| Hate insane for childrenless |
26th Aug 2003&12:55AM |
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mood |
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discontent |
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music |
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Risutokatta @ Kagerou |
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Here I am. I hate inet. I hate it and that's why I haven't used it in... months?
I hate it. There's nothing good enough to catch my attention, same as TV.
I hate summer. I just stay hours doing nothing. Smoking tobacco. Or marihuana. Or doing whatever.
My life is a waste of time, air, energy.
I'm depressive Kasumi, clouded sky.
I just dream it's gonna rain.
If I have everything people would want to have, then why am I so sad??
I just need a...
I imagine you thought "hug".
I just need something I can use and abuse and rape and hit and kick, something that makes me feel strong and angry and have some fun.
I dream it's gonna rain and I'm out and I'm getting all wet and I catch pneumonia or something.
And then I dream I'm in this empty room and there are people I know tied to crosses like Jesus Christ and I talk to them. I tell them everything is gonna be fine once they're dead.
Yesterday I called again someone I'm molesting. I call her and tell her stuff.
"I'm gonna kill you"
And then I cut. Another call. I don't let her pick it up. Another call, the same.
Other days I call her and I tell her to watch behind her because there's someone willing to kill her after torturing her.
I dunno who she is. A teenage? A young adult?
I just know it makes me feel good to hear someone crying while I tell her how many horrible things I'll do to her.
"And after that, I'll take out your eyes and make you eat them."
I don't know why she doesn't change her number or something like that. Maybe she likes being tortured as much as I like torturing others.
The other day I kicked a pigeon on the street. The other day I saw how a car crushed a little bird on the street.
Why it always seems that things happen "the other day"?
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| Meow Meow |
4th Jun 2003&12:21PM |
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mood |
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high |
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music |
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smoking some joints and weird noises in the street |
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Shirô's gonna buy a cat.
I have spent last days sleeping like some sort of depressive person. Eating only once a day. Well, yesterday I didn't eat. Well I ate some raw fish but that's ok.
Today I'm gonna move or something. Last days have been pathetic, my parents fighting all over. I've been offline very long nd I'm bored.
I'm gonna get a tattoo, eat something good, get sick or something.
Life's wonderful when you kill animals for fun. The other day my grandparents caught a rat in mousetrap and I did the honors of beheading the little bastard.
I've bruises on my knees due to sadomasochist practics. I dunno why but I feel happy, or something.
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16th May 2003&08:11PM |
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Shit... It's all full of blood!!
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| I like the noise that a dog makes when you kick it |
13th May 2003&10:40PM |
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I listened to the new M. Manson CD. My opinion? I didn't fully listened to it, just some of the songs and many not even completelly. They didn't really catch my attention. And I like Manson's works, but this one is dissapointing. This is not The Golden Age Of Grotesque. It's the Golden Age of Decadence.
The songs, in my opinion, are repetitive, lack of good lyrics and tend to be kind of boring because the rhytmical sequences used are rather slow. Feel free to disagree, and I'd love to have other opinions, so please leave comments.
I almost caused a fire in my room today. But I can control fire because I've been burning stuff during years. It's just the room ended full of smoke and it smelled to smoke for a long time.
I feel good. Strange.
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| "I've something stuck in my eye" - "Have you tried with a fork, it always works for me" |
5th May 2003&02:11AM |
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I think I'll skip school tomorrow.
About 2 years ago, is was easy to make people run away freaked out. But thanks to people like Manson and other music groups now it results hard to scandalize people. They're used to everything -almost-.
We had to do an assigment about family in one subject. I made mine about abortion and put a lot of photos of dead babies I got for anti-abortion sites from the web. People in my class wanted to throw up.
In fact, a girl had to leave to the bathroom.
Now things are really different.
The other day I had a fight with some asshole just because I have a red swastika sewed in my black school bag. Swastikas have been used during centuries by many cultures as a good-luck symbol, I told him. In fact, in WWI, the American army used swastikas to decorate their planes, and Coca Cola in the beginning of 20th Century made merchandise in the shape of a swastika. Just because some "bad guys" used swastikas as their own symbol during the WWII doesn't mean I'm one of them. Whatever.
People seem to have a big difficultity to make a difference between aesthetics and ideologies.
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4th May 2003&08:51AM |
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Years ago, when I was in primary school, there was this girl I hated so much. Her name was Karen. I really hated her but I didn't know what to do about it. An adult told me it was bad to hate others. I don't even remember anymore why I hated that girl. Maybe it was because she had a so-perfect life, athletic type, good grades, friends and all that shit. And I didn't. Childish jealously.
One day when I was in my grandfather's house I caught a mouse in a mouse trap. I took care of the mouse for five days, while I collected a few materials I needed for an idea I first had when I saw the little furry animal trapped. Scalpel. Benzocaine. Syringe. When all was ready, I took the mouse and put it to sleep. I opened it carefully and with patience, I extracted the miniature organs.
Next day in school, Karen was screaming when she found a skinned mouse inside her school bag.
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| I like dogs... (it's not what you think) |
4th May 2003&06:04AM |
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mood |
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satisfied |
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music |
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Byou [] Shin @ Dir en Grey |
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Chupy is the dog of my neighbours.
Chupy likes going out for long walks.
Chupy greets you when you pass by.
Chupy barks to say hi.
Chupy is cheerful and moves her tail when she is happy.
Chupy tastes good in stew.
I like dogs. I kill them and eat them.
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