| goodbye america fuck you america |
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| 12:19am 23/05/2003 |
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so brandon and i broke up for good this time we are definately not getting back together . it was the best for both of us all we did was fight.....but i really like this guy named justin right now though hes really sweet....today was kellys graduation it was fun making fun of all the stupid people which there was a lot of...but isnt there always.....hum hum hum i need to go to sleep tomorrow is like my last full day of high school its kinda scary to think about ......heehee i cant wait till tomorrow night though im getting drunk:) |
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| this explains it exactly |
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| 10:25pm 19/05/2003 |
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Fear Of Ghosts
by:the cure
Like a feeling that I'm down
Deep inside my heart
Like I'm looking out through
Splitting blood red
Windows in my heart
From a higher up than heaven
And a harder down than stone
Shake the fear that always clawing
Pulls me clawing down alone
As I spitting splitting blood red
Breaking windows in my heart
And the past is taunting
Fear of ghosts
Is forcing me apart
And the further I get
From the things that I care about
The less I care about
How much further away I get...
I am lost again
With everything gone
And more alone
Than I have ever been
I expect you to understand
To feel it too
But I know that even if you will
You cannot ever help me
Nor can I
Ever help you |
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| hooray i only worked an hour today! |
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| 11:56pm 17/05/2003 |
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mood:  guilty
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waiting to go to party feel kinda bad because of no one other then brandon we had a good day earlier but then we fought and later i went back to his house and he wanted to go to the party with me and i just told him no because i didnt want him there and yeah i asked him if he wanted to be with me and he said i dont know i got real confused/upset and he said that he did want to be with me then........blah and made me feel bad about not wanting him to go with me to the party i dunno i dont need this shit he told me again to not care about him anymore so that i will do fuck it................. |
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| 03:06pm 16/05/2003 |
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mood:  exanimate
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i have to work today from 5-11...suck! oh well im getting drunk tomorrow night wee i havent done that in a while i think i have a drug problem because like everytime im not on anything i get really really depressed and want to just disappear.....oh well ive always been like this though like every since like i was 12 .......i dont know anymore...... |
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| "KMFDM IS TECHNO" :( |
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| 11:02pm 15/05/2003 |
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mood:  stressed
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humm well today i wrote a 10 page paper and it sucks hopefully i get a least a "C" on it....i just need to graduate and im sooo stressed out .......less then 2 weeks left that is scary....man i worked a little today it was boring but i got to listen to the new wave station they played the smiths and adam ant that always makes me happy......i got my check to its not good at all and i owe everyone like a million dollars so im like already broke.........i cant wait until saturday im going to kings island and then kelly is having a party/get together im excited |
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| im sleepy |
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| 08:49am 14/05/2003 |
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mood:  aggravated
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im at school right now and i am leaving in like 10 minutes im going to cinci with rob i was going to interview homeless people on vine for econ but i desided not to....im still going to cinci though....but yeah im so tired though i wish i didnt feel this sleepy hopefully ill wake up by the time i leave....i have my "carteens" class today fun fun well i gotta go plot bye |
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| recap of last few days |
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| 06:53pm 13/05/2003 |
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mood:  creative
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i went to prom that was okay a lot better then last year, didnt go to kings island i got ditched due to the after affects of alcohol on a stupid person (brandon) sat at home bougt a new cd... the band "the the" i likes....humm bugged some people at their work hung out with kris...cryed....yeah thats pretty much what i have been up to ....i cant wait until saturday kelly is having a party and im excited i love muh kelly heehee |
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| im so happy today |
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| 03:47pm 09/05/2003 |
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mood:  scared
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so besides having to work i got my car back! and i also go my fairy wings in the mail today for prom! this is so awsome! but yah prom is already tomorrow im soo stressed out i have an f in econ and i need at least a d to pass i have bad bad senioritis oh man i only have 13 day left of school to get my grade up well lets see how that goes............... |
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| i dreamt a dream a dying dream |
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| 05:34pm 07/05/2003 |
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mood:  awake
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well today i was supposed to get my car back but i didnt because that asshole car guy desided that its not important to get my car fixed this sux i would of had something to do today but noooo im stuck in the house once again with nothing to do i guess its okay though......maybe ill find something to get into well i guess thats what ill do now........ |
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| i hate fake people |
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| 10:29pm 06/05/2003 |
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mood: anxious
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umm what i mean by fake people is people that act nice to you to your face then turn around and talk shit behind your back or in some cases even on the internet......god i wish i could just wake up in a whole new world with all new people and have a different life....someday i will actually very soon.......ive been sooo stressed out lately i mean im still waiting for my car to be fixed....trying to graduate and my econ class is not helping in the matter (my teacher doesnt know what the hell she is doing)...and i plan on moving out within the next month i just dont know with who or where yet i mean i have offers but i need to think about money and how well i will get along with whoever i end up living with....this is such a big turning point in my life and im a little scared but im so ready for this i need something new........geez im only 17 and im already moving out...... |
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| i hate technology |
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| 11:05pm 05/05/2003 |
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mood:  disappointed music: The Cure
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well i just dont understand why everyone thinks its their business talking about mine and brandons relationship and why does everyone think they have a say on how i have reacted to the recent events.....i mean no one really knows everything that has happened between us besides brandon and i so why does everyone i know think its funny to say shit about it........i mean i dont say shit about anyones elses relationships and how they feel about things so why does everyone keep getting involved in my shit.........i mean i know i deal with things bad and thats just something i need to deal with on my own or with the person that is actually involved in my shit not other people just trying to bring me down this is sooo stupid i just want to disappear i guess when you show how you feel about things you really see how much everyone else really cares about you the funny thing is all the people that keep bothering me dont really know me at all they just know what i have shown them but my true friends the ones i have known for years know me and know exactly why i feel the way i do so i guess thats all that matters fuck it i need to get out of this place................ |
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| my very first entry |
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| 03:14pm 04/05/2003 |
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mood:  amused
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this is my very first entry on this thing i hated livejournal so i desided to come here.....lj just had to much drama for me but i guess eventually this will to but for now its good....... |
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