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barsik

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im so full! [09 Jun 2003|11:53pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | jay-z 'n' some otha guy-you know tha weird indian song... ]

yeah , well i'm jus chillen chattin wit amaf, waitin for the front of ma english project to dry so i can continue....i didn't update in a while cuz ma sister had the computer. yeah, this weekend was iight, i went to 6 flags, which was awesome!..hehe that night i was suposed to go to the wedding wit reema, but she bailed so i went wit other pple, it was a cute wedding, i wore this cute black skirt n a beige shirt wit like scrunchy sides....uhhg my feet hurt so bad, i could barely walk!!! madd pple were there, saturday was cute, i was suposed to chill wit sarah j and aslan and his friends, cuz yeah iono..lol but it didnt end up happening, everyone that was at the wedding ended up goin to the cba that night then goin to i think nycaround 1130, i stayed bak n hung out wit sarah n jen.. i was kinda out of it, man i was so tired alll weekend!! on sunday i, uhh, stayed home, i felt sick,i still kinda do =( im so tireddd! i wanna go to bedd, but i have to finish the english shyt....i hung out wit elif today, she came over, n we juss chilled......

dude i feel like shyt, i've been so drained lately, i have no enery AT ALL! even if i sleep for hours! it don't matter, school is such a stress, yo its juss killen brain cells....lol..well imma go take a nap, then go finish ma project....latter...mwa
..bye..

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looking past it.. [03 Jun 2003|06:12pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | tori amos-scarlet's walk ]

well this weekend wasn't the most eventful,went outlet shopping and to the cba on sat and went to Chili's and to see the Italian Job with my sister on sunday, it's cool to chill with her, i'm happy we got closer.
monday sucked, too long! i really hate school, i can't wait till its out! I mean imma miss onli a few pple, other then that, i see most of my friends outside of school, i hate teachers and work,i'm such a lazi person..hehe
today was weird,i was doing SNL impressions all day, but no one got me! how sad..pple these days, not watching SNL!

i got into a fight wit a close friend, not so sure how close we are anymore...*shrugs*..it was over something stupid too, i don't know why i waste my breathe on pple like who fought over, i swear that somepple are so selfinvoved to notice things that go on around them, oh well, neways,i don't know me n her stand, i don't wanna lose her as a friend but im not going to go begin for forgiveness either, im not like that, i speak whats on my mind, when its on my mind, and if pple have a problem with that, whatever..they can deal wit that on there own.
she had the NERVE to say that it wasn't my place and that its not my bussiness! it's more mine then it is hers!! i'm not gong to say anymore, it'll give it away, n i dont like to talk shyt, or make drama worse...so yeah

i wanna go tanning!, im white. i dont have the money to tho, whatever, im still darker then most pple. mb my dad will give me money for tanning...mb i'll get a lil color in 6flags...oh yeah! im going to 6flags on fri!!! wooo yeahh!!....
tomoro we have to walk to the PAL..for some stupid fire drill type thing..blah!......
..i think i might have a crush on someone..
not so sure tho..
ok thas enough....im out yo
..bye..

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i wanna quit [29 May 2003|08:35pm]
[ mood | rushed ]
[ music | pink floyd-the happiest days of our lives ]

Here I am, updating when I should be doing a million other things. I have an English report due tomorrow, I still haven't didn't start it. I have to finish typing my bio report that’s due tomorrow. I have to read Julius Caesar, there is a test on it...tomorow. I have to do this take home quiz...due tomorrow. I have to do this thing for French...due tomorrow, holy shit I’m going to be up all fuckin night, I’m o sick of school, I’m so sick of people, I’m fuckin tired, I’ve had no sleep this week, I think I’m going to juss stay home this weekend, and SLEEP the whole fuckin time. I’m all stressed out, I hate this, the Floyd playin in the bak round is helping to clam me a little but come on now do they really expect me to do all that work! Geez…well whatever, I hate that I wait till the last minute to do things, I hate that I’m not naturally smart, I hate that I don’t try , I hate that I care, I hate that I don’t care enough, I hate that I’m so tired all the time, but most of all I HATE SCHOOL!!!
..bye..

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i should be doing a million things right now [29 May 2003|12:01am]
[ mood | distressed ]
[ music | radiohead-karma police ]

yeah, it's been a while since I updated... I just don't feel comfortable typing all that I feel out in the open, for all you to see, and I see no point in juss expressing some of it, so I think I’m going to go back to my personal journals, but I’ll keep updating, for a while at least...
I’ve been really unfocused lately, my allergies suck, I cant read(something I truly love, it helps me escape my problems, and at times helps put things in perspective)I’m dong poorly in school because I juss can't deal with it anymore. I don't feel as close to my friends. It feels as if all that used to be important in my life is drifting away from me and unwillingly too,
I’ve been feeling pretty good for a while now (if you don't no me, I’m always up in down in my moods, in the beginning of the year I was really depressed) but I’ve juss had a lack of feeling lately, I’ve tried to keep my mood up, put on a happy face, try to...be normal I guess...but it's juss stopped working, I have constant headache.
I juss don't know what to do, should I start trying again in school n bring up my grades, should I not care? I'm so tried, I juss wanna sleep all the time, and I'm always dizzy, I almost fainted during choir rehearsal about a week ago, I came home from school today because I felt like crap, I’m shaky and nervous, I juss wanna curl up in my bed and sleep, why did things change all of a sudden? I WAS FINE!! I was actually ok for a period of time in my life; I have nothing to be complaining about! I love my family, yeah they're a pain in the ass sometimes, but I’m getting along with them better, me and my sister got close, my brother and I get along, they're great, I don't know what I’d do without them! I have good friends, I have pple I can trust, school WAS going good, my GPA was up to a 3.1 that’s higher then I thought I could get!

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weird [15 May 2003|10:14pm]
[ mood | groggy ]
[ music | tupac-better days ]

uhh, people piss me off. I'm not in a good mood and don't know why.

I had a long convo wit a friend, it's been a while since i've realli talked to her.
it was nice. I really trust her, she's always there for me when i need her, and she has great advice
I only hope that I can be of some help to her.

..blahh,

i'm talkin to selma now, i lov that grl yo foreal!

tired bored goin to shower then bed..see ya all later mwa
..bye..

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shopping rocks!! [14 May 2003|08:18pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]
[ music | pink floyd-the thin ice ]

Today was a good day, I haven't had one of those in a while!!
I woke up on my own this morning at 5am, it was so early...I couldn't believe it. I usually wakeup at 7am.
School was okay, long, but okay, we had Lit. today, uhhg we still have SO much work to do before we can even send it to the printers, grr!
I had bk..mmh, why is it the stuff thats bad for you is what always tastes the best! Imma get so fat if I keep giving into temptation...=( oh well, I went to GSP! whoo hoo!! I bought diesels, yes, I gave into the trend, AND I spent $90 on them, but it's okay, it was my brother's money(thx Tamir!!) And I bought this zip up shirt sweatshirt thingy at The Gap, one of my all time favorite stores! mmmmh, I also got Gloria Jean's iced chai lattes!! SOO GOOD!<-- hah i pulled a Priscilla! well ya that was my day, it wasn't too interesting, but it was relaxing(going to the mall always is)So I'll go now this is getting long and I have to do my hw..=(
..bye..

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one week went by [12 May 2003|04:49pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]
[ music | fugazi-promises ]

It's been a week, lets see what's been going on, I never did do that report so now I'm failing english...FUN!
The week was pretty boring, but it went by fast, and i didnt go to school monday, but i think i posted that. On friday i went to the softball game with Tania and Mark, then to the movies to see X2..it was so good!! it was even better then the first one! on saturday i went to the cba then a friend picked me up n we juss chilled at some kids house...no details sry..lol..sunday was nice..it was mother's day and my birthday, so i woke up and there was ballons in my room with 3 cards, my mom n dad got my $150 my brother gave me $100 and my sister said she'd take me shopping. my sister made dinner, and we spent the evening watching movies and just hanging out. my cousin her husband and kids came over later that night and we had my birthday cakethey gave me $50, i like my birthday's to be family oriented, since it does fall on mother's day.
after my cousin's let, we watched the first x-men and lord of the ring-fellowship of the ring(my brother never saw it till then!!!!!) the whole day, i had to conceal something from my family, it was kinda hard! but they haven't noticed it yet..thk god! ...today suked, i was so tired from going to bed late. imma go nap,
mmh fugazi..i like this band!!
..bye..

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i think i might actualli be sick [05 May 2003|08:30pm]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | pearl jam-release ]

it's been a long day, i didn't finish my english paper yet, actually didn't even start it yet. i think i'll start when i'm done up-dating.
my sister came back from Jamaica today, i woke up when she came home,
watched t.v. saw Music From Another Room staring jude law *drool* he's got to be my favorite actor, after orlando bloom COURSE!! haha. i called my mom around 12:30 and told her to bring home some ingredients for french onion soup on her way bak from work, she came home around 2:30, i made the soup and my mom made the main dish, it was really good!
my friend is going thro some drama of her own, and i wanna help! i'm going to try, cuz i know what it feels like. i can't go into details tho.
nothing realli happened today, except that i stayed home from school, it was nice to sleep in on a weekday*grin*
..bye..

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killing time [04 May 2003|01:50am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | welcome home travis-one more try ]

ok, it's almost 2 am and i can't sleep, I've been tired since 10!! I hate this, it's from stress, I know i is. Some of my friends are pissing me off, but I'll get over it. Pris actully helped me deal with it, she let me vent all I wanted and didn't tell to shut up once, she just gave me advise, I'm glad I met her last year, it would be so weird not to have her as a friend, she's done so much by just being there, it was even weird when she went to the bahamas for a week! haha.
The builder for the house came over today to "discuss the future plans"...I hate it when he comes over, because I know then, that something went wrong. Oh well, I'm told they'll be done around August. which isn't TO far away..thank god!
my english paper was due on friday, but i didnt do it, and now I feel so stupid because I didn't just sit my ass down and write it, it would have taken me 3-4 hrs max...but I'm a lazy person, so i kinda screwed myself =(
well I took some sleeping pills and they're finally kickin' in so I'm off to bed.
..bye..

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new? [03 May 2003|09:39pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]
[ music | alkaline trio-enjoy your day ]

uhh, i desided to do an online journal because my mom always seems to find my personal ones.
Well the weekend sucked so far, yesterday was a waste, i got my hair cut after school then Rose and Sel came over at 7:30 and we went to the cba from here. It was aggravating there, to many pple. It was ok once sarah and roza showed up, shan went too, even tho he was up in NY that day. My cousin was there too,I haven't seen him in a while so that was nice.
Today started out great i woke up on my own around 12, took a shower, then my mom left, i watched TV with my brother, we watched the fast n the furious. lol. its was funny, i never really hang out with him. I never really hang out wit anyone from my family, even tho we get along pretty well now, which is good, maybe its because I'm growing up..=) i finally started my english pper, when 2 of my friends IMed me sayin we HAD to talk..oh can ya smell the drama..well there was a lot of it!! pple think I'm too sarcastic! haha imagine that ME, too sarcastic?no shyt!!! thats me for ya! oh well we mended the fight n got over it, but for a sec, i was a grl bout it!
..bye..

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