broken up....   
07:17am 01/10/2003
 
mood: flirty
music: Numb- Linkin Park
Sorry I haven't updated in a while....
To Amy and Benj: I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out......
benji i think you're cute
i didn't just say that!!!
And to Seb: I think I found someone for you........... AMY
To Amy: would you date Seb?
To Seb again: would you date Amy?

I'm confused already!!!
AHH!
Ok I'm gonna go for now... but I'll be back hopefully soon.....
Much <3,
Kelly		  
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JUST SO YOU PEOPLES KNOW....   
04:01pm 23/09/2003
 
mood: bouncy
music: From the Inside- Linkin Park (no duh)
i made a new account for joel_gc_madden, benji_maryland.. and all those other people in that community its:
heathermadden
I made it cos in my like_to_play community.. people were getting confuzed with me so.... I'm not kelly anymore (with joel and them) i'm Heather [which is just the REAL me]
so uh ill see you around on like_to_play as Kelly..... and see you around as myself on ......heathermadden		  
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freezing............   
07:40am 20/09/2003
 
mood: awake
music: The Day That I Die- GC
[god it's not even WINTER yet......... AND I'M FREEZING MY ASS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my comp is out on the porch.. the porch doesn't have heating.. you see how it is]
I saw Seb last night at WalMart... he was REALLY surprised i think!!!! I was walking down a mag aisle.. and i saw him, and he screamed REALLY LOUD!! I think i went temporarily deaf.. but i screamed too.... then i wouldn't stop shaking it was sorta funny cos people walking past us were looking at us weird.... they were looking at me even WEIRDER earlier cos i was trying out the 'Benji streaks' and some dickhead people were like "Oh look.. she's crying HAHA!" I told them offffffffff!!!!!!!!!! But people were like.. avoiding me so i just took them off like what the fuck ever.... then thats when i ran into Seb [i actually saw Liz there i changed the story cos she was the one i saw]
well uh not much else going on........... but i got one thing 2 say..........
Amy... you definitely got some competition for Benji!!!! I luv Joel 2, though!! :)
Well I think i'll go for now.... i'll be on and off all day......		  
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I'm NOT doing this for attention   
08:01pm 18/09/2003
 
mood: crushed
music: Easier to Run- Linkin Park
[I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like all of my friends have........... rejected me!!!!!!!!!
My mom doesn't even trust me!! WELL IS IT MY FAULT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME not its not.. I said NO but he did anyways!!!!!! I'M NOT GOING INTO DETAIL.... it atarts with an 'R' im not finishing it.......
Everyone treats me like shit... i think i might deserve it too......... When I TRY to act happy at school, home, etc.... everyone looks at me like I'm an idiot... so I just act as if nothing has EVER happened to me... My mom is about to put me on anti-depressants.. I've tried to commit suicide SO many times now it's not even funny.....
I even try to act happy on HERE but it's impossible...........
I think the ONLY person I can really trust is my best friend, Liz..... though sometimes she acts like I'm not here best friend at all I still trust her.........
I just sit in my room all night.. if i'm not doing that I'm talking on the phone with Liz... for hours.... she and my mom are practically the ONLY ones who know about my mental condition... but now everyone reading this knows..........
AND NOW MY BOYFRIEND WANTS TO GO TOO FAST
I've gotten that already from 2 people!!!!!! MY FATHER AND MY EX!!!!!! BEING RAPED TWICE IS NOT FUN
Well I know some of you aren't even listening at all...... oh well I'll end this....
Ok.. now you all know how I live.. wanna trade lives??? I DIDN'T THINK SO...
*sorry if I sound like a total bitch.. I'm just in one of my weird moods*
...........
Heather......... (I'm not role playing this was REAL) ]		  
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vma's   
09:12pm 17/09/2003
 
mood: flirty
music: Stupify- Disturbed
i know i looked REALLY bad at the VMA's but i didn't really care.......
That night I was *sorta* late so i just threw something together.... I REALLY wanted to impress Benj and Joel..... but I'm not DESTINED FOR THEM.........
Ahh well....
who gives a shit??
I had to stand next to that POSER though......... [yes Avril is a POSER] She would not stop fuckin talkin to me at the after party!!!!!!! I was kinda trying to.. uh how would i word this?? *lure* Joel to me.... i saw him there for like..... 5 minutes.. then they said something about going home.. and I was so upset!!!
When GC performed, though, I thought I was having a god damn heartattack!!! i got so fuckin jealous when Benj kissed Paul on the cheek.... so...... yeah
Well i think i should go for now.. ya know i got band practice VERY early tomorrow.. its almost 10:00 here mum says i should just go to bed... so yeah i think i will
later		  
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ozz_child