|Subject:||A survey from my friend Trish :)|
Five details about you...
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1. My name is Jennifer, but really I'm just Jenn.
2. I wear contact lenses and glasses (sometimes).
3. I'm on the shy side.
4. I don't like math.
5. I'm a college sophmore.
Five details about your appearance right now...
1. I am wearing a light blue shirt with a wolf on it.
2. With blue pants that resemble denim, but they aren't.
3. I have on blue slippers.
4. I'm wearing my contacts...
5. and no make up! Ahhh!
Five things you did yesterday
1. Studied for my math test
2. Finished my lab questions
3. Talked to Trish and Thea
4. Read 'A Natural History of the Dead' by Ernest Hemmingway
5. Walked for 40 minutes
Five memorable things you did in the last year...
1. Started college
2. Saw Hanson @ the China Club
3. Met the Goo Goo Dolls
4. Got contact lenses
5. Reconciled with an old friend
Five favorite groups/artist
2. Goo Goo Dolls
3. Matchbox Twenty
4. John Mayer
5. The Calling
Five favorite movies...
2. Gone With the Wind
3. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
4. Where the Heart Is
5. Hunger point <--come on, we all have to like one Lifetime movie ;)
Five things that make you happy...
1. My friends
2. Music and my musicians ;)
3. Times when I am free to have fun w/o thinking about school *lol*
4. My sis
5. When good things happen for my favorite baseball player :)
Five things that impress you...
1. People who stand up for what they believe in
2. Those who can say things we are all thinking, but never knew how to say
3. True love
5. Being able to be yourself without compromises
Five things that don't impress you...
1. Ignorant people
2. people who try to ruin things for other people. <---heck yeah
4. People who think they are "real" and are always trying to spot "posers"
5. Eating rats for money ;)
Five things you cant live without...
1. My friends and family
2. My music
3. Vacation time
4. The occasional day of sleeping late
5. Oxygen and water
Five things you'll do when you complete this...
1. Study for math
2. Go talk to my sister
3. Finish looking around online
4. Read some of my geology text book
5. Watch TV
[Spell your first name back wards] = refinneJ
[The story behind your username] = Onlyachoice comes from the Goo Goo Dolls song 'Truth is a Whisper', which is a meaningful song for me. The first line says, "Truth is a whisper and only a choice"
[Are you a lesbian?] = Nope
[Where do you live?] = New York City
[4 words that sum you up] =i am just Jenn. <---right on Trish
[School] = 4 stone buildings, glass walkways, tons of people.
[Wallet] = It's plain black.
[Hairbrush] = It is round, black, and silver
[Toothbrush] = blue and white electronic toothbrush
[Jewelry worn daily] = Earrings, my two rings, and my charm bracelet
[Pillow cover] = One dark blue one light blue satin
[Blanket] = It's steel blue
[Facewash] = Saint Ives Apricot Scrub
[Street] = A line of houses with some trees, a couple of lamposts, and a fire hydrant
[Neighbors] = An old married couple, and an older widow and her niece
[Sunglasses] = They are black, kinda movie star meets the matrix looking *lol*
[Underwear] = They are grey...how exciting *lol*
[Favorite shirt] = My black one with the too long sleeves w/ the lacey looking stuff on them. Open neck with a slit to a not too revealing place, same lacey stuff on that and across the chest
[Favorite pants] = My "cargo jeans" or whatever they are lol
[CD in stereo right now] = "Go" from Vertical Horizon
[Tattoos] = At the moment, none.
[Piercings] = one in each earlobe, and then an additional one in my cartilage in my left ear. <--yeah
[What you are wearing now] = Hey, hey, I didn't change since you last asked me
[Hair] = Down and bleh, but clean *lol*
[Do you like candles] = yup
[Do you like incense] = no!
[Do you like the taste of blood] = Uh, no *lol*
[Do you believe in love] = yup
[Do you believe in soul mates] = yup
[Do you believe in Heaven] = yup
[Do you believe in love at first sight] = maybe
[Do you believe in Hell] = Eh, I dunno, it seems counterproductive, but could be useful sometimes ;)
[Do you believe in forgiveness] = yes i do.
[Do you believe in God] = yup
[Do you believe in the Devil] = Again, I don't know
[What do you want done with your body when you die] = I hate trying to think about this. No option seems all that great. I mean, being burried...ick...But being burned to cinders...also not great.
[What's the best gift anyone has ever given you?] = Love
[What's your favorite insult?] = Um, I don't have one *lol*
[What are you gonna do when you're older?] = Hopefully have fun and be happy
[How many songs do you have on your computer?] = Not many
[What band are you listening to now] = At the moment I'm not listening to anything!
[Look out your window...tell me what you see] = The yard...
|Subject:||A weird rant|
I've been thinking about this for awhile, but since I had occasion to think about it again tonight I figured I'd just get out some of my frustration here.
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I like to go out for walks, but everytime set foot out the door I always have to wonder, will this be a peaceful walk, or not. For you see, some men have this annoying habit of making comments to you as you pass by, hitting on you from their cars, from their bikes, or worse, just walking past you. Some of the will just hollar things like "Hey shorty"; others will look your body up and down like they want to own it. And it makes me ill. I try my best not to notice it, to walk on as if these men are invisible, but it isn't easy to ignore something that makes you more than a little uncomfortable.
I'm not used to this kind of thing; I'm used to blending in with the landscape. Of course it has happened before, I think it has happened to most every girl, especially if you live in a bigger city, at some point, but over the past months I have seen it with increasing frequency. For you see, my appearence has changed over the past year. I've slimmed quite a bit and gotten contacts, and suddenly it seems I am on the rader for these guys. The first couple of times it was somewhat flattering, I hate to admit it, but it is true. I liked that I was looking better and to know that it wasn't some illusion my eyes had created. But now, it just makes me feel so tired.
I'm single right now, but somewhat looking, and I'm not looking for much really. Just a nice guy, sweet, smart, that can make me smile, who will respect me, care for me, and maybe even love me. Doesn't seem like much to me, but I haven't found it yet. Okay, that's fine, these things happen when they are meant to, I understand that. But it gets frustrating to live out this pattern of being hit on because someone likes my ass or my face or my whatever, but that's all. Makes me start to think out crazy, stupid thoughts like, is my personality defective...am I ever going to find someone who gives a damn about that part of me, the important part of me. I know I'm not a bad person, heck I can even be sorta interesting sometimes, but, I don't know, sometimes it feels like it doesn't matter. I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, like a good deal of people I can be a little shy; it is who I am. But it's like no one wants to know that, you know?
I'm not sure if this makes sense. It just seems I've got more than enough of the kind of attention I really don't want...when do I get to stumble across some of that positive attention?
Bleh, I dunno...I think I better just go to bed!
My father can be a really insensitive jerk sometimes. Now is one of those times.
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Earlier I was in my room studying for my math test, which is Monday, when he came up and went in his bedroom. Everything was fine and peaceful until I went downstairs for a few minutes. I was done studying for today (though I still had other homework to do) and wanted to go to the bathroom and take a short break before I started on it. I was gone not five minutes when I could hear the music blasting from his room from downstairs. Okay, yes, I'm gone, maybe he doesn't think I am coming back so he is playing his music. A short while later I return, plop back on the bed where I was studying and and start futzing around with my books.
"Is this going to bother you?"
*turns volume down a smidge*
"Is this better?"
"It's alright, I'm going to go upstairs."
*turns volume back up*
I just wanted to smack him silly. He is completely insensitive to everyone around him. So long as he is happy and getting his way, no one else matters. My schoolwork is important, much more important then him listening to some music while he surfs the web! But he doesn't care, and he is like this with everything and it isn't easy to live with. It doesn't matter what is going on, it is like when he comes into the room everything must stop and begin revolving around him. Doing schoolwork, need to concentrate, too bad, I'm here now and I must play his music or watch a DVD. Watching TV, too bad, give me that remote, I want to put on a movie...oh, we've watched this ten times already...oh you hate this movie, what do I care. This is what I'm in the mood to watch! Oh, were you saving that _________ (insert food item here)? Was that yours? Oh, well, I was hungry. And if you did anything like this to him, forget it, he would be on your back in a flash! I can only imagine his reaction if I turned on music while he was trying to work! I'd be seeing those fangs faster than a cat can blink its eye!
I get so tired of it. He is one of the main reasons I want to move out, I just can't take him. His selfishness and his hypocrisy, it just drives me up the wall. I don't know what is going on inside his head, but it certainly doesn't involve any of us. I try to minimalize conversation with him, but sometimes if I am really excited about something and no one else is around I will tell him about it and you know, over ninety percent of the time if I talk for more than thirty seconds, I know he stops listening. I could launch into a line of drivel and he wouldn't even notice that I was still talking. I've actually stopped what I was saying to him in mid-sentence on several occassions and he hasn't even noticed. But again, if you do this to him, if you aren't listening, or if you don't run right over and show interest in something he cares about he gets angry.
He wants to just take and take and take, but in reality he doesn't really give anything. And I personally can not take that.
I don't know why, but all of a sudden I felt very inspired to create one of these things...I've done it in the past and never kept it up. Maybe this time I will.
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For those of you who don't know me, which would put you in a majority position in the world right now, I am Jennifer, but I go mostly by Jenn. I'm a nineteen year old headcase from New York City. I live in an incredibly trendy neighborhood...I've lived here my whole life and have watched the trendiness spring up around me. Some people hate it, me I don't care so much. It has brought some nice people and some variety to life.
I'm a sophmore at college where I am eventually going to declare an English/Media major. This is my major source of stress in life *lol* But what can ya do, right. I don't have a job yet. I've been looking for one for over a year. I am hoping that I am on the verge of getting hired though; if that happens I'll let you all know.
I guess I could go through my interests, but they are all in my profile, if you are really interested go and check that out ;)
See you around!