Well, felt obliged to write something since it's been a little while. Pete just called. He asked me if there was anything I was doing or wanted to do self-improvement-wise. You know, us intellectuals, after the thrill of youth and sex has passed (which unfortunately seems to have happened early for myself) look towards other pursuits to find enjoyment. It's an interesting concept and I haven't thought about it much, but given that i'm in a fairly stable job and looking to be out of financial worries here soon i really should start thinking about how i can better myself. i've always wanted to re-find religion and have this idea about going to three different religious services in one weekend...maybe this is the weekend. I think it would be awesome to gather so many insightful objectives on the all-in-one in one weekend. we'll see. i'll propose the idea to Pete tonight because doubtless we'll be our re-hashing our youth and making ourselves more acceptable to ourselves via liquid chemical enhancement. furthur!
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ok, i've got a pre-new years resolution: start taking advantage of opportunities that fall at you feet. get on your toes. come on, travis. when the cute girl at publix asks if you need help bringing your cart out to your car, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, say yes! what happened to me? seriously. [/rant]

so, i was browsing through the Tao Te Ching this evening and came to a striking realization between buddhism/taoism and christianity. now, i was raised christian and believe i have a pretty firm grasp on the moral and ethical structure of the religion. as far as buddhism/taoism/zen* goes i've read the blue cliff records, the tao te ching (several times), and zen and the art of archery. so i wouldn't say i have a huge grasp on things and i'm sure there are plenty of zealots out there who would love to tear me up for the following, but i'm just putting it down as i think of it:

it seems (at least in comparison to b/t/z) that christianity is a very selfish religion. b/t/z and christianity share almost the exact same views on social and emotional life. treat the all-one's creation with respect and care, treat others meekly, etc... yet, b/t/z seems to do so because it is the just and logical thing to do. whereas christianity preaches to live this way so that you will be rewarded (i.e. heaven). why else would most christians practice these disciplines? because a shoeless magic hippie** told them too? no, because of fear of eternal damnation for one's own soul. and the b/t/z monks do so because it makes sense and is logical and helps them to achieve a greater sense of the whole being. now, you could say that a lot of christians see this way too, but then why even bring up heaven or hell? easy, because the majority of the idiots out there want to be rewarded for their hard work. and who gets rewarded by bringing in more converts? the church.

let's all meditate and get drunk on rice wine.... [/rant]


oh, and if you want to know which chapter of the tao te ching i was reading here you go: http://www.nokama.com/tao/index.cfm?fuseaction=chapter&ch=13

* i know they're all separate religions but since i don't know enough about each individually i have to group all my eastern thought into one homogeneous school
** said only to prove a point. sorry JC. you're still a good guy in my book.

well, here i am completely full of mixed emotions. i guess i didn't realize what a close election this was until now. and i don't know whether to feel hopeful that our country will put this whole thing behind it and come together like we should have after 9-11 or if i should feel panicked that we have no where to go but deeper into division.

before i get deeper into this rant, i would like to congratulate george w. bush on his victory and those that fought for him. i admire him as a man of conviction and faith. and despite my harsh remarks in the past, i still realize potential. he has the potential to unite this country and lead us to better things if he can learn to take off his terrorism blinders and see the bigger picture. i would also like to thank every american who gave so much in their efforts to make a change and get out the vote.

onto my thoughts...

two thoughts plagued me all day. the first being that our country is fighting itself. we are two forces clashing viscously head-to-head. half our country did not vote for the leader that's in power. half our country fought bitterly to oust our leader, the leader of the most powerful force on the planet. one out of every two americans is disenchanted with their leadership (probably more than that even)... this. is. dangerous!

we need a change before it is forced upon us. yes, we need protection but, more importantly we need to change the way we think. the world we live in is a global community. like it or not. information can be transmitted instantly to the other side of the planet. the earth has never seemed smaller. smalltown, usa, is a tourist attraction now, and not a reality. this is why there is struggle in the world. we're all trying to come to terms with the fact that we're all human. we're all striving to maintain our roots and individuality but come to terms with this new homogeneous society where we're defined by the letters in our email addresses. it's tough, and it's going to take some serious thinking and good diplomacy.

the second thought that has been with me is some footage i saw of people in europe, by candlelight, praying that bush did not get elected. now, i've been to europe, and i know the mentality there, but that's just moving. these people are praying to the same god that bush prays to, to the same god kerry prays to, to the same god that islamic extremists pray to, to the same god children in israel, palestine, afghanistan, iraq, and sudan pray to, the same god that blesses america. this is the culture that built some of the greatest houses of said god in the world. stand in any cathedral in france, italy, or england and tell me there's not a higher force. yet, they're praying that our president does not get re-elected. what is god supposed to think?

now, the ignorant layman would say, "oh, that's because they're all anti-american iraq supporters." but the average layman has never been out of the country. in fact only 18% or americans own a passport. it's true. look it up. what most people don't realize is how much US policy affects the rest of the world. we are the most powerful country on the planet. what we do has real-life effect on others. it may seem abstract to a farmer in wisconsin but it's not pretend. it's for real. when we go to war, parents from nations all over the globe send their children to die for our causes. that's real life. i'm not saying they're bad causes. all i'm saying is that every american needs to start thinking seriously about how they want their country to be perceived in the global economy and global community.

so, my hope is that bush will make a valiant attempt to regain the respect internationally that our country used to pride itself on and work diplomatically to solve the world's problems. you cannot fight for peace. think about it. hopefully he will end his preemptive war strategy (a strategy developed well before 9-11, read Project for a New American Century) because another war will only result in a draft. even war expert republican and democrat has said it is inevitable. and if bush decisively decides to work for peace and respect, let's all join together as americans and follow. let's become international citizens who happen to be american, rather than americans who happen to be earthlings.

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here's halloween. i'm sore from a soccer game earlier. it's been a weird florida/georgia weekend here. lots of ups and downs and abbreviated ocular romances. just in a procrastinating, blah, of a mood. probably been thinking about that vicious female species too much. got to get out of this quagmire...someone tell me a joke.

so, i'm reading "the electric acid kool-aid test" by tom wolfe (not for the faint-hearted reader. definitely not dan brown). for a brief understanding on the general nature of the book we'll go with this statement: "a documentary of the beginnings of psychedelic drug use in the US and the way in which it can lead the user to higher levels of thinking through the eyes of a member of 'the Pranksters,' a commune-style grand experiment in communal living and drug taking in the Pacific Northwest in 1968." i chose to use a run-on sentence, because that's how mot of the book is written. in acid-trippy hippie language. quite endearing really. but onward to what i found interesting:

we get to this point where we're deep in the discussion about lag on audio equipment, and did you know that it takes 1/30th of a second for the bodily senses to transmit something to the brain? now, this is always something i'd thought about since i was a kid, and it's nice to know someone else was thinking it "stoned out of their goard" in 1968...but this means, no one is actually acting in "the present." we're all just watching and reacting to things that already happened 1/30th of a second ago. so, we're all players in this movie inside our mind. there's something to think about. i'm sure it's a lot more interesting too on LSD with some bob dylan in the background. so, when shakespeare said that all the worlds a stage...maybe he just had some good peyote...
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oh, and for something a little less intellectual, but just as stimulating be sure to check out Nice Peter - http://www.nicepeter.com/pages2/bushsonghi.html

so, on the 11 hour drive to maryland on sunday i came to a realization. i really have nothing else to aspire towards in life. i've done pretty much all one could hope to do; i've travelled, fell in love, gotten my heart broken, been successful, achieved higher learning, become at peace with myself, and accepted death as an inevitability. and i'm pretty sure i'm not going to solve any world problems, or expound on the great questions of the universe. so, that's it. i have lived. now, you may say, that sounds depressing and nihilistic. yet, instead i have felt a great calm, in that whatever happens from here on out is icing on the cake. who doesn't like icing? (maybe it's that confetti kind i used to spread on graham crackers as a kid) i'm not going to stop planning for the long term or anything, because as far as i know i'm not dying tomorrow, but i will start living in a greater sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that i have led a good life. [/rant]