kate...just plain kate...'s Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] kate...just plain kate... [ website | lj icons & friends only banners...for now.. ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

solemn. [02 Nov 2004|03:37pm] [ mood | sad ] i've been away for quite some time. things are going OK for me. i hope it stays that way. but i also bear bad news. if you don't want to read a negative post, don't go behind the cut. ( ramblings ) sad things happen. but i also have to learn to look at the bright side. we're gonna have a baby in a few weeks. 1 comment|post comment

thesis. [21 Oct 2004|07:56am] [ mood | annoyed ] damn. jammy just requested me NOT to enroll in thesis 2 next term... so much for graduating on time.. hell.. maybe i should start getting a job.. just so i could shed out the money we need for the damned thesis.. any ideas? 1 comment|post comment

paranoia [18 Oct 2004|11:59am] [ mood | amused ] nope. im not paranoid. it just had to ask, why are people paranoid? is it because they're guilty? or..it's just that..paranoia in the raw? weird.. anway, vj and i have to interview karlo kampos at 1pm.. sidenote: miss sherley, you're an angel we will DEFINITELY miss you... T_T i think we'll have a really short quiz for filipi..which sucks, coz im not in the mood.. bleh.. anyway, i wanna play ragna all daaaaay! my hunter is damn pretty! ^___________^ see my wide smile? by bought her a hunter's bow and tights (not slotted, man they're expensive with that slot!) and now she's dealing bigger damage.. to think that her hunter's bow is not yet upgraded... midgard, just you wait till i get that upgraded... *wide evil grin here please* ragnarok the animation is really cute.. i want to finish it already.. hehehe! ^_^ hmm..my pc is still busted, well it's just the ram but the pc won't start without the ram anyway.. i still have to wait for my dad to give me money.. T_T *sadness* green&white 5hr residency a week, i have to finish this fast.. i really really REALLY want to start with the thesis.. it's not as if we haven't done ANYTHING yet.. i just wanna go hardcore.. argh..damn money is always the problem... to all the descendants of the person/people who invented money.. i curse you to be constipated for the rest of your liiiiiiiives!!! *evil laughter here please* gotta scram! toodles! sidenote: one day to go... post comment

oh yeah... [16 Oct 2004|02:26pm] this is a good one..this is the signature of one person who posted in ragnaboards! The longer one holds on to a memory... the longer one lives in the past. The deeper the memory they hold onto is... the more beautiful the past will become. Those beautified memories will eventually turn into hate... Even if they look ahead, they lose the ability to walk. As long as the heavy chain called Revenge continues to fetter the heart. As long as the tears of sadness continue to flow... --Rane Icewalker :: Ragnaboards post comment

dumdeedum.. [16 Oct 2004|02:22pm] [ mood | calm ] i woke up extra early today to watch the basketball game!!! sadly we lost.. di bale, bawi kayo next time ;) good thing mich & company won the volleyball match... *whew* they're really good! ^_^ anyway, i'm done with my residency but by isn't yet so i have to wait for about an hour more.. so what's up? well, my RAM is now officially completely totally insanely busted.. craaaaap.. other than that things are doing quite ok! oops, gotta go... editors aboard! toooodles! ;) post comment

tangina. [12 Oct 2004|05:46am] [ mood | angry ] tanginang buhay to... - wala akong pera. - i need at least 2500 for RAM - i need around 2500 for video card ilang beses ko ba sinabi sa sambayanang pilipinas na walang exam today? may naniwala ba??? kelangan pa malaman na sinabi daw ni Sharon at nakikinig yun. so ano ako? inutil! nangangarap na walang exam? o tingin nyo lang talga gago ako. tangina. post comment

i thought.. [10 Oct 2004|04:46pm] [ mood | mellow ] i think it was EXTREMELY obvious that i was in a very cranky mode for the past days... well, the days before friday was mostly because of my PC and money... damn money... last friday was different... VERY very different... as my subject says.. "i thought.." why? i thought i was OVER with everything that happened more than a year ago.. i was dead wrong.. a friend of ours from green&white made me realize just that.. thank you... i hope you're ok now.. the thing is, i think someone is messing with her... the whole thing made her forcibly close down her blog..maybe for a while or maybe, forever..we don't really know.. i was really surprised when i read her last entry, it was screaming about closing her blog because of someone.. i think she's a really nice person so if someone pissed her off that bad, he/she should be really bad.. so i went to her blog and added a comment to the post saying... *insert name here*!!! but why? why do we have to suffer the same fate? (you should see my ANCIENT blog) i closed my blog because of..someone..i hope you're okay.. after that, things went on with life as usual, until last friday.. i passed my sister's application form at csb.. i was about to get her a form from st scho but it started raining so i thought i would just let it pour down and spend some time at the green&white office..i owe jatts a BUNCH of hours.. T_T so up i went... and she was there.. i was surfing the net when she sat beside me and asked me why i closed down my blog.. so i started explaining.. that part..explaining..was easy.. but thinking about everything that i said after explaining, was hard.. i went to the old blogs..mine and those that i found.. and when i started reading the words..it just happened.. a huge pang of pain in the stomach.. not to mention another bout of self-pity and more of negative self-confidence level.. it felt really awful.. and that really put me down the entire day.. it even came to the point that i was avoiding bonakid coz i knew that i would go to pieces if he asks me what's wrong.. i was dwelling on the entire thing when i suddenly realized something.. maybe i was born a bad person.. someone who destroys friendships.. someone who makes people angry.. someone who is always the cause of trouble.. somone..bad.. i can't help it.. that night, while by&i were waiting for a bus ride home i wasn't able to avoid the heart wrenching question.. what's wrong? it took all my self-control to stop myself from crying, but it seems like my eyes have a brain of their own.. the tears just fell..and my mind went blank.. it was all fuzzy, i can't even remember what i said.. all i knew is that i was trying to stop from crying but i can't..i have no idea why but i can't.. but i do remember asking by: "masama ba akong tao?" he asked me why such a question..what made me think that i'm bad.. i can't explain it because i was too busy trying to stop the tears..and also because i can't really explain why.. but all that crying, it made me feel better.. it made me feel loved even more (yeah, i thought it wasn't possible to feel even more loved but apparently, or should i say thankfully, it is possible..) i don't have answers for my own questions, but i do know one thing.. i should take joy with what i have, with my friends, with my family with everything there is to be happy about.. i should move on, and put the past behind..because that is all it is, it's BEHIND..and it should not stop me from going forward.. and i should never EVER take revenge on anyone.. and also from today onwards, i promise not to meddle with my friends' business..it's their business, not mine..so unless they ask for my help..i'm out..end of story.. i am in a very difficult place.. hurt by so many people..hated by so many people.. yet, i do not intend to do/feel either.. oh yeah, to my green&white friend..thanks..i guess i needed that talk..and it's really funny when we find someone that we'll get to know TOO well that it's really insane to think that the two of you might end up together..the mere thought is just insanely hilarious..hehehe! i saw your duckie is back *really really really cute duckie!!!* i hope you're ok..remember, don't let a single bug that squashed into your car's windshield stop your car..it's just a bug! ;) to my by..i love you to bits.. *hug* 4 comments|post comment

saturday..all day! [09 Oct 2004|02:24pm] [ mood | amused ] yeah, today is hectic.. started off with the BJMP seminar which was extremely boring.. grabe! anyway... the seminar on photoshop today was interesting.. makes me wanna revive my website.. hahahahahaha! anyway, we'll see if this inspired me enough actually start a new layout.. haha! so there.. bonakid went with his thesis mates this afternoon.. they have to buy a computer (an entire set) and a hub.. hmm..i hope we'll get to play ragna..oh pleeeeease... coz i REALLY want to.. anyway, i gotta go experiment on photoshop some more.. toodles! post comment

because im boring... [08 Oct 2004|11:16am] [ mood | angry ] i hate YOU!!! I HATE YOU PC FOR SCREWING UP BIG TIME!!! I HAAAAAAAATE YOOUUUUUUU! post comment

dumdeedum.. [07 Oct 2004|12:06pm] [ mood | hopeful ] today.. i hope.. - things will turn out ok.. - i would be able to do something significant.. - i would be able to finish at least 2hrs of residency in green&white.. ...and so i hope... it's quarter past twelve (did i say that right? time check-> 12:15) i'm not hungry, probably because of the hotdog on bun i ate at the bus.. lscs flash presentation for tomorrow (which is due today) is cancelled.. good.. i needed to hear that.. i want to play ragna.. just for the heck of it.. hmm..i think i have time tomorrow.. /gg i want to drink..not hard drink..just..drink.. maybe a quickly strawberry ice & green apple ice with nata, a mocha frapp, sago&gulaman or maybe a melon juice.. hmm..what's with me and liquid today? i dunno.. but i think i really have to go.. .and i also have to find gerome.. *geromeeeeee! save my pc T_T* that's all.. ciao! post comment

pwede ba? [04 Oct 2004|10:37am] pwede bang umiyak for no reason? kasi gusto ko lang.. pero..magaalala sya.. wag na nga lang.. magulo lang talga ang buhay.. mabait si God..ako yung masama.. ...39 messages in 3 days... loser noh? but i got this message and the following just struck me: "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." ..golf balls..or maybe i should i dentify my golf balls first.. right now, my mayo jar is half full with sand.. *goes out to throw the sand, then put the golf balls in* that's better.. ^_^ i'm missing on a bazillion things..what's bothering me is that i don't really want to miss out on them..so what the hell is wrong? me? probably..so what do i do? everthing is just..CRAZY..i mean, thesis..studies..orgs..and stuff on the side.. it's really crazy and i don't know what to do anymore.. sorry kung ang negative ng mga posts ko recently.. pero ang gulo lang talga.. post comment

left behind. [25 Sep 2004|01:28pm] [ mood | sad ] it's just so scary. to be left behind that is. probably because i've been left behind by so many people so many times for so many reasons before. and yet it still scares me. when your friend trades your friendship just to be able to sit at the "in" table. that hurts. when your friend starts ignoring you because they're getting popular and you're still a dork. that hurts. when your friend suddenly becomes popular and tells everyone jokes about you. that hurts. when your friend stabs you from behind. that hurts. when your friend twists a story about the two of you so you will be the bad guy. that hurts. when they leave you behind because they don't want to be seen with a total dork, that is you. that hurts. when they leave you behind. that hurts. when you've been hurt too many times before. that is scary. because you become numb. just as sarahlissa: you become cold hearted, un-involved, distant “friend”. people start to avoid you. they don't give you a chance. what they don't know is that. what they are doing is twisting you to be the bad person that they heard you were. or maybe, i'm the one who is choosing my friends. maybe? probably. so that i wouldn't get left behind anymore. only to realize that they'll leave me. yeah. great choice kate! so what now? i have friends who are still here for me. despite the fact that im difficult to get along with. they're still here. and God knows how much i love them. if they leave me. i don't know what i would do. so why the sudden "drama" post? sarahlissa's post just hit me. and it hit me hard. kind of a wake up call for me. sort of telling me... "hey look around! how many friends have you got? you're not only difficult to deal with. you're also a BITCH! don't you get it? the world does not revolve around you. so don't expect ANYONE to stay." it's not the number of friends. it's the fact that i HAVE friends. and i hope, these guys would stay. please. im begging you. stay. but if you really have to leave. then i can't do anything about it. 1 comment|post comment

deep shit. [25 Sep 2004|12:57pm] [ mood | bitchy ] yup, im in deep shit. don't ask why. don't ask how. shit. crap. feces. stool. tae. i feel bitchy now so if you wanna mess with me, make sure you'll be able to handle the consequences. i still have a bunch of stuff to do. it's insane. and i MEAN insane. im having another migraine attack. geez, it's freaking hot! maybe i should open the air-con. but that would be expensive. oh well. so here's my to-do list - PHILHIS - thesis - LSCS - thesis - FILIPI2 - thesis - RELSFOR - hair cut! damn! kung ano pa minor subjects yun pa pasaway, madaming requirements at makain sa oras. bwiset. 16 hours of work tapos qc lahat. tangina naman eh, taga las pinas ako eh! kayo kaya magtry bumyahe? tapos yung iba ayaw ng sabado. pucha ibagsak nyo nalang ako. masyadong papansin. yesterday i was really pissed off. you see, someone sold their tickets to us. we grabbed it even if it costs 75 bucks each (it was supossed to be 50 bucks each only) i mean, being the total loser that i am. i haven't watched a single game LIVE yet. oh yeah, and im a senior already. shout out LOOOOOSSSSEEEEERRRR!!! so i grabbed the damn offer. we paid for the tix and went jamming downstairs. after a few hours and a bunch of songs with food in between. this *someone* rang my fone, the number wasn't registered so i didn't care. then *someone* texted telling us that they want the tickets back because their significant other wanted to watch. i asked bonakid to reply coz i was, well not in the mood to handle the situation. then *someone* called, bonakid answered the phone and tried to negotiate. but he gave in so he asked them to meet us downstairs. i don't blame him, because i would've done the same. so *someone* approaches, i get the tix they give us our money back and apologizes a hundred times over. but i think it was damn obvious that i didn't like the situation so i told bonakid that i'll have to submit my sister's application form just to get away from where we are. he agreed and i was saying that it was ok. hello? as if i could do anything about it. so what the heck? it was saddening coz before we left, *someone* was still there and they told me that they asked their significant other yesterday and they said they don't want to watch on sunday. but lo and behold! they suddenly decided that they want to watch. thank you very much. hindi ako galit, sad lang ako... but i just have to say this. i don't think i want to make a deal with you if i can help it. just imagine if you sold that to a scalper? do you think they'll let you get those tix again? no, you'll have to buy it at an EXTREMELY high price. so what if i WAS a scalper? tsssssk... buti nalang matino akong tao. good luck. im gonna get my hair cut later. it's gonna be really short. i think if people will ask me if im being rebellious i'd probably say yes. whatever. i watched my sassy girl again. it was nice. really really nice. sick cycle carousel. everything is just that. nakakasawa na. ang tagal na nito. ewan ko kung kelan matatapos. sana lang matapos na. kasi nakakasawa at nakakapagod na. if i'd have to be the bad guy, i WILL be. matapos lang to. please lang. matapos na sana to. post comment

... [22 Sep 2004|05:12pm] [ mood | pissed off ] another day is about to end. today was damn hectic. it started out with PHILHIS at 7, RELSFOR at 810, PYCOLA2 at 930, green&white general assembly at 1, thesis demo at 230 and FILIPI2 at 340. so how exactly did it go? uhm, sorry but i have to bore you to death with this one coz im really pissed. yeah. selfish evil mean me! so what the heck? philhis was okay. rels...i was freaking drowsy the whole hour... >.< green&white ga was ok, it was fuN! ^_^ thesis demo...NEXT EVENT PLEASE!!! yeah, pantola really (AND I MEAN REALLY) pissed me off... filipi2 was okay. so that's my entire day.. you may whack me now.. post comment

sadness at its worst [18 Sep 2004|03:38am] [ mood | sad ] yesterday...DID NOT GO WELL... so how was it exactly? morning - i was a few minutes late for philhis, although this wasn't taken against me uhhh i feel really bad about it because our prof heard me last wednesday say that "i hate history'. *twiddles her fingers* i am so stupid. but then again, i DO hate history. =p - rels was. funny. in it's own weird way, but i didn't really enjoy it. noon - deric, jp & alvin went *somewhere*. deric taught jp how to play gunbound (of course i made jp promise to teach me. mwuahahahahah! cute kasi ng sounds eh =p) while alvin watched. - while those three were elsewhere, i was with my by eating lunch in chowking and maaaaan ang takaw ko kahapon pramis! i devoured a merienda sized spareribs meal (with iced tea) and 3.5 pcs of siomai (i made by eat half a piece but he was really full already so i didn't give him the other half) - by and i had a LOOOOOOOOOOONG very enjoyable talk. actually, he was talking most of the time (i made him! =p) he told me his ENTIRE high school love life story (which he thinks is weird. hmm. im the girlfriend and i MADE him tell ME about his past crushes/likes/niligawan. hmm. weird?) mind you i actually enjoyed that! and he thinks im torturing him. hahaha! by, past na yun. wala na yun dba? so ok lang talga. ^_^ afternoon - went up to sps 503 for our residency (green&white. meron pa bang iba??? =p) - taught by how to play tong its (with er!!! ^_^) - played a few round of tong its - played 1-2-3 pass with kris, er, kellyn, albert g & by - then mich came in but kellyn & albert g went to their class. - played a few more rounds of 1-2-3 pass - ces came in and she (along with mich&kris) taught us how to play "good morning queen" & pineapple (i have no idea why it's called pineapple XP) - then came the bad news... OUR MINI-ITX EPIA TC IS BUSTED! THE DAMN THING COST US MORE THAN 13000 PESOS AND I HAVEN'T EVEN PAID JP YET!!! yeah, we had it for three days and then the computer lab power supply decided to play a trick on us by sunddenly changing its output voltage from the usual 12volts to 30volts (24 volts was the highest safe voltage level) IN SHORT WE'RE SCREWED! jammy already ordered a new motherboard. fed-ex is going to deliver it and if both companies (fed-ex and the mini-itx distributor) are true to their word, we will get the damn thing by next week (earliest is tuesday) BUT we have a demo on wednesday and sir pantola is going to be REALLY angry when he finds out that we weren't able to do ANYTHING at all. yeah, we're screwed. by, thank you so much. i love you to bits! happy 7th month in advance. ^_^ 1 comment|post comment

this is not easy... [16 Sep 2004|05:11pm] [ mood | sad ] yes, this is NOT easy... for everyone... why? i know that it has been answered... but i just don't understand... or maybe, i just don't want to understand... yeah...maybe... i guess that's the problem with us, people... we choose not to understand... Lord help us... help us all... 1 comment|post comment

school school school... [15 Sep 2004|02:49pm] [ mood | annoyed ] oh geez... yeah, we're back.. there's green&white, lscs, ba and of course thesis (oh yeah, all the other subjects in between) well.. mwf sucks... i have to be school before 7am.. im not exactly a morning person anymore so this one is HARD! T_T and then th... well, so-so.. i've got 2 consecutive classes starting at 1pm... *sigh* in other news, i have my mom's fone... don't ask why... T_T we already have our motherboard (for the thesis) and a thesis room... HOWEVER, we need to demonstrate SOMETHING by next week... waaaaaaaaat??? we haven't started yet... in short..we're screwed AGAIN... right now, im inside the g&w office trying to kill time... residency hours din ah! i've got a few minutes left before my awfully boring filipi2 class... oh yeah, i hate history but philhis is looking good except for the fact that it's damn early... T_T post comment

[12 Sep 2004|09:10pm] [ mood | blah ] i think i've gone through so much already. yeah, that's what i thought. i am dead wrong. yeah. dead wrong. but i gotta hold on till this crazy ride is over. i don't care what anyone thinks for as long as im not guilty. end of story. 1 comment|post comment

pass... [10 Sep 2004|09:18am] [ mood | jubilant ] yup, we just got the last signature yesterday... but we did not officially pass YET... we still have to give a letter to mr pantola requesting for a change of grades... i guess me&jp are left with that since alvin has to go to the doctor and jammy is NOT responding to my messages AGAIN... anyway, at least we got a pass in our docu... but i DO need to get a pass in my course card.. i have to pass a photocopy to jatts to determine my gpa and if i am still eligble to stay in green&white... which thankfully i am... ^_^ i just remembered a funny thing, jp&i were waiting for our mobotic course cards and we were computing our grades...here's the dialog... jp: 1.0 lang kelangan, 2.0 na gpa ko. me: talga? ayos ah, ako nga..try ko compute... *me computes grade* me: waaaah! at least 1.5 kelangan ko!!! 1.999 gpa ko kapag 1.0 mobotic... jp: teka,patingin course cards... *looks at course cards then computes* jp: o pareho kaya tayo ng grade! me: o??? tignin... *looks at the calcu* me: e di ibig sabihin kelangan mo din ng 1.5 sa mobo! *me laughs* jp: ay shet. oo nga noH! *course cards are distributed* jp: WOOOHOOO! 1.5!!!!! me: ako kaya? *i receive course card* me: yessss! HINDI AKO TANGGAL NG GREEN&WHITE!!! uy, pareho tayo gpa. hahahahahhaha! *jp laughs* ganun ba pag madalas kasama? pati gpa ba magkapareho?? hahaha! thesis mates talga. si alvin madaya antaas ng grades eh. wala lang, nakakatwa lang kasi karamihan sa grades namin pareho tapos recently madalas pa kami magkasama because of thesis and stuff on the side. ang kulet. anyway, so kami nnman ang magkasama today.. /swt HUNTER NA KO!!!! mapaparagna kami nito ng di oras eh. takh! pero la ako money, so unless ililibre nya ko.. /gg nyahahahahah! cge, gotta go and finish that letter... toodles! post comment

to paradise and back. [04 Sep 2004|07:43pm] [ mood | happy ] two days. yeah for 2 freaking days i was in paradise. good grief, i can't even describe the beauty of pranjetto hills. it's like the "shire" as bonakid would like to call it. it's like this, when you step out of our room a HUGE mountain filled with tall green trees will greet you and it's just so beautiful. haaay. wish i had a cam with me, but i was either preoccupied or just plain stupid to remember to bring one. well, lotsa people brought their cams (which were thankfully digital) so lotsa pictures will be uploaded. yayness! ^_^ so what happened? well, i wasn't really expecting to have sooooooooo much fun. i just thought it would be fun. plain. but i was darn wrong. from our departure from la salle to our trip back, we were all smiles. laughing. talking. singing. yup, i had the time of my life! i met a bunch of great people. not that i was not acquainted with them before hand. it's just that i never got to interact with them inside the office. but im glad i came and i got to know them better. at least now when we see each other, we'll get to talk and not just say "hi" or "hello" and that's it. my roommates were ana, pam & amethyst (which is by the way a dj in magic 89.9) it was fun staying with them (well, with pam&ana that is, amy spent most of her time with shee ais shendz and kris). we talked the night away (lights out was at ten, we slept at sometime past 12 =p) laughed our hearts out drooled over really cool gadgets talked about...stuff ^_^ (shempre d mawawala yung tanong na, "ganu katagal na kayo? panu kayo nagmeet? etc) eat eat EAT...hmm...did i mention eat??? ^_~; it was fun! heheheheh! i never thought that pam was "kwela"! hahahahh! you should've seen her when she got out of the bathroom and when she was showing us her picture with wallace!!! ^_^ then there's ana, a fellow cs student (ist nga lang). she was really nice and patient with our "kakulitan". hehehehehe! the activities were fun and tiring. but it was definitely worth it! we won a couple of games in day 1!!! ^_^ played a green&white version of "the amazing race"... funny talga! there was this part in the race where 4 of us have to cross the pool... unfortunately, 4 of us HAVE! and the only ones who don't are jai and amy... amy doesn't want to get wet (she was in her jeans) so that leaves jai. hahahahahah! they had to change the challenge for our group. they didn't expect all 4 of us to be in the same group so were really laughing when they found out why only jai was willing to jump in the pool! so there, were 2nd place...er & bonakid's group won, they did really well in the puzzle (wherein we struggled coz the whole puzzle looked weird =p) after that was love notes!!! we have to design an envelope where people could drop a line or two for us then we'll get to read them the next day... then threw a surprise party for shendz, jatts, shee, diths & kellyn last night during dinner! hahahhahahhahah! funny, we were ALL surprised except for des and lorraine (who cooked the whole thing up) after dinner the EBs had their meeting (which lasted until past 2am if im not mistaken) while the staffers went to sleep. (or should i say, while the staffers bond weheheheh!) this morning, we started off with a wake up call from jatts at 7am... waaaaaaaaaaah! i was really sleepy when i opened the door, i looked horrible. hahahaha! then had breakfast, took a COLD bath...then...had videoke! after that we had another activity (i was with er and bonakid)... then had lunch...more videoke...aaaaaaaand AWARDING CEREMONY!!! there were all sorts of awards...like early bird(s), mr/ms congeniality, mr/ms buffet sumten (for those who eat LOTS!), bibo kids!!! and the one bonakid and i won ---> teambuilding king&queen... whatta award!!! anyway, after that we went home... waaaaaah! it was sad leaving that place. it was so beautiful. gotta love it. anyway, i had lots of fun and i made new friends. im glad i came. even if this means that i might not be able to go to the ce party. anyway, at least i had a break. i needed that. so now, it's back to work. thesis...oh darn thesis... im done babbling, you may whack me now... XP toodles! 1 comment|post comment

navigation [ viewing | 20 entries back ] [ go | earlier/later ]