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"More Than Useless" relient k |
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"Something tells me that this is gonna make sense
Something tells me it's gonna take patience"
Get On The Bus was on TCM early this morning so I taped it. Richard is in it. I watched the puck tossed into the Carolina net by Buffalo in first OT, saw all of those nonfunny assholes on Last Comic Standing, saw Robert Patrick looking like a skinny bitch in some dumbass CBS show (don't get me started on the low level of intelligence that channel's got), and watched most of Rescue Me (they'll repeat it). But I couldn't fall asleep until later. I've got my air conditioner in, though, and my mattress was flipped so it feels nice. I had to put the sheets that don't fit on until I clean the ones that do, though. Before, there was a spot in my mattress where I always sat, and the spring started poking up through it. I had to lay on the one side of my bed, which isn't a big deal 'cause it's a double. But the spring ripped a hole in those fly Target (pronounce 'tar-ZHAY') jeans so we were having problems.
I woke up. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I fell all over my bed trying to stay in it. I rewound the tape, washed my face, did my stuff, and looked for Mr Beltzer's parts. (Ha ha.) It's about a bus full of African-American fellows heading to the Million Man March in DC. Of course, most of the movie is made up of racial debate, especially when Richard, Token Old Jew Man, gets on and they start heckling him.
"Are you scared?"
"No. Why? Should I be?"
I can't listen to men complain. Can't, won't, would never. One of the guys goes up by Richard, who's driving as a replacement for the other driver, and drilled him. So, white guy on a bus full of black men kind of thing. It's like, why don't you shut the fuck up? Why don't you stop instigating shit? Richard calmly but annoyed-ly tells him his parents were a part of the Civil Rights movement. "Oh, you had black people in your house," he says.
Million Man March. The guy's girlfriend told him it was a sexist event before he even left, and you know what? Black wemyn need WAAAAY more support in this life than the MEN. We need a society that demolishes the myth that the man is the general caretaker in all situations. Even when it's not outright, it's always, always, always there, everywhere I look. So black men in America can go and bitch and complain in the 1990s (1995 was when this occurred) about equality while the wemyn sit still. I can't wait until there's just this big-ass femail revolt and all WE do is go stand around and whine about the MASSIVE inequality, ESPECIALLY black wemyn, have had to face for years and years and years. The Million Man March can eat me out, frankly, and I know I won't be able to watch that movie and listen to those assholes complain when they have this advantage just because they were born male, and they'll do everything for themselves but they've got no obligation towards the gender that they wouldn't be able to exist WITHOUT? SUCK ON IT.
FUCK! I HATE art class. I HATE Mr Kappernaros! God fucking damnit! The guy's a weirdo!
I woke up and felt hopeless this morning. I watched Richard and was just like, bam! Sometimes I get like that, my feelings all drop into a hole because I am very alone and it comes back to haunt me. Who will marry me! I said. Who would marry me! Why do I already know I'll have all the heartbreak in the world because I'm a feminist and I'm not willing to compromise with that? And because I am unusual looking? And sounding? Sometimes all this stuff makes it worse. But tonight I'm getting the first disc of X-Files Season 9 so I can finish the series off for myself. I started watching in the second grade (yuh, I know) and stopped after Season 8 because it was freaking ridiculous. I'm gonna get some closure. And I'm really into aliens right now. And robots and dinosaurs! UGH. Fucking geez.
"Whatevs." I am Mrs Richard Belzer. God I'm gonna be such a great human being!
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