2:02PM
Cocktail
?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
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Yum.
Another week has come and gone. Am I a better person for having endured it? I don't really think so. I prove myself to the world each day and the world doesn't seem to care one way or another. When I mention in these journals of going to work and being on my hamster wheel....going around in circles for what seems like forever and not getting anywhere? It's like that when I'm not at work too. Every week, it's the same thing. There are so many times I would like to take the whole big non-entity that is "my world" and recycle it into something that I can feel good about instead of just accepting what is and expecting more of the same tomorrow....and not being surprised when that's exactly what I get. It's not ALL bad, I suppose. It just gets kinda boring more often than I would like it too. I know about the theory of "Garbage in - Garbage out" and that each is responsible for their own reality. In that sense my life is entirely my fault if I am unsatisfied with how it turns out. I tend to worry too much about the little things in life that ultimately don't matter. I can be obsessive about things. I get moody for no reason other than a desire for attention from the world around me. Does the World know that I exist? Does it care one way or another? Is there anything I can do to change that. That's a question I'll likely be pondering over for some time to come.
I like feeling useful and productive. I like to think that I am such most of the time. Yet, I never seem to get anything out of it. I am living a life of the 7 of Cups as far as expectations goes, and I think my "Fool" is reversed. I am too wrapped up in routine to do much of anything else (8 of Swords) and am not sure how to let go and see what's down other paths.
How's that for a Pity Party, huh?
As far as the wors scene goes, I encountered one "security officer" asleep in his company patrol vehicle - with the lights on and the engine running - and he was out of uniform. Seeing stuff like this used to give me a sense of purpose. It doesn't anymore. More paperwork. Oh, what a thrill....
Earlier, a low rider car caused a potential problem at another location. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, so I should be grateful for that (the officer at the site - even more so). Was it worth my time to drive 45+ minutes out of my way to check on this? No, but it was something that I had to do in case someone would get mad at me later if I didn't. I have become way too pre-programmed in the things that I do. I feel like the proverbial puppet on a string - everything I do, I do for others. What do I do for me?
Well, I need to get the trash out before I end up creating a new species. A certain Shel Silverstein poem comes to mind for some reason....I wonder why?
The rest of my weekend will likely be updated sometime Sunday afternoon or Monday morning.
Stay tuned.
OwlStorm
Cocktail
?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Yum.
Recently returned from a dangerous trop to Barnes & Noble. Mom was looking for a book and insisted that my brother & I go with. We went there in my brother's car, which was an adventure in itself. (No A/C and the windows don't work). We went to the location by Metrocenter and I ended up spending a little more than I was hoping to. Part of it was my B&N card renewal, which is $25.00 for a year, so I suppose it's justified.
I now sit here in the computer room and sipping a Bartles & Jaymes Blue Hawaiian while waiting for my stuff to get done spinning in the dryer. Mom got them because she heard I liked them. The real things are tons better. If I could find some of that blue stuff, I'd probably make a pitcher and drift away someplace. (I also re-found the recipe for Catnip. "One of these days....")
I don't feel quite as useless as I did during a previous journal notation. Thanks "Oz". Frustrared by the inequality I'm surrounded by, but not useless.
Auf Wiedersehen Bis Spater!
OwlStorm
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