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Drinking for the fun, Singing for the taste

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[26 Jan 2004|12:12am]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | sugarcult ]

(This is for Kat...)

Wow, library hours definitely suck. Yup, I started the sorority thing tonight, and being as how I'm required to spend 3 hours at the library each week, I decided to get them out of the way early in the week. So, 2 hours down, and 10000000 pages left to read before the gay geography test on Tuesday...But, I did get my poem written for my oral class...
Isantim.
Confident king.
Engorged, bathed, swam.
Made a foolish bargain.
Hippopotamus.

I'm very productive.

*I break for pickles*

Haha, I have these mini pickles, and no fork with which to spear said pickles, so I'm chasing them around the jar with a pen. Wow, I'm waaaaaaay too easily entertained...

Since Andrea and I rearranged the room last night I've been working on decorating my walls all day. Basically, it's just an excuse to flip through magazines instead of do my homework. And, it's working like a charm. But at least my walls look cute.

OK, so there's nothing else, really...

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[31 Aug 2003|08:37pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | "You Suck" murmurs ]

I'm finally, finally back at EMU. And I could not be happier to be anywhere but Blissfield. Hurrah for not being there! But I haven't talked to Chelsea yet, and haven't seen many of my friends from last year, but hey, I'll make new friends, I suppose.

My roomate has already gone out to party, and being as how it's the first night, I'm kinda like "whoa". But whatever, right? It promises to be an interesting year...We have so much in common! Anyway, I'm excited, and just thought I'd update for the first time in forever. So yeah, there ya go...

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We're all a little fragile [15 Jul 2003|09:58pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | "A perfect sonnet" Bright eyes ]

I'm so messed up I can't even put it into words. I don't know if I want to die, I really don't know. But this is hell. This is worse then hell. I'm just gonna give up. It's been so incredibly hard to hang on to this, and in the end I still end up with nothing. I've been trying to hard to work things out, but reality check, it never will. All it ever does is make me feel like crap. What everyone else doesn't know is that I already feel like crap. Wanting the physical hurt, not for the feeling but because I am horribly mad at myself and I want the emotional hurt to end. I try so hard, and I don't think I should have to feel this way anymore. I hate this so much, does it even matter? He can't possibly hurt this much.


But now there's a new pain. I am incredably, terrifyingly alone. I was planning all these awesome things, and the reality is sinking in; forget it. It won't ever happen, and if it does, I'll end up hurting more. to go camping with her, but now I'm going by myself. I hate this. I'm going to cry.

It's all going to hell.

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[24 May 2003|10:28am]
[ mood | crappy ]

Still alive, thought right now, I would wish otherwise...

I don't ever update here anymore. Read my lj.

K

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[06 May 2003|04:01pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Oh God, please tell me what a stupid thing that was to do. Please tell me that you'll take away my car if I "ever pull a stunt like that again". Please tell me what a fucking bad idea it was to begin with. Really, please do. It makes the whole experience of last night that much better. Really, it does. And please don't even attempt to listen to what I have to say. I suppose you don't give a fuck anyway, but sometimes it's nice for people to at least pretend.

How was I supposed to know that the movie was over 3 hours long? Forgive me for not being able to tell these things. I never heard of it anyway, but it's nice to know you think I'm a genius. Well, fuck me in the ass for not knowing.

You think I don't know it was dumb? It was. I never should have went. I went for the wrong reasons, and it ended up blowing up in my face anyway. But it helps make it all better for you to bitch at me on top of it.

Did I make it home alive? Am I hurt? Am I here? Would I have been awake until 3 anyway? Yes, no, yes, and yes. Then what's the problem?

God, why can't my parents treat me like I'm 19 and not 12?

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it's been a while... [06 May 2003|01:12pm]
So it's been a while. But it's been an awesome while. I had a great weekend, that really didn't get started until Sunday night. THE ATARI'S!!!! HURRAH! And The Juliana Theory, they kicked some major bum...It was soooo great. There was this really hot guy that I kept "running into" in the pit....It was totally planned, but definatly worth it...Yum. But it was an awesome show, I can't wait til The All American Rejects! And WARPED! YAY!

So then yesterday, Brandon calls me and wants me to go to Lansing to see him. And, against my better judgement, I went. I know I shouldn't have, which was a fact to be proven later on that evening. Yeah. Yuck. But at least some serious talk time came from it. It was enjoyable, for being the kind of talk that it inevetibly was. I seriously think that I could talk to that boy for a very long time. But no worries, it won't happen anymore. so YAY. But not so much. Oh well.

So, after a very long drive home last night after being very tired, I am at home, well rested, and definatly not ready to start cleaning my room again. Yuck.

I know I left you waiting,
At the least could we be friends.
Should have never started,
Ain't that the way it always ends...
start a riot!

If I told you this was killing me... [02 May 2003|11:53pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | The Juliana Theory ]

why can't you make up your mind
watch your mouth, hold your tongue
some things are better left unsaid
now i hope you're pleased
you let your pride stand tall
it danced within your words right before your fall
why don't you say that to my face
if i told you this was killing me would you stop?


I'm sooo excited for Sunday...The Atari's, The Juliana Theory, Further Seems Forever...Hells yeah...I'm ready!

So OK, maybe I'm getting a little bored. Wait, yeah, I am.

But, I may be looking at a job offer...Hopefully. Sometimes it's nice to have family connections, eh? But the drive to Ann Arbor every morning isn't sounding so hot, but hey, for enough money, I'd be willing to do just about anything...hehe...yes, just about anything...

start a riot!

[28 Apr 2003|11:39pm]
yes, i am still alive.

just plagued with pneumonia.
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Another weird dream [22 Apr 2003|12:05pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Evanescence ]

I just had the worst dream ever. I was still here at school, and I was coming back from a class or something. Before I came into the building, someone outside gave me a bomb and told me to set it off inside. But I couldn't tell anyone about it, or he'd kill me.

So, I'm freaking out. I'm walking past the lounge, and there's 4 or 5 girls in there, including Char. I go in, hoping that someone can help me. I sit down at the window by Char. I put the bomb (which was in a tube of chapstick) down in the middle of the table and get out my book. When Char doesn't look up, I push the chapstick over to her. She looks at it, and doesn't get it. So I make and "I'm-trying-to-light-a-lighter" motion to her, and feel my pockets, showing her that I need a lighter or matches. She still doesn't get it, but asks the other girls in the lounge if they have one. Then, she finally wonders why I would try to set a tube of chapstick on fire, looks at it, and figures out it's a bomb.

At this time, someone from outside (probably the same guy who gave me the bomb) begins to shoot into the lounge. Everyone hits the floor, and suddenly the furniture disappears. The shooting continues, and some of the girls try to get up to see who's doing it. I push them back down, wondering why they are so stupid (shooter, trying to hit us, and here they are, trying to get to the windows?). I also wonder where the hell the cops are.

After a while, it becomes apparent that the shooter is only trying to hit me. Some of the girls are nice and come lay down on top of me, shielding me from the bullets. Then, we hearthe door unlock, and some old guy in plaid pants throws a rock at the wall to distract the shooter, and we all get out. During this whole scene, I hear the Dixie Chicks singing "More Love".

Then, I'm walking down the stairs by myself, and who walks up to meet me? The shooter, Greg Carter. He starts talking to me, but the only think I ask him is "Why?" And I try to hit him. I can't. Apparently, I can't touch him when I'm angry. So I try to smash his head into the wall. But I still can't. So then, I decide to trick him. I'm all flirty and nice, and poor Greg things I'm coming on to him and that he's going to get some action. When he's all relaxed and ready, that's when I grab his head and smash it into the wall. Apparently, this kills him.

Then, just like in old movies, a "The End" screen shows up (isn't that weird for a dream?). So then, I finish walking down the stairs, holding the sweatshirt Greg was wearing (yellow hoodie with "Blissfield" on the front, and 12 on the back, his number), and run into David Rose and some other guy. I ask them when Greg had gone crazy, and they just laughed at me, so I left. In the dream, I kept walking, clutching Greg's hoodie, and missing him.

I woke up crying.


Weird. What I really want to know is why I kept hearing "More Love", when Greg was trying to kill me. And why was that old guy wearing plaid pants?

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[21 Apr 2003|01:33am]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | "Ender Will Save Us All" Dashboard Confessional ]

Conversations with Andy lately have only been going like this:

kovu: too bad u dont like to fool around
kovu111: lol
PuRplE: what?
kovu: nothin
kovu: i forgot i am mad at u anyway
PuRplE: and i don't know why, but ok...?
kovu: for embarrasing me
PuRplE: in front of abby?
kovu: yea i guess u did then too
kovu: its mostly that thats why we're not together bullshit u pulled a few times
kovu:the reason we are not together is because of me
PuRplE: oh, is that the reason? b/c i embarrass you?
kovu: i didnt even write that, so dont be a bitch
kovu: u embarrassed me..
kovu: not u embarass me

My favorite part is when he said "mostly that thats why we're not together bullshit u pulled a few times". Oh, MY BAD, I was unaware that I am the reason we arent together. And it's also nice to know that you think you have all the authority, to tell me that you decided that we shouldn't be together. Because as I recall, I want nothing to do with you on a romantic level. Wait, scratch that, I don't want anything to do with you at all anymore.

Just for clairification purposes:
The reason we are not together is not because you decided that I embarass you. The reason is that you are a bi-polar, depressing jackass who can't think of anyone but himself, and I can't stand the thought of kissing you. I can't even stand the thought of touching you, or being in your prescence. Thanks for the whole week (if for even that long) that I enjoyed our relationship, but it's over because I decided it was.

The end. This time I'm really done. Appologize profusely, but I don't care. Just let me forget I even wasted time trying to make things right.

start a riot!

[17 Apr 2003|06:18pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | "Don't Want You" Lunachicks ]

So I've been packing up my stuff to take all home and MOVE OUT! I'm really excited and junk, yeah.

The weird thing was, last night, Char told me that she was glad that I had been her roomate. I was shocked, I mean, we never really got along. But she was all like "it could have been worse" and blah blah blah. So yeah. It was weird.

And I talked to Brandon last night, and the kid has PNEUMONIA. So awesome, I'm looking forward to that crap. The great part is, we're done, but he's still making me sick, what's that? GAY. Oh well.

So yeah, I'm watching Friends with Jeff tonight, then going home, then I guess I'm hanging out with Audra. Cool beans!

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[14 Apr 2003|12:10am]
[ mood | crushed ]

Only one thing comes to mind...

"It's over, we're over, just like in Crimson and Clover..."

Yeah.

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[12 Apr 2003|10:30pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This" Toby Keith ]

My date last night went very well, the game was good, and Brandon was even better. The tigers lost (surprise surprise), and then we went to dinner (in Toledo...we overshot 96), and came back to my house. He left at 2, and I woke up at 7. That makes today a not so good day.

But, I went to the west side of the state (WEST SIIIYYDE!) to see my baby cousin, and damn, she's cute. So, maybe it was worth it. But I swear, I will never spend a whole day with my grandma or my aunt again, I was going crazy. You know how old ladies are, with their music and stuff...Like the whole way there, we were listening to old old old country crap, like Dolly Pardon and yuck. Not cool. Right now is the first time I've listened to decent music all day. Wow.

But today's downside: Brandon is at prom with his ex. But they're "just friends", and I believe him. But he also told me that she was wanting to get back with him, and I keep trying to think that he wouldn't, because that's what he told me, but there's that little part of me that's saying "They were once, why not again..." But I know he's only going because it was free, and she asked him, and he's a nice guy. However, if I find anything else out, I am prepared to kick some ass. So yeah, that biatch better watch out!

But then again, I got a little confused last night, when he was saying "Honestly, after tonight, this is it...", but then, later when I asked him, he said it was sarcasm...I don't know. I'll believe the sarcasm bit, because, well...He sounded so damn sincere. He's not like that. I hope.

I GOT MY BABY BACK TODAY! Unfortunately, she won't be "my baby" much longer, being as how I am buying a new one this summer. But shhh, don't tell her that, for fear that she will not get me to Ypsi, Lansing, or Waldron. But the later two are contingent upon a certain boy, so...who knows.

Funny note, Matt Lott got arrested for not registering as a sex offender. A SEX offender? Dear Lord, I am so happy that I am no longer dating that kid, or have anything to do with him anymore. Good God, I hope he wasn't like that in 7th grade when we were "going out"...Eww.

And, the last, most important thing ever...ONE AND A HALF WEEKS LEFT UNTIL SCHOOL IS DONE. I am damn excited, I only wish that it was my senior year and I never had to go back again.

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[11 Apr 2003|04:29pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

A HOT BOY IS TAKING ME TO A TIGERS GAME! YAY ME!

start a riot!

So get this... [09 Apr 2003|08:54pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

You know that 3 week thing with Brandon? Yeah, no. More like...3 days. He called me today, and asked me to a Tigers game on Friday. I honestly don't know where he keeps getting this 3 week stuff, especially if he keeps calling me and asking me out. I am so excited. Here I was, all thinking that he was telling me he didn't want to start anything, and oops, he still wants to go out! YAY! So, basically, I'm excited, and he's awesome.

But on his way home on Monday, he did 2 360's on 23, and almost killed himself. Then he goes and says he was doing it "for me", b/c he drove out of his way to come visit. Even though he's full of bull, I felt soooo bad. But at the same time, if he had known it was nasty out, he should have just stayed here. It wouldn't have been a problem, we have the flip 'n fuck he could have slept on. But he's a dork, and didn't, he'd rather kill himself. Whatever.

So, once again, this boy has made me very happy.

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[08 Apr 2003|07:13pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | "It's Not Just Me" Rascal Flatts ]

Brandon update:
So on Friday, he said he'd love to go out again, but that he was busy fot the next 3 weeks, but he'd definitly want to go out.

So yesterday, he came with me to pick up my parents. He came all the way from Lansing to Ypsi, then the 2 hour drive home to Waldron. HE DROVE 2 HOURS OUT OF HIS WAY TO COME SEE ME. I was so happy. And, he was all like "I'd like to be home between 8 and 9. Oh, well, he umm, didn't leave until 12. And that was only because Char came in and decided that she really wanted to use her computer. But OH MY GOSH.

And we were talking. He starts this conversation with "Lets be honest with ourselves here..", which, is not a very good way to start a conversation, if you ask me. And he went on to tell me that no matter what, he is going to North Dakota next year, and that nothing will stop him. So, I was thinking that it was his way of saying "this is nice, but it's not going anywhere", but then he got all nice again, and we were goofy and...yeah. So basically, I have no idea why he had to go bring that up, but it makes me think. I really like the guy, but...North Dakota is really far away. I don't want to knowingly set myself up like that. It's pure masochism.

But, when he left ("You don't have to walk with me, I don't want you walking back all by yourself" AWWW!), he was all like "I'll see you in 3 weeks." I think I'm in trouble. But I seem to be enjoying every minute.

So yeah, this romantic fast. First it was just funny, then, I gave it up for lent, and then it didn't work out for me so well. I thought that Friday would have been a one-night thing, b/c he wasn't going to see me for 3 weeks, and by that time, it would have been past Easter, and I would have been able to do whatever the hell I wanted. But when he came over totally unexpected last night, well yeah. But, I supposedly have 3 more weeks, so...I'll keep working on that...


I am in it deep.

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[06 Apr 2003|12:14pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | "Complicated" Carolyn Dawn Johnson ]

Whoever thought of "Daylight Savings Time" is a huge fucking moron. I enjoy my extra hour of sleep, thank you.

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I promised I wouldn't do this to myself again... [05 Apr 2003|02:16am]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Carolyn Dawn Johnson "I Don't Want You to Go" ]

And then, I had a really really good time with Brandon.

Our rollerblading plans didn't quite work out, so we went to Cabela's instead. Then we got pizza and a movie and came back here and watched it. But we were talking through most of it, so I really couldn't tell you what it was about. He's just such an interesting person, I couldn't help it.

It's 2:16, and he left about 7 minutes ago. He said he should leave like 5 times, but it took him an hour to actually go. I feel kinda bad for him, because he still has an hour drive ahead of him. But he said he'd be OK, so...

I know I'm probably just setting myself up for disaster, but he's so nice that I can't imagine him being anything else but. And I'm definitly really happy right now. I had a really great time, he is such a sweet guy! And he's got to be the most polite person I've ever met. Honestly, the whole package deal isn't bad at all.

You know what he said? He said he wanted me to meet his parents. Wow.

So yeah, Kat, that's why the fast is off. I couldn't help it. Oops.

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I miss lite brights. [01 Apr 2003|05:49pm]
kara
is a
Toast-Eating Zombie Monkey


...with a Battle Rating of 4.0



To see if your Food-Eating Battle Monkey can
defeat kara, enter your name:

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[30 Mar 2003|06:09pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | "Travelin Soldier" Dixie Chicks ]

Oh my gosh, i've had the best weekend ever. For real! Between the meijer trip, sleep, Abby and I being roomates, and Brandon...It's been great!

He called me last night. It was great. After an hour, his phone went dead, and he called me back right away and was appologizing like crazy...It was so cute, he didnt' want me to be mad at him for something he couldn't control....He's such a nice guy...And he might come visit me sometime this week! I'm so excited! But if he doesn't, he said he'd definitly call me. So YAY!

Char just got back, and she's in a great mood. She told me my hair looked really cute...OoO? OK...I don't know what's up, but I don't really give a damn!

Today's only downer is that I have to do a load of studying that I haven't gotten around to doing yet. Crap.

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