Blurty for amy.
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| Friday, March 24th, 2006 |
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this next few weeks are going to be absolutely insane. i have to keep moving i have to keep changing and keep busy. but stuff goes crazy. you never know. and it's alright with me. change, that is. but i'm in a whirlwind right now. the beauty and the terror of the calm before the storm. but then again, isn't that the story of my life? the beauty and the terror. |
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| Wednesday, February 15th, 2006 |
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conciousness is just a clarity between nightmares and dreams. one day i was born and someday i will die. and what's between those two days well, that's mine. take nothing for granted because the world is indefinite. some things in life you just have no control over. hang on, but don't be afraid to let go. let's travel the seven seas but don't forget how beautiful that shore is. |
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| Monday, February 13th, 2006 |
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today was half-way decent for a Monday. the days are getting longer. the weather's getting warmer. what did we have, like 4 weeks of winter? isn't that the beauty of california. in other news, tomorrow is Watch-All-The-Perfect-Couples-Be-Blissfully-Happy Day. i'm bringing candy for awesome people. hopefully we can take this manufactured holiday to remember that we're supposed to acknowledge the the people we care about every day of the year. and go buy Frances the Mute by The Mars Volta. you'll think it's weird, but you won't be dissapointed. |
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| Sunday, February 12th, 2006 |
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so overall, one of the better days in my (very) recent history. my dad, my brother and i drove up LA to bring my brother back to school and on the way back, my dad and i stopped by Santa Monica (fuck yeah) Third street is the best. it's not really a street because you can't drive a car there, though. you just walk around and there's a biajillion stores, street venders, and a few scattered street performers. a nice, much needed rest. hopefully enough to get me through another week of utterly pointless bullshit. if you've never been out to Santa Monica, go. and when you do, take me with you, ok?......please? |
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| Friday, February 10th, 2006 |
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what the fuck, man. i don't understand you people why is it that some people just don't understand mutual respect? i don't agree with you you don't agree with you. but that's cool. i respected you until you DISRESPECTED ME. don't justify your beliefs by telling me that they're true regardless of whether i agree with them or not. your faith is the truth in your mind, and that's sweet. that's the beauty of the First Amendment. But listen to me now. not everybody believes in the same things that you do. and even fewer appreciate your mindless, ignorant preaching. thank you very much and good night. |
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| Wednesday, February 8th, 2006 |
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FUCKING ASTHMA ATTACKS. i hate it. it's one of the most helpless feelings i've ever known. |
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| Tuesday, February 7th, 2006 |
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didn't sleep a wink last night because my head hurt like fucking hell. i'm drained and achey. i hope it goes away. but then again, i have to go back to reality once this all goes away. i woke up this morning and saw the sun rise i don't even remember the last time i was up before the sun. i wish i could just pause everything for a little while. i'm sick of being on auto-pilot every day and i know i'm not the only one. "the end isn't here but it's comin real soon i said the feeling isn't fear it's just tellin you to moooove" i miss the warm weather. |
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| Sunday, February 5th, 2006 |
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i'm getting sick. woke up with a fever and aches and all that jazz and now i'm just achey i feel hungry and nauseous at the same time. lovely, eh? Sunday is a bittersweet time i guess because even though it's kind of relaxing i know that i have to go back to hell tomorrow. i don't like football. and i HATE Super Bowl commercials. but at least i have the rest of today to kind of wind down. it would be nice if i didn't feel like shit but whatever. "always love. don't wait til the finish line" i got a new notebook today. i pretty much collect notebooks and pens and stuff but i don't exactly know why as i never write anything really worth while. i am an artist with the finest brushes and paints and piles of the most expensive canvas. but nothing ever comes of it because my imagination's been blank for a long, long while. maybe that's why i like photography because the beauty of the world is already there i just have to be able to search it out. and that i can do. |
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| Saturday, February 4th, 2006 |
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they're cute and fashionable like some obscenely expensive handbag. they're eyecandy at its sweetest and their MySpace has a really cool background picture. but THEIR MUSIC SUCKS. it's not that i'm afraid to drop names in this situation, there are just too many names waiting to be dropped. you kids need to learn that it's about the MUSIC not the "scene" it's okay to not wear a black T-shirt 24/7 and occasionally jump around and actually have a good time. it's also okay to like bands that play shows with make-up free faces. i'm not bashing all bands that are concerned with their aesthetics. i'm bashing the bands that RELY on their little image to sell themselves on. you're a not an actress, you're a whore. |
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| Friday, February 3rd, 2006 |
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i'm tired and sore but i have energy like no other. if that even makes sense. i hate cold weather with a passion though this really is not cold weather, but cold to a californian anyways. hoping that i'm not just spinning my wheels because it's all so colorful. ain't it a shame that no one's going to remember all this? this season is usually a little bit bland in the life of Amy, anyways. we need some hot days where the sun doesn't set until just before 7 in the evening. go listen to the song "Hey There Delilah" you'll either cry yourself to sleep or smile yourself to sleep. if beauty is color, then that song is a mural perfect, but naturally falling to place in every way. |
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| Wednesday, February 1st, 2006 |
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i know what it is to live. there is a song playing in my mind at every waking moment of my life. photography and words saved me. it sounds so stupid. stupid teenage girl. stupid dreams. stupid i-wanna-be-an-astronaut hope.= well you wanna know something? if i ended up being the filthy-fucking-rich CEO of a giant, successful company. i wouldn't have lived my life the way i wanted to. my dream is to play my music and be able to surround myself with people i truly care about who (i hope) care about me. music and love. that's all i really want out of life. you think i'm lame? that's cool. because as long as i have my music and my love, well then i'm going to be able to smile. not that life is always something to smile about. but, the experience, both beautiful and painful is what we're here for. breath your secrets in my ear. who have i got to tell your secrets to anyways? we are a field full of lilies waiting to bloom. |
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my throat is throbbing. 'tired and hungry and totally useless' but i feel better than i did for most of today. headphones are healers. when i feel the music floating through my veins, i'm alive, baby, i'm alive. i was in a bitch mood most of today, however. primarily because i'm sick of hearing you people try to tell me what you think i need to believe and telling eachother to think a certain way. the moment you start ignorantly preaching at me, is the moment that you lose your credibility in my mind. but on a lighter note, no panic today. ABSOLUTELY no panic attacks. it's hard to explain how amazing it feels to be free of that crazy/irrational fear for an entire day. i seriously feel like i could fly right now. |
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| Saturday, January 28th, 2006 |
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it's been kind of a long day but i'm not too tired. somethings have been bothering me more than i should be allowing them to. i'm not upset, so don't take it that way if i seem a little distant for just a while. i'm wide awake so don't you try to wake me from this whatever-you-call-it. |
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| Friday, January 27th, 2006 |
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deconstruct your thoughts and reconstruct the dream. if someday is the dream then i am the dreamer. i don't want to need a miracle, though. i guess no one really does want to be at the mercy of their final chance. if the songs can't speak for themself then it's not worth the artist's time to try and speak for them. but at this point i really don't think it should matter to you if i think that you're defending your facade in vain. |
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| Thursday, January 26th, 2006 |
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"inside your swollen eyes sleeps a genius buried by miscalculations. " insane. lots has been on my mind but it all spund around so fast. i tried to keep my feet on the ground and my head on my shoulders. there's been a sandstorm going on inside my cranium. i betcha the weatherman didn't see that one coming. the winds have died down just a little but i'm just drained. i miss the warm weather. |
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| Wednesday, January 25th, 2006 |
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on a computer screen captured my heart today. http://tinypic.com/kcja80.jpg |
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| Tuesday, January 24th, 2006 |
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midsummer days in california. driving north through little towns and big cities. sometimes along the coast and its open skies and sometimes engulfed in a jungle of concrete structures puncturing holes in the sky. if there is a heaven i think it was right there, right then. i remember it so clearly and i know it will never be gone from my mind. the sun never shines so bright as it does when you've got nothing to do and nowhere you got to be. ' somewhere in America in the city at night we were far from home but you know it was gonna be alright ' oh, i always knew it would be alright for some people, home is constantly moving and changing. the place i grew up is amazing, but there's so much more to see. |
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| Monday, January 23rd, 2006 |
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what would you say? you don't know. but i'm writing the answers on cheap paper napkins ' caught between an ephiphany and a nervous breakdown. my brain is a battle of epic proportions. |
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| Tuesday, January 17th, 2006 |
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oh let me go just one last time i spend my whole life searchin for direction Oh let me go just one last time ' we're so caught up in this crazy 'everyday' catalyst each motion painfully familiar. we're all in need of some elbow room some room so fresh air can reach our lungs. a day without panic would be gladly welcomed. |
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Blurty for amy.
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anxious.
relaxed.
crazy.
aggravated.
tired.
sick.
pensive.
relieved.
amused.
drained.
