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[28 Feb 2007|10:39pm] |
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maybe i should focus on falling back in love with me, not you, since that's who i'll be with forever
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[26 Oct 2006|08:51pm] |
it's like riding a bike. right? first one foot, and then the other. balance yourself. look ahead, don't look back, and, whatever you do, don't look down.
...maybe not.
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[10 Jun 2006|10:09pm] |
even all the best things keep fading into grey
and i'm stuck looking for bright colors.
did i dream it this way?
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[09 Dec 2005|11:40pm] |
i realized it wasn't me. i'm not a quitter. moreover, i love debate. i miss it. i love the people, i miss them. and i'm going, damnit.
i'm going to utah even though i suck at skiing.
i'm going to loma.
i'm going to vegas (vegas, baby!).
i'm going to whitman even though walla walla sucks (despite the name).
i'm going to be my own person, damn it.
the only thing that i'll let enclose me will be your arms.
eventually you'll let go. and you'll leave.
but i won't. why should i leave me behind now if you're going to leave me behind eventually?
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[23 Aug 2005|09:07pm] |
grasping at straws
stumbling around
staring at photos that remind me of
something thoughtful, something true
i tear up the map
stare straight ahead
hold my breath and close my eyes
jump into the lukewarm abyss
it seems you left me here all on my own
my feet weren't quite ready for walking
so, here i am, i'm falling
ahead of where i should be
behind where i could be
somewhere around where i would be, if life was mine to decide
flick my butane lighter
set the map afire
and laugh as it falls
a little bit slower than i do
try to keep afloat
just keep losing track
of where i am and where i go
i close my eyes and jump
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[13 Mar 2005|09:36pm] |
mama told me i just gotta sit back and wait
watch the world as it spins
wait for it to slow down
take a deep breath and dive back in
dad just said to smell the roses
live for the sweet perfume
success and failure just don't matter
ecstasy and impending doom
i've never been one for fading softly
into the quiet night
my dreams are always pretty lofty
but sitting back just doesn't sit right
so i hopped into my car
with my notebook and guitar
wanted to go and see the world
give this living thing a whirl
but things keep spinning on and on
goin forth without me
somewhere in there i fell right off
but things just kept on rolling...
got to california
saw the sun set in the bay
took a deep breath looked up at the stars
watched my dreams fade off between orion's bars
ocean winds are cold enough
but life is colder still
growing up is not so hot
i think i feel like jumpin off...
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[28 Feb 2005|11:07pm] |
searching in the static silence
for peace that isn't there
in a hug, a loving glance
there's nothing but blank stares
as things change
i cling to remnants
things that were
things i wanted to be
dreams that won't come true
as i look up to the stars
the constellations change from august to april
it seems the only thing that's permanent
is the change that's in the water
and so i dive
deeper and deeper in my mind
searching for memories that don't exist
dreams that i won't ever find
walking through the forest
i stand tall among the trees
but once i leave such quiet retreat
cement continues to scrape my knees
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[24 Nov 2004|01:34am] |
Letters never answered
Maybe never read
Thoughts that keep remembering things outside my head
Things not yet forgotten – yet
Not remembered quite
Things that never do get silenced
Sing throughout the night
I’m over you
But nothing’s changed
The days still go
The clouds still rain
The sky still smiles, but not as bright
As when you did reflect it
Is this how it ends?
A screaming fight
A lot of lies
Insecurities brought to fruition
I know there’s more, and yet
I’m ready to forget
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[14 Oct 2004|08:16pm] |
slowly losing faith in the things i used to see
grasping for the reason for the way things have to be
fooled me once, i cried all night
you fooled me twice...
look for things that just aren't there
things that matter and people who care
bah, so fucking mad...
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[12 Oct 2004|12:26pm] |
here in some ways, not in others
looking at the stars
listening to chopin
thinking you're so far
i just want to hold your hand
a comfort felt with no one else
a love worth more than life itself
when two chaotic souls collide
inexpressed needs are satisfied
alone for now, and sitting home
surrounded by memories of places gone
and things not meant to be
dreaming of you, dreaming of me
guess i'll have to see
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[28 Aug 2004|01:22am] |
falling into and out of a lazy frustration
filled with thoughts of better days
hearing laughter but feeling tears
stuck in an endless haze
emotions take a long vacation
and people drift away
my head's filled with radiation
and i can't see the day
i'm waiting for something to come
don't know who just yet
something's coming, coming fast
is it worth the bet?
someone's out there
just the same
different places, different names
same old shit
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[18 Aug 2004|06:19pm] |
memories fade with daylight
laughters quiet with the falling dark
anger subsides as i forget
exactly what it was you said
force you out of my head
and take it day by day
but nostalgia's what i seem to dread
that never goes away
a simple smell, a soft caress
a look across a space
a lingering hug, a longer kiss
forgetting your sweet face
moving on without you now
seems rather hard to do
but i've realized what's important now
i live for me, not you
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[16 Aug 2004|03:32pm] |
dearest dynamic silence
trapped between the lines
of poetry and persecution
of ever ticking time
flowing by the looks of loves
that never are quite gone
like tears upon a tender cheek
that last until the dawn
continuing on throughout the days
and social reveries
smiling like nothing's going on
and no one has to choose
ringing clearly in the laughs
more vaguely with the tears
memories, at first fleeting back,
are trapped among the years
the silence pounds like a beating heart
but heartless as a stone
hanging forever in between us
so that we're each alone
tomorrows come and then they go
memories and photos fade
silence slowly is replaced
with laughter once again
never can forget the things you said to me
but more the things you didn't say
the way you glanced up anxiously
and quickly walked away.
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[27 Jul 2004|10:48pm] |
drinking the night
doesn't seem right
because as far as you are
i'm still clawing at stars
i wish and i dream
that nothing's as it seems
but it all comes back down
and i start to drown...
if things would change
if tomorrow would come
if you'd listen to me
maybe i wouldn't run
...but i do
all i can do is try
to keep two dry eyes
while you look away
things aren't as they seem
but i'll continue to dream
for today
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| sleepy blue rambling |
[29 Mar 2004|02:53pm] |
this silver solemn sweet surrender
that passes by my opened eyes
fades away as sweet lips render
tales of enchanting lullabyes
dreams light afar, but further still
are visions of things to come
of clouds and nymphs and water syphs
and sounds of beating drums
my body silent with heart afire
the sunset's burning gaze
that does instruct me to admire
things much like a waking haze
But dawn's bright shimmer does send
the moon to its pale retreat
While dreams themselves may never end
the two should never meet
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[25 Dec 2003|07:48pm] |
i get so nervous
i get so scared
i get so worried about
things that come and things that never quite turn out
he just smiles
tells me that life's never quite the same from day to day
that if you don't look fast it all seems to fade away
with eyes that pierce and a smile that's biting
he burns into my soul
laughs and tells me it's not that hard
to figure out who you are and where you fit
wherever you go, he says, there you'll be
and i wonder why he bothers talking to me
the days go by
his smile fades
but his words still cast the blame
the offer stands where he once was
shit, i'll never be the same
life goes on the sky gets dark
and i keep movin on
never knowin where to go
or what i left behind
he smiles and says it's just a game
do or don't, it's all the same
just give it all you've got
be someone you're not
and keep movin on
i go from day to day
smiles fade and faces change
but i never can quite catch
the one i can't seem to chase
i run and run
he's still right there
smiling, laughing, pretending to care
give it all you've got
be someone you're not
win the game, it's all the same
run the faceless lot
something in his eyes defies all explanation
i can't quite see or seem to be
whenever he's around
it seems to me that some things change
and others stay around
all i know is where i go
what i've lost and found
he smiles and says you'll never win
i say i'll never try
life's not meant to blow away
just to drift
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[09 Dec 2003|11:09pm] |
note: ok, those last two were sloppy, it's finals week, and i'm just kind of venting.
i'll polish later.
though the best kind of poetry doesn't need to be polished... at the same time, though, i haven't exactly been moved to write in a while. i'm rusty, and tonite time dictated more than true inspiration. thus, i'll probably change those two once i find the right words...
at any rate, not to break character :)
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[09 Dec 2003|11:04pm] |
your tousled hair
questioning eyes
mischievous smile
a constant surprise
that leaves me wanting so much more
my smile's bright when you're around
laughter rings forever
i just can't help but sing
when i'm in your arms
you're not around
you're hard to touch
and harder to see
i dream about you way too much
smiles fade and laughter quiets
friendships disappear
as people walk away
but still my daydreams stay...
your eyes are in the shining stars
embrace is the warm sun
your laughter's in the song i dream
that never does get sung
haven't met you yet, i guess
some think i should jump ship
i know you're out there somewhere, though
and for this i'll give my best
compromise makes life a joke
and happiness does fleet
so i'll just keep on keepin on
dreaming this same dream
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[09 Dec 2003|10:30pm] |
the shining cold defines the day
freezing moments and ice-cold stares
but all i can remember
is the way you toss your hair
things keep changing, moving on
listening to the same old songs
different places, newer faces
but still the same old shit.
i smile when you laugh at me
sit and grin and bear it
your laughs tear into my very soul
i smile all the same
i tell myself it's different now
that my heart is now my own
but i know it's not the case
everytime i see your eyes
i can't help but long for the taste
of your kiss
life keeps moving
seasons change
but i remember this:
the world is mine, my heart is thine, but still the same old shit.
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[18 Oct 2003|01:41am] |
sittin on the corner
staring at the street
wondering why the lonely never seem to meet
the ones they want to find
am i different?
is this new?
same things come and sane things go
as it all fades to blue
watching all the people
walking all alone
thinking of all the hours i waited for the phone
that never seemed to ring
you laugh so heartily, smiling bright
but your eyes give you away
we all suffer the same plight
every single fucking day
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