Blurty for l i n d s.
|Wednesday, June 11th, 2003|
hey hotties. wow, soo long. no joke, my life hasta be the boringest thing ever. i love ashley hotton. she's wicked cool, my best buddie :D hmm.. what can i say. other than ive lost almost ½ my friends. oh well. summers coming up soon. we've only got 1 day left of class, then finals. should be gareat. no 7th per. final so i get out before everyone else. suckass. i can tell im gonna have a boring summer. im always ditched. or "excluding myself" as they like to call it. whatev. the friends i do have are awesome. dont need kids that are gonna be mean to me and use me like that. yah dont do that. ive gotta change i know, im a bitch. oh well, alls i really need is my ashley. :-*
i wanna dye my hair again. it kinda looks funny cause the top is brown when the bottoms dirty blonde. ahh. my mom likes my hair the way it is. she wants it darker actually. ha losa.
block party the 21st. should be fun time. jakes gonna come. its so weird, ive probably known that kid my whole life. we've got so many connections. kids that live down the street from me are his 2nd cousins, his mom worked with my mom, his moms cousins are my grandparent's neighbors, his uncle is my dentist.. wow, small world. jake does heroine though. wicked g.
i want summer. its gonna be fun. beachn it in scituate. yay.
im out. love you mario.. mkay.
|Wednesday, April 30th, 2003|
yo man. im in study, of course. i never get the chance to update anymore because im usually on the phone with jake, which isn't really a bad thing! i had a great vacation. well, when i came home from florida i had a great vacation. friday, i went to the mall with jake, steve <3, and drew. steve is so cute, i know jake thinks im like, in love with him.. but i'de just call it a little crush. not like a "im in love with you fuck me now" kinda crush. but i just think he's incredibly adorable and sweet. oh well, nothing there. anyways, jake shopped for shoes. we musta went into 7 stores before he picked out a pair. than, we went to the movies and saw identity. kinda weird movie, but it was okay. i wasn't really paying too much attention to it anyways ;)
on saturday, i went over stacey's because her and alex came home from virgina. later, we went to jake's house with fred, stevie, drew, pj, dave, and joey. it was really fun. joey's wicked cool. we're hanging out this saturday. stacey and alex are going to the semi, so i doubt ill see them at all this weekend. everyone likes them, not me. so its not like i was asked to go. whatever, i've got jake. that's all i really need.
on sunday, jake came over. it kinda sucked because he was afraid to touch me. he gave me a hickey and my rents saw and my mom had a talk with jake. nothin bad. he's just too scared now. he better not be scared when i come over his house on saturday!
i've got good weekend plans so far. i hope that they all pull through.
on friday, jake and steve are suppose to come over. we'll see. maybe alex can come too. i miss her. stac is working. saturday, im gonna go over jakes. just me. hmm.. you know what that means ;) i think me, alex, stacey, mark, jake, and steve are suppose to do something sunday. i dk i was just informed of these plans today.
i need a job. me and alex were suppose to get jobs together. oh well for that idea.
ahh, im out.
|Sunday, April 27th, 2003|
obviously im back from florida.
it was fun, but i miss everybody.
but im super glad to be home.
i really missed jake.
last night, i went over his house.
that was awesome.
he's a cutie.
NerviJ: lol...lindsey is blushin awwwwww....
he's a bitch though.
he makes fun of me a lot and it makes me sad :(
my best friends are home!!
alex and stacey went to virgina for a week.
i missed them tons.
im glad im home and everybodys home and we can all be together again. it makes me happy :D
<3 yah jacob.
i dont wanna run away.
but i cant take it. i dont understand.
if im not made for you than why does
my heart tell me that i am.
is there anyway that i can stay
in your arms?
|Tuesday, April 15th, 2003|
eeshh.. 2 dayz until florida.
i still hafta pack, too.
i don't know what to bring..
i hate florida already.
jake's coming over tomorrow.
im excited to see him.
but also sad because i hafta say bye. :(
when you think about it,
7 dayz isnt really that long..
but i love him so much,
its gonna be really hard
not talking to him a lot or seeing him.
ill miss him so much.
i already do.
i feel like
i <3 you, and i need you.
i hada ½ day today.
jake's on, but he's away.
nice away message sweety :)
i hafta go tanning in a little bit.
im def. gonna be tan from florida
so i dont see why i hafta go to a booth.
im weird like that sometimes.
jake made fun of me.
he told me i can't rap.
i know i can.
we gon sex every day
but when we sex we tease
in a passionate way
i love the way you touch me
those little elaborate ways
yes you know i'll die for you
and yah know i'll ride with you
i will always try with you
and give yah my love and cry with you.
*<3 yah jakey.
i feel ya love for me baby.
|Monday, April 14th, 2003|
i have no idea why..
but im very hyper right now.
kinda horny too.
wheres jake when yah need 'em?
oh well, staceys on.
she'll do for now..
rachel - i love you so much :D
i love sitting next to ashley in eng. nd ips.
it's so great.
haha mr. devine says she looks like one of the olsen twins.
now that was just hil.
ahhh.. im too horny for my own good. i hate this.
i really miss hearin
baby its gon be okay..
<3 u alwayz.
upp -and- downn
i just wanna be cool like you mel-nee..
ans303: i know im just sexual
that just made my day. i love this girl.
so what, im drunk.
|Sunday, April 13th, 2003|
last night was crazyy.
me and stac made up :D
thank god, i love her.
she went out with christal though.
so we couldn't hang out.
me and alex went over jake's house.
we went to church with him, mark, and drew.
it was pretty fun.
we saw pj there.
i hate jake and pj.
they made fun of me and said i looked stupid
cause i wanted to put my moneyz
in the collection basket.
so we went back to jake's house
and played an intense game of uno.
i won all bragging rights, thank you very much.
marks wicked cool..
he's never actually talked to us before last night.
jake's mom made a HUGE spaghetti dinner thingy.
it was really yummy.
later on, cory came over because he went to a wedding
or a party, i don't remember.
we went to the harbor and went food shopping.
haha, technically not.
we walked around for a while,
than we went back to jake's house.
anyways, i know me and jake had a good time.
jake, you know what im talkin bout ;)
Pay yo Fare 6: but i know in the end she was satisfied
i love yah jake.
im out. later.
l i n d s
|Friday, April 11th, 2003|
im in study.
rach is in study with me.
she's soo cool.
she makes fun of me,
but shes cool.
im cooler though.
rachel wants to get busyy..
ashleys here too.
she usually cuts class to visit
nic <3. she wants his ass,
if yah know what i mean ;)
she's a funny kid.
she thinks ugly kids are sexy, though.
but thats okay.
nic is hotttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
she's kinda scary.
jake's coming over tonight.
should be a great time.
just kiddin jakey, you know i love yah.
|Wednesday, April 9th, 2003|
everyday is the same
when looking straight ahead.
caught in the safety of routine.
i lose myself again,
and if only for a moment do i
truly feel this way,
then suddenly it all becomes
something of worth to me.
and here i will stay with four walls around
my heart in a room that won't betray.
now that i've gone too far,
this escape has caught up with me.
they all realized that i stopped caring
so long ago that today
was only taken for granted;
and tomorrow's just one more
that i believe i deserve.
spent too many hours in this room,
leaving the world outside my door.
in failed attempts to forget about,
being frustrated with myself.
one last time,
i will watch the sun
go down from this window.
and i won't wait for a better day
to walk from
all it ever was that.
i had given up on this road.
one last step
and i will soon be gone.
it's hopeless now, so hopeless to forget that there's no one here for me.
because i can't be all the things i want to be without you.
and i'm waiting for the day when i'd be with you
forever it will be, a dream that's always short of true
when you're the only one i see, who truly keeps me here
but all you've left me is alone.
and you make me think
everything was wrong
and everyone, except for you.
love yah ta pieces jakey :D
|Sunday, April 6th, 2003|
and tonight, i close my eyes and dream that he
is still the one, laying there beside me.
i'd walk a thousand miles,
i'd swim across the sea.
what do i have to do,
please just tell me.
last night = one great time.
hung out with
alex, stac, jake, fred, cory, jenny, and ashley.
they're cool kids.
jake gave me his sweatshirt.
it says his name on the sleeve.
it makes me happy.
i love alex.
ans303: For better or worse i’ll always choose you first a best friend is a hand to pull you up from despair when your other so-called friends put you there after all that we been through it comes down to just me jake and you, you need me and I will always need you
^ whatta sweetheart. :D
so close your eyes and sleep to dream
i'm by your side the words to speak
will set our course and make it through
no matter how far i go,
no matter how much this hurts
i wanted you to know my heart remains with you
what would you say if i asked you not to go
to forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
would you take my hand and never let me go
promise me you'll never let me go
and the stars aren't out tonight,
but neither are we to look up at them
why does hello feel like goodbye?
these memories can't replace,
these wishes i wished and these dreams i chased
take this broken heart and make it right
i feel like i lost everything when you're gone
left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
i thought you should know,
you're not making this easy
i never thought i'd be the one to say
please don't, please don't leave me.
<33 i love you so much jake.
|Saturday, April 5th, 2003|
ive learned that goodbyes will always hurt
pictures never replace having been there
memories good and bad will bring tears
and words can never replace those feelings..
i love you jacob.
who am i? another girl wasting
all my stupid thoughts wondering
why still i shut the door but i
want more can't help but stop
to think the world about you.
last night kinda sucked.
the only good part about it
was being with my girls.
stacey, alex, and justine.
i love you guys.
i didnt really feel good.
didnt dance that much.
he was mad at me.
ide be mad at me too.
stacey is suppose to have
jake fred cory deven me alex and holly
should be a fun time.
i love jake.
i love jake so much.
i love jake more than he will ever know.
jake's a psycho.
i mean, who writes
"i love lindsey"
about a thousand and two times
in their journal?
jake's the one.
the one and only.
he makes me happy.
i love being happy.
i love it when im with him
and when he just lifts my chin
and gives me a little kiss. :D
boy, do i love that.
i love him so much.
its just one more day.
one more chance to get this right.
ill wait for forever.
just to be with you tonight.
|Friday, April 4th, 2003|
sometimes, you just have to let go,
start writing off the effort.
can't you just stop pretending?
could it be that something's changed?
cause nothing feels the same to you.
imagine that.. a world that we just can't understand.
are we messed up?
watched this clock turn around itself a thousand times
and i still can't understand why these words wont change your mind
you can't help searching for lost open eyes
and i once said i would have given my arms to hold you
but i've heard the rain fall outside
if this is for all the times i've hurt you
i've shed so many tears inside
turn my eyes across the room but you never seem to be there
but there you are
if i could cross my heart this last time
just watch you walk away unseen
then i could turn around and know exactly where we are
the world can't understand me broken hearted no one left for me to care for
as these tears stream from my eyes alone i scream aloud
i wish i had the answers, i wish i could tell you one last thing before you go
across this distance
this world just wasn't meant for you
these times are cold and lonely
fortunes found a new home in the hands of misery
if only you were with me cause im all alone here
i hope i make it through the hardest time i've yet to know
for the first time yesterday im on my own
going with stacey
picking up justine.
going to scituate.
hanging out there.
going to a dance at 7.
sleeping over staceys.
that's the plan.
sounds like a fun time.
broken hearts are broken names and there's nothing left to say.
|Tuesday, April 1st, 2003|
am i dreaming? is this really me?
because i've never felt so lonely
and if this could be real right now,
then everyday for the rest of my life,
i will search for moments full of you.
but let's hope tomorrow won't cave in.
cause i'm looking for someone to change me.
and you make me feel so tall, i always want to be this tall
cause maybe, i'll be original. and sometimes, things you say
just make me think in different ways.
so this is my way of saying i could be the one
whose dragged home at night away
from all my hopeless dreams.
inside i realized
im the one confused.
i dont know how i got this way
i know its not alright.
im breaking the habit
i hurt much more
than i ever have before.
its the only thing that
heals the pain.
i dont wanna do no wrong,
but my god its been so long.
i know im so confused.
but im trying,
but im still dying.
say you'll want me,
for the rest of my life.
i don't wanna be like you.
im not cool and ill never be.
thats the art of
tell me what to do.
why won't someone
i love you so much jake.
and im sorry.
ill never find a cure
this is how it ends
|Monday, March 31st, 2003|
sorry i couldn't really update before.
nothing that special happened today.
i stayed home "sick" :P
nahh, my voice was gone.
but its back, no need to worry.
i talked to jake.
but i love him to pieces.
i love jake more, though.
i always will love jake.
although i do stupid stuff..
although he does stupid stuff..
although we will both do stupid stuff..
i will continue to love him.
cause nothing or no one makes me feel like he does..
im so sad when im not with him.
and im the happiest when we're together.
i love you jake, and im sorry im dumb most of the times.
where are you? please, believe in me. i'm not hanging up the phone til i hear you say, "i love you, i need you near." just give me one last chance & i'll never let you down again.. its times like these you learn to love again.
jakey - make sure yah call me, i love you!
* l i n d s *
let's just say i was
haha i love jake though.
he's so cute when he begs ;)
if you only knew what a great time i had this weekend..
ohh boyy.. one of the best times.
lets just say
. i . c a n t . w a i t . f o r . n e x t . w e e k e n d .
okay, i hafta go because jake's gonna call me soon.
i love you soo much jacob!
ill update a little bit later.
|Sunday, March 30th, 2003|
still easy enough to walk away,
harder facing whats in front of you.
id rather watch tv than spend one more night alone.
indecision makes me want to wish that i could see much more.
than all these images these jaded eyes show me.
wont stop hoping for someday you'll meet me there.
when i saw you saturday i closed my eyes and you ran away.
still dont know if i might get it right
have to walk away, stuck outside with all my fears tonight.
its 3am again thanks for your patience
repeated last night, to watch the harbor ripple in your eyes
and we watched sailboats spoil our view as if we had a choice
knew all along that there was something more inside than distance had it been a test
of my security missed something there but i'd be blind to see you missing me
so footsteps trace our way back to night-time skies
and clouds diffuse reveal your eyes your secretes aren't mysteries
and i would'nt feel so alien if you weren't so me
im just a boy, im lost and confused and distraught from misuse
and i've given up my head for you
because nothings logical so tell my i can't be the things you need
when its you i've need all along and im waiting
because its all on this moment when you'll slip between my arms again
so even if you aren't that way thanks for your patience sleep still i'll watch you sleep
i wonder when i'll stop feeling this way..
im sure use to it.
but i wish i felt something new.
some accomplishment for you and i.
i believe in love.
so i dont see why its so far from where we are..
i wanna let go of the pain i've felt so long.
|Saturday, March 29th, 2003|
last night was wicked fun.
jake, fred, cory, pj, and alex came over.
jake, fred, and cory had some great convos. with my dad.
he likes them a lot.
than we went to west side.
it was great.
than we came back home and just hung out.
jake's so dumb.
he gave me this bracelet.
which makes me feel wicked bad.
he shouldn't hafta buy me stuff :\
i lost my voice. it kinda sucks. this means i cant tell jake i love him. i hope he knows i do.
yeah, im over jake's right now. i love his house.
alex and stac slept over.
than, at like 1:30, my mom drove us to wampatuck.
jon depina and a bunch of other kids were there.
they were mean.
they looked at us for a while.
he's too cool to talk to us now.
im gonna be with jake basically all day :D
that makes me happy.
i love jake.
i dont love anyone else.
i think the used is one of the best bands. but jake doesn't.
you almost made me cry again this time..
im gonna watch myself die.
i dont really know whats left to say..
|Friday, March 28th, 2003|
Were we just broken-hearted when we spent,
the night under the stars? Seemingly, your
eyes focus on me and I wish that I could be...
between all these lines
the print is way to fine to read
could we please retrace a lost design,
so I could fall into your arms just for awhile?
I find myself back where we started.
Dreaming alone, tearing down these walls
That time has built between us.
Coming home has never been the hardest thing.
Were our stars dim when we set sight?
Or were we too lost in each other's eyes to even care at all?
I promise I'd try I'd sacrifice all my time...if I could fall into you for tonight.
I love you so much Jake, you'll never actually really get it.
Thanks for everything, call me.
I love you.
i cant wait for tonight.
jake, fred, pj, and alex are suppose to come over.
at like 10, stac is coming over cause she hasta work.
but i doubt jacob, fred, and pj will be able to get rides.
and then alex wont wanna come.
me and jake are suppose to hang out tomorrow.
something about the harbor, than his house. i dk.
i got my haircut yesterday.
it looks bad.
but it smells pretty. :)
i really hope i see jakey tonight.
i miss him a ton.
plus, i have his necklace.
and i know he doesnt trust me.
he probably thinks ill lose it.
haha nahh i would never.
i worked on my lab all day yesterday.
i talked to jake for like 15 minutes.
than i slept.
i sometimes like rap.
it can get annoying sometimes.
but its cool i guess.
i hate it when people watch the micheal jackson "we are the world" video.
its so stupid.
jake's probably the only person i know that likes that video.
i think what he loves about the video is that he knows i hate it.
i beg him to stop watching it, but he never does.
michael jackson is not the world.
jake's my world. no way michael jackson comes close to that.
girrrl...it's easy to love me now.
would you love me if i was down and out?
would you still have love for me?
- 50 cent is so cool. he's sexy too. :D
i gtg to chorus now, although singing with a soar throat is gonna be kinda hard.
i love you jacob, call me when you get in.
* l i n d s *
standing in the shadows
evil thoughts inside your head
it took an extra something
to keep you from feeling so bad
but when you rose above it
and everything was sinking in
you had me thinking thoughts
that i never thought i'd think
spaced out little dreamer
float along and disappear
you made me swallow something
my pride or was it my fear?
stumbled into my room
you poured yourself into my heart
i thought i saw it all
until you tore it all apart
this dream of yours
all bent and blurred
you had your chance
you blew it
this dream of mine
so far behind
i might as well be silent.
|Thursday, March 27th, 2003|
its only lies im living
its only tears im crying
its only you im losing
i guess im doing fine.
no time to explain.
lets just leave it at that.
i had a horrible day.
i hope tomorrows better.
alex is coming over.
maybe we'll go to stop and shop.
rent some videos.
stac is coming over around 10.
they're sleeping over.
wake me inside, call my name and save me from the dark.
i've been living a lie.
im nothing inside.
ill wait for you there,
like a stone.
Blurty for l i n d s.