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[11:27PM | Sat | 13.01.07] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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How I wish girls weren't so sensitive. So I could bombard them with vulgarities in my wrath. I almost did that yesterday during training cos I was seriously damn pissed. But well I didn't, if not I'd be a public enemy #1 by now. On the other hand, I wish I was more patient. Training was at the amphi. It's hard to be heard there no matter how loud you speak. So I had to speak louder than I usually do during trainings. I dislike shouting cos it makes me feel tensed. Plus there was the piano at the side of the amphi. Distracted some of the girls. Truthfully I was angry at them but I was more angry at myself for being an incapable leader. A hopeless and lousy captain. Plus my mind was blank most of the training - wished Derelyn had been there. I'm losing it. I'm in need of a confidence boost urgently. AND A MOOD BOOST. I've been so moody and emo lately. I don't know why. That sort of induced my mental block during trainings.
I've been mean to some people during my mood swings. And I hate that. Everything and everyone seems to tick me off. I wish I could just yell FUCK THE DAMN WORLD! I don't give a damn. I shouldn't be so nice, so accommodating. I need to stop paying attention and wasting time on petty issues and minor details. I need people to give me a break so just fuck off and STFU. I'm just waiting for someone to screw me over. Damn. God. I need help. Someone or something, please cheer me up ): There's a mini tournament at Singapore Poly tmr. I hope all goes well and I won't be so emo. Cheers. Life's a bitch sometimes.
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