pacifini's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | So much to say... ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

I could be back someday. [31 May 2006|06:20pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead ]

My first Blurty entry was in March 2003.
Forever ago...
I'm going to leave... for now.
I'm not going to delete my Blurty, I've had some good times here. And I think it'll be nice to come back sometimes, even if it's just to read rather then to write.

If you're interested, here's where you can find me...
Live Journal
My Space
My First Site


give a thought

After everything I'm ok, really. [18 Apr 2006|02:58am]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Jamie Cullum ]

At work watching live soccer. It's the second live game tonight, then I go to a soccer replay from last night. It's not really a game I've gotten into. Looks like heaps of fun being part of the crowd though!!

I nearly ran over two stupid kids on the way to work tonight. They were so lucky I was just cruising along at 80 rather then 100! I was just driving along the motorway in the slow lane and then out of no where these two guys run across. So close. My heart was beating real fast. All I could think was how f'n stupid they were.

Found out today that dad resigned. It's surreal. He's worked at the same place my whole life, and suddenly finding out he's not working there anymore really hits me hard.

Went to church twice last week. Was weird. Different churches and religions, hehe. I think going to church regularly will probably be something I end up doing when I'm older. Something I think I'd like to do. But not right now.

I'm not sure whether Mr man and I will work. I guess that's what this 'taking things slow' time is for. We are such different people. Different values, families, background, friends, hobbies, towns, "class"... It's idealistic to believe we live in a country without a class system.
With so many differences it's hard to see how we could work.
I feel like we live in seperate worlds. He's in a world where I won't fit in, and I'm in a world he rebels against.
Still, there's no harm in trying. I'd rather try then decide it's all to hard, and give up straight away.

I'm in a rather weird place right now. Emotionally. With him. With dad. And even contemplating religion for the first time in ages.
At least my job's a stable thing at the moment. And I've been going to the gym regularly for the last month (no changes in body yet, been eating too much chocolate lately... Easter!!) It's odd thinking I'm the only one in the household working. Everyone else is just at home. I thought about moving out today (haven't had that thought in a while), who knows when dad'll get a new job and who knows how much it'll pay? It could be more helpful if I weren't at home eating all the food and using all the power/water etc. I dunno. A little part of me honestly thought dad would be at the same job until retirement. Too bad retirement's still 14years away for him.

I'm glad I don't have work till Friday avo. Give me sometime to relax and rejuvenate. To think, to contemplate. To empty my mind and sleep. I wish petrol wasn't so expensive, otherwise I would've seriously thought of driving somewhere. North maybe. Me, my car (2nd home haha), and my paints.

give a thought

Balancing on a high-wire [08 Apr 2006|09:27pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | Walk Away - Franz Ferdinand ]

So I sort of want to protect myself from getting hurt again, but if I do that I can't fully open up to this person. So I've chosen to be open, to let my heart be exposed with no barriers. It's a risk I have to take. It could work out, or I could end up being hurt. It's not a secure feeling at all. I think we both have hesitations. He's already told me he's afraid of hurting me again. I'm afraid too. But sometimes you've got to face your fears, and I suppose giving him another chance is a step in facing that fear. He's been really sweet the last few weeks, it's actually feeling quite positive. But still, we're taking things slowly - I guess you could say we're "going out", but we're not in a "serious" relationship. It's nice being with him.
Can I forget what he's done? No.
But I can forgive him.

give a thought

[28 Mar 2006|04:37am]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | nancy sinatra - bang bang ]

Dearest Destiny,

Please be kind to me. Things can go in so many directions, please give me a helping hand or just give me a push the right way...

Love from me.

1 remembered| give a thought

music... so me [09 Mar 2006|05:16pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Interpol - Length of Love ]

Paul McClaney (Gramsci)was lovely the other night, he did a solo acoustic gig at Odeon.

Yay, Stellar* have a new single out, means an album must be on its way!! About time!!

UB40 last week was lovely, full of goodness and happiness. Really lovely concert.

give a thought

Tapapakanga Regional park [28 Feb 2006|08:59am]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | Pussycat Dolls (they're on "The View") ]

Splore was great :)

I saw:
The Nextmen
The Cuban Brothers
Talib Kweli feat Jean-Grae
Module/Rhian Sheehan (and Paul McClaney turned up!!)
Turnaround DJ's
Hollie Smith
Sola Rosa
Fat Freddys Drop
Beautiful Losers
Olmecha Supreme
Golden Horse

I'd really like to go to Parihaka - the international peace festival. But I can't really afford it at the moment.

Went to the bfm summer series in the weekend, caught:
Cornerstone Roots
Open Souls
Glad I went. Missed the Starlight Symphony on Saturday, but there's always next year.

UB40 tonight :D

give a thought

[16 Feb 2006|12:37am]
[ mood | guilty ]
[ music | KC & The Sunshine Band - That's The Way I Like It ]

I accidently scratched mums car with my car tonight. What a dumb move. It was as I was leaving for work so I didn't see her reaction, I quickly ran in and told dad, then took off. She's not gonna be happy. There were various reasons why it happened, but in the end it's my fault.
Self punishment: no more cds for the rest of the month... :(
Have also transferred some money to mums account... it's just not a good time. Got a couple of new tyres today, $300 for both as they're 15inch. I remember for my lancer it was only $180 for two tyres. Have to get my rego tomorrow. Also due for a wheel alignment. Will be glad when I've got all my car stuff done this month. Then I can reward myself... with cds! hehe :)

There's a movie called "breast men" on at work at the moment. It's making me feel rather, ahh, small. I've got a repeat of Gigli to look forward to later too!! Woohoooo!!

After tonights shift I don't have work until Tueday :)

This weekend's gonna be wonderful, Splore at Tapapakanga regional park, what a great place to escape!!

give a thought

Taking my time [14 Feb 2006|05:40am]
Awesome, I made it to 5.30 without feeling sleepy!! Now just have to keep the eyes open for a couple more hours and I'll be sweet.

Watched an episode of Cold Case on the mysky today, was so sad. They played Run by Snow Patrol in it. Love that song.

Ahh timewasters:
Glad to see 2005 go? I really enjoyed 2005, but I’m looking forward to this year
Age turned in 2005?: 22
Did you change your hair in 2005? It’s growing longer
The best part of 2005? Graduating
The worst part of 2005?: Daniel and I breaking up

Did you make any new friends in 2005? At work. No one as special as my high school friends though
Any new crushes in 2005? No
Do they know? : -
Who will you never forget: My high school friends
Who did you wish you did not meet?: In 2005? Can’t think of anyone
Did you have a boy/girlfriend in 2005? : Yes
Did you fall in love in 2005?: I kept falling, then finally fell face first into the concrete path below

Funniest moment of 2005?: When I met this guy at work for the first time. Not really one of those repeatable funny moments, had to be there.
Most embarrassing moment of 2005? I was checking some porn tapes for broadcast and there were some other people around, we started talking about what was on and I said “they should have better sets.” Everyone cracked up laughing and it took me a couple seconds to realise why they were laughing: it sounded like I said “they should have better sex.” Didn’t live that down for a couple of weeks.
The funniest thing you you saw on TV in 2005?: Started watching the Soup for the first time on E! That’s a funny show 
The funniest thing you heard on the radio?: My friend Lia got a job doing days on Mai FM, I just found it funny how she would talk – totally different from in real life! When I first heard her say “hit me up on the hotline” I cracked up laughing!

Any new hobbies of 2005?: Sending millions of emails
Did you get a new job in 2005?: Yep
Did you lose a job in 2005?: I guess you could put it that way.
Did you host a party in 2005? Dinner party
Did you get in any car accidents in 2005?: No.
Were you ever arrested in 2005? Never been arrested
Wanna say for what?: -
Where did most of your money go?: Savings and new car 

What song will always remind you of 2005?: Black – Pearl Jam
What do you wish you'd done more of?: Painting
What do you wish you'd done less of?: Expectations
Thing you were really good at in 2005?: Forgiveness
Thing you wish you were better at in 2005?: Confidence
In 2005, did you lie to miss a day of work / school?: No
Did you move in 2005?: No
Did you wish on a shooting star in 2005?: Yes, can’t help wishing on shooting stars. Love stars.
Has your wish come true?: Aahhh, I usually wish on small things, so don’t really remember if it came true or not, lol

Did you have a sleep over in 2005?: Kind of
Did you make-out in public in 2005?: Probably
What's the ringer on your cellphone?: Franz Ferdinand I think, haven’t changed it in two years. My caller tune is John Legend 
Did you drink to much in 2005?: I drunk a bit, hardly ever go overboard
Your favorite commercial of 2005?: don’t really watch ads, and therefore don’t recall many from last year.
Did you go to any concerts? Bic Runga
Something you couldn't leave home without in 2005?: bottle of water
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: Happiness is a voyage not a destination. There is no better time to be happy then now.
1 remembered| give a thought

[13 Feb 2006|04:45am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Cold cold cold.
Going crzy.
Not enough sleep last few days, since Thursday? Sunday, well Monday now.
Fell asleep just before during "28days later" and "breast men." 28days later must not have had a big action ending otherwise it should've woken me... don't know how long I drifted off for.
Feel like eating fish and chips, random yes.
Did go lantern festival, not for long, but so pretty. Take away a thousand people and it would be a perfect beautiful place to wonder around under the full moon.
My o my I do ramble sometimes.
Easier to stay awake leaning forward typing rather then reclining back watching tv.
Think I'll have breakfast soon.
21Grams is on, can't get into it, too tired. Always too tired when it's on. Feels like it's on all the time.
A fish called Wanda is on again, it was on at the beginning of my shift tonight. At least I'll catch the beginning. Can't believe I hadn't seen that movie before.

Had a dream the other night that my friend set me up with some guy. He was about 20cm taller then me, short brown hair and fair skinned. Ok shape too, not muscular but not fat. Couldn't see his face, was blurry. Anyway, not someone I would typically go for I don't think. My friend was asking me to do her a favor and that she really needed me to go out with him for some reason. Don't think he was from around here. We liked the same music. That's all I remember. I don't remember dreams that often, was odd I remembered that one.

Need to get front tyres for my car, should go today but I really really think I should sleep sleep and sleep some more. Hope it's raining and cloudy.
Today was rather lovely. The sun did disappear later in the afternoon, but until then it was warm and pleasant. Went to the beach with Talia and Dave. The water was lovely and warm. Tide was out though, kept swimming out and out and out but the water wouldn't get deeper then waist high, hahaha. Still lovely to float around.

Argh, what's up with the air con. So cold...

give a thought

Working 11pm-7am [12 Feb 2006|04:14am]
[ mood | tired ]

The plan:
1. Stay awake!!!
2. Remember I have legs, so walk around a bit.
3. Don't drink too many energy drinks or coffee.
4. Go to sleep and stay asleep when I get home.

Gets a bit hard for me when I go home, it's so odd sleeping during the day. I get to sleep ok, but if I open my eyes at say, 11am, it's so hard closing them again!!

Also weird how your body's got to adjust. I'm eating at 4am... I felt hungry ok!

Nothing much to watch on my movie channels right now. Some Antonio Banderras tv movie where he plays a mexican, Pancho Villa. A couple of boring MGM and UKTV things. There's also House of Sand and Fog, which I've seen and is way too sad for this time in the morning.

Not sure if I'll go to the lantern festival this year. I've been the last few years and it's always pretty. Gets really crowded now. Still have my own little lantern from last year :)

Four more nights to go, not including tonight. Then a day off to sleep and try adjust back. Then Splore.

Feel like I'm getting greedy with my weekends... I'm getting every second one off at the moment (by request). Feel so sorry for people who only work in the sports channels, they never get any weekends off.

Only a month till some time off in Wellington, that'll be lovely :)

give a thought

Raglan in the weekend [08 Feb 2006|07:42am]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Beach Boys ]

Some of the acts I saw at SoundSplash:
Open Souls
Ladi 6
Cornerstone Roots
Anika Moa
Big Youth
Salmonella Dub
Third World
there were more, but I can't remember them right now...

Only two weeks until Splore!!

give a thought

Big Day Out 2006 [23 Jan 2006|12:08pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Who I saw from 10.30am-12am on Friday:
Sola Rosa
The Living End
End of Fashion
Sleater Kinney
The Magic Numbers
Breaks Co-op
Kings of Leon
Franz Ferdinand
Mars Volta
Iggy &the Stooges
White Stripes
Fat Freddys Drop

Who I missed, but would've liked to have seen:
The Go! Team
The Brunettes
2 Many DJs

I did pretty well!!

give a thought

I love summer [09 Jan 2006|09:33am]
[ mood | happy ]

Went and saw Open Souls, SJD, Sola Rosa and Kora perform at Myers Park yesterday. So lovely seeing them outside in the sun.

I've missed live music so much, last year I saw hardly anyone.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this year :)

give a thought

Farewell 2005 [29 Dec 2005|06:59pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Love Generation - Bob Sinclar ]

I did get my bro a ps2 for xmas, we're gonna share it hehe.
So far we've only got the Buzz game, and I got Eye Toy Play3 today, which'll be a surprise for him when he comes back from his holiday. Tried out one game this morning, and I'm pretty useless! Haha, but it's fun.
I think I prefer the games on PS2, they're more fun (more girly too?) Though I love how you can do other things with the xbox and that it has an inbuilt hard drive, so you don't have to worry about memory cards.

Can't believe it's nearly 2006! This year's gone so fast.
I've applied for some days off in February and March, we've already got our whole roster for January! Got my tickets for Splore and SoundSplash today, exciting! Gonna wait till I get my days off approved before booking my tickets to Wellington (not to mention to the Tuwhare show happening in Wellington when I plan to be down there).

Dad's finally got his own computer (bought it for himself for christmas), so he can stop hogging mine! Though we don't really have any room for another computer... Our garage is pretty jam packed with stuff. We haven't had a car inside since August!! I don't really want to volunteer to clean it up.

Having some friends over for dinner tomorrow night...
What to cook...
Think I know what I'm doing as the main course, but I've got to work out entres and find a recipe for the desert i was gonna make. May as well do that now while I'm at work!

This year has generally been wonderful.

give a thought

why does it rain in december [17 Dec 2005|07:38pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | audioslave - doesn't remind me ]

Oh goodness, I'm tired. I'm in my last half hr at work, just worked nine days straight. Today was meant to be a day off but someone called in sick, and as it was raining (I did have beach plans) I decided I'd go in. Glad about the overtime, it'll make pay day nice. Think I will get my bro a ps2 for xmas. They aren't really that much, probably cos ps3 is out next year (and the xbox360). I'm kinda watching Iron Chef on the Food channel at the moment, it's not a channel we look after, but oh well. Lucky I've already eaten otherwise it'd be torture.

Saw The Situations perform last night. It's been a couple of years since I've seen them - I think last time was when I was in 2nd year at uni and they played in the quad as Devil Gate Drive. They've certainly got better. They're opening a couple of White Stripe shows in Australia next month, which'll be excellent exposure for them!! Last night they opened for Grand Prix who I really enjoyed, Lee and I both ended up buying the album - they were impressive.

Haven't got any plans for new years yet. Hmm. Doesn't bother me. Sleep would be good. I start at 7am on new years day.

May go to Wellington in February or March, not sure which month yet. The Wellington festival should be on so I'll have to catch a couple of shows while I'm down there. I'm thinking March at the moment, I'd really like to catch Tuwhare - a concert with artists singing their interpretations of Tuwhare's poems. Wouldn't mind driving back up from Wellington and catching Jimmy Cliff live in Taranaki, hehe. March is ages away, but I'll have to apply for leave sometime - and buy tickets for things early.

give a thought

Sydney [25 Nov 2005|02:03pm]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | dramatic movie music ]

Back from Sydney, sunburnt but happy.
Got quite a bit of shopping done, nothing flash, more like necessary things. Pants, top, bag, well actually Amiria got me the bag for my birthday. It's a maroon colour with gold bits, looks cool.
Didn't see that many cute guys, well, a few at Bondi Beach, but none really in the city. I am not fond of Aussie accents, so even if I happened to meet someone it'd be better if they didn't talk, haha. My goodness, the white Aussie chicks are browner then me, i need to get out into the sun more!!
Amiria and I stayed at her relatives (well, not blood relatives but definitely like whanau) for a night. They were so lovely. Andrew picked us up from town and we went to their house and made pina coladas and drank them in the sun while waiting for the bbq to be ready. mmm, drink and food was so good. we chatted while watching "Coming to America" (funny movie) and then we went out dancing till the early hours of the morning, that morning also happened to be my birthday!!
We stayed at a backpackers in the city called "Wake Up" the other two nights. It was cool there, and only a small walk away from Darling Harbour and Market City. I primarily shopped, Amiria went out and did a lot of dancing. worked out pretty well for the both of us!!
Oh, it was funny in the mall (Bondi Junction, huge huge place). There was a stand in the middle section with people trying to sell stuff (as per every shopping mall) and i saw that Amiria had been caught by someone! i went prancing over, thinking yep, i can rescue her!! then the guy starts talking to me and i forget what i was going to say... he had this lovely European accent, sounded french. he asks for my hand and starts to buff my nails, while he continues talking (i wasn't paying attention to what he was saying, just that the accent was lovely). he puts this other stuff on too and then massages my hand with hand cream. no wonder Amiria stopped!! and yes, i fell for it and bought some of the product. $25, not too much, and i did need some nail care stuff anyway (yes, i'm just trying to justify the purchase). he was lovely. he also mentioned coming to NZ to do some surfing or something.
think Amiria found a guy when she went out dancing. a guy originally from wellington, his name's david i think. a shame our trip wasn't longer otherwise they would've met up again, but still cool for her. i was busy meeting girls, hahaha.

give a thought

I'm splendid, how are you? [14 Nov 2005|10:19am]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Some Rialto film on in the background ]

Getting really excited about going to Sydney this weekend :-D should be loads of fun!! It's just three nights, but it should be brilliant!

Still contemplating going to the big day out next year, i would quite like to see Franz Ferdinand, The White Stripes, Iggy Pop and the Magic Numbers. I've got the Magic Numbers in my car at the moment, really pleasent sounding - hope they're on one of the smaller stages.

I'm training in the movie suite (well, not today but other days) and that's going well. I do get a little distracted watching movies at times... but other times there's utter crap on. I watched Real Women Have Curves the other day, I liked that... oh, actually that was a good day, there was also Sleepless in Seattle and 10 Things I Hate About You. Haha, chick flick day.

Couldn't resist going into Newmarket after work Saturday, Lorraine was gonna take the bus in and I said I'd give her a lift (and look at the shops too of course!) Got a cute skirt and another singlet. I know I know, should be saving my clothes shopping till Sydney, but the temptation!!
Think Lorraine and I are gonna get our colours (make-up stuff) done on the day of the xmas function so we can turn up all pretty :)

Can't believe it's nearly the end of the year!
It's actually been the best year I remember having, with 2001 coming a close 2nd. I think it's a combination of things, but the biggest being that I've felt consistantly happy the whole year!! Sure, sad things have happened, biggest being Daniel and I breaking up - but I've managed. Afterall, there's been more good in my life then bad.
I feel so appreciative and grateful for everything and everyone in my life.
I feel calm and collective. I feel warm and complete.
I feel great!
If things stay like this for the next month and a half, it definately would've been a brilliant year for me :)

1 remembered| give a thought

Young, single and free [17 Oct 2005|09:19am]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | slowly surely - jill scott ]

Have a live journal now. Can't remember my password though, haha.

Been singing a lot, mainly in my car. Need to go out and get some new speakers soon, then i can turn it up and listen to the bass!! Been listening to all sorts. Goldfrapp, Amos Lee, Supergrass... this morning i was listening to Jill Scott...

Slowly surely,
I walk away from
that old desperate and dazed love
caught up in the maze of love
the crazy craze of love
thought it was good
thought it was real
thought it was
but it wasn't love

I just don't know
Where i should go
Slowly surely
I walk away from
constantly hurting me love
deserting me love
you said, I said, we said

Slowly surely
I walk away from
confusing love
misusing love
abusing love
this can't be

Slowly surely
I walk away from
self serving
constantly hurting me love

I just don't know
where I should go
I just don't know
know, know, know
Where I should go

Slowly surely
I walk away from
that old desperate and dazed love
caught up in the maze of love
the crazy craze of love

Reflection's such a funny thing. I look back at what me and Daniel had and it was love, a beautiful love.
Near the end it was a hurting love...
There are so many happy memories that warm my heart. But we are young, and it's not such a bad thing it ended. If we were meant to be together, we'll find eachother one day - if destiny does exist. Though I do believe in karma - good people are rewarded with good things, what goes around comes around... So yea, one day my perfect someone will find me :)
For now, it's time to walk away from love.

give a thought

On my own again... [07 Oct 2005|08:15pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | The Dreaming Tree - Dave Matthews Band ]

Well, 2years after Daniel and I got back together, we've broken apart.

I'm not as broken as last time.

It was 4 beautiful wonderful years I'll never forget.

Now it's time to let go.

If we were really meant to be together, it'll happen.
I like to think soul-mates do really exist.

I'm not looking for anyone.

I've got quite a few friends in their late 20's who advised that being in your 20's is the greatest time to be single. Because as you get older your looking more to settle down (husband/kids etc) and then you'll no longer have the freedom of being single. So I've been thinking about taking their advise and staying single and seeing the world. Apparently people are friendlier and more approachable if you're single, rather then being with someone (then they think you don't really need any help).

Still wanna work in NZ for a couple of years first though.

Just have to stay looking on the bright side of life.

Can't help but listen to DMB though...

"Daddy come quick
The dreaming tree has died
I can't find my way home
There is no place to hide
The dreaming tree has died
Oh if I had the strength
Take me back
Save me please"

give a thought

proud new owner of a Mitsi RVR [01 Sep 2005|09:18am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Chattering of the women on "The View" ]

got a new car, yay!!
got it at turners auctions, was sorta unreal bidding live (rather then an online auction). took the car to wellington last week and it ran perfectly, probably not such a good thing that i'm clocking up the k's so fast though!

happy i've got a new car :)

sad my friend claire's now living all the way in wellington...

sad my b/f's started smoking :(

happy work's going well

give a thought

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