. Good day today.

*Whatever you need to make you feel, like you've been the one behind the wheel. The sunrise is just over that hill. The worst is over. Whatever i said to make you think that love's the religion of the weak. This morning we love like weaklings. The worst is over*

(don't call me pretty baby)

Eat my dust. [09 Aug 2003|09:57pm]
And as i dance in front of you, i see the look of disappointment. So i stop in mid-shake and freeze in my own flames for i give you the glance of failure. Your silence tears apart my lungs and with every breath i feel your dreams slip through my fingers.

(don't call me pretty baby)

Correction, i know yo' fada. [08 Aug 2003|09:42am]
[ mood | You know ;) ]
[ music | postal service ]

Summers ending. Uncompleted tasks. Still in search for that one party with my bia. I remember waiting for you to call. I need clothes. My uncompleted room is in ruins. Snip Snip and a bit of colour. Hanging with you know who for we know why. Screaming fuck at least one more time. Telling that one person that they're important. Mending ties in Kentucky. Burning bad memories. Getting serious with my black fingers. Speaking my mind in a crowded room. Meeting that one person who makes you wish that you could be better. Dreaming of the past but never the future. Smelling the roses without the flowers. Feeling free while being in the air. Never wanting to leave this town but then leave and never come back. Forget about people who make things harder then they should be. Trying to be yourself even if people think you're being fake for reasons unknown. Never mess with texas. Blast the music so loud that you become deaf in the left ear and sing so loud that you'll nevr be able to speak again.

In fragments, this is my list of things to do and my checklist of things that are already done.

(don't call me pretty baby)

well if its on mutha fucka then its on g [05 Aug 2003|04:14pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | promise ring- make me a mixtape ]

I'm home! Thank gizzle that i'm back in my hizzle. I never want to ride in a car again. Never again. I might just buy a bike. Stephanie and i pimped it out at Six Flags yesterday. In comparison-- Cedar point has better rides but you don't have to wait in line at all at Six Flags. Stephanie and i went on every ride at least 3 times? I finally took out my cornrows... i was hoping that my fro would be a little bit bigger but its a mini one.

I think i've found my dream boy. Phew, i don't think anyone will ever look better in a matchbook romance shirt and a black finch trucker hat. lol stephanie those couldn't have been coinsidences.

I got the wierdest thing in the mail today. I guess a teacher recommended me to go on a sponsered trip to europe for 21 days. Who the hell would recommend me? Its so crazy because i can either go to England, France, Belgum, Germany, Switzerland, or the Netherlands. I gave it to my mom and she starts talking like she wants me to go. She's like "Well i could live without having you for 21 days." "Its gonna cost a lot of money but this looks interesting." Eh... nobody knows. I think everyone gets those though... damn i thought i was special haha

I think when steve gets home from guitar i'm going to call him and take him out for ice cream. He's down about eve and he needs a pick me up and ice cream does the trick. Okay i'm home and i'm already bored. So how about my friends call me so i can hang out with them because i miss everyone. So i know that if you guys don't call then you didn't miss me :( assholes.

(don't call me pretty baby)

give me my memories biatch... [30 Jul 2003|01:24pm]
[ mood | i'm slappin ]
[ music | janeys got a gun... ]

Well it looks like one more day in this ell ole. Long trip tomorrow. Leaving at 8:30 or 9 in the am and stopping around 5? Party. I hope my parents stop in Kentucky so i we can go in mamoth cave. I haven't been there in a couple years and i forgot how cool they were. That, mountains, rivas, and hills that are cut in half so there can be roads established in the middle. Its beautious. Hot, skinney, and tan. Thats what i'll be when i get back... or pale, fat, and ugly. Either one of those, you know :). Haha last night was fun... i love when smelly and i get giddy. Everything ends up being funny. "Yeah,well you know he had a very gumpy penis..." "Penises can be gumpy?" har har har har... This reminds me, when are we getting the band back together? we haven't done that in a couple years. So smell, how about we round up juice and make another big cheese tape before the bro travels to the great beyond. Sound good? Yeah, thats what i thought.

Love me, i'm leaving damnit. K i love my friends bye bye.. i'm going to be southern now.

(3 impoverish and impotent | don't call me pretty baby)

I was just checkin' the rotary on the gurder.... yeah, i'm retarded. [28 Jul 2003|01:12pm]
[ music | theres no music here ]

Today is monday... tomorrow is tuesday... and the day after that is SCUBA STEVE DAY!!! Step and i are going on an adventure to the capital of consumerism--the fucking mall! I'm excited because i've only seen him twice this summer, and twice just doesn't cut it. Not in my book. What book? The unwritten book of the road. Dotay is beautious day outside... and i'm here inside being inside. Maybe i'll burn myself so i can look precious. Who knows maybe i'll be golden brown with a hint of lobster red? You never know it could happen. Thats why those fuckers with their white coats poke holes in your nebula just because they tell you that you could get skin cancer. I mean what is a nebula anyways? Small children hopped up on dope pretending that they're doctors with those little white pants that they have underneath those enormous white coats. Some only have three toes, some have three toes too many.. but who wants a doctor with only three toes? Thats weird. Freak accidents aren't mysteriously freakish anymore. I mean that doctor cut off his toes... and who wants a sick fuck who'd cut off two toes just so he could have three? Not nobody, if ya asks me. I hate doctors... them and they're technical terms. They give you that long name for a disease that you've required and expect you to understand that you're dying. And then by your persistant questioning like "What the hell are you talking about? What is Terpopulosicdeviatinonslifposis?", he's reduced to telling you that you're been diagnosed with 'serious problems' which just make you paranoid because you don't really know how serious it really is until BAM you flop over dead. Don't ever catch terpopulosicdeviatinonslifposis.

(3 impoverish and impotent | don't call me pretty baby)

[27 Jul 2003|07:17pm]
tennessee in 4 days. Bleh. I'm excited that stephanie will be going with me. The drive is long ass but the scenery is beautiful. I'm not too excited to stare at people i don't know. I'm excited to come back with the accent (it happens every time i go down there.. i sound like a hick for at least a week and a half), i'm not excited for it to be 19494284 degrees out, i am excited to play rummy, i'm not excited for barbeque rotting carcus, i am excited for SIX FLAGS! Yeeaaahhh bad ass!!!! Its going to be fun/boring. Stephanie=non boringness, random family that i don't remember=not so non-boringness. I'm going to write postcards. Who wants one!?

*here i go, so dishonestly leave a note for you my only one. And i know, you can see right through me so let me go and you will find someone*

(don't call me pretty baby)

[27 Jul 2003|01:42am]
[ mood | i'm chatty. ]
[ music | brand new- seventy times seven ]

Dude, i've got so much on my mind right now. And considering no ones on, i'll just write it down. Happiness just gets me sometimes. I'm so jealous of the people who can be around each other all the time. I'm jealous how people can find such joy in their relationship, and never leave it. I envy people who find the person they'll be with forever at an early age. I've always wanted to live next door to a boy i'd marry when i'm older. Well those thoughs might be induced my entertainment and movies, but still-- it would be nice. For instance my parents... they started dating when they were 16. And they've been married for 27-28 years now? They've broken up two or three times, but they could never do it for real. That makes me jealous because my parents are so in love with each other. When laura and i were up north, we met this little 6 year old boy who came to play badminton with us by the basketball hoops. He was sayin the randomest things to us like "My ice cream was this big", and "I'm going to marry my friend". He started telling us about this little girl that he quote unquote 'loved' back at home. Her name was Megan and he was telling us about how they were boyfriend and girlfriend and how he planned to marry her when he was older. Mind you, he was only six but honesly, how sweet would that be if they actually got married. I love stories like that. Maybe i'm just a sucker for the romance ideals that are too unrealistic to actually happen in real-life. I'm smitten with those little retarded love movies that make love appear so easy and carefree. They make it seem so romantic, so lasting, so pure. But its all on the screen. None of it would really happen. I'm always afraid of being alone when i'm older. I know that i'm only 16 and that i have the rest of my life to be satisfied with love and romance... but i just get that feeling, ya know? I want to find someone where i can be like "yep, thats the one. Thats the one that i'm in love with." I really want to fall in love. I always see people walk around, happy as can be. Awhile ago, i saw an old couple holding hands walking out of walmart. And then i saw a younger couple at the mall laughing with each other and smiling and it just made me think, "damn--wouldnt' that be nice." I always try and shun myself for thinking about love. Wanting to fall in love at an early age, or just wanting to be special to someone. More of a materialistic aspect of my life, i guess. A topic that shouldn't be as important to me. People always tell me, you don't need to be in a realtionship at an age like this. Live a little, look around.. don't be attached. I know that it isn't necessary, but can't you live while being in someones presense? Can't two people enjoy the greastest aspects of life together? Can't life be an experiance shared by two people? You can experiance life with friends, but its not the same experiance you have when you're with someone who means the world to you in that 'more than a friend' kind of way. I dont know, i'm in the mood to get things off my mind. Lauras talking to joey-poo. Cute kids, right there. I give it a thumbs up. But whatever, i dont know... i'm chatty. Its fun talking to yourself.

(2 impoverish and impotent | don't call me pretty baby)

I love nights like tonight [27 Jul 2003|12:48am]
[ mood | That's right.... ]
[ music | jets to brazil - ]

I dont think that i've ever had so much fun as i did today. Laura and i ended up getting lost on our way to the beach. We got off on the wrong exit and we ended up going through kensington. We had to make u-turns about two or three times. It was nice to see Bekki. I haven't seen her since her graduation party, and thats a long time.

Chase's suprise party was really good. It was nice to have an actual suprise party where the person was truely suprised. We scared the crap out of him. Laura and i stayed at Chases party for about three hours and then we went on to Shannon's party for a couple hours. It was rather amusing. We took a dip in her pond and we played some crazy scatogory games. "Name something sticky-- A hemorid" "Name a personality trait-- A-holes". I want that game. Its so much fun. Lauren Tessoff was there with her boyfriend. They're so nice to each other. Watching people like that make me miss having a relationship. I miss having someone to care about. I miss lauging with someone. I look at happy people like that and i get jealous because i don't have that anymore, and then i think about all the bullshit that can happen and it just makes me want to hide in a hole and never get involved. Sometimes i think that i'm going to grow up and never get married. I'll pass up someone that i'll truely love and then be a crippled up spinster with a million cats. I'll be crazy too... a crazy short old woman with a walking stick and an oxygen tank chasing the childern off my damn lawn. That'll be me. I don't know, i miss it... but i don't really have anything worth missing. I dont' really have anyone worth missing. And i know that i'm probably not missed either.

On other notes, i tripped getting into john's jeep tonight. Damn first- aid kits.

(don't call me pretty baby)

[26 Jul 2003|10:28am]
Bekki called me yesterday... party at the beach man! I'm so excited... i haven't been to island lake in a long time. It'll be foon. Chase's party starts @ 6. Hopefully he'll be suprised. Last night stephanie, sam and i spent the night outside. It was pretty nice. I like sleeping outside, its rather calming. Stephanie told me that she saw dan driving on her way to see 'the parents'. I miss dan. I haven't seen him in 2 weeks. Damn parents jippin' me out of guitar. Bastards. Oh well, next week will be schweet. The band is back together! Cumminnayeaha! I seriously go to guitar to hang out with that guy. Well to play guitar mostly, but i could hang out with him. He's the man.

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