Blurty for Hee.

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Sunday, May 15th, 2005

Time:10:06 am.
i am no longer keeping this journal.
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Saturday, May 7th, 2005

Subject:finals schedule
Time:1:46 am.
05/07 (sat.) - constitutional law
05/09 (mon.) - history of china
05/10 (tues.) - economics
05/11 (wed.) - map of the modern world

my last final ends at 6 pm on wednesday.
and my plane is at 7 am on thursday.
when am i supposed to pack???? +_+

luckily, though, my roommate's flight to cali is at 6 am on thursday.
we are leaving from the same airport, too.
AND our last finals are the same, since we are both taking that map class.
so we are gonna be packing and leaving at the same time.

as much as i love my school and people here,
can't wait to get outta here.
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Wednesday, May 4th, 2005

Subject:to the world, i have one thing to say...
Time:10:44 pm.
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Time:11:10 am.
shitloads of work to do.
i'm so swamped.
fabiola, you are such a sweetie for reading each entry and leaving something behind. :)
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Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005

Subject:devil's dictionary
Time:1:09 am.

Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.

"You tiresome man!" cried Indolentio's wife,
"You've grown indifferent to all in life."
"Indifferent?" he drawled with a slow smile;
"I would be, dear, but it is not worth while."
Apuleius M. Gokul
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Monday, May 2nd, 2005

Time:2:14 am.
Mood: crappy.
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Sunday, May 1st, 2005

Subject:to those living in a fantasy
Time:11:29 pm.
leave me the freakin' hell alone.
leave me alone.
cuz you are no longer a part of my life.
just like the way you wanted.

so get that stupid look off your face, and get the hell away from my life.
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Saturday, April 30th, 2005

Time:1:48 am.
i'm just gonna run until i reach the end.
at the end, i'll finally be able to relax and laugh.
so...for that, i'll run.
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Tuesday, April 26th, 2005

Subject:how normal am i?
Time:12:38 am.
Mood: confused.
You Are 35% Normal
(Occasionally Normal)

You sure do march to your own beat...
But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all
You think on a totally different wavelength
And it's often a chore to get people to understand you

- from Fabio's blog -

..........where did i go wrong? :T
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Monday, April 4th, 2005

Subject:economics midterm #2
Time:9:21 am.
Mood: pissed off.
damn economics.
i hate it.
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Sunday, April 3rd, 2005

Subject:Pope John Paul II
Time:12:31 am.
Mood: sad.
I am not a Catholic or anything, but he has passed away.
Wherever he is (that depends on what religion you belong to), I pray for eternal comfort and peace for him.
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Monday, March 28th, 2005

Time:11:51 pm.
Mood: crappy.
ok, why is it that i can no longer hold a decent, relaxing, carefree conversation with mom?
it starts off nicely, but somewhere along the line, i always manage to get pissed off, for crying out loud!
i don't know, maybe i take every line of hers too seriously.
or maybe i am under that "a month-before-the finals" anxiety.
i know that everything she says is out of her concern for me and in the end, i always realize that she has been right all along.

YES, i know the world is a dark place.
i know everyone is out to get you, if you don't pay attention.
YES, i know you are all alone out in the real life.
no one's gonna look out for your interest.
YES, i know people are selfish and greedy and self-centered.
if you keep helping and trusting people, there's no guarantee that they'll return the favors to you.

YES, i know all that!!
it's a man-eat-man world out there!
the survival of the strongest, if you don't step over the one next to you, he'll step all over you!
all that nice crap, i know that, FOR JESUS CHRIST! (i'm sorry for saying His name in vain)

BUT FOR ONCE, just once..
can't we just look at things optimistically?

i'm tired of being told that the world is a dark place.
i'm tired of being told that i can't do things i wanna do cuz it's not socially acceptable.
i'm tired of being told all that lines about social customs, traditions, and honor, and pride.

i'm hoping this discontent with my mom will dissolve once i get back home..
otherwise 3 months of summer are going to be pure hell.
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Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005

Subject:spring semester '05
Time:9:13 pm.
long time no update, huh?
i guess i just didn't see any reason why i should...since i know that no one i know will be reading this...unless..
i don't know.

well, spring semester is almost over.
almost a month of classes to go, and then finals, and then home. :)
in fact, easter break starts tomorrow.
my best friend is going home for easter. :( so i'm a little sad about that. but other friends are staying.

i can't wait for summer to come.

my mom might come out here in early may. i want to show her around the campus, even though it's during the finals week. she's not sure about coming though. originally she was gonna visit my brother, so on the way down there, she was gonna make a stop at my school and visit me and THEN head down to my brother. but my brother thinks it's better for her to come out at the beginning of the school year instead of at the end. so mom might not come out here at all. we don't know yet. :( the only reason why i want her to come out here is cuz i wanna show her around the campus. i guess that can wait, if she does decide not to come this may.

now that the midterms are done, i am in the lazy mode again. :T
i need to get started on studying during easter break. my roommate's mom is coming on thursday night. that's something interesting, since my roommate and her mom don't get along very well. but it was sweet seeing how nervous my roommate was and how meticulously she was planning on what to do with her mom. :)

good night.
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Thursday, March 3rd, 2005

Subject:midterm crunch week
Time:10:06 am.
I feel like shit, I live like shit.
And yes, I look like shit.

Can't wait for today to end!
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Friday, October 29th, 2004

Time:4:25 pm.
someone told me that i make people feel really comfortable to be with me.
i guess that's a good thing, eh?
some people dressed up for embassies trick-or-treating. some were really WILDLY dressed. :P
oh wellz.
my theology exam was supposed to be next week, but the professor delayed it until the week after next week.
so i only have economics exam next week.
i am going to be out tonight, though. so i'll do my work before i go out today, and work my ass off tomorrow and sunday. but for just tonight, just tonight, i really want to lose myself.
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Tuesday, October 26th, 2004

Subject:in the computer lab
Time:11:20 am.
our dorm computer lab has really cool computers... :) i love it!
i talked to mom yesterday. she kinda made me a little bit upset about the philosophy paper, but then she was being really supportive and all. so frustration melted away. one thing i realized about myself is that i hold grudges for the longest time. i mean, i do have TONS of bad personality problems, and i mean it. i get upset real easily, especially over small things, too. :T but then i also forgive easily. i am inherently introverted, so i think i am not willing to lose so few people i have in my life. so i tend to forgive people. but forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, right? i can hold onto things really tight..which kinda makes me petty, i guess.
my roommate is a great person, but i don't think we are compatible. she's really talkative...i can be, but there are certain times when i just wanna be alone and be as much anti-social as possible, you know? but she's the kind of a person who likes to talk things out even when she's stressed, while i HATE more than anything to talk about my sources of stress. i mean, for me, verbally expressing what is upsetting me usually gets me down even more and depresses me. i bet she's never encountered a being like yours truly.
oh wellz. this week is pretty easy-going..i have no tests..just a paper due thursday and a quiz on friday. :) but next week, i have 2 tests, and then the next week, i have an important paper due. so i wanna get started. this coming weekend, my friend wants to go party. go figures. :P so i need to start studying for the exams next week, if i wanna parTAY. :)
oooh, i am getting hungry!
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Sunday, October 24th, 2004

Time:3:20 am.
Mood: confused.
Music:busted - brown eyed girl.
when will this endless thirst end.
when will this hollow empty hole cave into me.
will i ever meet someone who can actually fulfill this eternal and inherent hole in me.
can i actually meet someone who puts smile on my face after all the chaos?
can i?
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Friday, October 22nd, 2004

Subject:me = neurotic psycho
Time:10:34 am.
Mood: crazy.
Music:epik high - day of peace.
i think i am psychotic, masochistic, sadistic, neurotic, and all those emotionally insane things.
i put myself through emotional torture repeatedly.
i read some blood type personality tests recently, and i think i am a typical blood a type.
i intentionally and sometimes unintentionally do evil and hurtful things to others, and unlike other brash souls, i go thru agonizing guilt trip afterwards. and then i become overly nice and friendly to make up for naughty things i have done. then i do bad things again -> guilt trip -> sweetening period -> bad get the idea. i mean, my personal motto is, "don't do something you are gonna regret later." so in my personal opinion, doing bad things openly and feeling no guilt about it is somewhat better than doing bad things and then feeling bad about it but keeping on doing bad things anyway!! but me, i get into this bipolar mode in which my evil twin is fighting with her angelic twin, and put myself through emotional torture. you see what i mean? i hate going up and down this emotional roller coaster in which i hate someone and do bad things to her, and then feel bad about it and become really nice to her later. there was someone like that back at the old school, and now here, there is this girl to whom i am like this. why!! why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need more meditation.
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Saturday, October 16th, 2004

Subject:stupid things we do
Time:2:53 pm.
i entered into contract with my friend around 2 am today.
the contract expires exactly today next year.
what is the contract?
it is to get a boyfriend until that time.
we even came up with penalty.
a loser has to buy a winner a meal.
but IF we both lose...which is the most likely option..hehe~*
we are going to treat ourselves to dinner at the MOST expensive restaurant by potomac river.
we'll see how this goes.
for starters, i am going to a party tonight.
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Wednesday, October 13th, 2004

Time:2:46 am.
one year of college, and i thought i'd know how to manage time by now.
wrong assumption. LOOOOONG way to go.
time just flies really quickly here.
it's already the middle of october..soon it's gonna be winter break. and then summer break.
and then i am gonna be a junior. and then a senior.
and then graduate school. then marriage. and then comes job.
or maybe i should just focus on my theology midterm for now. :)
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Blurty for Hee.

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