Dusk and her embrace's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Dusk and her embrace

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[07 Jan 2005|07:04pm]
oh shit.

i miss this blurty so much.

*sobs*
<3

[10 Nov 2004|07:29pm]
blurty...i still love you. and i miss posting in this one. its so old. ive been friends with it for like a year.

*sigh*.

well... i <3 my blurty.

a least its always gonna be here.
<3

[10 Oct 2004|06:30pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

_voodoodoll

<3

[10 Oct 2004|03:54pm]
um.

call my cell phone. leave messages. please? ill love you. i dont even care who you are. you dont even have to know me. lol.

440.532.0149

DO IT.
2 |<3

[09 Oct 2004|11:48pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | graveflower x acid bath ]

uhhh... i downloaded a blurty client and im just testing to see if this works.

and now a random word to see if the spell check works: schmorganblatnik.

it does.

<3

[09 Oct 2004|11:16pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | sublime x ive seen better days ]

ehh supposedly carlas mom was reading all of our blurties.

so, hi carlas mom. sorry, i dont know your name. i just want to tell you that this is a HUGE invasion of privacy, and its very disrespectful of you. thanks.

i redid ariels layout. you likey?

my hand are literally as cold as ice cubes.

1 |<3

[09 Oct 2004|06:26pm]
[ music | lynyrd skynyrd x that smell ]

sarahs mad at me because she thinks im mad at her for copying off me.

1 - i never said anything to her about copying off my enter page. she brought it up and said she wasnt sure if she wanted to do it because i did.

2 - shes complained that shes sick of worrying whether or not shes copying me. if youre doing something that is taking the exact same idea i had, technically i would say that is copying. if you took the same pictures and text and everything, that wouldnt be copying, that would be you pretending to be me.

3 - most times i dont give a shit if you copy me. and im hardly ever mad. you have no right to be bitching at me about it.

sarah if you were in my position, youd understand. its just not fair for me to come up with tons of cool ideas just to have somebody else use them. its cool if people like what i do. but not if they do EVERYTHING i do. (im not totally directing this at sarah... nobody in particular, just people in general who copy off everyone else...)

sarah, mi not mad at you. but i dont see what the fuck your problem is.

3 |<3

[08 Oct 2004|08:26pm]
[ mood | hot ]
[ music | thirteen autumns and a widow x cradle of filth ]

sitting at hme on a friday night cuz i couldnt get ahold of anyone....

and ariel had to fucking go to west virginia because they had to take her old saggy fart aunt home. ariel, i shouldve told you to sit on her "rope" on the way there. lol.

err i went shopping. i bought three bras and a belt. the belt is one that melanie already has but i dont wanna always borrow her stuff from her and i love the belt... yes ariel, its the one you hate and think is so ugly. but i love it.

umm melanie made me BLTs today. shes such a sweetie.

i feel like getting fucked up tonight. and since theres alotta beer here cuz my dad has people over, i think i just might do that. and im gonna watch thirteen

<3

[08 Oct 2004|10:27am]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | tool x the patient ]

i FINALLY got AIMutation working. so IM me and make me happy. =).

um. i think im going shopping or something. so... i guess im going. i dont see my point in updating. was bored.

4 |<3

[07 Oct 2004|10:29pm]
[ mood | relieved ]
[ music | smoke two joints x sublime ]

eh. bad day yesterday.

just fucking depressed all day. john and matt and collin got mad at me ebcause i sat where john wanted to when we changed seats.. big fucking deal... then matt was making fun of me all during history.. then at recess curtis comes outside and says "HEY PIZZAFACE" or something and i just kinda looked at him but i was walking back inside to wash the stupid tabels. then curtis passes me and goes im just jokin or somethin but i wasnt really paying attention because matt was going "HAHAHA good job curtis! haha thats awesome". so i had to just go inside and wash the fucking tables by myself. my black coat thing kept getting all wet on the ends so i took it off and set it on the bench and i just had a tank top on. then some one says "chelsea" so i turn around and mrs gates is in the doorway. and i said yea? and she goes "is there something you should be wearing over that?" i said "yea its right--" "put it on NOW". then the stupid fucking 5th or 6th graders come in all staring at me because i still wasnt finished. and they all watched mrs gates yell at me. so i go to homeroom and matt sits across from me. collin sits next to me. matts cracking up and looks at me and goes "that was funny, what curtis said to you". i just kinda gave him a weird look. so matt tells collin all about it. then collin looks at me and im thinking hes gonna say something gay. but he says "dude what the fuck you dont fuckin do that.. chelsea i wouldve beat his ass". so matt feels bad... because he didnt "impress" collin. little bitch. then i notice that i dont have the necklace on that i wore to school. and of course its my favorite one which is now lost. but later john told me he wasnt mad at me, he just wanted to sit by collin. then chris was supposed to bring me cigarettes--he couldnt get em. so im kinda just forgettin other shit, but then i get home and fight with carla online. then everyone leaves me and i stay home alone listening to music and crying about my fucking brother. its almost been a year. but i cant fucking get over it. so i sit at home and think about how effin much i miss him. he was my EVERYTHING. i just wanted to be like him. i wanted to do what he did. i wanted to be as strong as he was.

then me and my dad went to best buy to get the godfather II. they didnt have it. so i got donnie darko. after that we went to applebees. my moms the bartender there. the balloon guy made me an elephant with a peanut on his nose. i gotta take a picture of it still. but i was so depressed there that i couldnt hold my head up. and sitting made my legs hurt. and i wanted to go home so bad but i couldnt get up. and i couldnt get comfortable so i just crawled inside jordans slayer hoody and tried to fall asleep but i coudlnt.

today wasnt much better. this morning i put on a skirt i was gonna wear to school. my mom bitched at me and said it was too short, and i had to change or id be grounded for a month. i was fucking pissed at we didnt talk that morning. school was fun though. in language arts we laughed so hard we cried. and i put elliotts hair up in a big pink clip. he looked so cute<3. science was okay. i was anton. anton was chelsea. we sat in each others seats. but then we switched back and anton sat on me. so i wrote "you love me" all over his agenda. which reminds of last year when byrdie got a new notebook, and me and chris cole went through it and wrote "penis" on every single page. in pen of course. but anyways. so after 8th period anton says "hey baby, wanna walk me to my locker?" which he says every day, since our lockers are right next to each other. hes such a queer. he always calls me baby now.

after school my mom was a bitch--she still is being one. we went home and jordan let me burn tons of his cds. im happy because i got 2 more slayer cd's, 2 more cradle cd's, and the thirteenth step =). more but i forgot. then we went to stone creek. i fucking love that place. its a headshop by columbia cafe. its like meant for me and melanie and jordan. its filled with candles, inscense, band tshirts, hoodies, belly rings, cd's necklaces, and bongs. god i love it. i didnt get anything but im goin back.then we had to drive to avon to pick up my kitty--he had to fucking get fixed. my poor baby. stole his manhood. and he had such pretty balls. haha jay kay my friends.

so i get home... nothing to do.. called people.. cant get aahold of em. i figured ariel wouldnt be able to do anything but i tried anyways. shes not allowed. and her aunt martha is moving in with them and stealing ariels room. fuckinng bitch. and her aunt marie practically lives there too. shes on an oxygen thing so theres this tube goin through the kitchen. i told ariel we should just step on it until she croaks. and hen i said we should put a cigarette in the tube hose thing. actualy i accidentally calle dit a rope. lol. then we decided to put weed in it lol. ehh nah.

so then me and my dad have been watching stupid videos online since 10.. its 11. but they were fucking hilarious. and now my satan baby is in my lap. ohh and on th eway home from the vet he was high. it was so funny. his pupils were like taking up his whole eyeball.

kay. phew.

2 |<3

[06 Oct 2004|08:56pm]
atrocity 15 x me

nothing mattered anymore
he turned away and locked the door
he turned the key and closed his eyes
let spill the tears and stop the lies

he wanted no more to do with this place
he wanted to leave without a trace
to pack my bags and disappear
to have no regret; to have no fear

to abandon all his life long dreams
to stop re-sewing all the broken seams
to leave behind his pain and despair
to end all existence without a care

if only this hadnt all been true
hes gone away to start anew
but he had to live with those tears and lies
so he locked the door and closed his eyes
<3

[05 Oct 2004|07:40pm]
[ mood | impressed ]
[ music | h. x tool ]

im pissed.

im so sick of having these exact people ask me these exact questions every day. online. in school. on the phone. anywhere you can possibly communicate.

carla-"is sarah mad at me?" or "sarah hates me" or "sarahs mad at me"

sarah- "why does carla think i hate her?" or "is carla mad at me" or "carla doesnt like me anymore"

im not pissed at you guys. im just so sick of you saying these thigns to me!! you guys need to sort things out yourself. and i dont know what makes you think you guys hate eachother. but its never gonna help unless you just say it to their face and get over it.

bleh. anyways.

i watched the godfather. great fucking movie. i loved it. i love the mafia and shit but i never really understood it all. id type more but its like 11 o clock, and i still need to take a shower. so, byebye.

3 |<3

[05 Oct 2004|04:25pm]
[ music | acoustic #3 x googoo dolls ]

im getting so sick of moodswings. or personality swings. or whatever the fuck happens to me.

im either:

happy
high
drunk
depressed
suicidal
pissed off

thats it. even though im happy most of the time. agh whatever.

okay. im thinking about making my journal friends-only. because i never know whos reading it. sometimes ill get online and somebody i dont even know will IM me asking why i havent updated in a few days. but im not sure if im gonna bother.

i have things to say but i dont wanna type right now. so ill update later.

<3

[04 Oct 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | touched ]
[ music | slide x googoo dolls ]

woohoo new layout.

i didnt like the other one, it stood out too much and it was too bright.

i sat on the computer all day today. workin on my profiles, my blurty... i dunno what else.

nothing really to say except my hands are fucking freezing.

nobody ever leaves me comments anymore. =/.

3 |<3

[04 Oct 2004|05:45pm]
[ mood | embarrassed ]
[ music | slide x googoo dolls ]

click

i made alot of changes n stuff on all the pages.

please sign my guestbook?

2 |<3

[02 Oct 2004|07:03pm]
[ mood | cranky ]
[ music | the new cult king x mushroomhead ]

hokay. well about two minutes after i left my last entry brooke called and said she was picking me up.

so she came and we went to the wan ton place in ebrea.. chinese fooooood. so we got chinese food. then we went back to her house and fell asleep.

then today has been pretty boring... we walked to kc's and hung out there for a while... then we left and went to sammys to get shit.... then we walked around and found chris robert and woost. robert n chris were fucking hyper as hell because theyre going to the ICP concert at the agora tonight.... fuck i want to go so bad. i dont even like icp that much i wanna just get in a moshpit. im in that kinda mood. and mushroomhead was supposed to open for them... but they split up. other wise i wouldve hidden inside somebodys hoody to get in there or something.

so we didnt really do anything all day.... i was outside and i saw chris, robert, jr, justin, and tons of other people walking down the street with their faces painted like fucking crazy. all of em wearin icp shirts n shit. i was about to just run up to someone and MAKE them take me. but i didnt because i didnt wanna leave brooke. so i came home... dunno why.

jeremy called and left a message on my phone saying...

"hey chelsea this is uh.. jeremy.. uhm tell ariel to fuckin call home cuz my grandpas freakin out i dunno.. but uh i dunno they say kyle came and picked you guys up but i dont think it was i think it was (something) sister... so they got her liscense plate number n shit or whoever it was that picked you guy up.. yeah so i dunno my grandpa said he was gonna call the cops so... hurry up n get ariel to call home... bye"

sooo... i called ariels house twice.. her grandpa hung up on me both times... i dunno but katie called me later and said she didnt really know much...

well.... yeah.

<3

[01 Oct 2004|09:38pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | same in the end x sublime ]

good day. =)

umm we had school pics today. everyone was making me fuckin laugh during mine so i looked like a retard. but my mom wanted a different background color, so i had to retake them anyways. and my eyes were hurting so they were all bloodshot, and i had this cracked out smile. so, im guessing i just look fantastic.

school sucked other than that.

after school i had an ortho appt. i dont have to get braces. =)

then i went to ariels. we just tried to find a ride to the game.... eventually i just called my dad and told him to come at 6:30 and take us. ariels grandma went to las vegas for a few days, and her grandpa was at work, so sharon and two of her old saggy ass aunts were there. so at 6:15-ish, sharon said that ariel and brian couldnt go to the game unless their grandpa told them it was okay. he already said it was okay twice, but sharons just a bitch like that. so they called his cell phone again and again but he never picked up. so my dad came and we got on our shoes and started to leave but sharon said "ariel dont leave". and ariel just said okay. so we walked out and got in the car to leave. we backed all the way out of the driveway, almost to the street, and sharon comes out and starts waving to my dad to come back. so ariel says really fast "its okay she just had to give me money but i already got it" and my dad just laughed and pulled up to the house again. so sharon came up to the window and started yelling at my dad for taking her. so my dad got mad and... ugh big mess. she threatened my dad and said that if he took ariel off the property ashe would cal the cops and say he kidnapped ehr. fucking bitch. so my dad left because we thought jeremy was coming to get us. but he called my cell and said he couldnt come. so i called my dad back an he came to get us. after the game her granpda came to pick her up. so she probably getting in trouble now. =/

anyways, at the game... uh i dunno. it was kinda boring.

i was supposed to go to breanins after the game with collin ariel and brooke. but she lied to all us because she wants to be alone with colin, even though shes goin out with chris. wtf. asfasadlka.

so then i was gonna go to brookes, but she had to go to her cousins or something. then i was just gonna sleep at curtises house, but i had to leave before him. so im just goin to brookes in the morning.

im wearing mike campbells hoody haha. i spilled hot chocolate on the sleeve dammit. oh well. this hoody smells goooood lol.

today me and ariel had a long talk about how big we thought guys dicks were. and then we talked about bretts penis for some time... oh god.

nothing much to say.

i gotta go smoke. bleh.

<3

[30 Sep 2004|09:14pm]
[ mood | nervous ]
[ music | three libras x a perfect circle ]

dustin said that for my birthday he MIGHT take me to get my eyebrow pierced. he said the only reason he wouldnt is because my mom would shoot him.

picture day is tomorrow. gahhh fuck that. i wasnt gonna dress up or anything but melani asked when my picture day was because she got her pics today and i told her. so she picked out the shirt she wants me to wear. lol.

i have fucking fungus growing on my mouth. sick.

ortho appointment tomorrow. if i have to get braces ill cry. ariel has to get them in a month. i cant even fuckin picture her with them.

im in love with zak mcleish.<3<3

3 |<3

[28 Sep 2004|04:08pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | mudvayne x trapped in the wake of a dream ]

i got outta school early today.at like elevenish i think. i was just really bored and fucking pissed off for no reason and i was being really bitchy. so i left.

i went to target. i got a hair straightener, bed head headbanger, two shirts, umm.... i guess thats it.

god. im just so fucking pissed at absolutely nothing.

ummm i bought three movies yesterday. thirteen, scary movie III, and darkness falls. i still havent watched darkness falls but everyone told me it was good so i bought it.

ehhh whatever.

4 |<3

[26 Sep 2004|08:29pm]
[ music | sublime x santeria ]

weekends are too tiring.

whew. okay.

friday after school i went straight to carlas after school. we just kinda hung out there for a while tryin to find a ride to the game. so sarah said she would take us. so me and carla walked down redfern and across a huge field of dirt to walk all the way to sarahs. we got there and it was so fucking hot out that i was sweating like a bitch and my feet fucking reeked because i didnt have socks on but i had sneakers on. so me and carla were sittin on sarahs bed wathcing beavis n butthead do america. and sarah bent down to pick up something and she pout her head by my feet and shes like EWWWW YOUR FEET!!! so i told her to wash em. so she got this rag wet and started wiping my feet. then she started squirting lotion all over em n shit. then i made carla smell my feet and she said they were fine. next thing i know sarah comes over with an axe tube and starts spray-attacking my feet. it was crazy. so her dad got home and he took us to the football game....

football game so us three were there and i still had my bookbag with me because i hadnt gone home yet.... ariel came. so she was basically hanging out with sarah and carla so i i figured obviously she didnt wanna hang out with me and i obviousl didnt wanna hang out with her, so i started talking to rachel brunner and megan..... we said hi to mr hach. lol. then anthony and bill and somebody else came over... so i hung out with them for a while... then we were gonna go get something to eat and we were waiting in line. then i saw brooke coming and leah mysza was with her too. so i talked to them for a little bit. umm... -remembering-.... yeah i sat down at the picnic table. i overheard some kid telling roger he was selling pills. i asked him what kind and he said adderall<3<3. so i bought one and threw it down my throat, i love it, its always made me so fucking happy that i couldnt possibly be sad. so breanin came later and she got two from that kid... roach took one too.... umm. so honestly i wasnt even hyper... i was just smiling the whole time and laughing at everything. but everyone was saying i was 'so fucked up' because people kept taking my bookbag and running away with it.. so i started chasing someone to get it and kevin like knocked me over into a bunch of people who were sitting down. which i guess is why everyone thought i was really fucked up. but i wasnt. i was just happy. so i sta rted dancing and singing sublime songs with rachel and elliott and a few other people. actually i was the only person singing. yep. ummm and anthony and megan were hugging so i went over and hugged them.. and i had a mountain dew in my hand so i accidentally spilled it on the side of their arms... i felt really bad. but i ended up going home with brooke and breanin and leah.

alotments we got to brookes house with the plans of sleepin there. but we all got bored and decided to go for a walk. so we started walkin over towards kc's house and on the corner we met chris cole, robert, woost, and erin kinzer. so we all went to kc's house. by that time i was completely sober but i was really really shaky and jittery. so i asked someone if they had a cigarette. woost went to his house and got one for me. i smoked it, then got really scared and i layed in the street. chris cole ran to his house and grabbed me a whole pack. thank you so much chris. love you. anyways we just kinda sat around for a while... eventually leah and erin both went home and i was happy because theyre both really slutty and i dont have much respect for them. so later me and breanin and brooke went back to her house and i slept on the couch like i usually do.

saturday morning at like 8 i went to breanins with her to babysit her little brother for a while until about 3-ish....her little brother was fucking crazy..... he ran out of the bathroom with no pants on, put his butt facing me and spread his buttcheeks open and started screaming.... i just started cracking up and breanin made him go in the bathroom. but yea her mom took us back to the alotments later...

alotments....again umm.. i was in brookes house and she has a door leading onto her roof from her room.. so me n breanin went on the roof... and chris woost n robert were talkin to us from the front yard. then klink and zak mcleish came outside too and they started talking to us.... zak mcleish<3<3... i have such a big crush on him hahaha..... sambo wants me to go out with him haha... i wouldnt have a problem there... but anyways so i went inside later and i was sittin at the table with klink and we were just talking.. hes so fucking funny he was making me crack up so hard i kept accidentally spitting popcorn out my mouth and he would just start laughing at me.... but him n zak were making fun of robert for listening to icp earlier so zaks like "chelsea you dont listen to that shit do you?" lol and i said i used to listen to a few of their songs but i dont anymore. and he said "good stay away from it". lol. i really like him. but hes a sophomore =/. oh well. i can dream. but i bought oxy contin and took it out without water so it would kick in later. after that we didnt do much.... we just walked around for a while... zak and klink did 'drive-bys' and they were throwing things at me.. a can of pop hit me. it hurt.

baker's so we met caleb too.. all of us went to kc's and we were listening to caleb and bakers 'nam' stories.. they told us about their days back in vietnam lol. they do that a lot. then everyone started getting really weird and they were army crawling and they all got stuck under baker's camper. i was curled up in a blanket by the pool for a while. when i finally got up i was really dizzy and lightheaded. so i asked people if they wanted to come back to brookes with me and everyone wanted to stay there. so i i felt too weird to stay there... i just walked home and on the way the whole left side of my body went numb and i just went upstairs in brookes room and i got really depressed and i started crying. i fell asleep in brookes bed. a litte bit later breanin n brooke came home and i woke up somehow.. we all went downstairs and fell alseep in beaks waterbed. but i woke up in the middle of the night and i was freezing so i went on 'my couch' and fell asleep. lol. that couch is my fucking lover, i sleep like a baby on it.

sundayi woke up later and mostly everyone was already up. i woke up in the best mood ever. so i went back in beaks room and we were all just crackin up and laughing at nothing. breanin was fucking screaming. i told her to be quieter but it just made me laugh more. so we al cleaned brookes room eventually... then we walked around the alotments for a while. then i called jordan and he picked me up and brought me home on his way home from work. i watched spiderman when i got home.

now im here.

ps-beak got kicked out. but i think hes gonna move back in. brooke really doesnt want him to leave. he called their house this morning and i picked up the phone.. he sounded really sadbut i heard his mom talking to him then... and she sounded like she might let him come home. jacks probably gonna move back in with them too.

phew. thats all folks.

*****

1 |<3

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