[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Wednesday, August 20th, 2003|
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. T
he teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher He would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were told to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."
The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Teacher: "What do men do standing up, woman do sitting down and dogs do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Shake hands"
Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."
Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." (Principal was looking restless and bit tense)
Harry: "Wedding Ring"
Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me, you feel good."
Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his ass in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."
|Tuesday, August 19th, 2003|
Care to Go Upstairs??
A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.
"Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.
"Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"
So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?"
"No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.
When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"
"No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand." Current Mood: amused
they say that when u let things go
and they return that it is meant to be
u was gone for almost a year
and still seem to remember me
i was so surprised to hear from u
that u still cared
thinking about the conversations
and that special kiss we shared
i want to hold u
be able to look into ur eyes
to lay down in central park
and look up at the sky
sit there and day dream
of things to become
sharing sumthing special
that might be difficult for some
u make me smile
and make me feel at ease
i love the way ur face looks
when u call me a tease
this is written just for u
sumthing i wrote from the depths of my heart
hopefully we wont lose touch
or ever fall apart
"The new language for the ghettofied"
~B2B=Bout to bounce (no more g2g, who says that?)
~2DF=Too damn funny (no more lmao, NOBODY says that on a reg. basis)
~HU=Hold up (no more brb, it just looks ugly)
~SSA=SEX/STATE/AGE (Asl was getting kind of old My grandfather knew what it meant!)
~ICU= I am cracking up! (No more lol, that word was annoying aZ hell)
WP?/WG?/WRG?/WU?=What's popping?/What's good?/What's really good?/What's up? (There never was a greeting for Aol so lets have one for AAOL.
1/2 cup witch hazel
6-8 drops of pepperment essential oil
1. Pour the ingredents into a bottle.
2. Cap it tightly, then shake to mix completely.
How to Apply a Toner;
Buy 100% cotton cosmetic pads to apply.
Pour enouhg toner onto the pad to dampen it, almost completly.
Run the toner-soaked pad over your face, avoiding eyes and mouth. If toner does get into eyes, rince with water as soon as possible. Current Mood: artistic