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we all agreed that charity was much in need [23 Aug 2004|02:02pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | hungry for the holiday . the album leaf and bright eyes ] "The Night Grows Older" By Mary Captan i'm the epitome of romance so many lovers have spawned spread out with their blankets spread out on their lawns they stare at my comrades who shine brighter than me we hypnotize their presence and leave them feeling lusty when i'm at my peak i drive them insane they love to watch me grow perfection, what can i say? my brother grows jealous he grows hotter with fright then i might take him over because i provide them with night can you guess who i am? it's a mystery, i know i'm made of the finest cheese and i give off the faintest glow they call me moon i'm their favorite, i believe i happen to be the only one who knows all and sees not a very good ending..but then again..i suck at endings. fashionista

you're the reoccuring kind [23 Aug 2004|01:32pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | waste of paint . bright eyes ] "The AM" By Mary Captan i can't seem to sleep my brain has gone haywire thoughts, like olympic runners pace themselves as they speed through my brain what did i eat for lunch? i wonder if i'll have mail tomorrow. my eyes fly open it's 3:00 AM so much for waking up at 8 slow down i scream stop your accelerating speeds songs pass through my brain from backstreet boys to bright eyes why can't i sleep? why can't i dream? the door opens the door closes the clock ticks the church bells ring the sheeps have been counted the countdown has reached 0 stop fighting me! stop thinking of him! stop thinking of school! just STOP. shut down for just a few good hours it's 5:00 AM hmm..3 more hours the covers, i need the covers the sun is rising where am i going tomorrow? how did i do on my english test? what the hell is Shania Twain doing in my head? oh mister sandman? you late again? i sit i wonder i drive myself insane my breathing is deeper my heart is slower but my brain, still chaotic what do i want for christmas? i wonder what it'd be like kissing John Cusack.. AHH maybe i could watch TV can't find the remote dammit i wish i could fly i wish i was invisable i wish my brain would fall out then i could sleep damn it damn it damn it insomnia what a bitch hahhahaa. i didnt get to sleep last night till 3 am cause i couldnt sleep. here's my lovely omage to my insomnia. fashionista

you are like a sunset to me [23 Aug 2004|12:34pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | sunsets and car crashes . the spill canvas ] i feel like writing. here goes nothing. "Mr. Metaphor" By Mary Captan you're like a disease spreading and infecting your smile so deadly can't seem to find the vaccine you're like the summertime intense and beautiful your touch so warm can't help but anticipate June you're like a quiet stream peaceful and lovely your taste so refreshing can't let go of it's purity you're like a silent movie fascinating and romantic your eyes so exquistent can't stop reading your subtext i don't know how to end this poem. it's kind of cheesy. but it's going to stand alone, for now. fashionista

i can see right through her [22 Aug 2004|02:08pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | tinman . neva dinova ] hello. man, my weekend has been slow. on friday, mikuh came over at 730 in the morning to study for the exams we had :(. it was bad, i didnt get to bed till 3 because i was talking to her, robby, and tim, and i couldnt get myself to stop because i was being so entertained haha. blah, so we went and took the exams, i had to take 4, gosh they were hard. anyway, we hung out at the school afterward and watched the guys at football practice..then ended up waiting for her mom to pick us up for like an hour and half. anyway, after i got home, my mom took us out and we rented a couple movies. we started watching Magnolia at like 10, and i figured, i'd be in bed by like 12, tops, since i was was so pooped from waking up at 7..and i ended up staying till freaking 2. the movie was 3 hours long, and i couldnt stop watching it. it was a GREAT movie, damn it damn it damn it. anyway, saturday, i was supposed to go to brandon's first scrimmage or whatever, but it was raining really really hard so, we left, theeenn we just hung out and watched Taking Lives..which was decent. i'm so bored with my life. signing off! fashionista

i was dreaming of the past [18 Aug 2004|10:25pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | jealous guy . john lennon ] found this on emolyrics. pick a band and only answer with song titles. Band: Bright Eyes Male or female: Lila Describe yourself: Bowl Of Oranges How do some people feel about you: It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friend :( How do you feel about yourself: Nothing Gets Crossed Out Describe your ex: False Advertising Describe your current boyfriend or girlfriend or crush: Patient Hope In New Snow Describe what you want to be: Messenger Bird's Song Describe your current mood: A Perfect Sonnet Describe your friends: Tereza & Tomas Share a few words of wisdom: One Foot In Front Of The Other fashionista

i almost believe that the pictures are all i can feel [17 Aug 2004|04:37pm] [ mood | determined ] [ music | pictures of you . the cure ] i'm booored. i'm trying to finish a raisin in the sun..but i keep getting side tracked. i've been obsessively playing a comp. game called Gold Miner. it's horrible. i'm horrible. shame on me. my tummy hurts. i just ate a whole buttload of chicken. i suck. maybe i'll post a song. i'm looking for a good one. lot's of lyrical depth. doo doo doo. okay! i got it! "No Lies, Just Love" By Bright Eyes it was in the march of the winter i turned seventeen and i bought those pills i thought i would need and i wrote a letter to my family it said "it's not your fault, you've been good to me" it's just lately i've been feeling like i dont belong like the ground's not mine to walk upon and i've heard that music echoe through the house where my grandmother drank by herself and i sat watching a flower as it was withering i was embarrassed by it's honesty so i prefer to be remembered as a smiling face not this fucking wreck that's taken it's place so please forgive what i have done you can't stay mad at the setting sun we all get tired, i mean evenually there is nothing left to do but sleep spring came bearing sunlight those persuasive rays so i gave myself a few more days my salvation it came quite suddenly as Justin spoke, very plainly he said, "of course it's your decision, but just so you now if you decide to leave, soon i will follow." i wrote this for a baby who is yet to be born my brother's first child i hope that womb's not too warm because it's cold out here and it will be quite a shock to breathe this air to discover loss so i like to make some changes before you arrive so when your new eyes meet mine they won't see no lies just love just love i will be pure no, i know i will be pure like snow like cold like snow like cold so please forgive what i have done you can't stay mad at the setting sun we all get tired, i mean evenually there is nothing left to do but sleep i typed it quick..please excuse the mistakes :\ fashionista

[15 Aug 2004|08:51pm] [ mood | devious ] casual sex is it irrational? YES! fashionista

the truth is that i can hardly wait [15 Aug 2004|05:18pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | pull my hair . bright eyes ] "Brand New Colony" By The Postal Service i'll be the grapes fermented bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit like a perfect gentlemen i'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick where you will sit and contemplate your day i'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning in an open tab when your judgement's on the brink i'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep i'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you you won't have to strain to look into my eyes i'll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped straight to the throat with the collar up so you won't catch a cold i want to take you far from the cynics in this town and kiss you on the mouth we'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene start a brand new colony where everything will change we'll give ourselves new names identities erased the sun will heat the grounds under our bare feet in this brand new colony everything will change fashionista

[14 Aug 2004|09:29pm] [ mood | full ] hey hey hey. just got back from the mall. went and saw napolean dynamite with eddie. it was GREAT. i loved every second of it. i'm surprised that eddie and dean liked it too...but they were giggly the whole time ;). we hung out at the mall for like an hour or something, it was fun ;). eddie's a sweet guy. but i'd pick Napolean Dynamite over him any day ;). fashionista

now these years knock on my drawer [13 Aug 2004|10:29pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | sleep . azure ray ] okay okay..another! i know. i need to stop writing in this format. but enjoy anyway..? "Little Miss.." By Mary Captan she grins pleasantly the world stops to stare a girl embraced by the longest arm with just a flip of her hair she walks around, so confident her boyfriend by her side just a mere accessary in which she never tries to hide she blasts her bumble gum music in her cherry red bug her hair blowing wildly as she revels in good luck the teachers give her an A the girls, green with envy parents, which she was theirs the boys, she's found in their dreams her lips a perfect shade of pink her clothes, the biggest brands a purse for every dress she buys a house surrounded by sand her name is Perfect not a single mistake "A masterpeice!" all the boys would say she rules the school a princess, some say struts through the crowd her feathers astray "Her heart is pure!" "Oh wow! She's great!" what a world she lives in surrounded by a golden gate her smile is wide not a flaw on that face! she walks with percision with such classical grace she's never alone always a friend by her side her parents are great they have the most pride she's beautiful she's incredible and cool she's your typical clone of Little Miss High School fashionista

i scream for the sunlight [13 Aug 2004|07:10pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | if winter ends . bright eyes ] "Mediocrity" By Mary Captan blow off the trend you're so fake be yourself, kid own the day the phoniest, it seems take your mask off be yourself, kid admit that your soft drop all your slang take off the "ice" be yourself, kid stop faking your strife you're someone you're not act like a man be yourself, kid take a stand scream it loud don't be shy be yourself, kid don't be a lie break the mold lose the labels be yourself, kid you won't be dull strip yourself raw sing with your might be yourself, kid let them know, you're right speak the truth don't let lies seep through be yourself, kid lose the attitude start a revolution unique is in be yourself, kid be your own trend fashionista

i feel the earth beneath my feet [13 Aug 2004|06:48pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | the execution of all things . rilo kiley ] man..i'm really feeling it today..here's another. "And So On..." By Mary Captan you don't need to love me you're really not that great your mind moves far too quickly at accelerating rates i like to watch you argue it's a sight for sore eyes but you keep me so entertained as the words begin to fly you like to stand your place this is for sure a fact sometimes you're so stubborn but it's cute to watch you react your nose flairs when your angry you claim mine does too you're so brutally honest when you step into the room your flaws are a riot yet you're convinced they dont exist when you're confronted with error it sucks the life out of you to admit i really don't want to love you but that's how the story ends you're only imperfection could possibly be is that you're the perfect boyfriend fashionista

[13 Aug 2004|06:08pm] [ mood | happy ] i'm bored..so i wrote. kind of all over the place..but i still like it..comments would be appreciated ;). i know it's not very original..BUT..it's the first time i wrote a poem about teen angst and pressure to be perfect. and the beat is off and the words don't rhyme..but it's still perfect ;). Fake It Sweetie By Mary Captan she's been rendered and bruised torn apart and ravaged beaten and destroyed obstructed and degrated all by the girl in the mirror she's shoved and kicked argued and lashed out yelled and screamed denied and held grudges trying to hide the girl in the mirror she's fallen and sunk ran into walls and beat herself up cut herself open and licked her wound pushed it all down and lost the fight all to weep for the girl in the mirror now she's caught in a rut not sure how to act to please the one's who's pressure caused her to tear herself apart all to please the people behind the mirror this one..i actually sat down and thought about. i love it. it's got a good rhythm and it rhymes..go me. "Dance With Me" By Mary Captan we'll watch comets weep for dignity as your eyes put them to shame and we'll live off drops of sunshine and dance through the milky way we'll both try on o'rien's belt play dress up, just for two we'll fancy up the dying stars and make them look brand new the moon will weep for a love so pure it's joy so silvery sweet the sun will shine in the name of love in our lovely little galaxy fashionista

[12 Aug 2004|08:28pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | will & grace ] incredible song..freakishly upbeat..it makes my heart smile. New York, New York By Ryan Adams Well, I shuffled through the city on the 4th of July I had a firecracker waiting to blow Breakin' like a rocket who makin' its way To the cities of Mexico Lived in an apartment out on Avenue A I had a tar-hut on the corner of 10th Had myself a lover who was finer than gold But I've broken up and busted up since And love don't play any games with me Anymore like she did before The world won't wait, so I better shake That thing right out there through the door Hell, I still love you, New York Found myself a picture that would fit in the folds Of my wallet and it stayed pretty good Still amazed I didn't lose it on the roof of the place When I was drunk and I was thinking of you Every day the children they were singing their tune Out on the streets and you could hear from inside Used to take the subway up to Houston and 3rd I would wait for you and I'd try to hide And love won't play any games with me Anymore if you don't want it to The world won't wait and I watched you shake But honey, I don't blame you Hell, I still love you, New York Hell, I still love you, New York New York I remember Christmas in the blistering cold In a church on the upper west side Babe, I stood their singing, I was holding your arm You were holding my trust like a child Found a lot of trouble out on Avenue B But I tried to keep the overhead low Farewell to the city and the love of my life At least we left before we had to go And love won't play any games with you Anymore if you want 'em to So we better shake this old thing out the door I'll always be thinkin' of you I'll always love you though New York I'll always love you though New York, New York, New York fashionista

the concrete collides [12 Aug 2004|04:39pm] [ mood | working ] [ music | the city has sex . bright eyes ] "Silent Night" By Aimee Mann silent night broken night all is fallen when you take your flight i found some hate for you just for show you found some love for me thinking i'd go don't keep me from crying to sleep sleep in heavenly peace silent night moonlit night nothing's changed nothing is right i should be stronger than weeping alone you should be weaker than sending me home i can't stop you fighting to sleep sleep in heavenly peace fashionista

breakin my back just to know your name [11 Aug 2004|08:34pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | somebody told me . the killers ] the beach was aweseome. lots of hotties. went to Mikuh's last night. it was awesome. hung out with (gorgeous) tim, har har. and his friends Ed, Dan, and Justin. they were really fun. we got in trouble cause we were hanging out on jess's roof. then..today..we hung out around the house and baked cookies and listened to old backstreet boys CDs. and then Tim came over. it was fun. YEAH! lol. i actually had a whole other, more cool, entry, but it didnt update right. so you get this piece of crap. thank you and goodnight. fashionista

i will be pure [03 Aug 2004|01:08pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | no lies, just love ] la playa es manana! "The Tide" By The Spill Canvas there are three count 'em three children playing on the beach the were eager to learn to be taught and to teach there's Veronica, she's biting her lip and she's watching the waves go white at the tip and there's Veta radiating with joy luckily she still can't stand the sight of a boy lastly there's Dave his hair dances in the wind and he's wondering what love is and why it has to end and he can't understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends his mother whispers quietly heaven's not a place that you go when you die it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive so live for the moment take this advice live by every word love is just a hoax so forget anything that you have heard and live for the moment now there are three count 'em three children growing on the beach they were eager to learn to be taught and to teach there's Veronica she's licking her lips as she waits for her real first passionate kiss and there's Veta she can't admit her jealousy of her sister Veronica and how she's so pretty and lastly there's Dave still sitting on the dock he ponders his life and he skips his rocks and he wonders when his father will return but he's not coming back and he can't understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends his mother whispers quietly heaven's not a place that you go when you die it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive so live for the moment take this advice live by every word love is just a hoax so forget anything that you have heard forget everything and there's three count 'em three children missing from the beach they were eager to learn to be taught and to teach but the sad thing is they never lived past the age of 15 due to neglect from their mother who was bed ridden by her ex lover their father and she didnt even notice or pay much attention as the tide came in and swept her three into the ocean now all her advice it seems useless heavens not a place that you go when you die it's the moment in life when they touch you when you feel alive and live for the moment take this advice live by every word love's completely real so forget anything that you have heard and live by the moment now fashionista

something happens and i'm head over heels! i never find out, till i'm head over heels! throw it away [30 Jul 2004|09:55pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | head over heels ] helllooo. sooo..my best friend hates me. haha. we were on the phone and she kept calling me gay so i kept putting her on mute and hanging up on her, you know, real adult-like tactics, and so everytime i would call back..she would yell at me for hanging up on her. so i did it again, and i called her back and she goes "mary?" and i answer..and she starts yelling at me about how someone called and she thought it was me so she yelled at them and it was her step brother's dad and that she hated me and she was going to eat all my fudge..hmm. so anyway, i talked to eddie on the phone for 2 hours today. i never realized how freaking hilarious he is. he's such a sweet guy, i love him. uhh..everyone seems to be mad at me... i have to go clean my braces, there's chicken stuck to them. BRACES ARE SEXY! i need new friends. i'm starting to really get into The Killers. good band. :). i saw their video for "Somebody Told Me" this morning, and the song they play on MTV is different then the one that i have downloaded. the one i have downloaded is sythed the eff out. i really like the version i have better, it reminds me of The Faint. i was watching the show..called..discover and download..and they had this band on it called Ambulance..they were good. yeah.. i'm done. thanks. see yah! farewell! bon voyage! adios! the worst is over! such sweet sorrow! i cant have corn on the cob cause of my braces jeah. by the freaking way this IS old school TEARS FOR FEARS suck it biatches. woah..sorry :D fashionista

[29 Jul 2004|04:15pm] [ mood | lethargic ] i was bored..so i wanted to write. i havent really anything that was deep and meaningful in a while..and this doesn't change anything. this is kind of cheesy and gay, but i like it so you can kiss my butt. :D "Prince Pressure" by Mary Captan you'll want to be my prince i'll wallow in pain you'll try to rescue me i'll reject you in vain you'll reach for my hand i'll bear my teeth you'll try again i'll finally scream you'll ask me to a dance i'll respond with a "no" you'll try to convince me i'll hang up the phone you'll ask if i care i'll laugh in your face you'll walk away i'll stand my place you'll tell me you love me i'll keep my mouth closed you'll try to kiss me i'll tell you who i loathe you'll move out of state i'll smile in relief you'll never write i'll never sleep you'll continue to haunt me i'll scream in regret you'll get married i'll with we never met the phone'll ring i'll hope it's you you'll respond on the other end i'll wonder what to do you'll tell me you're happy i'll act like i'm glad you'll say that you've missed me i'll tell you i'm still mad you'll say your goodbyes i'll hang up the phone you'll go on living life and i'll die alone fashionista

[28 Jul 2004|07:46pm] [ mood | irritated ] my braces are really NOT that sexy. i was trying to convince myself that they looked sexy..but no matter what i wear or how i wear my makeup..i still look like i'm 12. damn it damn it damn it. i love this song Eskimo By Damien Rice Tiredness fuels empty thoughts I find myself disposed Brightness fills empty space In search of inspiration Harder now with higher speed Washing in on top of me So I look to my eskimo friend I look to my eskimo friend I look to my eskimo friend When I'm down, down, down. Rain it wets muddy roads I find myself exposed Tapping doors, but irritate In search of destination Harder now with higher speed Washing in on top of me So I look to my eskimo friend I look to my eskimo friend I look to my eskimo friend When I'm down, down, down. When I'm down, down, down. When I'm down, down, down. fashionista

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