Blurty for Pyro.

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Saturday, January 17th, 2004

Time:7:47 pm.
Mood: content.
Music:"Beat Me" by Custom.
Yesterday I when we were leaving to go to Spot's play I had "Killing me Softly" stuck in my head and I kept on humming it and I turned on the radio and it was on, it was kind of cool, because I really wanted to hear it.

The play was actually pretty decent, but it was really odd. All the cast wore solid black and they just had props and some masks. Spot's music was pretty good too, she improvised it all. I got there fifteen minutes early because Dad had to be at Morgan Creek for dinner by 7:00, but Hill showed up pretty soon after I did so we talked for a while. She kept going on about Ian, it was funny, she's really cute when she gets all excited about something. Step, Danica and Kirstin were there too. The Elgin theater is tiny, it's wider than it is long and all the seats are connected so when one person moves, the whole row moves. Hil phoned her parents and got her mom to go buy flowers for Spot and after the show Step had to go home and the rest of us went to DQ because the cast was going there. Then we went to Spot's house and hung out there for a while. Spot asked for my blog, but I told her I don't give it to people and she said "Doesn't that defy the point?" which I don't get. I don't really care if people read this, but I don't particularily want to just give it to my friends because I don't usually tell them everything, and isn't the whole point of keeping a journal or a blog to write about your life and your thoughts for yourself? I need to get a real journal though, because I'd like to be able to write whenever I want instead of just when I'm online.

Hil and Danica were talking about how some kid at their school apparently tried to hang himself and the branch broke and I said something about how it's weird how you hear about things like that and you don't ever really think about it happening to you and your friends and everyone else was like, "not really." I don't think I worded it too well, but Hil kind of got what I was saying. She said it's like you hear about things and it all seems so removed from your life and then you realize that it really isn't. I just find that when it's happening my life just seems normal because I'm lving it, but then if I look at it from a different viewpoint, I find myself thinking, I know people that are into drugs, and I know people who get depressed - hell, I'm one of them - I know people that have tried to kill themselves, I'm gay, I have friends who are gay or bi, and people who are getting kicked out of their houses. When it's happening you just go with it, but every once in a while I start to think about things and that's when it really hits me. I guess part of it is that the way I look at people is by seeing them as a person overall and then every once in a while, it hits me that they fit into a stereotype, or I fit into a stereotype and it seems odd to me to see people that way.

I want to tell Spot, but I'm pretty much never alone with her. Blah. I could have told her and Danica yesterday but I didn't. I'm not entirely sure why, but I kind of want to tell Spot before Danica. Bean and Spot are the people I want to tell right now, and Mrs. Rodgers, kind of.

Spot broke up with her boyfriend. It's kind of odd how her and Hil both broke up with their boyfriends so close together.

This morning I we had our first fencing lesson. We showed up and Step was there. She said that she didn't know I was taking it, but I'd mentioned it to her when she said she'd gotten lessons for Christmas and I asked her when it was and she didn't know. Mrs. Hall said that I should ask her things like that, not Step.

Fencing was fun. The stuff we learned today was pretty straight-forward. It'll probably be more fun when we get into more difficult stuff.

After fencing I Mom and I went to T&T. It was fun, I've got all my lunches for next week and some drinks and a bunch of different tofu deserts to try. We got aloe vera in juice and we tried some after dinner today. It's really good. It tastes a tad bit like lie-chee.

Carlene has Erin over working on their Utopia project for TOK. She seems like a neat kid. She's lived in Nigeria and gone to boarding school and stuff.

I can't wait to see Hil tomorrow. She said she's getting her tregis pierced today and it's going to look really good.

We're having an extra rehearsal tomorrow because we're going to be singing at a benefit for the Mount Olive youth group and there's only seven of us going. It's at Spot's place at noon. Aparently we might be hanging out there after, which would be fun. AJ isn't going because he got invited to go boarding for the weekend. We were talking about it last night and we decided that we're going to have to talk to him about commitment. We've known about this concert for ages and he's known about it and got invited to go after he joined. It's ridiculous, if he wants to be in the group it has to be a priority for him and he can't just blow off concerts with less than a week's notice to hang out with his friends. I don't think missing people should make too much of a difference though. We've done stuff with only a few people before and had people reading parts and it turned out fine. I actually like the sound of a smaller group a lot better.
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Subject:Weird dream...
Time:9:58 am.
Mood: contemplative.
Music:"Set the Night to Music" by Roberta Flack.
I had a really weird dream last night. I vaguely remember having part of it before, which is odd.

I was upstairs with my mom and I heard my dad start yelling and stuff and somehow I knew that he was getting pissed off at my step-mom, even though I don't have a stepmom. Then I hear a gunshot and he's yelling at us to get out of the house, so I went onto the roof and around to the back of the house and jumped down into the garden and god knows what happened to my mom. Anyways, I hear my dad coming outside so I ran over to the Dionnes' place. When I got inside we hear my dad coming so we all dove behind the island in their kitchen and my dad came in with a gun and was going to shoot us all when Danny came in with a rifle and then a couple other people pulled out guns - one person had two and one of them was one of those gun shapped lighters - and they somehow got my dad to drop the gun.

I'm not entirely sure what happened next, there was something where there were a bunch of people sitting around and we all had to sing part of a song, and I got all pissed off because I'd chosen my song and when I started to sing Max or maybe it was Hil, I think it was Max, started singing too and everyone thought it was him and was going on about how good it was, so I left.

Then there was a bunch of people who were all my family, except none of them are actually related to me and we were all in the Dionnes' living room, except it was my living room and it was where their laundry room is and Autumn was there. Autumn and I decided that we should date and then my brother, who I'm pretty sure was actually Jay, came in and was going to shoot Autumn and I turned us around so I was facing her with my back to him so he'd have to shoot me instead and I had this weird sensation like I could feel the gun trained at my back. Then Autumn and I were going to watch some documentary on Buff and wound up messing around in the middle of the living room.

Then I woke up for a while.

When I got back to sleep I was with Laney and we got into her car and were going somewhere and we drove past the house next to where Black Bond is and it was a store that sold vintage clothes with really loud patterns and I made some comment about how Cody would love that place and one of the shirts was the same as one that my mom had. Then we went past where the Geddarts live and the phone rang and I answered it and it was a phone company. Then my dream cut to a news cast about a bunch of people getting murdered lured into the townhomes on 24th when we were going to go in there, but we left instead.

Then I think I woke up again.

Then I was in my bedroom and that Mickey poster I had was on a different wall and there was another one next to it that went with it. Then I flipped the poster over because there was another picture on the other side and the pictures on both of the posters started moving around and stuff. Then I was in the entrance to a movie theater and there were signs for a couple different animated shows and no one wanted to see the Mickey Mouse one. Then Autumn showed up there and we went through a door and we were in the living room from before and we were going to watch TV until quarter after - who knows quarter after what - and then go upstairs. She kept on asking me how far I wanted to go and I kept saying as far as you want and she was getting all annoyed at me and that's when I actually woke up.

......the part I remembered is up until I ran over to the Dionnes' place I don't remember having him start following me over there before, but that may have been the other dream where I was on the porch and I heard him shoot someone. Jeez I have messed up dreams, but hey, they're interesting. Can't say that that this one was bad though with all the Autumn-ness.
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Friday, January 16th, 2004

Time:5:13 pm.
Back away slowly kiddies, this one's Deeply Disturbed
'Deeply Disturbed' PLEASE VOTE!!!

What Type of Lunatic are You?
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Subject:Hide-and-seek at school! Boo Ya!
Time:4:44 pm.
Mood: calm.
Music:"Killing Me Softly" by Roberta Flack.
So, I updated this last night and the stupid thing didn't work and I lost it all. Pissed me off.

Anyways, Saturday night was fun. Carlene had Chris, Sydney, Verena, Kate and Amy over, so I hung out with them and did henna for a few hours. I did a barbed-wire arm band on Chris and it turned out really well. They went kinda nuts though. We used up about two and a half bags of henna. Then we played Cranium for a while. I wound up with Chris and we sucked ass, it was funny. She kept giving people hints until they got the answer, which was kinda irritating. Then we went over to sydney's at like 2:00 in the morning and played the animal game in her back yard and then went in to get her stuff and I was telling Chris about the plan and how people actually thought we were serious and she thought it was funny and she kept going "finally somone who understands." lol.

Monday I had a Chem final. I did bad on the multiple choice and really well on the written, but I still got 81%, so that's okay-ish. After the exam I went and looked for Autumn because she had a spare, but I couldn't find her and Max had gone home to get his Can. Lit. report, so I wound up writing in the book. I now know where Karen's C block class is, as stalker-ish as that sounds, but I just happened to walk by and I notice these things. We had Mr. Bently for English because Mrs. Pertersen broke or cracked some ribs and he had people guess how old he's turning and I got chocolate because I was one of the three closest guesses. I knew he was born in the 20's though, so I had an advantage.

Rehearsal went really well on Monday. We got through all of Ja-Da and we didn't even spend a whole rehearsal on it, plus most people were like half an hour late. Suprise. I'm really happy with how much we got done though, it's going to be really good with a little more practice. It's pretty repetative too, which helps a lot.

On Tuesday I decided to wear my white shirt with the stripes on it and my black suit jacket and black pants. For some reason, wearing clothes like that tends to put me in a really good mood. When Autumn got to school she's like "did you dress up for the English mock?"...apparently I looked cute. I'm not supposed to be cute.

After we finished the mock Max, Bean, Autumn, Jillian, Bridget, Cara and I were all out in the hall looking at a prom magazine Bean had. It was kinda fun and I got to use Autumn for a back rest and I was all comfy. As much as I think prom is stupid I think it's actually going to be fun. I dread shopping for a dress though. I'd kinda rather wear a suit or something instead, but Max would kill me and I don't really have a problem with wearing a dress as long as I can find shoes I can walk in. Max and I said we were going to prom together and Autumn's all like "that's so cute, you're spending your lives together" or something like that. blah. More like the likelyhood of either of us actually dating anyone by the time prom comes around is pretty bad, so why not go together?

Wednesday I had another Math mock. I got 80% on it. YaY. Christie got 39%, which is amazing considering she left at the beginning of lunch and almost never comes to class. After I was done I went to the PAPA class to see Bean and I wound up talking to Sophie because they were doing homework together. She was talking about how she hates it when people act all superior. Now that's the pot calling the kettle black.

We got to choir late because Jill had car troubles. Something shorted out in the van and apparently their radio was smoking, so now they have no radio, horn or dome light. Choir went really fast. By the time it was over I wanted to keep going because we were singing Carmena Burana and I love that piece. I found out that Hil and Mike broke up. Apparently it happened a couple weeks ago.

Yesterday Theresa was on the bus in the morning and we went down to the caff so she could buy a muffin and we wound up doing word search that Cody had for homework for almost half an hour. I had a French mock. We got it back today, and I'm so fucking stupid. I put nine of the multiple choice questions in the booklet instead of on the scantron, so I could have had seven more marks out of 90, which makes a huge difference. Anyways after I finished I went to the commons area and Bean and Autumn were already there, so we played a game of Rummy and then a game of Go Fish with Megan, Crystal and Veronica. Then Autumn, Megan, Veronica, Carlyne, Bean and I decided to play hide-and-seek. It was so much fun. We were all running around the halls and Autumn and Megan hid in the balcony in the box gym and some kids went in and they were like "ummmmm....we'll just give you some space." They played another round in C block, but I decided to go to Chem and study instead. Bean and I were paired up when we were playing hide-and-seek and I almost told her, but then I figured the hallway at school next to a whole bunch of classes when we've got people running around searching for us might not be the best time.

After school I saw Owens. He said I can go to orchestra rehearsals on Tuesdays and Thursdays whenever I want but they're just learning the music now so I don't have to go yet. I also got a notice about the band trip to Edmonton. It overlaps with the choir trip because Mr. Horning changed it. *shakes fist* Damn him, that's two years in a row. Owens said he thinks there's one space left on the band trip, so I'm going to see if I can get into that. I'd rather go to Edmonton than wherever the hell we're going with choir in central BC or something, but I don't talk to most of the band people much, other than Chris and Sydney and Tony because he's in my Chem class, but Costa Rica was great, so it should be fun.

Rehearsal was long, but it wasn't that bad. I'm getting better at Blow Gabriel Blow, Anything Goes and Bon Voyage, plus we finished around 6:00, but I played for the Angels for a while so I was there until twenty after.

Last night I got really pissed off because I was waiting for Carlene to get out of the bathroom and she didn't call me and I lost track of time writing in this thing and didn't get to bed until after 11:00, plus the stupid thing crashed and I lost the whole entry. I turned the radio on really loud and Carlene got all pissed off and started banging on the door and yelling at me and apparently it woke Mom up and she couldn't get back to sleep so she didn't go to school today because she was too tired. Oops.

Today we had another English mock. I think I did better than I did on the last one. After I was done I went down to the commons area and I saw Max there and we joined a game of hide-and-seek. Sophie had recruited like half of the TOK class to play, so there was about a dozen of us. It was so much fun. Autumn is way too good at that game. She apparently went into Mr. Clauson's class and dove under his desk when he was sitting there because she saw Kit coming. Then she and Sophie were in a cupboard in the sewing room and we were all looking for them for ages. We played three rounds, it was great fun.

I couldn't find Max after school, but MEH. I talked with Bean for a while. Then I went and found Chris, Sydney and Cody and hung out with them for a while.

Christie said she's graduating early if she passes Math, which is cool, but I'll probably never see her except for at the musical rehearsals. She thinks they'll let her stay in the musical because she's graduating and not just dropping out. They tried to kick her out, but then they said she can sing and if she learns the choreography she can be in the dances too. I told her that I'd bring henna to school some time, so if I remember I think I'll take some on Monday. She might even be there if I'm lucky. lol.

I'm going to see Grimm Tales at Elgin tonight. Apparently the play really sucks, but Spot's doing the music, so it should be interesting. Kirstin, Step, and I think Hil and Danica are going too and someone said something about hanging out afterwards, but I don't know if that's actually happening or not. Spot better have a ticket for me though, because she didn't have enough on Monday and she wasn't at choir on Wednesday. I talked to her mom though, so there should be one waiting for me at the door.
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Saturday, January 10th, 2004

Time:5:39 pm.
Mood: blank.
Music:"Mack the Knife" by Ella Fitzgerald.
So yesterday was pretty boring. They changed the block order so I had a double block of Chem instead of English. Tony and I were going to play Cribbage, but that didn't happen because the class was freaky quiet pretty much the whole time. I had my music for "The Prayer" with me because I wanted to look at the Itallian part so I was going through and listening to the song and making marks in my copy and Buller had to chose that moment to walk by and it didn't help that Tony was next to me playing some card game.

In English we had to do this thing about love vs. lust in 1984 and today. It was kind of interesting and it was easy and time wasting, so that was good. At the end of class I made Guido listen to "Under the Willow Tree" and she said she'd read an article about the opera it came from. Apparently it was just written recently and the composer had never written anything before and it was really successful, but she couldn't remember what the name of the opera was. ARG.

After school Max and I stayed and talked to Mrs. Rodgers. It was interesting. Apparently she used to sit stare at her wall and think when she was a kid and people thought she was crazy. She was looking at the teachers' bulletin and it said that Chayse has withdrawn from the school and we asked her if she knew what was going on with him and she told us we should ask Karen. Been there, done that. Looks like we're not going to find out what happened with him unless we run into him somewhere.

I pretty much did nothing all night. Played the piano for a bit and came on line. I was going to go to bed early-ish, but I started reading fic's and didn't get to sleep until almost 1:00.

Today I got up at quarter to twelve. Came online and then went to Blackbond with mom. Max phoned and we talked for a while. Mom kept telling me to just hang up and have him over which really pissed me off, because I didn't actually feel like having him over and she doesn't seem to realize that when she's talking to me whoever I'm on the phone with can usually hear everything she's saying.

Carlene's got people coming over at 7:00. Chris and Sydney are going to be here, and I think Kate and Vareena are too. Anyways, dinner's on the table, so I've got to go.
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Thursday, January 8th, 2004

Time:8:28 pm.
Mood: okay.
Music:"Mack the Knife" by Ella Fitzgerald.
So yesterday started off great. NOT. Mom was washing her hair when I wanted to start showering and for some reason it really pissed me off. Then I went downstairs and stepped in dog barf because she was sitting in the kitchen with the lights off like she always does, so I couldn't see it.

Chem was boring, but I actually studied, so that was good. Autumn wasn't at school yesterday, it made me sad because I was all alone in English *tear and a half* lol. Christie was at school in the morning, but she wasn't in English or Math. I'm kinda worried about her because her life is pretty messed up, and it kind of bugs me when people mess up their lives and I know she needs the math mark. She's not on the bus anymore either, so I get to sit alone in the morning again. blah. We had our first mock final in Math. It took me until after lunch to finish it, but that's not too bad considering I barely studied. We got them back today, and I got 30/44 on the multiple choice part and like 34.5/36 or something like that on the written part. Weird, you'd think that I'd do better on the multiple choice part. After I finished the test I went to PAPA to talk to Bean and Janet didn't show up until almost 1:00. YaY.

Max came over after school. I didn't particularily want him to come over, just because I wasn't in the greatest mood and I kind of wanted to just sit alone and do nothing, plus I haven't really gotten a chance to talk to Chris much since school started.

Rehearsal went pretty well. It was just Max, Lindsay, Step, AJ, Kristen and I. Step brought the recording of "The Evil Spork" so we listened to that. It was really good. She used the Excorcist theme in the beginning and it worked perfectly and she added sound effects and stuff. We went over "Concordiae" for a while and managed to get through the first page of "Ja-Da." I love that song, and I think we're going to be able to get it down pretty well if we work on it. Then we went over some of the stuff we know really well so that AJ could try it, so that was fun. AJ brought ju-jubes and I we ate almost all of them. Way too much candy.

Today I talked to Chelsea before school. Christie wasn't there again. Autumn was at school today, but she deserted me half way through English because she got bored. We got our Math mocks back. I had double French, which was boring as all hell. Autumn and Bean had a Math mock today, so they had the block after lunch free. I mentioned my mark on my mock to Autumn and she got all ticked off because I did reletively well on it. We had to write a composition in French because of the double block and I finished early and went to visit Autumn and Bean. I wound up staying until about five minutes before the bell and we managed to play two games of Rummy. I read about two pages of notes in Chem. Cole was being such a fucking idiot, but what else is new. I was almost asleep and Tony poked me in the forehead. Stupid kid. *shakes fist*

After school I had rehearsal. I was hanging out with Max, and at like ten to, I said I was going to rehearsal and I was going to go find Chris. He decided to go talk to Harmond, so he followed me, but I went to talk to her anyways and he went to find Harmond.

Rehearsal was loooooooonnnnnnggg. 3:00 until 6:30. I actually managed to play pretty well considering I haven't really looked at my music since last rehearsal. I hate playing for the stupid musical. It's such a pain and I don't really like playing the songs enough to bother practicing, even though I really should.

Lindsay just posted that Sarah Brightman is coming to Vancouver on Feb. 27. I really want to go, but the tickets are $69, $89 and $125. So much money for someone without a job. lol. Damn all the singing without getting paid. lol.

ARG. I just remembered that I've gotta read more of 1984 for tomorrow. It's a really good book, but I don't like the fact that I HAVE to read it. It's interfering with my doing nothing time.
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Tuesday, January 6th, 2004

Subject:Back at school. Blah
Time:9:41 pm.
Mood: tired.
Music:"Mack the Knife" by Louis Armstrong.
So school started again on Monday. The freaking bus didn't come in the morning. We were standing outside waiting for like 15 minutes and ended up getting a ride to school with Amanda. It was weird because I don't remember the bus ever breaking down and just not showing, but our bus and the one to the boonies both broke down on the same day.

I didn't have the Chem mock like I thought we had, which is definitely a good thing because I've got until Monday to study in class.

After school Max had to wait for Mom to get there so I waited with him and Autumn was getting a ride too, so I we all hung out for a while. It was freaking freezing outside but I had Autumn to keep me warm. :) Max was like "you two should date, you'd make a cute couple" out of nowhere. lol. Autumn has a gorgeous German Shepherd. After Autumn left I went to talk to Chris and them and we went outside because she wanted to and I said that apparently Autumn and I should go out and she's like "ok, that's not who I'd picture you dating" and I asked her who she could see me dating and she started saying that when she sees me she doesn't just think, "oh, her and Autumn." lol. She seemed pretty caught off-gaurd, it was amusing.

Rehearsal went pretty well. AJ had a music history field trip to go play different instruments and stuff, so he didn't show up until almost 8:30. We got a lot done though. We worked on "Concordiae" for about an hour and a half and we actually got through the whole thing. It still needs quite a bit of work, but I think if we managed to get through that, we should be able to learn "Ja-Da" and stuff like that even though they're kind of tricky. You can really hear the difference in the tenor section. Apparently we were way too loud in "Open Now" though, so we'll have to get used to it. Kristen didn't show - suprise - stupid whore. How the hell can she forget? It's every fucking Monday at the same time.

Today it was supposed to snow 20 to 30cm, but that didn't happen. We maybe got one or two. Christie came to school today. She's not living with Brian anymore. She's renting her mom's basement suite. And she got tarot cards for Christmas, which is kind of funny because last year she wouldn't even touch them. At lunch Max and Scott decided to go outside so I went to bug Bean and I told her the limeric I wrote about her last night when I was bored.
There once was a girl they called Bean
She could pulverize our rugby team
She looked built to swim
And worked out at the gym
But to call her a man would be mean.
She loved it. It was really funny. She asked me to write it out for her so she could hang it in her room or in her locker or something, so I did and then she was all excited when I gave it to her.

After school I was waiting with Max for Mom to get there and I told him the Bean limerick and he wanted to write ones about everyone in Concordiae. It was kinda fun for a while and then he started going on about how the rhythms weren't right, which was bull, and totally pointless too, because who really cares. I told him if he didn't like it to write the damn things by himself cuz I could care less and he's all like "woah." It's a fucking limerick and it's pointless, but he was really pissing me off. He always talks about people that always have to be right and how annoying it is, and he fucking IS one of them. I almost went to go find Chris, but then I decided to not, and I'm not entirely sure why. I would have rather waited with them, but I guess I feel kinda obligated to wait with him even though he's been kinda getting on my nerves lately. Oh well.

After school I pretty much did nothing. I went on the internet and played piano for a while. I dug out some of the RCM books, which was kinda cool. I couldn't find my grade 9 book for the longest time because it was still in the bag from last year. I read a couple chapters in 1984, it's such a good book, but it's going to be butchered by the time I'm through with it. It was new when I got it and for some reason the way that I was holding it was making pages start to fall out. Meh.

For some reason I was freezing all day after I got home. I was sitting like two feet from the fire when I was reading and I was still shivering. It was really weird.

The whole Chayse thing is weird. Apparently no one knows where he's gone and he said something about having to do some things and he'd hopefully be back after Christmas if they let him go back to the school, but I think Autumn talked to some of the administrators and none of them know anything. It's all very strange, and it sucks, because he's a pretty cool kid.

We're having an extra rehearsal tomorrow because there's no choir. I think there's like 4 or 5 people not coming, but whatever. We won't really be able to work on new stuff, but we can go over some of the old stuff so AJ can learn it because we've got some benefit concert thing for a youth group on the 18th.
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Sunday, January 4th, 2004

Subject:We finally got to go to Vancouver
Time:8:11 pm.
Mood: blah.
Music:"Would You Like to Swing on a Star" by Frank Sinatra.
On Friday we went to Spot's for a games night. It was fun. We played Dream Phone, which granted, is pretty stupid, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. The 80's-nes of it is actually pretty funny. Then we played Twister, except Spot couldn't find her Twister board it so we made one by taping pieces of colored paper to the floor. Jazz and I were the spinner for the first round because my leg was still bugging me and she was knitting a wrist band for someone. The second round I "spun" and Max wound up in some pretty compromizing positions with Hil, which was pretty amusing. While we were there it snowed big time, around two inches by the time we left. It was ridiculous, and once again it was Debby driving us home. lol. Spot's mom offered to have everyone stay over but by that time Deb was already there and Hil is the only one who ended up staying which I think was partly because she was supposed to go to another friend's house and I don't think she really wanted to.

After we got home I was talking to Max on Messanger until around 2:00. We decided to go to Vancouver in the morning and Scott was going to come but he went tubing with Reko instead. It was pretty last minute. I told Max to phone and wake me up in the morning if the roads were okay to go, so he phoned at like 9:30. Then he phoned Tyler, but he was busy, then he invited Spot and Jazz, but only Spot couldn't come. We were going to try to get Dad to drive, but there was a truck blocking our road and Hil was giving Max a ride but I didn't know whether I could get a ride too until they were at Max's house. It was insane. Then I had to walk down to meet them because of the stupid truck. We got to the Park and Ride early though, and went to Tim Horton's so Max and Hil could get coffee and still got back in time for the bus.

We got to Vancouver and went to the place where Max got his industrial and they almost didn't give him a replacement one because he didn't have his receipt, but he was able to tell them enough about when he got it that the guy gave it to him. Then we went to Sugar Mountain. Hil got a present for one of her friends and we were all looking at the chocolate bars and we want to go back and get one for each person in Concordiae that represents them. Lindsay's getting Mounds. lol. She's gonna be pissed, but we already told her we were thinking aobut getting her a Double Decker because it says "big on top" so she'll be expecting it. Tyler's getting Sugar Daddy and Danica's getting Sugar Babies. We also went to the Rock Shop. Awsome store. Max got a pin that says "I (heart) naked twister" and I almost bought Autumn a "sorry I missed church, I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian" sticker. There was a magnet at Sugar Mountain that I wanted to get her, but it was like $8 and I can't remember what it said now, something along the lines of "I love girls."

We went to McDonalds for lunch because it was on the way and a couple stores above True Value Vintage and Max got a couple shirts and Hil bought some stuff too and we talked to the shop keeper for a while. We probably spent a couple hours at True Value Vintage. It was so much fun. They've got some really cool clothes and the people who were working there were really cool. They were helping us choose clothes and they kept showing us all the hideous things that they don't think they're ever going to get rid of. I got an orange shirt and I wanted to get a pair of shoes, but they were $50 and I didn't really need them. Hil had a $60 gift certificate so she bought a few things and she forgot about a wrist band that she'd tried on, so she kinda jacked that. Then we went for pizza and to Sacred Heart so Max could get his belly button pierced. Apparently there's a way better chance of rejection if you get the bottom pierced, but he did it anyways, and the guy who did it was the one that one of the girls working at True Value Vintage recommended and he was really good. Hil wanted to get her Tregis pierced, but she'd need a parent there so she couldn't, plus Max's appointment was at 5:00, so it was already making us late for Step's place. We didn't end up catching the bus back to White Rock until 6:17, so we were just a lot late, since we were supposed to be at Step's at 6:00, but MEH. It was fun, even if it was fucking freezing waiting for the bus. The whole day was really cool because I just felt really comfortable the whole time. I want to go back with Max and Hil. I might ask Hil to go to the flea market some time, she'd probably like it and I never do anything with her.

We got to Step's around 7:30 and they were watching Aladin. We did the Evil Spork play, then we watched some movie that Spot likes. That was pretty much all we did, but it was fun.

Today I slept in til after 11. YaY. I worked on homework for a while and actually finished my Chem worksheet thing, but I don't have answers so I have no idea how I did on it. MEH. Lucy phoned and wanted me to go play in the snow with her, but I couldn't because of the hockey game and homework. Blah. That sucked, because I haven't seen her in ages. The hockey game was interesting. Mr. Horning didn't show up. What an ass. He should have told us if he wasn't coming and actually had a reason and no one would have minded, but he just didn't show up. We're thinking he forgot wich is really stupid because we all remembered and he freaking made the commitment. So Max conducted again and he almost told them to announce us as Concordiae because it was just him, Lindsay, Step, Kirsty, AJ and me, but it's a good thing he didn't because Joan Webster showed up with her kid just before we went on and Mr. Horning probably would have killed us if he found out.

We're starting normal rehearsals again tomorrow, and AJ joined Concordiae so it'll be his first rehearsal. I think we're also going to rehearse on Wednesday because choir doesn't start until next week, so we should all be free, plus we're starting new music. We're going to start really working on "Ja-Da" and I want to do "Happy Together", plus we've got stuff like "Up on the Roof" which would be awsome if we can get it down. We want to enter the Fraser Valley Kiwanis Festival and we don't want to do any music that we've done in choir, for obvious reasons. We're not sure about the categories we can enter though, and right now it looks like we might be in the Community and Church Choirs category, which means we'd be up against the SCC, which would be interesting. I'd way rather be in another category because Mr. Horning might be pretty pissed, and if we beat the choir he'd be really pissed and if the choir beat us he'd probably rub it in our faces.

I do not want to go back to school tomorrow. I've still got to finish reading the first five chapters of 1984 for English. It's a good book, but I just haven't been reading much. I also haven't finished my Math mock but I don't think I'm going to bother - I've done the whole multiple choice section though - and Chem I really should have looked at more because I just did the quiz thing and didn't really look at the book at all, but MEH. Stupid mock on the first day back. GRR. God knows how I'm going to get to bed early enough tonight. I was up until after 2:00 yesterday and didn't get up until after 11:00 today and I have to freaking get up at 6:00 tomorrow. Blah. I hate school, and I hate homework and the fact that for some reason it really bugs me when my parents start asking me about my work doesn't help me get anything done.

I need to find my headphones. I have no idea where the hell they went and I need them for school.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, January 1st, 2004

Subject:New Years was so much fun!
Time:9:17 pm.
Mood: happy.
Music:"Down With the Sickness" by Disturbed.
Tuesday it snowed. I think we got a couple inches or so. We had a Concordiae rehearsal, which wasn't really nescessary because we aren't doing the hospital concert tomorrow, but MEH. Kristen and Step didn't come because Kristen was skiing and Step had her N test, but she failed it. The rehearsal started at noon and we went until 2:30. Holly and Kaily came up and listened to our rehearsal for a while and Holly bought our Christmas CD. Mom took a picture of us with all the money we raised going Christmas carolling and she wants to put it in the Langley teachers' newsletter.

After the rehearsal we all went back to Spot's except for Max and Danica. It was actaully fun. I re-did one of Tyler's henna designs and then I wrote a giant e-mail to Bean, cuz I was kinda bored. Then I did a photoshoot, which kinda suprised me, cuz Spot never does photoshoots of me, but Kirstin kinda told her to. Whatever. Hilary did a couple and one of them was in this red tango dress that looked awsome one her and she kept complaining about how it "deflated" her chest. lol. It was short and had a slit and I liked it, I liked it a lot. *grin*

Yesterday we didn't end up going to Vancouver because there was about a foot of snow which meant the roads were crappy and buses were running about 45 minutes behind. Instead Max and Tyler went to the liquor store and then started walking here. I was supposed to pack my stuff and start walking to meet them, but Mom wanted me to help her shovel the driveway, so I called and left a message saying I'd call when I was going to leaave. Anyways, Max phoned wondering where the hell I was. The didn't actually go inside when they got back to his place, they just dropped off the stuff on the porch and left and they were already at the Bonzi place and I wasn't packed yet. When I left I met them about a minute after I left home and then we came back to my place because they wanted to sled down my hill. We wound up chucking snowballs at Carlene, Vereena and Kirstin (Carlene's friend). Tyler and I have the worst aim. It's pathetic. We got back to Max's around 4 I think and decided to make a really tall snowman. It was made out of five balls and it was at least 7 feet tall. Tyler went home to get his stuff so Max and I finished it. Then we went inside and we noticed that the snowman was about to fall over so we went to fix it, but we knocked it over by accident and had to make the top half again. Then we made a snow dog. I'm quite proud of it, it turned out really well, especially since we made it in the dark, unfortunately the snowman fell over again.

Tyler brought screecharoos and some air bombs with him, so we went to light them off in the park, then we went back to Max's and stuck a sparkler in the bottom of the snowman and had a snowman memorial.

Then we came back inside drank and played Lord of the Rings Monopoly until just before midnight and then went outside for a while. Then we came in, finished our game and decided to go outside and build an upside down snowman. Building an upside down snowman when you're drunk is not easy. We couldn't figure out why we couldn't lift the snowballs high enough. lol. But we had bottle caps to use for the face and buttons. It was such a fun night, except for the part where Tyler was sick. We went back into Max's and Tyler and I were lying on the bed. Tyler pretty much passed out right when he hit the bed and I said something about how we'd said Tyler was getting the couch and Max pulled him off the bed and he didn't even wake up. I wound up being on the board until 3:00 and Max and Tyler were alsleep by like 2:30. Tyler was sleeping in front of the door and I had issues getting in, then I had to climb over all Max's stuff to get onto the bed without waking him up.

We got up around 11:00 today and just lay around and talked. I had the weirdest dream. I was being stalked by some creepy guy at the mall and I had to go find Josh because the guy though Josh was gross and if I touched him he'd leave me alone. It was weird, and then, at the end of the dream I was telling Max about the dream. By the time we got up the upside down snowman had fallen over. The head stayed where it was, and the rest pretty much stayed together, so it looked like he'd fallen over and was just lying there laughing his ass off. It was great. After we ate we helped put away the Christmas decorations and then we went over to the park to go sledding. It was fun. The back right corner of the baseball diamond has a hill that goes down, through a gate and onto the next street. Of course, I wound up running into the gate and hurting my leg. When I hit, Max and Tyler were like "OHHHH" and apparently you could here "OHHHHHH" from down the street where there was a bunch of kids. It was really funny. Then I limped back to Max's, where I noticed that what I'd thought was a bruise was actually bleeding. Then we played Lord of the Rings Monopoly and I WON! I've finally won a game of Monopoly. Max went bankrupt first and Tyler was running really low and cash and had stuff mortgaged and had to leave so we didn't actually finish the game, but I WON! GO ME! I've been in an unusually good mood all day, it's very odd.

So my mom said she'd have liked to have us here for New Year's. Carlene had Kirstin and Vereena stay over and Sydney and Chris wound up here too, but they didn't stay over. Then they went out sledding until 2:30 in the morning. Vereena didn't leave our place until around 7:00.

Our new plan is to go to Vancouver on Saturday, since we couldn't go yesterday. I just hope that my leg will be okay to walk by then, because the places we want to go involve us walking like six blocks and right now, that would seriously suck and I don't want to miss going.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, December 29th, 2003

Subject:I can't wait 'til New Year's
Time:11:36 am.
Mood: content.
Music:"Crush" by Garbage.
So Evan and Adelina's was boring as all hell. I spent a lot of the time on messanger talking to Bean though, so that was better than it might have been. I tried to log on to Iyari but for some reason their computer wouldn't let me.

On the 27th I pretty much did nothing all day. It snowed a bit. I got bored and decided to make a steamed pudding. After I got it cooking the power went out. It was weird, it was only out in our neighbourhood - something about cables shorting out in the power box across from Kyle's or something like that. Anyways, Lindsay phoned and invited me over to her place. Apparently she hadn't seen anyone for three days and was going crazy. I got a ride with Max so he and Debby came over and had pudding. It was interesting, we made lemon sauce in the dark and Debby started helping Carlene knit and helping with the sauce and stuff and me and Max talked for a while and wound up being late to Lindsay's. It was only Lindsay, Max, Danica and I. Kirstin was supposed to come, but she cancelled so she could see other friends. Stupid people with their other friends. lol. We sat around and talked, bitching about Ashley and Mr. Horning and stuff like that, and did henna and listened to music. We also played with Lindsay's new palm pilot. Those things are fun. Danica, Max and I were passing it around and each adding to a story. I got home around 11:30 or so and we still didn't have power. Fun.

The next morning there was power when I woke up, which was good. I had to go to church because Max was singing "O Holy Night" and Cathlene can't play music with five flats, so I played for him and we also sang "What Child Is This." OMG Max was SO good. He got super loud without it sounding bad and it actually gave me chills. He was shaking after, it was kinda funny. After we finished singing we went out with the little kids and watched "Veggie Tales: The Toy that Saved Christmas" it was really funny. They had this cucumber that sang a song about how he had cookies for Santa and he shared them with a bank robber and a viking.

After lunch mom and I went to Winners. We spent so long in there it's kind of scary. I think we were there for at least three hours. They just kept bringing out new stuff. I decided that I wanted a button up shirt with vertical pin-stripes and I wound up with four of them. I also got a kind of army green sweater and two pairs of pants one pair of kakhis and a green marsh green pair that almost perfectly matches my concordiae shirt. I don't think I've ever gotten that many clothes at once in my life. I told my mom that she could take back the kakhis because I already have a pair and she wouldn't. I love getting new clothes when it's stuff I like, because it puts me in a really good mood, but it makes me feel guilty when my mom spends so much much money on me, especially when it's all at once and I don't really need it. After Winners we went to Danier Leather and I got a leather jacket. $279, regular $425. It's really nice and it has a liner, which is part of why I got it. I don't have a winter jacket that fits me and this one's supposed to be really warm. I've been wearing my jean jacket with a hoodie underneath for like two years because my old winter jacket is huge on me. I was talking to Bean last night and she got a leather jacket for Christmas. We're both going to wear them on the first day back at school and be all cool...riiiiiiiiiiteeeeee. It's kind of funny though, because Max, Bean and I all got leather jackets over the break. I kind of got mine because Max's was really nice and then my mom decided to take me there because of their boxing week sales, but still. Oh, and I'm gonna start wearing a pair of Carlene's old shoes that are kind of army boot-ish. I like them and my mom told me to take them, so who am I to argue? I just have to put polish on them because the toes are really scuffed up.

I can't wait until New Year's. It's going to be so much fun. We're going to Vancouver for the day because Max needs to get a new barbell for his industrial and he's considering getting his belly button pierced. We're also going to go to Value Vintage, but I have no idea where the heck it is because I've never been there, so he'd better know. It shouldn't be too hard to find the piercing place though, it's like a block over from Granville and we didn't really know where it was last time but we still found it.

Kirstin posted on the Concordiae board asking what everyone was doing for New Year's and it sounds like most people (or Lindsay and Hilary anyways) don't have plans. Lindsay posted saying she had no plans, but it has to involve large quantities of alcohol. I said ditto and so did Hilary, except she added that if anyone had such plans that maybe she could be included, and of course, me being me, I'd kinda like it if she was a Max's for New Year's, but I'm not going to ask him because it's been Max, Tyler and I hanging out for a while now, and Hil has never really been a part of that, and I don't think that when the three of us are hanging out getting drunk is a good time to change that. Plus if we invited her I'd feel like we had to invite everyone else too and I don't really want to do that.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, December 26th, 2003

Subject:Christmas is officially over
Time:2:00 pm.
Mood: okay.
Music:Carol of the Bells.
So yesterday was Christmas. I got woken up at 9:45 by Carlene yelling "Merry Christmas" at the top of her lungs not cool. I wanted to sleep in, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. So we opened presents and I got a sweater, blood red nail polish to use with my black crackle stuff, black walking shoes, aniseed candies and a vase to put them in, a cat figurine, a new hairbrush and that's pretty much it cuz Mom bought me some stuff before Christmas too.

After we opened presents we had our normal Christmas lunch of eggs and hollandaise sauce except Dad messed up the rue so it didn't thicken properly.

I pretty much spent most of the day on the internet. There were a few people on the Iyari board all day, so that wasn't too bad, but I was pretty bored all day. Max kept on phoning cuz he was bored too and his whole family was wondering why I wasn't there. Apparently they all think I'm always there for Christmas, which I'm not; I'm usually there for Easter and Thanksgiving, but never for Christmas because we're usually at Goo Goo's.

Goo Goo, Amanda, Jermy, Cathy and Rob came over around 4:30 or so. Uncle John couldn't come because he wasn't feeling well. I sat around with them for a while and then got bored and came online again. Then I worked on decorating the notebook Tyler gave me until Carlene called me for dinner and I somehow managed to lose the black sharpie on the way from my room to the kitchen and I still don't know where it is. Blah. I think there's another black one somewhere though, so it's all good.

I ate too much at dinner and then had flambed ice cream for dessert. Max phoned again and asked if I could come over and he almost wound up coming here and staying over, but he wanted to go boxing day shopping and didn't want to be up all night cuz he's going to his dad's tonight. I got a ride to his place from Cathy around 8:30 and stayed until around 11. It was fun. I free-handed henna around his belly button, which was odd cuz he asked me to even though he's all self-concious about his weight and stuff. It looked really good and I hope it turns out well. Then I did a design on the inside of my left arm which I really like, I left it on over night so it's really dark. After the henna we just lay around and talked. It was all weird cuz we weren't even listening to music or anything. Max said it reminded him of all the mornings we just lay in bed talking, and it really was like that. It was really cool. He also gave me my present from Emily. She got Max, Kirstin and I all a big bag of Christmas M&M's (so they're like half green! SCORE!) and a metal box shaped like a green M&M.

Debby dropped me off at home and then I came on the computer til like 1:30. I got to talk to Bean and Hilary it was fun. I'd e-mailed Hilary in the afternoon and basically told her that it meant a lot to me that she doen't care that I'm gay and she e-mailed me back saying she'd been meaning to thank me for telling her. lol. Then we talked and stuff, it was cool, I don't get to talk to her alone enough.

Bean's got plans with Chelsea and Janet for New Years and she doesn't want to spend it with them. Sucks to be her. She's starting to get pissed off with their attidues and she feels kinda like she's only included in their plans because they want to hang out at her house, which really bites. She asked me if I was busy on New Years because she wants to get out of spending it with them, but I told her that Max, Tyler and I had plans. Debby's going to let us go over there and drink and we're staying over after, which is good cuz my mom still thinks that I don't drink and my friends don't drink, which we almost never do, so she's not totally wrong there. It's gonna be fun. I want to get drunk out of my mind. I'd still kinda like to get all of Concordiae together, or most of us anyways, but what we've got planned should be fun.

We're going to Evan and Adelina's today for dinner. *pretends to be enthusiastic* My plan is to find a black sharpie, finish decorating the notebook Tyler gave me and read some of 1984 because I've got to do that for school anyways and probably get on the internet at least for a while. Last time actually wasn't that bad, I just sat around and talked with the adults most of the time and played Scrabble. Gotta love the scrabble games. I'm relatively even with most of the people there so it's always a pretty good game.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, December 24th, 2003

Subject:We made people's a good thing
Time:11:48 pm.
Mood: good.
Music:Carol of the Bells.
Tuesday I got to nothing...kinda. I went grocery shopping with Mom at Stupid Store. I got an aloe-vera drink with grape juice, it was good, but it pretty much just tasted like grape juice.

We went carolling again on Tuesday night and this time AJ came too. We were going to go in Danica's neighborhood, but we went to Spot's again instead because Danica had guitar until 7:30 and we wanted to start earlier than that. We made $226 and made two people cry. The first one said that sometimes you start to lose hope but then you see people like us and they give you hope, then when we finished doing her cul-de-sac she ran outside in slippers to give us more money because her husband had heard us, but couldn't come to the door and was really impressed. The second one said "this is what Christmas is about." We also went to a house where the lady said they couldn't donate because they were broke, and I felt really bad about asking her for money because I'd almost told Spot we should just leave before she did her little talk. But we made a total of over $560.

After carolling we went back to Spot's and had hot chocolate and stuff and I finished decorating Hilary's CD for her and she really liked it. Then Spot did a photo shoot of Danica and Hilary, but she only got a couple pictures with Hilary in them because she spent so long doing her makeup and Hilary had to leave relatively early to go to a friend's house. Then I fee-handed a huge henna tatoo all over AJ's forearm and it looked really good, I can't wait to see how it turned out; he was going to stay up all night so he could leave it on. I didn't see most of the pictures from the photo-shoot because I was doing henna on AJ, but Max came in and told me I had to see one of them because Hilary looked like Eliza Dushku, so of course I had to go. lol. She actually did really look like Eliza Dushku, it was really cool. I don't think I was home until after midnight because AJ's dad drove Max and I home and we were both doing henna on him when he got there so he waited for us to finish it.

When I was doing henna on AJ and no one else was around he kept on talking about how Spot is obsessed with Hilary and I said something like "Why not? Hilary's gorgeous" he agreed with that one, but he kept on talking about how he thought they might be lesbians and then he started talking about how Danica always hangs off some girl at school, Lizzy or something like that, and he thinks she's a lesbian. I don't know if that was his way of trying to ask me if I'm gay, or like a gague the reaction type thing or what, but he was really stuck on the subject and it was kinda weird, but hey, I thought he wouldn't care before and now I'm positive.

Today we went to sing at Softball City for the lunch thing....not a homeless lunch, but more like a "less fortunate" lunch. Anyways, we got there at 11:30 so we could set up and be ready to start at 12, which is when we were told we were singing, but at noon this guy walks in and does a set before us and plays for like half an hour. We're just like WTF, but we waited and we started around 12:30, but then they only had us do a 15 minute set instead of 30-45 minutes like we'd been told, and the place was pretty cramped, so we were waiting around for like half an hour trying our best not to be in the way, which of course was impossible. Basically we felt pretty unwanted, so we just left after our first set because there was no way we were going to wait around until 2:30 to sing another 15 minutes. Oh, and the guy that played the guitar before us was ticked off because apparently we were supposed to sing a song with him, I can't remember what it was right now, but it's in Christmas Spiritual Medly, and no one told us about it, so how the hell would we have learnt it? ARG. That pissed me off, because I like doing things like that but the idiots that ran the thing made it an ordeal and a waste of our time.

In the afternoon I pretty much sat around, went on the internet, wrapped Max's present and decorated Step's Tubular Bells CD and talked on the phone with Max. Mary phoned Mom and apparently she saw Max on TV for the P.E.A.C.E. Club presentation like two months ago. I asked Autumn to tell me when it was going to be on, but she never did. Meh, I didn't really expect her to remember anyways, but I wanted to see it.

We sang at the Christmas Eve service as usual this year, except we did the 9:00 service instead of the 7:00 one. There were a lot less people there. At the first one they always have extra chairs at the back because it's so full, but at this one the pews weren't even full. It was Max, Step, Hilary, Spot, Tyler, Lindsay and I. We sang "The First Noel," the Chantacleer (sp?) Ave Maria, "What Child is This" and "God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen," which according to Stewart, has the comma after the "Merry" interesting. Anyways, it went really well. I think that was the best we've done most of the songs, plus it was a smaller group, which I prefer anyways. I really liked the way we did "God Rest." We always do the first verse unison, second verse parts, third verse in a round and last verse with the descant, but when we did the rounds we started walking to the back when our part started singing. It was really cool. It felt almost like you were being drawn forward by the part before you, it was a really neat feeling. Plus Debby said that the acoustics really changed when we went from the front to the back and it totally changed the sound.

I decided to take communion at the service, I'm not sure why though, with the me not believing in God and all. Max, Step and I were the only ones out of the seven of us that took communtion. I guess that the way I look at it is that I'm in a church and taking part in things like that I'm just respecting thier beliefs and traditions. I know I don't have to, but that's just the way I choose to view it. It probably would have bothered me five or six years ago, but I guess I've gotten used to stuff like that and my view of it changed somewhat.

After we sang we did the whole shaking hands bit as usual. Some of the people that are in the choir were saying that they wanted to be fired and have us sing every week. RIGHT, that'll happen. NOT. Then Tyler and I went back to Max's for a few minutes because he'd forgotten to bring our presents to church with him. He gave me a really cool candle holder that balances and he gave Tyler a moon that's like the one on the mirror he wanted but we couldn't afford for his birthday. He really liked the Indian Buddah I gave him and the figurine from the plaster place at the flea market, and he said that he'd almost bought it for himself last time we were there.

Debby drove me home, and then our family sat around in the front room for a while. Carlene got all pissed off at me again for not shaking presents with her and decided to butcher songs that I was playing. Mom commented on how nice the versions of some of the songs I was playing were, the Christmas carols I got off the internet, and Carlene got all ticked off because she's been playing them for weeks. EWW and I went into her room today and it's gross. There's stuff piled all over the floor and it smells almost like Jordan's room. It's awful. I told her it smelt kinda mildewy and she decided to leave the door open. I can see why she didn't want Sydney and Chris to see her room when they were over.

Dad gave me rum in my eggnog because I asked him for it, and I think Mom was kinda ticked off at him for it, but whatever. Then Mom started asking me if I drink and if my friends drink and Carlene's like "ya, they do" then she shut up so I wouldn't get pissed off at her. Blah. I want to get really drunk on New Years. Actually, I'd kinda like to just get together with Concordiae, but I kinda don't think that's going to happen.

Anyways, Carlene was "negotiating" wake up times for Christmas morning (ie. bitching about wanting to get up early) but we managed to work up to 9:45, so that's pretty good. I've been waking up by then anyways, which is weird because usually if I can sleep in I'm asleep until around 11. MEH. I'm just glad we're not getting up at 8 or something stupid like that.

Right now I'm really liking Hilary. Ya, she's always been gorgeous, but ARG. I've told her that I'm gay, and I really wouldn't be supprised if she's figured out that I like her, cuz I tend to be obvious. She's always hanging off Spot and everything and they totally act like a couple. Tonight she was standing behing Spot and put her head on her shoulder and I was just like "awww, kodak moment." They would really make an awsome couple. Then during the service Spot was like stroking Hil's hand and for some reason I started wondering if it was driving Hil crazy, cuz I know when Autumn decides to bug me in English and does stuff like that it's pretty likely to drive me nuts.

I think part of the me liking Hil might be that I always go "OoooO, they might be Bi" when people act the way Her and Spot do around each other and the whole possibility of her actually being attainable adds to the attractiveness in a way, because it feels less like I'm wasting my time. But she freaking has a boyfriend and I'm a chicken shit anyways. Now Max has one more person to bug me about, cuz I tend to talk more about people I like so he'll definitely figure that one out. Hell, he figured out that I like Chris within like a week. When he asked me "Autumn, Christie or Kirstin" that was bad enough, but if it changed to "Autumn, Christie, Kirstin or Hilary" then that would just be evil.

Hil said something about how tonight it started to really feel like Christmas. I'm just not getting it. Of course I haven't for quite a few years, but it kinda bugs me. I mean, carolling and stuff put me in a really good mood, but it only lasts for the night. Right now it really doesn't feel like Christmas, and I've taken long enought writing this that right now, technically, it is Christmas, but it still feels like it should be maybe November. Tomorrow we're doing Christmas dinner here and I'm dreading it. Goo Goo, Uncle John, Cathy, Rob, Amanda and Jermy are coming over and I'm not sure about Robbie, but I don't feel like being stuck here with my family, let alone my extended family. I'm planning on phoning Max at some point and trying to spend as much time on the internet or off by myself as possible. Anyways, I'm gonna shut up now and go to bed cuz it's getting late.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, December 22nd, 2003

Subject:I finally got my henna tatoo
Time:11:49 pm.
Mood: content.
Music:'97 Bonnie and Clyde by Eminem.
On Sunday morning we had to do the stupid Christmas Pagent at church because we told Megan we would. We had to sing stupid sickeningly pop-ish Christian songs. Blech. It went pretty well, but it bugs me that Megan plans this kind of stuff, because it totally depends on Max and I, so we're stuck doing it. Meh. She had some other thing she wanted us to do, so we made a point of letting her know that we're really busy. After church I met Mom at Blackbond and we went shopping for presents for Dad.

Sunday night was the Concordiae Christmas party. It was so much fun. Tyler gave me a notebook, a shaky egg and a pen. Lindsay gave Tyler boxers with "Concordiae" silkscreened across the ass. Max got a maraca and incense from Hil. Kirstin got a bunch of collages and a note-holder to put them in from Kristen. There were a lot of journals going around. I got one from Tyler, Lindsay got one from Step, Step got one from Spot and Spot stole Hilary's like a week ago and decorated it for her.

We played an awsome game. You get partners and take one of your shoes and one of your partner's shoes and sit back to back, then other people ask you who would be more likely to do something and you answer by holding up the person's shoe. You get a point for every same answer and Max and I KICK ASS!! 17/20 with the second highest score being 15/20. It was pretty neat as a getting to know people better thing. It's really funny seeing which questions people answer really quickly. Max and I both got asked "most likely to be bi" when we were with other people. 'Twas funny. Apparently when I held up my shoe right away (I was with Tyler) Lindsay and Kristen both got really disgusted looks. lol. Stupid people. That's why I don't like them. When Max and Tyler were together they got asked "most likely to fall in love with someone in Concordiae" and Max answered himself, then he realized that Tyler's the only other guy in Concordiae and he knows. That was funny. I didn't get a good look at the look on his face, but it was hillarious.

We didn't end up going caroling, but we had harmony wars where we split up into two groups and chose a song for the other song to improvise harmonies to. That was really cool and most of it sounded really good, but the other team had Hil so of course they were better. I want Hilary's voice...or maybe a girlfriend that looks like her and sings like her and is like her. lol. Well, like her, minus the having a boyfriend and trying to duplicate Spot. Danica has karaoke, so we did that too, then we did henna. I free-handed on Hilary's shoulder and it turned out pretty well. I didn't particularily like it at first, but I do now...of course, I almost never like my drawings at first. Meh.

Today I went over to Max's and he did the design I've been wanting on my back. YaY. It's a tribal design that goes down my shoulder blades and has a double venus sign in the middle. It looks really good, but I can't really tell how dark it is because there's still highlighter on it, but I know it's not very dark. I hope it gets a lot darker though because I really like it. I wish I'd made the hennah before I went over instead of after I got there because it probably would have been more potent by the time he put it on, but what can ya' do? When Max was drawing on the design Grandma phoned and said she was coming over to use the internet so we needed to stop. Blah. She didn't stay too long though which was good because he still managed to finish it over an hour before he had to leave for work, so I could let it sit for a long time. I was so paranoid though, I kept thinking I'd heard a car in the driveway and I was expecting Jordan and Bonnie to walk in any minute, which would have been really funny, but also really not good. Anyways, we pretty much just sat around listened to music and talked for like four hours, which was really nice. We don't get to do that nearly enough any more.

I had to walk home from Max's because my parents and Carlene went shopping, which was ok. Excercise, and burning of calories is of the good. They didn't get home until around 6:00 so I was trying to find a way to get to Spot's for carolling because I didn't think they'd be able to drive me. I phoned Tyler and he wasn't going and Kirstin had already left so I phoned Max's house and Bonnie and Jordan were there so I got Max's work number and called to ask for a ride, but then, of course, Mom and Dad were home early enough that they could have driven me. Meh.

We did really well with carolling tonight. Spot's neighborhood is awsome for that. We made over $260 in around two hours. The lady who owns the ugly house had her daughter over and her and her fiance had just announced their engagement today, so we sang them "One Hand One Heart," then they took a picture of us with them. Later we went to a house and started singing "The First Noel" and the guy is like "shhh, shh" and asks us if we know "Ave Maria" and we're just like "which one?" Anyways, Spot kinda sang part of the one that they were thinking of, then we sang them the Corn Ave Maria and they asked us to go sing in their back yard for them and we did the Chantaclere (sp?) Ave Maria and a couple other songs for them and they asked us if we wanted cocoa to try and get us to stay and sing for them and we told them they could buy our CD at Vida. We went and did the rest of the cul-de-sac and they stood outside and listened to us and as we passed their house on the way out the guy was like "did that man just shut the door on you? People like that are the kind of people that would run over an animal on the street because they didn't see it" and then they asked for contact information.

On the way back to Spot's after we finished carolling I told Kirstin that I'd come out to Hilary and she started asking me what she said and who else I'd told and stuff. It was pretty cool that she cares enough to ask stuff like that.

After carolling we went back to Spot's and did henna. I made a design for Kirstin's lower back, but I didn't end up doing it on her because Spot was doing her hair, so I free-handed on my arm instead and so far it's showing up a lot darker than my back did, which is good, but I'd rather it was my back that was darker becasue I can go over my arm, but I can't really do henna on my own back. Max did a dragon on Step and on Hilary he did a ring of ivy aroun her belly-button and a double-helix type design down the center of her chest and it looks really cool. Then on the way home Max and I dropped of signed CD's at the ugly house and the other people's house.

I hope we go carolling again tomorrow. I had fun tonight. It was really nice just sitting around doing nothing. Sunday was fun, but tonight was so relaxed, it was really cool. I don't know if it had anything to do with the fact that Lindsay and Kristen weren't there, but it sure didn't hurt in my opinion. It was weird because the atmosphere was so different. I liked it a lot better because even though it's nice to get together and have fun sometimes I would much rather just hang out doing nothing and be really comfortable with people and be able to talk and stuff, plus we kind of got onto the subject of sexuality without it just being about sex, and I don't think that that ever would have happened with Lindsay and Kristen around.

So, yeah. Today was a good day. I got my Max time and I got my tatoo and had a blast carolling. I wish we could carol all year long. Anyways, I'm going to go take off my henna and go to bed.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:I told Hilary, go me with the not chickening out!
Time:5:47 pm.
Mood: content.
Music:Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield.
So, Friday I slept in. YaY. I got a ride with Danica, which was fun because it was her, Kirstin and I. Danica was freaking out because she thought we were going to be late, it was quite amusing, plus she was bitching about a bunch of people which is totally not the way you would expect her to act -she's supposed to be sweet innocent Danica- it was funny.

The art gallery concert went really well. No one fainted, which I think is a first, even though someone closed the window. *shakes fist* David Macintire(sp?) was there and he said we did a really good job with his Ave Maria, which was cool, cuz it's not an easy song and honestly, it could be a lot better and he's already working on our comission. YaY. As long as it's not about butterflys, grasshoppers and mowing I'm good.

After the concert we had lunch at the gallery and went to look at the gift store, Hilary and I spent the whole time looking at achetecture and design books, which was cool. I didn't know she was into that stuff. Then we went to Chapters and I'd decided to come out to her when we were alone and for once I actually did when I'd decided to instead of chickening out. Anyways, she said she'd kinda figured it out because of what I'd said at Daria's, which was the point, so that's good. I love Hilary, she's awsome.

After we left Chapters we watched a guy doing spray-paint pictures. I absolutely love watching people do those. There was also a guy there who was dressed up like an elf or something and wearing flippers and standing on his head playing Christmas carols on a kazoo. I kinda felt sorry for him.

Tyler's party was fun. We watched the Excorcist which was pretty good. Not all that scary, but kinda sick in some parts, and TUBULAR BELLS! We also went caroling and made $73 for Mom's bursary for her class.

On Saturday we sang at Willowbrook. We only did one set because Max and I were the only ones who wanted to do a second. It kinda pissed me off because it's pretty good exposure and for the amount of time that it takes to drive there and drive back it's barely worth it to go and only sing for half an hour, but whatever. After we sang Athena, my mom's TA and her daughter gave me flowers *tear* It was so cute. Apparently her daughter heard our first CD and absolutely loved us, so they came to the mall to hear us...we have's like AJ, except little and cute and a girl.

Danica, Tyler, Max and I went and had lunch and hung out around the mall until we had to go sing at Kristen's grandma's retirement home. That place was like a freakin' sauna, it was ridiculous. We did pretty well though, and we got paid $150 for singing like half an hour.

Saturday night was $5 present, which was pretty boring. I ended up on the computer or playing the piano pretty much the whole time. Dad and I were seated in just about the worst spot for dinner. Our end of the table was having discussions about euthinasia and how the medical system is going to hell while we just sat there. On the up side, I got a stuffed geko in my Christmas cracker and I got Kaluha-filled chocolates from the $5 present. And OMG I cannot STAND Morely, or Marley or whatever the heck his name is. What an idiot. He's like an annoying little kid that thinks they're being funny by making a stupid comment about EVERYTHING. ARG. Okay, I'm done now.

Anyways, I've got to go now, so I'll finish writing some other time.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, December 18th, 2003

Subject:Another week...
Time:10:27 pm.
Mood: blank.
Music:"Life is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane.
The Concordiae writeup came out on Saturday. It turned out really well, and it's got a good picture too, but apparently I'm not graduating this year...we mentioned that I was graduating, but I guess Alex Browne missed that. Meh. The Choir Christmas concert was long, as usual. Mr. Horning stopped us in the middle of Christmas Spiritual Medly, which ticked me off, cuz we probably would have been able to get it back on track if he'd just left it, plus I felt bad for Miranda because it was in the middle of her solo. My mom was trying to get rid of our tickets all day and couldn't find anyone to give them to. After the concert I got a ride home with Max, which meant that I got to go to Mr. Horning's house afterwards. It was fun. We sat around in Daria and Katie's room and Daria did Max's hair in corn-rows and I used Tyler and Hilary as pillows. Spot and Hilary were asking me when I liked Max. It was funny, the conversation went something like this:
Spot: so, when did you like Max
Me: never
Spot: but you're attracted to him right?
Me: no
Spot: well you will be some time
Me: it won't happen
Hilary: why not
Me: I have my reasons
Hilary: like what?
....and then I just gave her a weird look.....I almost just told them I don't swing that way, and I guess I probably should have, cuz I don't think either of them would care, but there were other people around, like within two feet around, and honestly, I think I'd feel more comfortable telling Hilary than Spot, plus there's the whole me being a chicken-shit thing, which doesn't help, but if one of them decides to ask me about it again for some reason I think I'll just tell them. (YuP, that's me, indecisive, inaction girl)

On Sunday I got up early-ish and went to the flea market. I found a really neat Indian Buddah and a figurine (I can't remember what it is right now) from the guy I buy wishing dragons from for max and "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" buddahs for Mom...I was going to get them for Max, but she wanted them, so I got them for her instead. I also got a wishing dragon for my $5 present. In the afternoon Concordiae sang at Vida. It went pretty well. We sang two sets and sold five CDs and Vida gave us each a $15 gift certificate. YaY! It's an awsome store, it's kind of like Pier 1, but it's a lot cheaper. Sunday night was the last session of Latin dance. *tear* That course was fun, and I want to take swing in January. Tyler, Max, Danica and I are going to have to get together and practice sometime so we don't forget all the dances.

Monday we sang at Spot's mom's open house. That was kinda fun, plus her mom got us shirts as payment for singing for her. Mine's "moss." They're probably all going to shrink and be tighter. Tyler's going to end up with a muscle shirt and he says he wants to have a six-pack for wearing it and Max...well, he likes Tyler's shirt. lol. Anyways, I got to bed kind of late because we didn't end up leaving Spot's until 10. ARG.

I had a bit of a headache when I got home from Spot's and at 4:30am I woke up with a really bad headache, so after I decided that I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep I came downstairs and took some medicine. It turns out that the pill I took was like no-name brand Asprin, which I've never taken before, and I think I'm allergic to it or something because I started feeling really sick within like 5 minutes and the stupid think made me throw up. Blech. Tuesday after school I actually got to do nothing. It was great. I got home late because I missed the school bus putting in my order for grad photos and I got Dad to come pick me up from school and he couldn't get there until 3:40. We passed Mom on the way home, apparently she got home and was all worried because I wasn't home and even phoned Sydney to see if she knew where I was and then was going to go to school to pick me up. We got home and the power was out, so I actually played guitar, I haven't played in months. Then I did English homework and went on the computer. I really miss having time to just do nothing. Mom, Dad and Carlene went out and bought a Christmas tree and I stayed home...I finally got to listen to my Mike Oldfield records without Carlene bitching at me about them not being music...stupid kid...

Wednesday there was only chamber choir, so rehearsal was only three hours long instead of four. YaY. I wound up with a solo for the Art Gallery and Library concert, the "over the ground lies a blanket of white..." part of "Winter Wonderland" I love that part.

Today we got back our math test, and I got 87% GO ME! I totally didn't expect to get an A, I was hoping for one and I thought I knew the unit relatively well, but after most of my marks this year I figured it wouldn't happen. I also had an Poetry test in English and a Chem test today--joy--but we watched a movie in French, so we didn't do anything first block of the double and after lunch we did a composition and had locker checks for like half the block, so it was a pretty easy day. After school there was choreography for "Anything Goes" after school. It went better than I thought it would. Carol didn't get pissed off at me for not being able to play up to speed, which made me happy, plus they spent a lot of time going over the choreography without music, so I got to veg a lot of the time. "Anything Goes" wasn't too bad, but I've REALLY got to practice "Friendship" and "You're the Top" so I can "stop the sucking." I told Suzanne to call me if they want to rehearse over the break, so that's one more thing I've got to do, but whatever.

Tomorrow I get to miss school. YaY. ...except for me missing my last day of Autumn time *tear* ...jeez I'm pathetic. lol. But hey, no work. Plus I've got my solo and then Tyler's b-day party. YaY. Tyler's awsome. Max and I were trying to think of something for a birthday card for him at school on Wednesday and we'd just started going to look for something on the ground to use when I remembered that I had a deck of plastic cards from Costa Rica in my backpack that was missing a card, so we wrote on all the cards and Bean wrote on some because I went to PAPA after lunch because I had the block off after doing my math test. The only problem is that I'm missing Carlene's $5 present, which I'd kinda like to go to. It's just going to be her Chris, Sydney and a couple of her other friends, plus Chelsea said she was going to come drop off cookies for my Chrismas present, which I told her not to bother doing, but she said she was going to anyways, it's like tradition, I give her a CD and she bakes cookies. MEH, I'd like to be there on Friday, but I'd rather be at Tyler's. Plus, we told him to rent the Exorcist, which I really want to see, and if Lindsay's there when we watch it that should be hillarious.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, December 12th, 2003

Subject:So much to write...
Time:11:26 am.
Mood: content.
Music:Tubular Bells.
I've been so busy this past week I've barely had time to get online at this is gonna be really long.

So Friday I got home from school, had a nap, then had dinner and Sarah, Matty and I went to one acts. They were absolutely hillarious. We were going to go to Starbucks afterwards, but they didn't finish until 10:30, so that plan didn't really work out too well. Christie said I should have gone to the cast would have been fun, but wutever, I would have been totally worn out after that.

Saturday morning Concordiae sang at Hazlemere for the Rotary Club brunch. They gave us chocolate. *sarcastic* YaY *sarcastic* Then my mom took Alex, Tyler and I back to Tyler's to change, cuz he'd bought a shirt that was WAY too big for him and then we went to the mall to sing with choir. It was pretty bad. My mom said it ruined her day to see Mr. Horning conducting us after watching the ten of us preform alone, which is kinda cool, uless maybe you're Mr. Horning. After that we went to the new(ish) store that I can never remember the name of to look around and mom wound up buying me a burgandy shirt with frogs up the front and a matching pair of wrap around pants. YaY! More weird clothes! The only problem is, I can't wear them until it gets warmer out or I'll probably freeze my ass off.

After the concert I went home and slept, then got up, had dinner and went to the Dickens' Concert. The mayor of White Rock read, and I felt sorry for her. I don't think she realized that when you read a story like that you need to practice it before hand. The guy from the Polkadot Door read and OMG he was AWSOME. Everyone was laughing like the whole time he was reading and he did this creepy thing whenever he mentioned "the Plump Sister" that was awsome, but it made you go "he worked on a KIDS' show?!?!" The one and only Mr. Ron Halder was awsome as usual, and they changed the part that Alex Browne read, which was good, but kinda weird, cuz you kept expecting to hear what he normally did in his normal section and then you got the Polkadot Door guy's creepiness instead.

Got home from the Dickens at like 11 or so, didn't get to sleep until at least midnight, and then got up at 5:45. You're NOT supposed to have to get up earlier on the weekend than you do on school days. It's just not right.

Anyways, Max and Debby picked me up around 6:45 and we went to Mrs. Hall's to get a ride. Got to the recording studio around 8 and Mrs. Hall went and got us all breakfast, she's WAY too generous sometimes. We rehearsed for a while and ate and stuff, and I don't think we actually started recording until 9. We went until 12:45, I think, and managed to get 12 songs done. We really should have done more than one take on "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," but Hilary had a soccer game, so we didn't have time. Then Step, Lindsay, Kirstin, Danica, Spot and I stayed to listen to some of the tracks, and Mrs. Hall went and bought us all lunch. Then we went and sang "White Christmas" at speakers' corner and then we did it another time so Spot and Kirstin could say "We're Concordiae Chorus from White Rock" "And we just want to wish you a merry Christmas" and then we all went off-screen and came back on and yelled "Bah-humbug" but there was still time left, so Spot and Kirstin kept taking turns bobbing on-screen from the sides and Danica stood in the middle bobbing up and down while Lindsay, Step and I all hid off-screen.

I got home around 3:30 or so, and took a nap, suprise, suprise. Got up, had dinner and went to sing at an open house. The house we sang at was Spot's old house, and when we got there the kid that opened the door was someone Tyler had taught curling to the week before. Then I heard someone say my name, and I figured there was another Kayla there, cuz there wouldn't be anyone I knew. There was another Kayla, and it turns out that Chelsea's mom was there and she came and asked if Tyler was Alex and was all disappointed that he didn't come. Plus, Hilary saw one of her friends from South Ridge there. The lady said that she wants us to come back some time in the summer because she has garden parties, plus we finally got PAID! $10 each for singing a half hour set. Not too bad. We gave the money to Step so we can pay Alexander for the CD, but it's still money. Plus we stayed and talked to the lady who was having the open house and ate her food and stuff, and she gave us Coke in glass bottles, so I now have a Coke bottle. These people are insanely rich. She was talking about how she hired some famous guy to sing at her husband's birthday because he'd rented out a ballroom at the Pacific Inn and hired a band for her birthday. Thank-you Alex Browne for getting us that gig.

After the open house Tyler's mom took Danica, Tyler and I to Starbucks and then to dance. I can't believe it's almost over. We've only got this week and next week left. I think we're gonna take swing in January. After dance I came home and went to bed pretty much right away.

At lunch on Monday I was in the weirdest mood. I kept trying to steal Bean's knee and I was pretty much on top of her when Chris and Sydney walked by and apparently started cheering for me, which I didn't notice at the time. Then Chelsea came over and asked if I was drunk, and I was like "Who me?" and she gave me a really strange look and walked away.

In D block we were allowed to buy our way out of class to watch the basketball game against Semi, so Max, Christie and I went up-town to go shopping. Max and I bought Tyler a Mosaic mirror that we saw on Saturday for his birthday. Stupid kid having his birthday right before Christmas. Christie bought Brian's mom a 3 tiered bamboo and she got Brian red women's underwear with feathers around the top as a gag gift, which was funny, cuz when she went to pay for them Max decided to tell the cashier that they were for Brian to wear, not for Christie to wear FOR Brian, because when the cahsier said something about hoping he enjoyed them he figured she didn't understand. lol. Then I had to go back to school to catch the bus. I managed to walk back in less than 15 minutes, and I got there with a few minutes to spare. Go me! But on the downside, I still don't have any of my Christmas shopping done, so I'm gonna have to find time to shop this weekend or just bake or something.

Alex Browne came to rehearsal on Monday and took pictures and talked to us all for a while. The article should be in the paper this Saturday. I felt like I was spending the whole fucking night trying to get everyone on track. We'd talked about some of the things we wanted to say at the interview at Max's birthday party and people kept going off on tangents and no one except me said any of the things we'd talked about until I got everyone back on topic and they'd go off and talk about everything else again. ARG. We'd said that we wanted to mention how long we had to record our CD, cuz there's mistakes in it and stuff cuz we only had an hour, but going and pointing out every single thing that's wrong with it is not only stupid, it's wasting our time and his time.

After Alex Browne left we voted on the third person who was going to get interviewed on Tuesday. It was between me and Danica, and she won, go figure. When Mrs. Hall came to get Step, she brought a copy of the CD cover she made for us, since Spot's computer is messed up, so she can't do the Brady Bunch square thing that she'd planned. The one Mrs. Hall made uses the same pictures, but we're all candles or ornaments on a Christmas tree.

On Tuesday I was in a really pissy mood all day, cuz I was getting sick and I was really tired and I was pissed off about the interview on Monday and I needed to bitch about it, so I started complaining to Max about it at lunch and he just kept on saying that he thought we said "good things" and that it wasn't a big deal. It pissed me off, cuz I KNEW it wasn't a big deal, but it still pissed me off and I needed to vent. He always phones me when he needs to vent about something and it's almost never something that actually matters, but I never tell him that it's not a big deal, so that really pissed me off.

In English we had to write poems in a group and we put them on snowflakes, and sadly enough, that was the highlight of my school day.

Tuesday night I went to Step's to listen to our CD and make some notes on what we wanted to be changed so Alexander could edit it some more for us; he's going to take out some pauses and there's a couple songs where we're going to have him make it sound like we're in a cathedral. He added an extra track of us talking in between songs, which was cool. The Ave Maria turned out really well, and we decided to keep Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas because it wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. We decided to sell CDs for $10 each cuz they cost $2 to make and I think we're going to give some of the money from each CD to a charity, but we haven't decided which one, or how much yet. I, personally, think it would be easiest to give $3 cuz that gives us $5 profit, which is only $0.50 each, but the math is easy.

On Wednesday I had Dad drive us to school so I could have a longer nap in the morning. Then I got to school and lay down in the hall and was almost asleep by the time the bell rang, even with everyone talking in the hall. I was so tired I almost skiped Chem and just stayed there and slept, but then I figured that I might as well go sleep in class cuz we're just reviewing until finals and Buller moved me to the corner so people wouldn't see me sleeping.

When I came home from school I slept, had dinner and went to choir. I despise dress rehearsals, plus I was so tired that I was actually swaying half the time that we were standing up. In the break I was using Tyler for a pillow and he was so tired he cracked up for no reason and was laughing for like 10 minutes straight and I said he was like my own personal vibrator, which probably didn't help. He was laughing so hard he was crying and he looked like he was in pain. Then we were waiting to go back in and he kept poking me and saying "belly-button" and cracking up and AJ started laughing so hard he had to leave and he was litterally on the floor laughing. It was kinda funny, cuz I was haning out with Tyler and AJ and Max was hanging out with Kristen and Lindsay...stereotypical much?

I didn't get home until 10:30 from choir, and I got Dad to drive us to school again yesterday because I was so tired. When I got to school I went and dropped my stuff off in my locker and when I went back to where we all sit in the morning Autumn came over and hugged me and we wound up just stanging there for like 15 minutes until the bell rang. She braided my hair when we were standing there and I just kinda leaned on her.

At lunch Max and I listened to Tubular Bells using my diskman and Josh's speakers. They were really quiet so we each took one and we were laying on the floor and he was using me as a pillow and people kept looking at us weird. It was amusing. Plus I got to lay down, which was good, cuz I'd actually wanted to try to find a place to sleep at lunch. Then I borrowed Tubular bells and I burned a copy last night. YaY! and I drew all over it while I was waiting for the Carlene to get out of the bathroom, and wound up spending like an hour on that. Meh. My mom said she had a Tubular Bells record, but I looked through our records and couldn't find it. Blah.

I was supposed to play for dance rehearsal for the musical yesterday, but I went and found Mr. Harmond and told him I was going home cuz I was sick, which is good, cuz I went home and slept and I didn't wake up til almost 6 and I wouldn't have been finished rehearsal until 6:30. Plus I got to avoid the getting yelled at for not playing fast enough.

Then I decided to stay home today so I could actually get enough sleep for once and so that I don't get sicker because I've got a cold and the choir Christmas concert is tomorrow night, and Concordiae is singing outside Vida on Sunday. Plus I've got my Can. Lit. paper that's due on Monday that I still need to edit, and we're singing at Spot's mom's open house on Monday. I'm really glad I stayed home. I didn't have to go to bed ridiculously early and I still got 12 hours of sleep. Plus I really needed a break. The last week I've pretty much gotten up, gotten ready for school, had a nap, gone to school, gotten home from school, had a nap, had dinner, had to go somewhere and gotten home and had to go to bed. Fun. NOT.

Our write up should be in the paper tomorrow. YaY! Plus we advertised that we're singing at Vida, so hopefully we'll be able to sell some CDs and give away some cards. When I asked Alex Browne what we should be charging when he came here on Monday he said he wasn't sure, and Lindsay said that on Tuesday he told them that we could charge about $200 an hour, but to ask people about their budget before we told them a set price. $20 each per hour. SO GOOD! Now we just need someone to hire us. lol.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, December 4th, 2003

Time:9:25 pm.
No one would really know your name. You would be
called by what you do. For example, if you burn
your victims to death all the time, you would
be known as The Arsonist, or if you knife them,
you would be known as The Slasher. You would be
the mysterious killer who strikes at sporadic
times, and would be very difficult to catch.
You might dress up and mask yourself when you
perform your horrible killings. Your identity
would really be a mystery. Obviously you would
be wanted all over the place, and authorities
would desperately try to capture you. Even if
you were caught, you would not say much. The
public would greatly fear you because you could
just strike unexpectedly.

What Would Your Serial Killer Name Be? What Would the Public Know You As?
brought to you by Quizilla
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:8:25 pm.
Mood: okay.
Music:"Without Me" by Eminem.
Yesterday I wore my new white suit jacket with all black and my gahu band. Rainbow tie. Hoo Ha! Tony made some comment about how I must hate him to submit him to the tie. lol. Everyone else seemed to think it was cool, and Max said that I actually seemed happy. Weird, but it's actually true. I was in an unusually good mood yesterday, and I'm not really sure why. Maybe it was the clothes.

We managed to pretty much waste a block of Enlish having people read out poems and going over what made them good/interesting. Double block of Math. Blah. But we got out early before lunch, so Christie and I went down to the commons area and I bought one act tickets for Sarah, Matty and I.

Choir seemed really, really long yesterday. Probably because I was already tired. We sang before Mrs. Hall's play and at intermission too, but typical Mr. Horning had us still rehearsing when we should have been singing after wasting ages going over all the traditional carols that everyone already knows.

During the break we voted on who's doing the interview with Alex Browne. Max and Lindsay won and Kirstin, Danica and I tied for the third person, so we all voted again and Kirstin won. Max forgot that he's got read throughs for the musical on Tuesday though, so I don't know if he can go. He said that if he can't he wants me to go instead, and as much as I'd like to, I know it would really piss everyone (well, a couple people anyways) off, and Tyler said that he wants me to go if Max doesn't, something about having the guys represented. lol. I don't know though, but I think Max still has to ask Harmond if he can miss part of the rehearsal.

I didn't get home until after 10:30 because Tyler and Max wanted to talk to Mr. Horning about Chris. Blah.

Today seemed so long. It felt like it should have been Friday. Actually, yesterday did too, even though we had Monday off. Scholarship meeting at lunch. I hate those things so much. It's got to be the most boring way to spend lunch, but mom'll bitch at me if I don't at least go. After the meeting Max and I went to look for Chayse cuz he still has Max's pants, so we talked to Karen for a while. Apparently he was told to stay home until his mom talks to Mrs. Lynch and we asked what he did, and she said nothing. Odd.

We sang before Mrs. Hall's play again today. It was just Step, Danica and I today, but according to my mom it sounded really good. Of course, she's kinda useless in trying to get constructive feedback cuz she always just says it sounds great, but whatever.

I can't wait until one acts tomorrow! There suppossed to be really funny, plus me, Sarah and Matty are gonna go to Starbucks or something and just hang out after. Max isn't coming cuz he's gonna go to the cast party instead, but wutever, that's probably what I'd do too. Plus it's gonna be at Kylan's, so it should be interesting. Apparently Carlene's invited Sydney, Kate and Chris over here after one acts, so that should be cool too, assuming I'm home and/or up late enough to hang out with them for a while.
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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003

Time:9:26 pm.
Mood: confused.
So, Monday we sang at Earl's. It was interesting. Kristen gets here, asks for a hair dryer. Spot gets here and asks for gel and the two of them, Hilary and Kirstin are all upstairs doing their hair while Lindsay, Max and I are trying to figure out what music we're going to sing. We wasted about half an hour with that and didn't have time to go over all our music before we had to leave.

Tyler wasn't going to come because he had a splitting headache, which he said was from the accident, but Max convinced him to come anyways. Then we wound up doing songs that we'd never looked at before at the concert, which is okay, except for the fact that I was really stressed out and having to sight read for the concert didn't help matters. I wound up saying that I wouldn't play anything for a concert unless I got three days notice so I could practice, which I kinda regret because I usually don't need the practice, plus I kinda spazed and I don't think Lindsay was too happy with me. She said I should have told them if I couldn't do it, but the thing is that I CAN do it, I just don't want to, and I shouldn't have to do it.

Alex Browne was supposed to show up to interview us for the paper and take pictures, but he didn't. I was kinda ticked off at first, but Lindsay found out today that he strained his back on the weekend and that's why he didn't come. He's still going to take pictures and stuff, I'm not sure when, but apparently it's still happening, the problem is the interview. Lindsay said that he'll come talk to all of us when he takes pictures, but he only wants to talk to three people for the interview. Lindsay contacted Max and I about the interview and said not to tell anyone else. The problems with that are:
1) everyone would find out eventually, it's going to be in the paper so we can't exactly keep it a secret and there's already friction in the group without doing this behind people's backs
2) I don't really want to do this without everyone else anyways. If the three of us do this alone it makes us look like we're the leaders of the group and we've said countless times that we don't have a leader.
3) Spot will definitely want in. I think most of the other people wouldn't mind us doing it if we talked about it, but Spot would be really pissed off.

Today was fun. I actually wasn't tired, which suprised me since I didn't get to sleep until way after 11 last night.

I told Mrs. Peterson about the Dickens conert and our Christmas concert, and she said she'll try to make it to one of them, which is cool.

I got my Chem test back today. Not good. I got 66.7% It could have been worse, but that's really going to drop my mark down. Here's hoping I can bring up my mark with the practice finals.

Double block of English we got our Can. Lit. outlines back. I got 44/50 on mine. I was quite proud of that. Then Mrs. Peterson spent the whole block talking about our essays. Christie spent the block reading her book, which apparently had a big section about a guy having sex with his wife who he didn't realize was dead at the time...special...

At lunch Max, Christie and I went uptown cuz Max wanted to find an ATM macine so he could buy his One Act shirt. Then we went to Starbucks. It was fun. Christie has got to be one of the coolest people I know, and I just feel really comfortable with her. Christie and I wound up being late for English, which I don't think Mrs. Peterson was too happy about. She didn't say anything to me though. Probably cuz I'm always on time and out of me, Christie and Autumn, I'm the only one who actually goes to class all the time. When we got back we had to find poems that "appealed" to us in the poetry book and I found Ulyssis (sp?) and had to read it really slowly because I couldn't make myself read the parts of the song out of rhythm. Then I wound up with Untravelled Worlds stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Mr. Hunter was back today! YaY! No more evil Mr. Mikleson. I swear, that man is a five year old stuck in a gross old man's body with major math smarts, but no teaching skills.

Then after school me, Chris, Sydney and Katie Ranger all missed the bus cuz we were sitting in the commons area talking, and the bus came like a minute or two earlier than usual. Chris phoned her mom and she drove us all home.

Tonight Kirstin, Max, Step, Tyler and I all went to Ocean Cliff to sing before Mrs. Hall's play. It went really well. I really like that size of group; I'd actually prefer it to the size of group we have now. Also, I think it would save a lot of bickering, but we've already got the group, and I don't want to mess with that unless it gets really unbearable.

After singing Mom took me to staples to get a new mechanical pencil and we ended up going to Winners too. I LOVE that store. I tried on a pair of jeans and suede pants, but they were too big. I'm getting skinny...ish. But it kinda sucks, cuz it would have been cool to have suede pants, but the only pair in my size were green, and I don't think I would have worn them. Then I wound up trying on lots of coats and I got two suit jackets (sports coats? I don't know what you call them.) I got a white one that I love. It reminded me of a zoot suit, and I'm gonna wear it tomorrow. All black and a white jacket. Boo Ya! I also got a jacket that I like, but I probably won't wear as much. There was also a brown suede jacket that I really liked and it makes me look skinny, but I didn't get it, cuz I don't ever wear brown, and I wouldn't be able to wear it til spring anyways, cuz it wouldn't be warm enough and I don't think it's washable. I'm starting to be a clothes's so weird.
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Monday, December 1st, 2003

Subject:I can't believe Lindsay hit a PARKED car
Time:12:16 am.
Mood: blank.
Music:"Silence" by Delirium.
Max's party was on Saturday, and so was the rally. I didn't go, but my dad said there were about 150 people there, so that's good. Anyways, I got to Max's late because I slept in a bit and then I still had to wrap his present and find the card and everything. I got there around 12:30 or so, and then we just hung out all day. We watched the Chipmunks Big Adventure, gotta love the 80's music, and The Last Unicorn, which I didn't see most of because I was looking at the book I bought Max...and I just remembered that I forgot to sign it. Oh well, I'll do it some other time.

Hilary and Danica left early to go to a jazz band concert and the rest of us sat around and played Wink Murderer and Devils Vs. Angels. Then we got bored and went to Peninsula Village to get Starbucks and talked about the interview on Monday, what to say and what not to say. After that we decided to go sing in the underground parking-lot, which I've actually wanted to do for a while. It was awsome. I love the acoustics in there, and it's even better when people stop to watch and waited for us to finish our song before they got in their car to leave.

After we got back to Max's we sat around his room and listened to music and talked, and got a game of grab tag going, which was really funny. I can't believe we actually got Step and Lindsay in it, but I guess we didn't really leave them much choice, and I don't think Lindsay was too comfortable with it.

Then came the interesting part.... I kinda wanted to just stay over, cuz I was having a really good time, and Max and I didn't get a chance to hang out alone cuz everyone else stayed so late. Anyways, Lindsay was going to drive Tyler and I home. It was pretty cold out, so when we got to the car all the windows were fogged up and icy and Lindsay didn't bother to defrost them. So we're backing out and she says that she can't see a thing, how reassuring. I was wiping off the mirror on my side so Lindsay could see in it and she told me to close the window cuz it was cold. I'm not sure if she was kiding; Tyler thinks she was, but it didn't really sound like it. I was just going to tell her to slow down, because when she went around the corner I couldn't even see where the center line was...and then we stopped. Thank god for that car. NOT. I can't believe she freakin' hit a parked car. The whole front passanger side of the car was pretty much crushed. I could see pices of the headlight flying when we hit the car. The weird thing though, is that in the cab you'd never know anything had happened. Lindsay was freaking out. Tyler had to tell her to turn off the car, and then I told her she should put on her hazzard lights and she thought that you had to turn on the car to turn them on. Then I had to do it for her, cuz she didn't know how. I'm not sure if she actually didn't know, or if it was because she was panicing, but she doesn't even remember where the defrost is, so I wouldn't put it past her.

I was shoked that she managed to hold it together as much as she did, but Tyler said that she broke down as soon as I started walking back to Max's. Tyler was pretty shaken up too. Literally. By the time I had walked to Max's, waited for Debby to get ready, and walked back, he was still shaking. After a while Lindsays parents got there, and she was freaking out cuz she thought they were gonna kill her. Her and Max went and sat in her parents' car and Tyler and I went on a walk to the Esso and back. It really helped him a lot, he stopped shaking by the time we got back. Lindsay's parents got the car towed, cuz it's pretty much totalled. Debby said that the frame is bent and the motor got moved back. Plus, getting the body fixed would not have been cheap. The guy that owned the other car got it towed too. God knows why. The bumber was half off, but other than that it was fine. That thing was built like a tank.

The weird thing about all this, was that it didn't even phase me. Lindsay was a wreak. Tyler was shaking for ages, and today he said that he's been replaying the accident in his head since it happened. I wasn't even really freaked out. It would have been fun if it didn't involve the car being smashed up and us coming close to getting hurt. I find it so strange that it didn't really affect me at all. It was my corner of the car that got smashed up, and if Lindsay had time to swerve more it might have hit my door instead of the front corner. Or if she hadn't had time to break or swerve we would have hit it head on and it could have been a lot worse. I still can't believe that it happened. I'm not sure if that's why it doesn't bother me at all, (or maybe I'm a droid, like Chelsea said) I think it might be though, cuz I tend to not react to things because they don't seem real. It'll probably hit me at some really inconvenient time. Like in the middle of class. Kinda like all those times where I've been freakishly close to breaking down in math. Tyler and I were talking about how it seems kinda surreal, and Max said that too. It's one of those thing where you hear about it happening, but you don't ever think it's going to happen to you. Max also said that he feels like he should have been there, which I guess I understand, cuz I kinda get that if I'm worried about someone, I feel like it should be happening to me too, or instead. I'm glad he wasn't there though.

I went to the clinic to get checked for whiplash today, and so did Tyler. I'm fine, but the doctor said I probably strained my back, and I think I strained my neck too. She also said that it'll probably get worse for a couple days. YaY. Tyler strained his clavical and can't lift anything heavy with his right arm, but it's not displaced, which is good. But he's worse than I am. Lindsay hit her knee on the dash and apparently it's messed up now, but over-all it's not bad.

Tyler and I went over to Max's before dance to hang out for a while. We were going to see Matrix Revolutions today, but it's not playing anywhere in White Rock any more, so I guess we'll end up renting it some time instead. Then we were going to go to South Point and look around Winners, but they close at 5:00 on Sundays, that's ridiculous. So instead we just walked around Penninsula Village and talked.

Danica didn't go to dance tonight cuz of the cultural excursion. Lindsay was going to go instead, but her parents wouldn't let her, so Tyler went without a partner and the chick with the fried hair and all the funky wigs and her partner split up and the other girl danced with Tyler and she danced with Creepy Guy. It's kinda strange how last week Creepy Guy and Creepy Lady got in an accident and then this week me and Tyler got in one. Four people out of maybe 20 in two weeks, that's pretty bad.

I talked to Sarah on MSN tonight. We're gonna go see one acts, but I don't know whether we're gonna go on Thursday or Friday yet. I don't even know if they're still gonna be selling tickets at lunch this week, but I'm gonna assume that they will be. I think I'm gonna call Lucy too, cuz I barely see her any more. Max and I haven't even gotten a chance to talk to her yet, and we barely even saw her at her b-day party since she went off with Kyle.

Oh, and on the way back from the clinic today my mom said something about how she had been really upset about my math mark, which was *dun dun duuuunnnn*.....only 76%. OMG a B! But apparently now, she's just glad that I'm ok. She wanted to phone Mr. Hunter to ask if it was still possible for me to pull my mark up to an A, but I really hope she doesn't. Besides, I woked out my average, and right now I've still got 86.5 overall, which is high enought to get into most faculties at any school I'm planning on applying to for next year and I've still got Physics next semester, which will probably end up being higher than my math mark. She really pisses me off sometimes.
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Blurty for Pyro.

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