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Derek

[ website | I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge ]
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Knight No More Epilogue [20 Nov 2004|06:02am]
[ music | Paalam - George Canseco ]

[firstlsecond]


And so I danced the night away. Amidst the blaring sounds drowning out the crowd, and the sight of merrymakers, boys in the arms of boys. Hugging, kissing, belonging to each other- though some only for the night. A concoction of lucid dreams and vivid reality assaulted my senses. I was intoxicated. Perhaps I drank a little bit to much. What followed was the clarity that you could only experience in this particular state of mind. I took a step back and saw the entire picture for the first time. And then I saw the the nonchalant, beautiful face of the solution staring soulfully at me, like he'd been there all along..

And so the outer shell found its rifts and finally broke open. And, after a long, long while, a smile once again formed on these lips.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its an ironic coincidence that the day of my farewell witnessed the passing of one of the country's finest composer/artist/treasure. I pay tribute to my most respected Filipino composer. Before there were any Ryan Cayabyab, any Louie Ocampo or Vehnee Saturno, they were all awestruck by the sheer talent of Mr. George Canseco. His songs chills the bones and melts the heart. The message it contains still ring true up to this day. I've learned how to love and love profusely because of him. I tip my hat off to you, my good man.

This is the last post I'll be putting up for this account. Everything at one point or the other evolves into a form never imagined. We live, we love, and we move on. All the world is a stage, so they say. And so the curtains must fall for this blog. Its been a good (almost a) year for me. The memories will forever be cherished. Adieu, adieu. To you, and you, and you. I still, I WILL, write again. Although this time in another pseudo nom de plume. See you all in 2020.
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Knight No More part 2 of 2 [19 Nov 2004|11:50pm]
[ mood | celebrating ]
[ music | Life For Rent - Dido ]

Continued

J.R (the male exotic dancer) from the last post. is a paradox. Throw him in a crowd of snobby hoity toity rich kids, and he'll completely blend in. Porma wise and looks wise he'd pass off as your boy next door (although, buff the BND a bit). He doesn't opt for those cliche-ic (and highly tacky, I must add) muscle shirts that you've come to expect. And he was well mannered. Just an honest man in a not-so-honest profession. With all due respect, he changed my perception of how I see people like him.

We then drove off to Astoria in Ortigas. Irritation of all irritation, the groom wanted to see the bride before the shower and was got a little bit of jelly jelly symptoms because he knew what a Bridal Shower entails. So we had to wait till he is completely out of the room and all the girls stopped giggling like moronic teenagers before we let J.R. do his thing. Suds, check. Cake, check. Wine, check. Cuffs? Check!

chartreuse.And you must be thinking, how it was like? Well, gay as we are, we do not go for that kind of entertainment. And besides, this is a Bridal Shower. We just let the girls have their fun. We just hoped that J.R. doesnt come out black and blue. And while we waited for the two hour show to finish, we explored the Astoria complex. There was this bar at the ground floor but its pretty lame because nobody else was there. So we decided to hang out by the pool. It was on the 3rd floor along with the gym. It was pretty standard. But having the moon out and you can see the stars while you lounge serenaded by the lapping sound of the water, it was worth it all. We talked about everything that we've been through since we last saw each other. We talked about life, love, sex. Oh yes, we talked about sex. You could almost hear the water in the pool sizzle. Miss Hawaii, suggested that the next time we have these little steamy chit chats, we should tape it and send it to that gay oriented show on T.V.

The signal we were waiting for at the 2nd hour did not arrive. Aba, biruin mo ang mga gaga ay nag enjoy! They must have asked for an overtime. We have a ton of stories left anyway, out of sheer boredom to go up to the roofdeck of this building. Just as we were heading out, we spied on 3 straight-acting-yet-reekingly gay guys (who so happen to be cute) going the same way. When we got to the top, lo and behold the 'wonders' we saw. And so it was revealed to us that the other function of the Astoria roofdeck and stairwells, were make out places for people like us. Hmm..they could make a killing by charging for these.

I wanted to dive in the action, but the SMS from the girls arrived. I later found out that it was a part of the bargain to ferry the performer back to his, uhm, office. I was just wondering when I asked him if he's tired at all because he still looks like he's fresh out of the showers. "Sobra." Wow. He's dead tired and still looks like that. I was just stopping myself from using Miss Japan's "Bruha, you have got to refer me to your derma..." line.

Going back to the bar triggered indecent pictures in my mind of what used to be. Been there, done that. Truthfully, it was fun but it wasn't worth it at all. Come to think of it, I've lived a full homosexual lifestyle and I'm at the plateau of the whats next phase.

+°+°+°+°+


Apparently, Miss Japan wasn't satiated yet so he invited us to his friends house in a respectable area in New Manila. I've never been to this place that much, just passing by one time or another. I've always thought that all the filthy rich people were huddled in Alabang or in Makati, but I was wrong. It was a long ride but when we got to Enzo's house it was well worth it. Can you say loaded? Coming from a line of chinese semi-tycoons, this boy sure knows how to live the high life. Enzo was really amiable, but he has this very strong personality that almost deters him from speaking about anything else that he doesn't fancy. That's what they said, but I don't know, with me we immediately clicked. I can really sense the friction between him and Miss Britain (maybe because like poles repel each other). I was just shocked when Miss J asked Enzo in a sultry voice:

"So, wheres the action?" Which was met by Enzo doing something I never saw coming. Enzo just flipped his phone dialled a few numbers talked to a few guys and that was it. Like the calm before the tsunami arrives, we waited. And in a matter of a 30minute time span, his friends started arriving. Need I even mention that they are all guys?

So this was what the japanese princess was referring to. There must be at least 10 guys who arrived. Obviously, they were just from around the village. And obviously they have something planned up for the night. "Are you kidding?" Was all I could ask little miss anime. "AT THE SAME TIME?" I don't know. Its just me, but that is waaay too kinky for my taste. Although the feast was spread in front of me, I had to pass up on supper. I could imagine me and this one guy in the room doing something our mothers won't approve of, I can even picture me and 2 of them, and thats already stretching it (no pun intended), but no. Just no.

Miss B noticed my slight hesitation and whisked me off to another room. I told him, let's go someplace else. Maybe Malate. And Malate it is.

Little Ms. Hentai and Ms. Coconut-lover got a bit of a guilt trip and decided to tag along with us. As much as my imagination would be envious of this boy Enzo and his harem of beautiful boys, I'll leave it just at that.

I just wanted to dance the night away.
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Knight No More 1 of 2 parts [19 Nov 2004|04:13am]
[ mood | celebrating ]
[ music | Life For Rent - Dido ]

I love sunsets. Just looking at the red glow of the sun basking the sea..ahem, the melancholic prose again. Well, the farewell entry shouldn't start like that. It lacks the oomph that posts like this deserve. This is officially my 200th post. Whew, I've written that many already? Well, if you count the inane amount of ramblings then yes. But how I've wished I've written down more events in my life that deserved writing down. Of love found and love lost. But I guess that is just not my style. So to throw a mega-goodbye bash, let me start again...

Its about time.The last weekend had been such a blast. I've spent it with the most eccentric yet highly interesting bunch of people on the planet. And yes, they were as gay as the color chartreuse. They prefer to be called by the country they dream of representing one day. So for anonymity's sake, I went out last Saturday with Miss Japan, Miss United Kingdom (a.k.a. Great Britain), and Miss Hawaii (yes, its not a country, but he prefers to represent this little island because of its tropical beauty). And with such a diverse group of queens, you'd come to expect that a night with them would turn out a highly raucous ball. And no words could ever ring true-er.

I was the youngest in the group. Being so, the most "innocent" as they put it. It started as an out of the blue yayaan. With these people, you never know what to expect. Miss Great Britain (great, due to his large girth and a very "caucasian-ish" countenance) called me up around 2pm, rousing me from my slumber.

"Get dressed. Were leaving in 30mins." I like 'em aggressive. So, I dutifully propped up these aching muscles (fresh from a night long shift) and fixed myself up. I've met him early on in life and yet I've managed to lose track of this personage in aimless wanderings to discover myself and what I want. He's one of those people you look up to when you were still a little preppy in high school. Miss Great Britain was one of them jocks in school (sounds a little bit off, no?). Popular, intelligent, athletic and goddamned beautiful. One of those people whom I'd never think of associating with, let alone coming out, down the road. But then we got introduced and the rest they say is history.

And sure enough, 40 minutes later he arrived at my doorstep with that sheepish grin on his face. "30 minutes my ass, I knew you'd be late." I smiled back. He drove me to the mall first. My favorite city. He wanted to shop for clothes that day. I didn't ask for what reason anymore. I knew, he had just broken up with his long-time beau. (alas, the fate of the world). He took me to stores I didn't even know existed in this city. And we ended up buying most stuff from Springfield in Greenbelt 3. (I love his taste).

emerge.I was dead tired by the time we're through and come to think of it, we didn't even have lunch. So for compensation, he treated me to Chef d' Angelo in Glorietta. This place is deeeevine. I've never thought pasta could be this good. It's better than Italliani's without the highway robbery price tag. And they have these pastries to boot. Try their cheesecake. Any cheesecake. We tried them all. And just when I thought the day was already over, he mentioned that we are still waiting for somebody else. Miss Japan.

Miss Japan arrived on the dot. Like some wicked queen from the east he has this air about him that screams taray all over. Add to the fact that he has these delicate features that make him pass as a girl. There was this one time a long way back, we were both in the washroom when a man enters and upon seeing Miss Japan, profusely apologized saying he entered the women's washroom. In the midst of stifling a laugh, I told Mr. Doubtfire that he is in fact in the right place.

Complaining that he is still up for some after-lunch treats, we headed out to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (now try saying that over and over.) There was this cute guy across the room staring at our table. We were of course debating under whispers who he's eyeing but I knew for a fact that its definitely not them. (HA!) Natorpe lang ako. Oh well. Oh, and just a little trivia I recentlly acquired from Mr. de Guzman. (yup, if you've been reading my entries all this time, I prefer to call my exes and the people I've dated by their surnames) the owner of Starbuck's was a barrista boy at Seattle's Best and the owner of Seattle's Best was a barrista dude at Coffee Bean And Tea Leaf. So this place was the progenitor of it all. Now which one is more ubiquitous nowadays? It boggles the mind.

Our coffee table exchanges were only broken up by a text message coming from one of our long lost "compatriot".

"Guys, you have GOT to help me out." muttered the island diva. "I'm in deep shit right now and I need you to accompany me." It turns out that Miss Hawaii was delegated to provide the entertainment to his officemates' Bridal Shower. He scoured the Metro to look for a "Pink" bar and look for an, aherm, male exotic dancer. When we got his SMS he was actually outside the bar waiting for the feature presentation to arrive. I decided to call him up and it was very obvious in his voice that he was very anxious. This was actually his FIRST time to go inside such an establishment. And he was having butterflies about fetching the, aherm, exotic creature by himself. He told me he might not be able to control his urges.

"Loka" was all I can say. Miss Britain, decided, what the heck? The night is young and we are younger. He snatched the phone from me and told Miss Hawaii, "We'll be there in 30 minutes. White Bird, right? I know where that is." with a matching wink and a mischievous smile to us.

We literally flew from one city to the next. 52 minutes later we arrived at the hotspot. We almost didn't recognize Miss Hawaii standing by the entrance. Aside from gaining a few pounds and beefing up, he was immaculately flawless.

"Bruha, you have GOT to refer me to your derma." quipped Miss Japan. Ms. B and me just snickered in the background. I missed this guy a whole lot. He was my org mate in college, which was kinda odd because he was in Engineering and I was in Business. But we clicked the moment we got to talk. He confessed to me one night that he is- at that point in his life, no matter how high my eyebrow will fly off the roof- is still a VIRGIN. And being the bearer of this unfortunate news, I made it appoint that I'll introduce him to an acquiantance. And what do you know, on the first night that they've met, Miss Hawaii was as wantonly starved as the cat on the cold tin roof. .Now its for Real.

"Ladies, let me introduce to you J.R. (whispers: not his real name). He'll provide the, um er, entertainment for the night." And our jaw fell.

-end of part 1.

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Frases Del Dia [10 Nov 2004|05:32pm]
[ mood | fuming coz i dont have a TIN # ]
[ music | you could qoute me on that... ]

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. ~Lynn Lavner


Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children. ~Sam Austin


Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. ~Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524


If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." ~Robin Tyler


Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many... consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality. ~James Baldwin


Did you hear about the Scottish drag queen? He wore pants. ~Lynn Lavner


I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant. ~Paul Newman


From various bumper stickers: My sexual orientation? Horizontal, usually. ~ I can't even think straight. ~ Let's get one thing straight, I'm not. ~ Straight But Not Narrow ~ Closets are for clothes. ~ I'm not a lesbian but my girlfriend is. ~ I'm not gay but my boyfriend is. ~ Equal rights are not special rights. ~ Homophobia is a social disease. ~ Pink Sheep of the Family ~ Gender is a sex toy.


You are digging for the answers until your fingers bleed, to satisfy the hunger, to satiate the need.... And as you pray in your darkness for wings to set you free, you are bound to your silent legacy. ~Melissa Etheridge, "Silent Legacy," Yes I Am, 1993

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My Life As Cards [10 Nov 2004|06:40am]
[ mood | clairvoyant ]
[ music | Somewhere in Time ]

wonder what it holds? My first brush with mysticism. I had my Tarot read by quinnzap's housemate, and seer extraordinaire, Paul. I don't really believe in Divination and anything to do with the occult, however there are times, when you could swear it almost hits the nail on the head. Is it mere coincidence that cards fall the way they do? The Page of Swords, The High Tower, The World, The Empress..these are just some of the cards that were laid out on the table for me. Paul said that it was such a peculiar arrangement of cards, that the Arkana (pardon my ignorance of the terms) have an abnormally high value. This is the part where I got shivers down my spine. Since we are virtually strangers up to that day, Paul was able to sing my life out with his words. (Roberta Flack, I feel you..I feel you.) At that point, at that single moment, it is the fate that will be read out to you by the seer. It defines you, who you've been and who you will be for a length of time. Now whether you chose to find meaning and coincidences in your life that seems to resemble what he is reading, or just utterly have an indifferent mind and just pass it off as mere stroke of luck, is completely up to your discretion.

He's good. Real good.
Have I mentioned that he doesn't charge for the reading? Just the promise that you'll bring food the next time you drop by their pad?

And in today already walks tomorrow. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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You See Tomatos, I See Tomatoes. [09 Nov 2004|08:06pm]
[ mood | bloody ]
[ music | ....the color of desire... ]

Karate's Tomatoe Squash

Saturday. My Favorite City.


A day just like any other -only I could feel that there is wind is blowing differently. Like static caught up in a single mass of energy. Here I was, on my usual after-shift romp down the sights and sounds of my Beloved City, walking with a group of friends when something caught my eye. A little boy playing on the open atrium ground. Bawling his lungs out. His shirt, his hair, guess what color it is?

Red. I accompanied my friends in checking out this condo unit that they are eyeing for quite a while. Its a real steal. Imagine a sprawling 3-Bedroom unit for a very, VERY reasonable sum. And its right in the heart of the City-I-Love. And I can't help but notice, the color of the agent's blouse and fingernails.

Red nails. We headed out for a scrumptious lunch at our fave resto-slash-posh karaoke-in one (I swear, this karaoke is a restaurant in disguise! The food is to die for!):

Red Box. Out of a whim, we decided to have a haircut at Fix. jenlikewhoa decided to take the plunge. Having her hair long most of her life, she decided (after teensy provocations from yours truly) to go short. Well, not short-short. Just short enough. And then the Lord said it was fabulous. Oh and did I mention what color I saw being applied to one of the patrons during that bustling day in the salon?

Burgundy Red. All the more reasons to love My City: We now have an official replacement for Greenhills. It this little place called MCS. (Its not really little). A normal, albeit ageing, mall on the first 2 floors, yet a bargain hunter's paradise on the 2 basement floors. Here, you'll find the refugee vendors from the Greenhills raid. Here is their new safe haven. And I couldn't have any objections to that. I was looking for a single movie out of the multitudes of options. Highly recommended, highly praised, don't watch-it-for-the-story-but-for-the-beauty-of-it movie,

The Red Shoes (1948). Now we headed back to Greenbelt 3 to catch a movie. I didn't like the selection this week, however I seem to have underestimated one. Believe it or not, The Incredibles is a really good movie/animation. Its fresh, but its not original. Its fun but its not over the top. Its funny, but its...well, its funny. Elastigirl was worth the prize of admission. I just wished they had individual costumes instead of...

Red Spandex. Now to top it all off, when we've emerged from the dark recesses of the movie house, we decided to take a walk in the mall while we waited for another friend to pick us up and drive us off to Q.C. for another night out. Straight out of Pleasantville meets the Twilight Zone spin-off, we emerge in a throng of people. A thick crowd going to and fro. All minding their own business. This day will torment my sanity till years to come. A mass of people. Each wearing something, carrying something, eating something, in the shade this post was all about...

I was wearing buffalo-brown. I should have read the memo.
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Ennui In My Eyes/Prologue to the Travel [05 Nov 2004|12:09pm]
[ mood | rendezvous mode ]
[ music | Here I come.... ]

I have gotten a lot of comments regarding the apparent 'lonesomeness" in the previous avatar. I admit it came as a surprise for me, getting such reactions. To evoke a glimpse of despondency was not in the original plan. But I like it. Must be the eyes.

+ô+ô+

The eyes. Orbs that are growing tired of what it had seen and what it still percieves around it. Must be the creeping over-familiarity to the sights of this bustling Metropolis.

The year next, it would all change. I am resolved to take advantage of the boon that il padre mio has bestowed upon this foolish boy. He had opened up the avenues to the world for me.

I'll leave it as a glimmering sigh as of now. Before I can breathe in the colors of foreign soil, I would have to battle local red tape and trudge the roads to the embassies to get me access to their lands.

The world's so near. I can almost feel it in my veins.

"To dream", he continued, resuming the tone of his desultory conversation, as he held up to the rich light of a censer one of the magnificent vases --"to dream has been the business of my life. I have therefore framed for myself, as you see, a bower of dreams. In the heart of Venice could I have erected a better? You behold around you, it is true, a medley of architectural embellishments. The chastity of Ionia is offended by antediluvian devices, and the sphynxes of Egypt are outstretched upon carpets of gold. Yet the effect is incongruous to the timid alone. Proprieties of place, and especially of time, are the bugbears which terrify mankind from the contemplation of the magnificent. Once I was myself a decorist: but that sublimation of folly has palled upon my soul. All this is now the fitter for my purpose. Like these arabesque censers, my spirit is writhing in fire, and the delirium of this scene is fashioning me for the wilder visions of that land of real dreams whither I am now rapidly departing." ~The Assignation E.A. Poe
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Portable Behaviour [05 Nov 2004|06:42am]
[ mood | infuriatingly pining ]
[ music | i like it, i like it, i really, really like it... ]

What a horrendous day in the office. Post election day, democrats and liberals running rampant. It was such a misfortune, of all people, I got to talk to you. But I had a grand time. It was such a breeze whittling you down and your debilitating logic.

Is it such a bitter pill to swallow that my vocabulary is vastly superior to you?

To you, you damned racist.



On a lighter note. This will be a part of my Christmas *wishlist (assuming that I can import)


The Playstation Portable (PSP) It plays videogames (duh!) and a whole slew of other goodies: it has USB 2.0 and 802.11b (Wi-Fi!) wireless LAN, plays movies (full length one, I would just like to add), store pictures from digital cams (aherm, *evil maniacal laugh*), AND it plays MP3's (with storage devices -Memory Sticks- that go up to 1Gigabyte!). It can do everything except perhaps play itself.

I'm buying the hype.

(hmm..a x-mas *wishlist entry. must come up with one preetty soon)
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Currently: Poe [04 Nov 2004|07:00am]
[ music | Sonnet-Silence ]

There are some qualities–some incorporate things,
That have a double life, which thus is made
A type of that twin entity which springs
From matter and light, evinced in solid and shade.
There is a two-fold Silence–sea and shore-
Body and soul. One dwells in lonely places,
Newly with grass o'ergrown; some solemn graces,
Some human memories and tearful lore,
Render him terrorless: his name's "No More."
He is the corporate Silence: dread him not!
No power hath he of evil in himself;
But should some urgent fate (untimely lot!)
Bring thee to meet his shadow (nameless elf,
That haunteth the lone regions where hath trod
No foot of man,) commend thyself to God!

Not Susan's Hands

4 comments|post comment

I Can't Stand To Fly [03 Nov 2004|06:35am]
[ mood | like a little girl - quivering ]

Brandon, my Brandon


Lift me up.
10 comments|post comment

Contemplating the Styx [02 Nov 2004|11:35pm]
[ mood | - - - ]
[ music | Ferry Across The Mersey - The Pacemakers ]

czakeyso, kung ayaw mong tumanda at ayaw mong mag ka wrinkles, maging walang silbi at maging chaka, ibig sabihin siguro aywa mong tumanda?
onion_knightas ive said,
im going by 30.
off in a blaze of light ;)
czakeydon't say that during these times. all souls day ngayon. with that comment you top the list of my most eccentric friends. let me know if there is anything I can do during the funeral. do you want me to do the eulogy? or maybe i can be the the only heiress in your last will and testament. basta sa akin dapat mapunta ung digicam at ung MP3 at lahat ng mga shirts mo. hehehehe
onion_knightyup. you'll be one of the top heiresses. muah.


All Souls Day. Have you ever thought about where the spirt goes after it leaves its corporeal shell? Does it go back into a blinding light, off to a higher plane of existence, or does it just remain. Earthbound for all eternity. Paying for who it has been? We all have sought to claim the spotlight for ourselves during our mortal existence and wouldn't it be the fitting reparation for our wandering souls to remain intangible, diaphanous caricatures of the former glory?

For me, they linger on. Sometimes I ponder, do earthbound spirits have the better end of the bargain? They have lost all the need for gratification, for approval, for sustenance. An ultimate paradox, they are given eternity only to stand witness the flow and ebb of time, yet in this ageless subsistence they have forgotten their own mortality.

I've always believed that this life would only be a fraction of what was intended. That it would, upon reaching its 3rd decade of careening into telluric pleasures and untimely gains, it will go off in a dazzling blaze of light. Just like that, snuffed like a candle's wick when its glow is no longer needed. Rather than fearing what lies beyond it, I resolved to just have a controlled state of forgetfulness. Each day lived, each decision made is not molded from the last. Living the life given until the appointed date when Charon will row his oars for me.

Oh! that my young life were a lasting dream!
My spirit not awakening, till the beam
Of an Eternity should bring the morrow.
~E.A.Poe
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Crazy 78 [02 Nov 2004|03:52am]
[ mood | loon ]
[ music | Wherever You Will Go - some band ]

This is the official start of November. The longest month of my life ever since I learned to differentiate the dark of night from the incandescence of day. My November starts at the eve of November 1 and ends January 17.

78 days. Everything concurrently happens on these days. A grand scheme of the fates to steer my life into eternal salvation - or malediction whichever way you look at it.

Just 78.

I'm just drawn to this number. Its one of those things that you fancy but you just don't know why.

In time, I'll know. Maybe.



---------------------
end of freak mode. its the waning of the lunar orb, I tell you.

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Happy Phantom [30 Oct 2004|05:43am]
[ mood | spooked ]
[ music | T. Amos ]


And if I die today I'll be the Happy Phantom
And I'll go chasin' the nuns out in the yard
And I'll run naked through the streets without my mask on
And I will never need umbrellas in the rain
I'll wake up in strawberry fields every day
And the atrocities of school I can forgive
The Happy Phantom has no right to bitch


Ooh-whoo the time is getting closer
Ooh-whoo time to be a ghost
Ooh-whoo every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will we pay for who we been


So if I die today I'll be the Happy Phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
They'll be my ticket to the universal opera
There's Judy Garland taking Buddha by the hand
And then these seven little men get up to dance
they say Confucius does his crossword with a pen
I'm still the angel to a girl who hates to sin


Ooh-whoo the time is getting closer
Ooh-whoo time to be a ghost
Ooh-whoo every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been


Or will I see you dear and wish I could come back
You found a girl that you could truly love again
Will you still call for me when she falls asleep
Or do we soon forget the things we cannot see


Ooh-whoo the time is getting closer
Ooh-whoo time to be a ghost
Ooh-whoo every day we're getting closer


The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been


And if I die today
And if I die today
And if I die today
Chasin' the nuns out in the yard



~Happy Halloween everyone! Remember, the dead still walk among us. Just not in ways we think they do. Dead not necessarily in the body but also in the head
OR tragically, dead in the most fragile of all of the human organs (thats why it beats while sheated within a thick, dark cavity. Why they keep on putting it out for everyone to take a stab at, I guess we'll never know.)

So go out, be merry but don't forget the solemnity of this event. Oh and yeah before I go for the weekend, a pseudo-prayer:

Let perpetual light shine upon them,
emmancipating light that would make them feel whole again,
make them feel home again.
and may their weary souls find its peace.
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Word(s) of the Day [30 Oct 2004|02:47am]
[ mood | jovial ]
[ music | Losing My Favorite (game) - The Cardigans ]

Digital Karma - n.
1. same concept as Karma, only this time delivered at the speed you'd never imagine. As they say "Hi-tech na ngayon e.
2. I've actually been witness to this. Beware of office fag hags. Do not, I repeat, do Not cross their paths. Right, Dream? :)

Phishing (FISH.ing) pp.
1.Creating a replica of an existing Web page to fool a user into submitting personal, financial, or password data. —adj.
2. I've almost been victimized by this. Beware the "Citibank" customer verification link.

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I'm In Love With A 300-Year Old [28 Oct 2004|01:35pm]
[ mood | Spastic ]
[ music | I keep coming back to.... ]

I
live,

eat,

breath,


Makati.


The city that has it all. Well except a river to run thru it or a mountain to tower over it, but hey, its the cosmopolitan life at its finest.

at the office outdoor lounge



Wide, open spaces to sit back and relax...









The newly renovated Ayala Museum








Buildings that does not shy to break commonly held standards...











Seattle's at The Paseo Center




Watering holes that calm the wandering souls...








Building namin, PHILAM





Structures that defy the vault of Heaven...








breakfast club: Art, Me, MarkDarkwinter and Onion_knight, and Mackoy's mugshot
And in the midst of it all, BEAUTIFUL people.
15 comments|post comment

Flying Pumpkin and Hidden Daggers [28 Oct 2004|09:04am]
[ mood | floating thru the air ]
[ music | Xiao Mei's Song -Ziyi ]

Psst...Everyone, its thuspakeciriaco's birthday! I know so, kasi Blurty told me. hehe. Happy birthday, girl! Well wishes. :)

+++

Tonight will be the office's Halloween Party. And since in last year's event I'd been a wallflower, this time around I want to partake in the celebration. And I do have a concept prepared just for this.

Try to picture this: raised in the woods, surrounded by evergreen bamboo groves, fed with wuxia martial arts since childhood and learned to master the use of flying daggers. A unique beauty who fell in love with the wind. Sounds familiar? Yup, its from Ambushed From Ten Directions (yes, that's the direct translation of the title in English, not House of Flying Daggers. That was just revised to suit the tastes of picky Westerns)

Yes. I'm dead seriousVisuals? Here you go. I just hope that I get the green textile in time. I already have the rest of the get up. And to match everything, I've prepared my internalizations to boot! I swear to not speak in Tagalog or English the whole night. (Fookien anyone?) I'll be brooding and even feign that I'm blind. I just hope nobody asks me to do that Echo Dance. But who knows?

Let's digress.

"This time I want to become the wind." My favorite Ziyi qoute in the movie. If you have been reading this and saying "what the f** is he talkin' about?" well then you know what to do. Get off your lazy ass and go find a copy of this movie. Its not in the movie houses anymore but I bet the pirates of the carribean have it in abundance. Its not a change-you-for-the-rest-of-your-life movie, but its excruciatingly beautiful. You could take any screen capture from the movie and you can frame it and hang it on your wall.

Well enough about the movie, back to topic.




Whats my motivation? Well aside from the grand prize for the best in costume I heard that this office hottie is doing the same theme. I'm gonna get me some of this. *maniacal laugh*



Legolas, who walks in the land of the Setting Sun.

Takeshi Kaneshiro, bat ka ba ganyan?


I swear to Gowcha, I'm gonna bag that first prize. Otherwise, them judges will be getting daggers in their throats.
24 comments|post comment

Good Tidings [28 Oct 2004|02:14am]
[ mood | brimming with elation ]
[ music | Oh Happy Day ]

The days abound with fresh surprises at every turn. One of my most favorite officemates, Merry, had just been elevated into a higher seat in the echelons of administration. My heart brims with so much pride and joy. Your accomplishment is astounding. To think that you are from one of the youngest batch of representatives on the floor. Merry, it is my earnest hope that you do not forget our happy days as seat neighbors. Now as you start your sojourn into the unknown, always remember that we are here, your compatriots in every endeavor. You have my support all the way. Oh, and lest you forget, I'll keep on pining to you to get an extra duffel bag from your account. It may just be a simple messenger bag or pouch, but Armani is Armani. :)

Art, (or shall we pronounce it properly? Hart. Ü) good to hear that your starting your Spanish courses this weekend. Haga bien y Buenas swerte, mi hombre. Tuloy tuloy na to, and when your amassing an almost illegal amount of wage, don't forget to treat us, ok? :) Btw, welcome to Bloglandia. Although, nasa kabilang network ka.

And to the ever melancholic Dream, hope your ok now. Don't let that inane Friendster testimonial make your day a tad dreary. Remember, that girl is nothing compared to your magnificence and he will realize that soon enough. You're a treasure, she's a dud.
Hugs.

P.S. to my muse, darkWinter.
I must apologize for not making it on time yesterday. When I got home from our gallivanting the day before, I hit the burlap sack with such force. Deep slumber overtook these tired bones. Looking forward to our breakfast on Friday. (I do hope that the money is in by then, otherwise I'll have nothing for our Greenhills escapade. We'll get those Flipflops you've been dying to get since last week.)

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She Takes Me [27 Oct 2004|10:07pm]
[ mood | concieving ]
[ music | It's A Beautiful Day - U2 ]



Unlike THE FORGOTTEN and THE GRUDGE, BIRTH is a superior supernatural story set in Manhattan that is drenched in emotion. Through the skillful manipulation of the director’s use of music, cinematography, scenery, and orchestrated mood, I was often moved to tears. Director Jonathan Glazer, whose first film was the terrific SEXY BEAST, has structured an elegant film rich in subtext and possessing something I admire: A strong, personal point of view.

Anna (Nicole Kidman) is still grieving over the sudden death of her husband Sean ten years ago. She and her wealthy, tuxedo-wearing fiancé Joseph (Danny Huston) live in a huge New York City Central Park West mansion with her mother Eleanor (Lauren Bacall) and her pregnant sister Laura (Alison Elliot) and her doctor husband Bob (Arliss Howard). Apparently Laura and Bob are renovating their mansion. There is also a live-in maid. The only people who do not live in the mansion are Sean’s older brother Clifford (Peter Stormare) and his wife Clara (Anne Heche).

On the night of Anna and Joseph’s engagement party a very somber 10-year-old boy, also named Sean (Cameron Bright), shows up and announces he is Anna’s dead husband. He does not want her to marry Joseph. Even though they dismiss him as a child, Sean starts sending Anna notes.

[Coincidentally, my husband has been getting postcards – hundreds of words of distress crammed on the card - from someone in New York City claiming to be his wife. Unlike Anna, my husband is completely uninterested in entertaining any contact with this seriously disturbed woman. It is I who retrieves and reads the discarded missives from the garbage.]

Sean is so firm in his resolve, and knows so many intimate details about his life with Anna, that she is intrigued. She is reluctant to make a commitment to Joseph and this enigma has conveniently presented itself to deter the marriage. And, what if it really is Sean?

While we might push aside such a silly notion, isn’t Nobel Prize winner His Holiness the Dalai Lama the acknowledged reincarnation of the 13th Dalai Lama? His Holiness was recognized as the deceased 13th Dalai Lama at the age of two. The boy was chosen after he noticed that a rosary one of the traveling lamas was wearing belonged to him. He was given a series of tests that included the choosing of correct articles that had once been the property of the 13th Dalai Lama. In furtherance of this tradition, Gedhun Choekyi Nyima, born in 1989, was proclaimed as the true reincarnation of the late 10th Panchen Lama, the second highest spiritual leader of Tibet, when he was just six years old. In May 14, 1995, His Holiness the Dalai Lama officially recognized Gedhun Choekyi Nyima as the 11th Panchen Lama.

Obviously, it happens.

Glazer collaborated on the story with French writer Jean-Claude Carrière who had worked on two books with the Dalai Lama. The screenwriters, including Milo Addica, leave dogma and theory out of the story. They have fashioned an intensely emotional conundrum: If this kid is indeed Sean, what should Anna do?

Anna becomes interested in Sean because his resolve is charming and intoxicating. She begins to spend time with him. Sean treats her as his wife. The scenes between Anna and Sean are riveting. Joseph, rightly insecure about Anna’s love for him anyhow, starts to unravel. Anna comes to believe Sean is her dead husband come back to life.

What Anna decides to do, and the twist that comes, are quite remarkable. Here is where most films fall apart, but BIRTH does not. It does come to a conclusion but, regardless, it falls to one’s belief in the phenomenon of reincarnation if you accept the film’s resolution. Anna does not, and neither did I.

I know Dr. Ian Stevenson, the foremost scholar on reincarnation. For the last forty years Dr. Stevenson (former head of the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Virginia, and now Director of the Division of Personality Studies at the University of Virginia) has collected scientific documentation of past life memories of children from all over the world. He has over 3000 cases in his files. Many people, including skeptics and scholars, agree that these cases offer the best evidence yet for reincarnation.

However the evidence, why don’t all of us remember?

Kidman is electrifying and has a real, believable chemistry with her 10 year-old co-star. I completely understood her actions as well as the much discussed scenes between Anna and Sean. Anne Heche is equally persuasive and Lauren Bacall has not one, but two, great lines of dialogue that she delivers as the legend she is.

Glazer’s intense focus is mesmerizing. He uses extreme close-ups which unmasks the emotions underneath the characters. His skill as a director is on display here as the menace this young boy brings to an idyllic family, secure in their insular, wealthy world. As Glazer showed in SEXY BEAST with Ben Kingsley’s provocative performance, he can bring out the brilliance in actors. He secures his place as an innovative artist with BIRTH.

Victoria Alexander
FilmsInReview.com


See you at the movies.
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Thank You, India [27 Oct 2004|05:31am]
[ mood | aromatic ]
[ music | That Morisette song ]

Shet, na-aadict ako sa Shawarma.
We went back to Mr. Kebab a few days ago.
Literally, I had a bovine overload.
Its the spices, I tell you.
I damn you, Taratour Sauce.
I castigate you, Tahini!
I fulminate you, Garlic!
I revile you lemon!
Darn you Yogurt! (well, its not a spice but darn it anyway!)

15 comments|post comment

It's Not The Answer [26 Oct 2004|09:09am]
[ mood | taking my hat off ]
[ music | Waiting In Vain -Lennox ]



Pictures of men who died in Iraq.
Hauntingly sad.
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