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Comfortably Numb

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[16 Jan 2004|07:23pm]
I made a new journal...so I'll be updating there from now on, not that anyone reads this or anything but I thought I'd share anyway.




>EDIT: Just realized I never gave a link to the new one. Duh.

www.blurty.com/users/_sever
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Good night, sweet Prince.. [06 Jan 2004|06:25pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | Staind- Fray ]

This is a new year. But not a new life. We are still living something we started a long time ago.

Be a dreamer. No one really dreams any more. No one really cares about whether they control what goes on in their dreams or their own minds even. As the pattern gets more intricate and subtle, being swept along is no longer enough.

Remember to dream and remember to live.

They say a dream is only as long as it lasts.
Couldn't you say the same thing about life?

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...tearing me down with your smile, every shining time you arrive. [26 Dec 2003|12:13pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Socialburn- Down ]

My family is so wierd. Last night was spent doing nothing at all at my Aunts house, where I only got two gifts. I hate holidays. Oh so much. Somebody shoot me. Movies tonight with The Gang, wahoo can't wait for that. I need a ride though. Anyone wanna come pick me up? C'mon, you know you want to. Anyone..? -cries- Fine, be that way.

Some random quiz thingy..enjoy it, biatch.


Quiz )

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"All I got was slippers...I don't even like slippers.." [25 Dec 2003|01:20am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]
[ music | Fiona Apple- Shadowboxer ]

Yeah. Happy Fucking Christmas.


Grammar Fuhrer
You are the grammar Fuhrer. All bow to your
authority. You will crush all the inferior
people under the soles of your jackboots, and
any who question your motives will be
eliminated. Your punishment is being the bane
of every other person's existence, because
you're constantly contradicting stupidity.
Everyone will be gunning for you. Your dreams
of a master race of spellers and grammarians
frighten the masses. You must always watch your
back. If only your power could be used for good
instead of evil.


What is your grammar aptitude?
brought to you by Quizilla


Fear me bitch ;D.


Sometimes, just looking at you hurts me.
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Self destructive patterns ensue.. [22 Dec 2003|11:03pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Spineshark- Smothered ]

OMGZ MSI ROCKED!!! -dies- x.x it was so fucking awsome, dude. Just like, wow. AND I got Jimmy to sign my coat and my arm and I RIPPED HIS SHIRT OFF FUCKERS! YEA! Ok..I'm like about to hyperventalate..again. It was so great. So today I went to Katie's house, we rented Cowboy Bebop: The Movie and Vampire Hunter D. Awsome shit kids. Spike is like..teh sex. He's soo hot, but he died in the last episode of the show, WHICH SUCKED. I loved him--no still love him, he's just dead. If anything would turn me into a necrofelliac, it would be Spike. Or Wolfwood. Omgz...sex -drools-. I got to see Ryan (Sex Muffin) and the show, it was great. "Ryan! I thought we had a disscussion about tucking in your shirt!" Lmao, I love him. And I got to see Nick B., whom I haven't seen in what, a year and a half? Holy Shit. It's amazing how he still looks the same. We (me and Ryan) were suppose to go to the movies tonight, but that got scratched. But it's cool, 'cause Friday night we're gonna go, and Katie and Caity and Jacqui and Christine are going too. So it'll be a fun little "group thing". Yay.

Christmas is getting too close..and I still need to shop. I know, I'm a horrible person. -hangs head-






I could make a career of being blue
I could dress in black and read Camus
smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth
like I was 17
that would be a scream





I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me...

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...and I will put my hands up and surrender [20 Dec 2003|08:58pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | From Autumn to Ashes- Chloroform Perfume ]

What happened to you?

I guess I just had this crazy dream that you would wait for me. I come back, and it's like Im in another world, with another you. You're not the person I remember. He was so beautiful, and so..perfect it seemed. Now all that's left is a shell of love's tradedy. I wish I could make you stop crying. I wish I could just hold you and tell you that things are going to be alright and nothing can hurt you again. Childish isn't it? It's funny how our minds work, we leave with a memory, and expect to return to it. You got it all wrong baby, nothing gold can stay forever... But still I'd do anything to stop your pain, to see you smile at me like you used to. I miss that. I miss you.




Skip this pretense and go straight to dying..




Lately I've been feeling more dead than alive. And I hate it.
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Alone in the cold.. [13 Dec 2003|08:29pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | A Perfect Circle- Weak and Powerless ]

It's been a long time since I last updated, sorry. I doubt anyone cares though, 'cause I doubt anyone reads this thing. Winter break is almost here, and I feel jittery and meloncoly. I guess I always get like this before Chirstmas. There's nothing wrong with my life, so why am I so fucking sad? Why am I always dissapointed with myself? I always start to think about religion this time of year too. About how Jesus mutilated his own body for the sake of millions, it makes me feel stupid and selfish. I'm not saying I'm going to go nail myself to a cross, but I feel like shit because I don't help people out more often. I don't know what I'm saying, sometimes my mind gives even me the creeps. And these fucking mind-splitting, thought shattering headaches aren't really improving things a whole lot.

-------

you almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time


-------

Everytime that song plays I can think of nothing but him. Of how much fun we had, just hanging out, of how much I fucking miss him. I start to cry, and I hate it. I feel so fucking weak, crying like a stupid whore over something I never had, and never will.

Stupid fucking holidays make me get all sentimental.

------
Our sun winds down to a dramatic finish
as I trace the memory of you to it's end.
Quickly time flies, the moon rises high,
Now softly, daunting, it teases you and I.
Your eyes are stars among the brightest, as if
putting the light of heaven to shame was just a game.
A smile, gentle, sentimental,
Plays across your lips. And that crucial moment -
the world is spinning - my head is swimming -
And you're grinning. Winning isn't everything,
But you still keep score. So the majority rules.
And then I remind you that you're kissing a fool.
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journal mania. [05 Dec 2003|06:17pm]
Wow. Not too much going on in the life department right now. Going to this show called Next Big Thing 3 with Rhys and his friend Sean (who rocks!) on Sunday. Can't wait, it's going to be fun just to hang out with other people for once. Katherine is the shizzle. She says the greatest things during conversations and she always cheers me up loads. I LOVE YOU KATHERINE! you rock beyond all things that have ever rocked before. Yea, well with that, I'm going. Later homies. NEW YORK IN 11 DAYS FUCKERS!


pickITup SKA hep: ok. just because my life long goal consists of punk guys with hair, scarves, tight pants, and many belts, fucking me on the bathroom door that's really dirty, them being sweaty, going to play an instrument, then fucking me more, then never talking to them again until i go to their next show and we fuck more.. doesn't mean ANYTHING olivia. i'm just a normal girl, with normal dreams.
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I'm drowning in you... [18 Nov 2003|05:38pm]
[ mood | pretty good ]
[ music | Puddle of Mud- Away from me ]

Simple townsfolk, you can put down your pitchforks and torches! I have returned to update!! *crickets chirp*

...Oh yea, I forgot, no one reads this anyway. Oh well. Trigun DVD's arrived last Friday <3<3<3. Oh man, they rock soooo much. I love the Gung Ho Guns, they're so cool..And Legato leads them so they're like a million times cooler :D. I think my favorite of all time is Zaise the Beast, 'cause he was like, this little 9 year old. OMG! AND THE RUMORS I HEARD WERE TRUE!!!!! AHHH *dies*. It turns out that Wolfwood does work for [Spoiler name] and was infact employed to kill [Spoiler] for money. And he then became a [Spoiler] by [Spoiler]. OMG!! But in the end he realized he couldn't kill [Spoiler] because he...like didn't want to. Which is tres YAY! Anyway, yea..what else has happened? Not too much really. I might have a job at the dry cleaners near the house for 8 bucks an hour, which rocks. Did some more driving today on the road with Jones and some other chicks in my class. It was pretty cool, I did really good. And I kept trying (in vain, might I add) to get Jones to buy us pizza. Still trying to get Rebecca and Rhys to go to the movies with me, but we can never find a date that's good for all of us. Well, such is life. Dinner's ready, later.

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shout it out, don't drown the sound, i'll drown you out. [10 Nov 2003|03:46pm]
[ mood | jittery ]
[ music | Some odd Arbys commercial ]

Yea, well not much has happened since I had my freak out entry about buying Trigun. OMG!! It's arriving on Thursday!! *squeel* oh man oh jeeze oh god oh jeeze...

anuscloud
A bleeding anus cloud, who'd a thunk it. They make
plugs for that, you know.


which rejected character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS HOLY! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!! lmao

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"You kill innocent children in my name and ask for retrobution?!" [08 Nov 2003|10:26pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Smile Empty Soul- Nowhere Kids ]

OH. MY. GODS.

I just bought the Trigun DVD box set, all 26 episodes, never viewed, for like 40 bucks. Normally it's about $180 in stores and junk. Gods I love Ebay. Beyond all things. Not too much else has been going on, school is pretty good, life is alight I guess. Next week I might actually go to the movies with..gasp..people. It would be a real miracle. Tomorrow I get to go pick up my framed posters from Uncle Ken, joyus day!!

Been on this like mad drawing frenzy lately. I blame you Kaite!! Working on my Vash faces and Wolfwood too. They're coming along pretty good, though when I try to make Wolfwood look sympathetic, he ends up looking sadistic and mean. Oops. AND I found out this rumor, and if it's true, just..oh..my..gods. There is this rumor that Wolfwood is part of [enter spoiler here] and was sent by [enter spoiler here] to kill [more spoilers]. Crazy huh? I mean if it's true, and he really is, wh0a.

Okay, I'm gonna go, it's the lunar eclipse tonight and I wanna try to take some good pictures. Laters.

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"I want your meat" [06 Nov 2003|02:47pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | The Beatles- Yellow Submarine ]

So yesterday dad was here and we went to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays and saw Scary Movie 3. The movie actually wasn't all that bad. I fell asleep for a bit though. Let's see, they made fun of....the ring, signs, the others, michael jackson, 8 mile, the matrix...and uh, I think that was it. I remember in the last one, they made fun of like 20 movies and such, oh well. Dinner was actually rather funny. Dad had order the chicken parmeasan and was throughly let down. When the waitress asked how the meal was at the end, he said, and I quote, " I could have made a better dish if I had malaria, one broken arm, a broken thumb, a blindfold, and was semi-comatose." Now that's an insult. I found it all very amusing however. Er, let's see...what else has happened lately? Oh oh! I turned Katie-love into a Trigun fangirl. Lol, and who can't be?! Vash is like..sex. And anyone who denies that is lying. And all you other fangirls out there can sod off, he's mine *growl*. And Katie gets Wolfwood, who is major sex as well lol.

Rebecca told me about this awsome college thing that's doing a trip to London over the summer. OH. MY.GOD. I really want to go. Only thing is, it's 5 grand, and I don't have that kind of money :(. I'm trying to get a job and now I have a renewed drive because if I get enough money, I can pay for the trip myself. Rebecca rocks. We're trying to get Rhys to go to the movies with us some time soon, but we can't figure out a date when all of us are free. So that's still in the works. I hope we can, I need a damn social life. Anyways, yea, I gotta go. Later muchachos.

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*dances like wh0a* [01 Nov 2003|12:23am]
[ mood | happy ]

Which male HP Character Are You Most Likely To Shag? by elschan
Name
Age
Favorite Color
Your Match:Remus Lupin
Created with quill18's MemeGen!




sorry...but this just made my day. I. Love. Remus. Lupin. *fangirl squee*
Yes, indeed, I am a fangirl.

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C'mon baby, make it hurt so good. Sometimes love don't feel like it should [31 Oct 2003|08:36pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | Smashing Pumpkins- Disarm ]

Bored. Alone. Tired. Sad. Snarky. Aggravated. Pissed off. Lonely.

I fucking hate Florida. Too fucking hot, and too fucking lonely. I hate how I'm so alone here, in this world. The middle of nowhere, in the center of everything. Welcome to your new life. Today in English we had to talk about a fear we had and how we overcame it, or why we haven't yet. I picked being hurt. Not physically. I can take that. Bring it on. Make me bleed. But mentally. Emotionally. Being drained of your emotions, left like an empty shell. That class, is scary.

I hate being home alone. Like tonight. Mom's working, so I'm here all alone. Fucking trick-or-treaters can go to hell. I left a bucket of candy out with a sign, I found it quite amusing:

Please Take One
All violators shall be subject to ritualistic slaughter.
Happy Halloween!


Happy Fucking Halloween.

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woooooo.....headache of doom >8( [28 Oct 2003|06:04pm]
[ mood | headachy ]
[ music | Lit- Miserable ]

I had the strangest dream last night. Fluffy pink (at least, I think they were pink) bunnies were poking Alan Rickman in Snape-mode with psychotropic carrots and that somehow got him stoned until he wound up singing "Come on, come on" by Smashmouth and dancing. It was very, very frightening.

Rar. And I have a headache. So I did this thing. Didn't help in the slightest. But oh well.


Afterlife as an Angel by childdoll
Your Name
Astrological Sign
Angel TypeAngel of Vengence
Wing ColorBlack with silver tips
Heavenly WeaponFlaming sword
Created with quill18's MemeGen!


FEAR MY FLAMING SWORD OF DOOM!!!!!

hahahahahahahaha

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"Zea are ze Germans, zea are used to ze cold, ya." [21 Oct 2003|06:59pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]
[ music | The Cure- Burn ]

NEW YORK ROCKED! WAHOO! I miss it already. I wanna go back home. It was so great to see people again. Thursday I went to Katherine's after my aunt's and we hung out till like 11 when John came to pick me up in his "gold pimp ghetto mobile". Or atleast that's what I call it. God I missed her like crazy. We hung out like old times. Sat in her kitchen eating something talking about random people. Sitting in her room, me reading, her on the computer. Good times man. She made me this kickass box of shit that she never got around to sending me in the mail so I opened it there. Wow. Hahaha, it was like so many random things. I loved the packaging the most. It was all like crayoned will pictures of us being made fun of and stuff. "OMG..freak!" And I got some old shirts of her's that she dosen't wear anymore. SCORE! I really need to go shopping soon. I have like zero clothing. Then on Friday I went up to good ol' LuHi to say hi to everyone and suprise Katie. Wahoo that was fun. I was a total hug slut :D. I got to see people I haven't seen in like 2843546546165 years, so it was awsome. Mrs. Feeley let me hang out in her office with her until the bell rang. Plus I was sneaking around and poping in on random old teachers just to say hi. Went to see Dr. Johnson, who always rocks. So then Caity "acidentally" missed her bus so Katie's mom would bring her home. Me and Katie had a great time that night at her house. Jacqui came over and we started watching The Two Towers, but we all fell asleep very early into it. "Tell her I have Ebola!" Lmao that was good. So then Jacqui left early that morning, after we had bagels. I DIDN'T DROP THE CREAM CHEESE! RIGHTEOUS! Then dad was suppose to come pick me up, but, being dad, suddenly couldn't. So I was marooned at Katie's. Which was cool....until we got locked out of the house. Lmao. We went to the deli to get lunch and try to call her mom at work, but her mom had gone to lunch. So we walk back and eat in the freezing cold sitting on her deck. Then we walk across the street to ask if we can use their phone, they do, but they make up stand outside! It was like 54 degrees! Stupid German people. Mom says to ask the Quinns if they have a key. Sexy neighbor-ness opens the door, let's us in, tells us they have a key. Fantastic. Only thing is, he dosen't know where it is. Sigh. So we got to hang out with sexyness until Katie's mom called to say she would be comming home to let us in. Then sexyness' mom calls saying where the key is. So by the time Katie's mom gets home, we're already in the house. Woo. Then she brought me back home and I had to wait until John got home to bitch a ride off of him to Kayla's for her party. Man, Kayla's was great. Kieran is awsome. And just oh so adorable. Lol. Brad was a dickhead and didn't come. The bastard. So we hung out and watched House of a 1000 corpses, fell asleep. And I left at like 1:30. Starving. No food at dad's. So Mike takes us to Taco Bell, yea man. Haha it was great, Mike pulls up and I get out and a delivery man from Domino's is pulling up at the same time. John ordered pizza. Oh well, so it was tacos and pizza all around. Fun stuff. Next morning no one decides to wake me so I end up getting up at one, and I have to be at the airport at 1:20. Rushing sucks.

Damn. That was a lot of writing. And that was only 3 days. Phew *wipes forhead*. So yesterday I stayed home because I was "sick" *cough*. Yea, I bet. Today we had to take the PSAT, which was just a load of fun. Brittany sat next to me and she had a squeaky chair. Every time we laughed you would hear "squeakcricksqueakcrick". Lmao it was great. Zac was all the way across the auditorium and he heard it. Driver's Ed rocked so much. We went out on the range and I got to drive a SUV. Rhys was my partner, man we pimped out that truck. I didn't even hit a cone. Oh yea. Go me. I just tend to curse every time I couldn't see the cone. "Fucking cone! Where the fuck did it go?!?" It's okay though, Rhys wasn't much better with the language. That was about it, American History sucked balls as usual. I got a letter yesterday telling me I was in the National Honor Society. Go me! But other than that, nothing much happened.

This was the longest entry ever. *is proud of self*. Later muchachos.

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Zoinks! [05 Oct 2003|08:37pm]
[ mood | productive ]
[ music | Godsmack- Voodoo ]

EE! Exams are upon us! And damn my laziness to Hell! If I hadn't been absent so much, I would have been able to exempt exams in all the classes I had atleast a B in. Gah! That would have been like..ALL OF THEM! Now I'm stuck taking them all...just because I like to stay home and sleep every once and awhile. How cruel. I need to remember to sigh up for school photo retakes because mine look like major crap. I'm going up to New York soon to visit, which rocks. I can't wait to see everyone. Katherine invited me to go to Salem with her from the 17th to the 19th, but mom and dad both said no. Plus that means I wont get to see Brad or Katie or Kayla or a whole bunch of other people I have to try to see in 3 days. Kayla's birthday is comming up, and I still haven't gotten her a gift, and I don't have any money. Uh oh. Maybe I'll like..make her something..I dunno. Maybe I can hit mom up for money. I really need a job man. This is crap. Everywhere I put in an application I never get a call. I put in 2 new ones during the week, one at Torrid and one at Spencers. Maybe someone will call me. A girl can only dream. Talked to Micah a bit ( I love oreos man!) and stuff, which was cool. I haven't talked to him in like a billion years. He told me it's like 54 degrees there. Good, I'm tired of being hot in Florida. I need to go organize my bio crap. Later amigos.

P.S.-Bopp is the shiz 'cause she can draw and I can't.

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[30 Sep 2003|03:26pm]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | a cranium splitting headache ]

is this what you wanted? this is what you get. turned all your lives into this shit. you never accepted or treated me fair. blame me for what i believe and i wear. you fucked yourselves and you raised these sheep. the blue and the withered seeds you will reap. you never gave me a chance to be me, or even a fucking chance just to be. but i have to show you that you played a role. and i will destroy you with one simple hole. the world that hates me has taken its toll. but now i have finally taken control. you wanted so bad to make me this thing. and i want you now to just kill the king.

and i am not sorry, this is what you deserve.

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[29 Sep 2003|06:07pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | Marilyn Manson- President is Dead ]

I'm tired of pretending. I'm sick and tired of acting like I'm important, like I matter. What's the point? It dosen't matter who we are as people does it? No. In the end all that matters is what we wear and how we act. I am not an actor. I am a human being. I wish sometimes people would remember that. I wish people would stop boxing in other people. Who really cares if your gay, straight, a stoner, a rocket scientist? I guess for some people, that's all life is. Who and what we are. Fake. Plastic. Thrashing emotions and screaming cries packaged neatly in a box of the new spring trends and whosdatingwho. Society is so stupid. All of this is.

I know I'm nothing. Fine. Now it's time for the rest of the fucking world to get it's head in order.


Good Luck.

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stupid Sarasota... :( [26 Sep 2003|09:29pm]
[ mood | pensive ]
[ music | "Minority Report" on tv ]

Rah. Dad came down to visit, which rocks. But...there's no computer..and we are waiting for those cable bastards to come and hook us up. Man, if I didn't have a phone I'd be lost. The only good thing was that I got to do was to miss Thursday and Friday of school. Now I get to fall even more behind. What fun. Tomorrow we get to go garage sale picking, yessssss. That will be awsome. I love garage sale picking, it's definitly one of my favorite things to do. Bahahaha. I think I'm going insane. This is the only time I've been near a computer since Wednesday ::twitch::, and I can't stand the thought of having to go until Sunday night again without it. God, I sound like some kind of drug addict. Weeee. I'm going insane and I sound like a drug addict! I need some good old HP fandom. Sigh.

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