Blurty for Lenora.
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Tuesday, January 25th, 2005

Subject:Dum de dum
Time:7:50 am.
Mood: annoyed.
Still have not weighed myself, still cannot do it.
I'll do it when I feel less gross.
Maybe.
It's odd, going from anorexia to bulimia over this past year, it's created this fuck-all attitude.
Maybe I can't deal with it, so I'm dissattaching from it.
I don't even count the calories of what I'm keeping down, which, actually, seems more effective in the area of weightloss anyways.
So all that time I was doing this all wrong huh? (*sarcasm*)..
Today is a weird weird body day. I have to go by my actual body now since I don't know the numbers, not sure if I like this yet.
Well, my arms are huge, oddly enough, because they are the scrawniest weirdest things on my body and always have beem and suddenly they are huge sausage like things I can no longer wrap my hand around and have my thumb and middle finger meet. But my knees are knocking together every step. I give up on you, body. I really do.
Going out today..somewhere. Somewhere mundane that I don't need to be. Average errand-type things all day.
I should really get out of my house, it's been a while..
People amuse me a lot. I am definately a 'people-watcher'.
I always felt privilaged to be on the earth. I think I may really never grow up, everything will always amaze me no matter how trivial or stupid.
It's all wonderful.
I'm such a hippie. Haha.
"Stop walking around with your head in the damn clouds, Ciarra!"
Yeah well sometimes mom, you have to.
--
I want to buy binge food SO BADLY today.
But God, my body wants a rest. I want my body to have a rest.
I just don't know.
These things should make more sense.
Food may win today.
We'll see.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:(Got this from flyonthewall/littlepthing)
Time:8:14 am.
You scored as Eating Disorders. Congratulations! You have an eating disorder! You know what it's like to have "fat" eyelids and that there's exactly 58 calories in one medium-sized green apple. Western society has discarded your well-being for sickly, paper-thin models and celebrities; welcome to the club, sister.

Eating Disorders

83%

Unipolar Depression

50%

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

50%

Borderline Personality Disorder

33%

Schizophrenia

25%

Antisocial Personality Disorder

0%

Which mental disorder do you have?
created with QuizFarm.com


I also just realized that my arrow keys are sticking because they have dried ketchup in them.
And some oatmeal.
Whatever I like the mouse better anyways.

*edit like a half hour later*: Oh yeah and there's more calories in a damn apple than that!
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Subject:Guess what.
Time:1:00 pm.
Food won.
--
I'm becoming very much hands-free..
Please God, don't let me.
That will be scary as Hell.
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Blurty for Lenora.

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