Blurty for amy.
|Friday, March 24th, 2006|
this next few weeks are going to be
i have to keep moving
i have to keep changing and keep busy.
but stuff goes crazy. you never know.
and it's alright with me.
change, that is.
but i'm in a whirlwind right now.
the beauty and the terror
of the calm before the storm.
but then again,
isn't that the story of my life?
the beauty and the terror.
|Wednesday, February 15th, 2006|
conciousness is just a clarity
between nightmares and dreams.
one day i was born and someday i will die.
and what's between those two days
well, that's mine.
take nothing for granted
because the world is indefinite.
some things in life you just have no control over.
hang on, but don't be afraid to let go.
let's travel the seven seas
but don't forget how beautiful that shore is.
|Monday, February 13th, 2006|
today was half-way decent for a Monday.
the days are getting longer.
the weather's getting warmer.
what did we have, like 4 weeks of winter?
isn't that the beauty of california.
in other news,
tomorrow is Watch-All-The-Perfect-Couples-Be-Blissfu
i'm bringing candy for awesome people.
hopefully we can take this manufactured holiday to remember
that we're supposed to acknowledge the the people we care about
every day of the year.
and go buy Frances the Mute by The Mars Volta.
you'll think it's weird, but you won't be dissapointed.
|Sunday, February 12th, 2006|
so overall, one of the better days in my (very) recent history.
my dad, my brother and i drove up LA to bring my brother back to school
and on the way back, my dad and i stopped by Santa Monica (fuck yeah)
Third street is the best. it's not really a street because you can't drive a car there, though.
you just walk around and there's a biajillion stores, street venders, and a few scattered street performers.
a nice, much needed rest.
hopefully enough to get me through another week
of utterly pointless bullshit.
if you've never been out to Santa Monica, go.
and when you do, take me with you, ok?......please?
|Friday, February 10th, 2006|
what the fuck, man.
i don't understand you people
why is it that some people
just don't understand mutual respect?
i don't agree with you
you don't agree with you.
but that's cool.
i respected you until you DISRESPECTED ME.
don't justify your beliefs
by telling me that they're true
regardless of whether i agree with them or not.
your faith is the truth in your mind,
and that's sweet.
that's the beauty of the First Amendment.
But listen to me now.
not everybody believes in the same things
that you do.
and even fewer appreciate your mindless, ignorant preaching.
thank you very much and good night.
|Wednesday, February 8th, 2006|
FUCKING ASTHMA ATTACKS.
i hate it.
it's one of the most helpless feelings i've ever known.
|Tuesday, February 7th, 2006|
didn't sleep a wink last night
because my head hurt like fucking hell.
i'm drained and achey.
i hope it goes away.
but then again, i have to go back to reality
once this all goes away.
i woke up this morning and saw the sun rise
i don't even remember the last time
i was up before the sun.
i wish i could just pause everything
for a little while.
i'm sick of being on auto-pilot every day
and i know i'm not the only one.
"the end isn't here
but it's comin real soon
i said the feeling isn't fear
it's just tellin you to moooove"
i miss the warm weather.
|Sunday, February 5th, 2006|
i'm getting sick.
woke up with a fever and aches and all that jazz
and now i'm just achey
i feel hungry and nauseous at the same time.
Sunday is a bittersweet time
because even though it's kind of relaxing
i know that i have to go back to
i don't like football.
and i HATE Super Bowl commercials.
but at least i have the rest of today to
kind of wind down.
it would be nice if i didn't feel like shit
don't wait til
the finish line"
i got a new notebook today.
i pretty much collect notebooks
and pens and stuff
but i don't exactly know why
as i never write anything
really worth while.
i am an artist with the finest brushes
and paints and piles of
the most expensive canvas.
but nothing ever comes of it because
my imagination's been blank
for a long, long while.
maybe that's why i like photography
because the beauty of the world is already there
i just have to be able to search it out.
and that i can do.
|Saturday, February 4th, 2006|
they're cute and fashionable like
some obscenely expensive handbag.
they're eyecandy at its sweetest
and their MySpace has a really cool
THEIR MUSIC SUCKS.
it's not that i'm afraid to drop names
in this situation, there are just too many
names waiting to be dropped.
you kids need to learn that
it's about the MUSIC not the "scene"
it's okay to not wear a black T-shirt 24/7
and occasionally jump around and actually
have a good time.
it's also okay to like bands that play shows
with make-up free faces.
i'm not bashing all bands that are concerned
with their aesthetics.
i'm bashing the bands that RELY on their little image
to sell themselves on.
you're a not an actress, you're a whore.
|Friday, February 3rd, 2006|
i'm tired and sore
but i have energy like no other.
if that even makes sense.
i hate cold weather with a passion
though this really is not cold weather,
but cold to a californian anyways.
hoping that i'm not just spinning
because it's all so colorful.
ain't it a shame that no one's going to remember
this season is usually a little bit bland
in the life of Amy, anyways.
we need some hot days
where the sun doesn't set until just before 7
in the evening.
go listen to the song "Hey There Delilah"
you'll either cry yourself to sleep
or smile yourself to sleep.
if beauty is color,
then that song is a mural
perfect, but naturally falling to place
in every way.
|Wednesday, February 1st, 2006|
i know what it is to live.
there is a song playing in my mind
at every waking moment of my life.
photography and words saved me.
it sounds so stupid. stupid teenage girl.
stupid dreams. stupid i-wanna-be-an-astronaut hope.=
well you wanna know something?
if i ended up being the filthy-fucking-rich CEO
of a giant, successful company.
i wouldn't have lived my life
the way i wanted to.
my dream is to play my music and be able
to surround myself with people i truly care about
who (i hope) care about me.
music and love.
that's all i really want out of life.
you think i'm lame? that's cool.
because as long as i have my music and my love,
well then i'm going to be able to smile.
not that life is always something to smile about.
but, the experience, both beautiful and painful
is what we're here for.
breath your secrets in my ear.
who have i got to tell your secrets to anyways?
we are a field full of lilies
waiting to bloom.
my throat is throbbing.
'tired and hungry and totally useless'
but i feel better than i did
for most of today.
headphones are healers.
when i feel the music floating through my veins,
i'm alive, baby, i'm alive.
i was in a bitch mood most of today, however.
primarily because i'm sick of hearing
you people try to tell me what
you think i need to believe
and telling eachother to think a certain way.
the moment you start ignorantly preaching at me,
is the moment that you lose your credibility
in my mind.
but on a lighter note,
no panic today.
ABSOLUTELY no panic attacks.
it's hard to explain how amazing it feels
to be free of that crazy/irrational fear
for an entire day.
i seriously feel like i could fly right now.
|Saturday, January 28th, 2006|
it's been kind of a long day
but i'm not too tired.
somethings have been bothering me
more than i should be allowing them to.
i'm not upset,
so don't take it that way if i seem
a little distant
for just a while.
i'm wide awake
so don't you try to wake me
|Friday, January 27th, 2006|
deconstruct your thoughts
and reconstruct the dream.
if someday is the dream
then i am the dreamer.
i don't want to need a miracle, though.
i guess no one really does
want to be at the mercy
of their final chance.
if the songs can't speak for themself
then it's not worth the artist's time
to try and speak for them.
but at this point i really don't think
it should matter to you
if i think that you're defending your facade
|Thursday, January 26th, 2006|
"inside your swollen eyes
sleeps a genius
buried by miscalculations. "
insane. lots has been on my mind
but it all spund around so fast.
i tried to keep my feet on the ground
and my head on my shoulders.
there's been a sandstorm going on inside
i betcha the weatherman didn't
see that one coming.
the winds have died down just a little
but i'm just drained.
i miss the warm weather.
|Wednesday, January 25th, 2006|
on a computer screen
captured my heart
|Tuesday, January 24th, 2006|
midsummer days in california.
driving north through
little towns and big cities.
sometimes along the coast and its open skies
and sometimes engulfed in a jungle
of concrete structures
puncturing holes in the sky.
if there is a heaven i think it was right there, right then.
i remember it so clearly
and i know it will never be gone from my mind.
the sun never shines so bright as it does
when you've got nothing to do
and nowhere you got to be.
' somewhere in America
in the city at night
we were far from home
but you know it was gonna be alright '
oh, i always knew it would be alright
for some people,
home is constantly moving and changing.
the place i grew up is amazing,
but there's so much more to see.
|Monday, January 23rd, 2006|
what would you say?
you don't know.
but i'm writing the answers on cheap
paper napkins '
caught between an ephiphany
and a nervous breakdown.
my brain is a battle of epic proportions.
|Tuesday, January 17th, 2006|
oh let me go just one last time
i spend my whole life searchin for direction
Oh let me go just one last time '
we're so caught up in this crazy
each motion painfully familiar.
we're all in need of some elbow room
some room so fresh air can reach our lungs.
a day without panic
would be gladly welcomed.
Blurty for amy.