Blurty for Nicole.

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Wednesday, March 9th, 2005

Time:7:49 pm.
What is your name? Nicole
Are you named after anyone? nope! (except my middle name)
What's your screename? OMgitzLMg..I have others, but only the select few know them!
Would you name a child of yours after you? psh no!
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be? prolly NICK (duh)
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be? I wouldn't..
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly? try and spell my name with an H.. (Nichole)..NO dammit and then there's those of you who insist on trying the "Nicki" thing..y'all are certainly brave!
Would you drop your last name if you became famous? yeah
Your gender: female
Straight/Gay/Bi: straight
Single? yeah
If not, do you want to be? n/a
Birthdate: June 9th, 1987
Your age: almost 18
Age you act: 18 I guess..or maybe younger in most cases
Age you wish you were: 18
Your height: 5 ft 2
Eye color: hazel
Happy with it? yeah
Hair color: brunette..with a bit of everything in it
Happy with it? yeah
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: righty
Your living arrangement: mommys..until the summer
Your family: is the best =/
Have any pets? oh yes
Whats your job? Klatte's "personal assistant"
Piercings? 4 in ears and belly button..waitin for the nose!
Tattoos? nope
Obsessions? uhh..nothing really?
Addictions? one -- me and court's "poptarts" (codename for something not so good..!)
Do you speak another language? hah people say i sometimes do
Have a favorite quote? "never give up on the things that make u smile"
Do you have a webpage? yeah..duh
Do you live in the moment? used to..
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? yeah
Do you have any secrets? yeah...doesn't everybody?
Do you hate yourself? no
Do you like your handwriting? it's alright? =/
Do you have any bad habits? lots..
What is the compliment you get from most people? uhh "i love ur hair"
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? ha I dont know.
What's your biggest fear? SPIDERS ahh
Can you sing? yeah but I dont
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? no
Are you a loner? no
What are your #1 priorities in life? 1. friends 2. family 3. school lol..
If you were another person, would you be friends with you? probably not
Are you a daredevil? no
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? not that I can think of
Are you passive or agressive? both at times
Do you have a journal? yeah
What is your greatest strength and weakness? I dont know about strengths but my weaknesses would definitely have to be gossip and having to move on -- it seems impossible to me
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? what I've had to go through my senior year
Do you think you are emotionally strong? yeah..I try my best to be
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? yeah a lot
Do you think life has been good so far? for the most part
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? need we go there?
Do you think you are good looking? umm..
Are you confident? try to be
Are you perceived wrongly? yes, by many
Do You...
Smoke? no
Do drugs? no
Read the newspaper? haha lately
Pray? no
Go to church? uh uh
Talk to strangers who IM you? naw
Sleep with stuffed animals? why yes I do!
Take walks in the rain? haha me and Courtney
Talk to people even though you hate them? yeah
Drive? yeah
Like to drive fast? yeah
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice? what?
Hurt yourself? not intentionally
Been out of the country? yes
Eaten something that made other people sick? no..?
Been in love? yeah
Done drugs? no
Gone skinny dipping? yeah lol
Had a medical emergency? yeah
Had surgery? yeah
Ran away from home? no..snuck out though 0:)
Played strip poker? no
Gotten beaten up? no
Beaten someone up? no
Been picked on? not seriously
Been on stage? yeah
Slept outdoors? yeah
Thought about suicide? no
Pulled an all nighter? yeah
If yes, what is your record? 25 hrs
Gone one day without food? all the time lol
Talked on the phone all night? every damn night
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex? yeah
Slept all day? yeah
Killed someone? no
Made out with a stranger? no
Had sex with a stranger? no
Thought you're going crazy? yes
Kissed the same sex? no
Done anything sexual with the same sex? no
Been betrayed? yeah
Had a dream that came true? yeah
Broken the law? yeah
Met a famous person? yeah
Have you ever killed an animal by accident? a raccoon the other day :(
On purpose? yeah, well not ME but I had others do it when I was too scared
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? yes
Stolen anything? yeah
Been on radio/tv? yeah
Been in a mosh-pit? yeah
Had a nervous breakdown? yeah
Bungee jumped? no
Had a dream that kept coming back? yes
Belive in life on other planets? I dont really know..
Miracles? a way..
Astrology? no, I just like reading my daily horoscopes
Magic? no
Santa? no
Ghosts? no
Luck? kinda
Love at first sight? no
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)? yeah
Witches? no
Easter bunny? no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever? yeah
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? no
Do you wish on stars? no
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? yeah
Who is your best friend? Londie and Courtney
Who's the one person that knows most about you? them two ^
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? too many
Your favourite inside joke? too many of those as well..
Thing you're picked on most about? my height
Who's your longest known friend? Londie
Newest? Hanna
Shyest? Jay
Funniest? Daton
Sweetest? Fred
Closest? Courtney
Weirdest? Anthony
Smartest? ALLIE McSmartypants!
Ditziest? Paul
Friends you miss being close to the most? Allie
Last person you talked to online? Matt
Who do you talk to most online? Fay or Brady
Who are you on the phone with most? Londie
Who do you trust most? Londie & Allie
Who listens to your problems? those 2 ^
Who do you fight most with? Rae Ann
Who's the nicest? Cody
Who's the most outgoing? Desiree
Who's the best singer? nobody really? lol..
Who's on your shit-list? tooo many of those!
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? haha well..actually
Who's your second family? the Goldens (Glodens/Holdens)
Do you always feel understood? never lol
Who's the loudest friend? myriam
Do you trust others easily? too easily
Who's house were you last at? Rae Ann's
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: he knows who he is..
Do your friends know you? um I'd sure hope so
Friend that lives farthest away: Jenny, all the way in England
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake? not at all..
What do you find romantic? lots of things?
Turn-on? everything about him
Turn-off? him and his god damn FARTing
First kiss? ahh Travis - oh yall remember him
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel? I wouldn't feel anything..kinda like some people I know..I guess it makes sense.
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them? um yaah
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out sometimes? lol I guess..I dont really think it matters?
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? lol allie knows the answer to this one!
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? I dont know?
What is best about the opposite sex? mmm everything
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? they're hairy and sweaty
What's the last present someone gave you? my mom bought me a teddy bear and lil roses to let me know she loves mee :) awww
Are you in love? yes, very much so
Do you consider your significant other hot? uhh of course
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you? um no one..that i know of?
You wanted to kill? the list is never ending..
That you laughed at? my dad
That laughed at you? matt (he lol'd)
That turned you on? lol..
You went shopping with? court -- in the CONVERTIBLE
That broke your heart? ...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, January 29th, 2005

Subject:Greetings from OXFORD.
Time:3:54 pm.
Mood: thoughtful.
Music:noisy streets.
Hello there. Well I am still here (in England) and I've finally made it to a computer to check my mail and of course, update the blurty. I miss you all (well, only the select few lol) and I just wanted to tell everyone hi and let you all know that we're okay. Tomorrow we're having tea at my aunt's house, then the funeral service is Monday. Tuesday we're all probably going to go into town and get some things sorted and the Wednesday my aunt and uncle leave so we'll probably be going to London. I come back Friday to say the least so I will see you all when I get back. Much Love, Nicole.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Friday, January 14th, 2005

Time:1:20 pm.
Mood: depressed.
Music:runaway train.
I was looking through Jason's old online journal earlier to help me cope with his death
and help me come to terms with what has happened, and remind me of the Jason I once knew.
After reading for quite some time, I came across some quotes he had put on there.
I'll leave you all with one that most definitely caught my attention:

If you don't accept responsibility for your own actions, then you are forever chained to a position of defense.

RIP William Jason Coker
3-12-87 -- 1-11-05 <3

You are in a better place now.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, January 8th, 2005

Time:6:20 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
Music:puddle of mudd.
Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You can be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doin'
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face

Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
So make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You can be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doin'
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

This pain you gave to me

Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to run away
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you where to run away

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

This pain you gave to me

Take it all away
Take it all away
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:6:14 pm.
Mood: depressed.
Well, the funeral was today. I went with Courtney for support because I know that I sure was scared to go to my first funeral last year. Then I think about my grandad, whom I was relatively close to...I was so crushed when he started to get sick that I could hardly stand to see him that way anymore, then he died and I cried day and night for about 2 weeks. Why am I not as upset about my Nana? My mom flew to Arizona at 4 this morning, leaving everything behind at the last minute and my Nana's dying and the tears just aren't there..that is, until today. Going to Lisa's funeral brought all kinds of thoughts to my head. It reminded me of how lucky I am to still be here after the accident, but also how unlucky my last year has been. After my grandad died, our entire family fell apart and in some cases I am still dealing with that. Then the accident, and having to see Jason the way he is every single week..not understanding why any of this would happen or why people are trying to complicate it anymore than it already is. Not knowing what's going to become of him or what he'll ever be capable of in the future, and then now Nana. While she was here just 2 weeks ago, I took spending time with her not too seriously. I blew her off 2 days in a row, and in total probably spent a whopping 4 hours with her. I feel very guilty and I wish I would have been a little bit nicer. My dad and I aren't getting along too well right now, well we are but I just dont know about moving in with him right now and he seems to think I'm packing my things up tomorrow sometimes. I don't know, I just feel really alone right now. I'm not ready to make drastic changes like that, and I'm not sure I want to leave my mom right now. Then there's Londie who's leaving in less than 2 days and I dont know if I'm even going to see him before he does. I'm not quite sure it's even a concern of his. I've gotten so used to seeing him all the time and him always being here that I don't know what I'll do when he's gone again. I'm just really emotional right now because it seems like everything's all happening at once. I thought that this year could be a new start for me and not be half as complicated as last year, but it already seems to be starting off on the wrong foot. I just hope that everything goes okay, but I just don't know how much I trust it to. I just don't understand why we're all here if we're only going to die. We make all kinds of friends who we grow so attached to, only to lose them, just like our family members. I just don't see the point. Yeah, there are happy moments too, but do they really over-power the bad? I know I'm only young, but I just don't know how much more I can take. I just feel like already, everyone I become close to eventually goes away. Life really is strange.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, January 2nd, 2005

Subject:Lonely road
Time:7:56 pm.
Mood: relaxed.
Music:football game.
Well it's a lonely road that you have chosen
Morning comes and you don't know me anymore
And it's a long time since your heart was frozen
Morning comes and you don't know me anymore
For a moment your eyes open and you know
All the things I ever wanted you to know
I don't know you anymore, and I don't want to
Till the moment your eyes open and you know

That it's a lonely place that you have run to
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore
And it's a lonely end that you will come to
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

For a moment your eyes open and you know
All the things I ever wanted you to know
I don't know you, and I don't want to
Till the moment your eyes open and you know
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, January 1st, 2005

Subject:Happy New Year!!
Time:4:54 pm.
Mood: pensive.
Hey there. Figure it's time for an update! Allie left this morning, sadly. I'm gonna miss her, a lot. We had fun this week though, did a lot and got into a lot of trouble, lol. Last night I went over to Court's, seeing that her and I haven't really spent much time with eachother this week, and I needed to get my mind off of things so I went to her house. Her entire family was there and her sister's b/f and we had a bonfire and did fireworks, it was quite amusing -- especially after her mom got drunk and then her cousin set the playhouse on fire, that was the best. Later on, we watched White Chicks and fell asleep. No drinking for Nicole this year, as I have made a decision not to ever drink again -- seriously. Not after what drinking has done for everyone this year. I don't know about some people, but I am sure sticking to it. Seeing Jason in the state that he is makes me realize that it's not worth it, nothing is worth losing a friend. I'm just glad that he is closer now so that we can visit him more often. The night Allie got here us 3 went up and saw him and he was sleeping. I was hoping he'd be awake so that maybe he could see Allie, but he was out..he sure looked peaceful though. 2004 was definitely a life-changing year..and I've learned a lot from it, I just hope this new year goes a bit better for me..but already there's something going on with my nana. I think my mom's flying out to Arizona today to go see her as she is in the ER. I don't really understand what's wrong with her, but it seems serious. What a way to start off the new year, right? Yeah, sure is. I'm already feeling ill from not getting like any sleep last night, then waking up bright and early to go out to breakfast with courtney, allie, and paul before she left this morning. I slept most of the day! Now I'm gonna go get ready to do something, I need to get out of this house before I go insane. I'll update later <3
- Nicole
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, December 30th, 2004

Time:2:30 pm.
Mood: frustrated.
if you only knew the way i feel for you, i'd really love to tell you
but i just can never find the words to say and i dont know why.
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, December 28th, 2004

Subject:Let me be the one
Time:8:40 am.
Mood: refreshed.
Music:ryan cabrera.
Maybe you're scared to show your feelings
and if there are none, I do understand
Well I don't make a promise I can't keep
And I vow to be a real good friend

In those big brown eyes I see a glow of love
I just hope I'm the one you're dreaming of

Let me be the one to love you
Let me be the one to care
Let me be the one to light your flame
Let me be the one

We spend all our time together
We can't stand to sleep alone
When you say you have to leave for now
I miss you before you're gone

All along we thought this was absurd
Every moment we spend goes by too fast
Just take this chance with me
Cause I have eyes only for you

Let me be the one to love you
Let me be the one to care
Let me be the one to light your flame
Let me be the one
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, December 26th, 2004

Time:9:30 am.
Mood: awake.
Music:k e a n e.
Good Morning! Well, Christmas is FINALLY over -- no more stressing over presents etc. This year just didn't seem to do it for me -- I guess it's due to all that has happened in the last few months, but whatever it was, it just didn't seem at all like Christmas to me this year. Thursday I went with Londie to his therapy for his knee and we were there for a good 3 hours. Him and this other girl were the only young people in there (well, me too of course) so it was quite funny watching him and the old people. I thought I was going to be bored out of my mind, but it was actually quite amusing! Christmas Eve I went to see my grandma in the morning and Candi, Tiff, Ken, and Joe were all over there so I stayed there for a little while. Then I went to Londie's to bring him and his family their stuff and then we went shopping with his mom. Then I went and saw Jason and his dad and brought them some goodies. Then a bunch of my mom's friends came over and did some gift exchanging. Then Christmas morning I was up bright and early and my parents WERENT so I waited forever for them to wake up, then we did Christmas. I got a LOT of clothes and money mainly. I also finally got a camera phone -- we all know my old one was getting raggedy! So I'm happy about that. Today I dont know what I'm doing, it's my parents anniversary so I'll stay out of THEIR way lol I'll probably just stay home or something. Tomorrow night Allie will be here and we're gonna go out and have FUN like the old days, lol. Then Tuesday her mom's taking her, me, and Courtney shopping! I guess we're gonna go to the Millenia Mall first, but we'll probably end up at the Florida Mall later on -- seeing that we always do. As for the rest of the week, I'm really not sure. I know New Years Eve we'll probably go to CityWalk, but who knows. I guess we'll just have to take it one day at a time! Well I'm gonna go finish my laundry from last night then probably take a shower and get this day going. <3 Update later.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, December 21st, 2004

Subject:REAL update
Time:6:51 am.
Mood: sleepy.
So anyway, how about a REAL update! Shall we? I lost track of where I was in this damn thing, so I'll try to sum everything up in a short manner. Wednesday (almost a damn WEEK ago) Courtney and I took the boys to Citywalk and we ate dinner and watched a movie and saw snow and blablabla.. dont feel like going into too much detail as it is 6:40 in the AM and I'm tired. Thursday, I did the weekly dinner thing with my dad and we went to the mall to get some more things for the new house. Friday I went to Londie's house after school to help him out because he wasnt getting around as good then. Saturday, Courtney and I went to the school to attempt to edit on damn AVID but it didnt exactly work out -- Mr. Klatte gave us an alternative assignment which was 10x easier and right in our list of things we like to do. We had to make a TV1 Survival Guide to TV Production with Mr. Klatte. It's quite humorous and I think he'll really like it. Then we ordered chicken wings (with ranch dressing..) -- Would Courtney eat anything else? and we went to Walmart and Publix to pick up some things for the party. After that, Courtney took me to Londie's and she went home to get some clothes and stuff so she could stay the night with me at my dad's house. She picked me up like 3 hours LATER and we went back to the house and worked on our little book (after talking on our damn phones all night). Then the next morning I forgot to set my alarm and we both woke up the time she was supposed to physically BE at work so that kind of sucked. Then she ended up finally getting to work (an hour later) and I did some things around the house, then went back home. We had Christmas here with Nana because she's leaving TODAY and wouldn't be able to have it on Christmas Day. Then yesterday I had my American Govt exam (which was pointless anyway because Mr. Williams is giving us all good grades!) and then Courtney and I went home to finish the stupid book (once again) and then went to Londie's house for a little bit to see how he was doing. Then we left, she got her car and went shopping or whatever it is that she did, and I went out to eat with my Nana and my dad. Then I came home, took a shower, studied for Spanish, and went to bed (EARLY for once!) Today I'm going to school for my last 2 exams -- (YAY) then I'm going to Londie's house then later later on I'm going with my mom to see Jason. =) So yeah, that about sums it all up! Now you know why I usually like to do it day by day -- So it doesnt have to be SO LONG.
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, December 18th, 2004

Subject:Get your phone ready!
Time:11:01 pm.
Mood: amused.
Music:coldplay <3.
Hi there. Well I just got back from my BEST friend, Londie's house. Geez, it seems like I'm ALWAYS with him. We spend a LOT of time together, don't we? YES, we sure do. I'm soo glad my parents aren't racist, that sure would suck. HA! I LOVE YOU LONDIE! :)
Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, December 14th, 2004

Subject:Look what you've done.
Time:7:34 pm.
Mood: sad.
Music:> jet <.
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Subject:new plan
Time:6:27 am.
Mood: sleepy.
Music:coldplay :).
Hi there. SO yesterday, I never ended up staying after to get any editing done because Klatte left to go to this OTHER job right away. Instead, I went to Court's house to finish editing my dad's christmas video on her computer. Then all of our plans got twisted around due to Londie having his surgery on Thursday, so we had to rethink everything out and we are now planning on doing it tomorrow after school around 2ish SO that's that. Today I need to TRY and get some editing done on avid, but we always say we will and we have yet to start..then we need to pick up a few items from the store for tomorrow, then I need to go to my dad's house to get some cash that I will most definitely be needing for tomorrow as well. So that's the plan..I'm tired as hell this morning because I couldnt go to bed last night. Oh well, gotta be a G lol Uh oh! time for school! =/ yaay.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Monday, December 13th, 2004

Subject:Family <3 =/
Time:6:50 am.
Mood: cheerful.
GOOD morning! I'm trying to get an entry in before I head out to school so that I dont have to do one later on! Well Saturday we had our little parade out at Camp Boggy Creek and we sucked, as usual. Later on, Courtney, Paul, and I went out to PETLAND, then to the mall where I saw Londie and Sara. Then I came back home and went to sleep, then woke up from my parents and my NANA coming in the door, nearly scaring the shit out of me. Then they had me stay up for 2 or some hours just talking about god knows what, then I was off to bed again. Then Sunday, I went to my dad's for a little bit to see his progress on the house and then came back home to eat lunch. Then I spent the rest of the day shopping for lights and putting up lights with Londie and his brother. Today after school I'm probably going to stay at school to edit, but who knows. I always SAY I'm gonna, but its ultimately up to Courtney -- I dont know why. My family is driving me crazy already and its only been 2 days -- 2 down, 8 more to go! Then we'll have our Christmas Party and/or New Years Party and we can celebrate her leaving! But all I'm concerned with as of right now is the surprise on Saturday! But I'm off to school now, have 3 layers of clothes today because it's damn cold. Updates later!
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Friday, December 10th, 2004

Subject:>> TGIF ]
Time:6:41 am.
Mood: excited.
Good morning. Okay -- I just don't understand what's been going on lately. Fay told me the other night that Lee has been diagnosed with lung cancer. What else can go wrong this year? I feel terrible. I was never really close to Lee like I was Jason, but for the one summer he was down we all had a lot of fun. I wish there was a way I could let him know that I'm thinking about him, but there isn't too much I can do. I just hope he can get treatment and be able to come out of it. Not too much has been going on lately that's worth me remembering at 6:45 this morning. We had SATs, then finally moved everything into my dad's house, then there's been school -- which takes up most of my time lately, and that's about it. Londie is finally coming home today so I'm VERY excited about that. 4 1/2 months is a LONG time, too long if you ask me. Today we find out if we are even HAVING a christmas concert (due to only having 3 songs ready because of the stupid electrical fire). I know it's gonna be an awful, embarrassing show but none of us seniors want to miss out on our very last concert. I guess tonight Courtney's staying over at my house so I can help her finish up her 4 assignments for her online government class -- if she doesnt have it done by Sunday, she'll have done it all for nothing and Saturday she cant get much done with the parade and everything else she has planned with Paul. I think my mom has finally let me decide on whether or not I'm going with them Saturday night -- THANK GAWD. I did NOT want to go. Then NEXT week (Saturday) Courtney and I have a lil (well, BIG) surprise for the boys. :) But that will not be on here -- just in case. Well I better finish getting ready for school -- TGIF. I'll update later on. <3 Bye
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, November 28th, 2004

Subject:It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Time:12:14 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
Music:gavin degraw <3.
Hey -- So here's what's been going on lately. Thursday (Thanksgiving) Rae Ann came over and my mom took her, Courtney, and me to the hospital where we visited Jason and his family. We stayed for a long time just talking about all kinds of things and then Jason's two sisters and nephew came and we had to get back so Rae Ann wouldn't be late for her dinner. I really love Jason's parents, they are the sweetest people I think I've ever met. I feel so terrible that they have to deal with all of this, no one deserves that. So after that, we came home and then went over to my dad's new house to see what he was up to, then we went to Winn Dixie to pick up a few things, then back home. Then we had Thanksgiving dinner, which had me in tears -- Brian said grace and listed out in detail the things he is thankful for, so after an endless list of things, I nearly thought I was gonna starve, until he mentioned the accident, and how thankful he was that Jason and I are still here today, and that he hopes Jason comes out of his coma soon and will be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family next year. I think it had all 6 of us teary-eyed. It made me feel really good about going up to the hospital that morning. So Friday, I woke up early and went to my dad's OLD house. I cleaned out my entire room, got rid of a bunch of useless junk, then took the computer apart and took it to the new house. I carried the stupid thing all the way up the stairs, and plugged it all in, then my dad came over and started painting. I went home and did some things around here then got ready and went out to Light up Eustis with Courtney. We ran into Rae Ann, Cody, and Jay there and Syd and Curtis, then after seeing my ex, Travis, I was ready to leave. We then went to KFC to visit Kosiba, then went out to eat. After that we went to the mall to pick up something, then to Walmart. Then to Downtown Mount Dora lol then we met up with Will and his friend. (We may not do anything EXCITING on our Friday nights, but we do do A LOT.) Then yesterday I met my dad at the new house at 10ish and we went and picked up some furniture we ordered. Then I came home and helped my family decorate for Christmas. I put a lot more in my room this year -- it's pretty neat, LIGHTS EVERYWHERE! Today I dont have anything planned -- Just gonna wrap some Christmas presents and do some laundry probably. I'm in a blockbuster mood so maybe I'll rent some movies too. I dont know, but I'm tired of this computer. I will update sometime soon!
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Wednesday, November 24th, 2004

Subject:Busy day
Time:5:06 pm.
Mood: exhausted.
Music:the cranberries.
Today was Rae Ann's 18th birthday and a bunch of us went to Orlando. Afterwards I came home and got some of my senior stuff in the mail (yay) I got my shirt, my scrapbook, and some other senior book. I'm trying to get the energy to start cleaning, but it's just not happening, I'm so tired. Yesterday after school Courtney and I went to the new house to clean, we ended up staying there until like 9pm. The upstairs seemed to take forever, not to mention we had to carry the ladder, cleaning stuff, everything imaginable up the stairs. When I got home I went right to sleep, avoiding every phone call I got all night! (Sorry guys) Then this morning Rae Ann called me at 7:30, up and ready to head out (she had been up for atleast 3 hours prior) I took a shower, did some errands, and they picked me up at the house. We had to go to Sanford to the Honda place to get my new temporary tag (because the people forgot to send out my permanent tag, but that's on it's way supposedly) I dont know, it's been a busy couple of days and tomorrow doesnt seem to be any less busy. Courtney's coming over after work tonight to sleepover, because she's spending Thanksgiving over at my house this year -- family problems. Then in the morning my mom, her, and I are going to the hospital to see Jason and bring his family some things, since they'll be spending Thanksgiving up there. I really miss Jason, I've been thinking about him so much lately. The last few months him and I became so close and I could tell him almost anything -- I really miss that. He was the one I'd always call when something went wrong, or something exciting happened and it's lonely not having that anymore. He was always there for me, when not everyone was, and he understood me like no other person could. He doesnt deserve what he's going through and I really wish it hadn't happened. I just hope that everything will turn out okay, but we'll just have to see. I'm gonna get busy on this room of mine -- update later.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004

Subject:hold on
Time:6:49 am.
Mood: depressed.
Music:sarah mclachlan.
hold on, hold on to yourself
for this is gonna hurt like hell
hold on, hold on to yourself
you know that only time can tell

what is it in me that refuses to believe
this isn't easier than the real thing
jason, you know that you're my best friend
you know that i'd do anything for you
and let nothing come between us
my love for you is strong and true
am i in heaven here or am i
at the crossroads i am standing

so now you're sleeping peaceful
i lie awake and pray
that you'll be strong tomorrow
and we'll see another day
and we will praise it
and love the light that brings a smile across your face

oh god if you're out there won't you hear me
i know we've never talked before
and oh god my friend may be leaving
won't you take him when he comes to your door
am i in heaven here or am i in hell
at the crossroads i am standing

so now you're sleeping peaceful
i lie awake and pray
that you'll be strong tomorrow
and we'll see another day
and we will praise it
and love the light that brings a smile across your face

hold on, hold on to yourself
for this is gonna hurt like hell
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, November 20th, 2004

Subject:Busy BEE
Time:8:18 pm.
Mood: hungry.
Music:eminem lol.
Hey there! So today was my dad's ever-so-exciting annual company picnic down at Hickory Point and I made Courtney come with. (not really FORCED her to, she wanted to come for the food) so we did that. I had to wake up like 8am this morning to help get ready and go shopping and stuff. It went well though. Besides, Court's date with Paul tonight gave me reason to leave early, to take her back to the house. Last night we went out and had our typical Friday night, which includes a quick run-in at WalMart (just in case someone interesting may be there) then dinner of some sort (usually Red Lobster, Garfields, or Chilis) then Lake Square of course, because it is such an exciting place. Needless to say, not too much has gone on this week, got some more Spanish make up work done, ordered a letter jacket which should be back in by Tuesday the guy said, started planning my final for tv (which will be a 10 min avid project in replace of a 5 min movie, but there is a method to my madness you all -- I'll explain later) then Courtney and I finally turned in our senior pages and quotes (finally getting THAT off our chests!) Now this coming week we'll only have 2 days in school then its Rae Ann's birthday Wednesday, which I will spend cleaning and getting the house ready for my dad to paint Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Tomorrow should be fun though, him and I are going shopping for paint (of course), furniture, accessories -- shoot, all kinds of things! I just hope it's not all TOO much work, because it's beginning to seem like it! I dont know, it will all be worth it in the end, when we're having our Christmas Party! =] Well, I must get going, I have to get something to eat before I starve! Updates later! leave comments!
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Blurty for Nicole.

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