Omega19x

9:38pm: you know you watch too much anime when...
You decide to create a Seto Kaiba for your Guitar Hero game.

It's not that hard, really. The game might not have his trenchcoat, but it does have his gauntlets and a stunning blue guitar with a dragon on it. I punked him out and he looks great. And as soon as I earn enough in-game money, I'm buying him the $8,000 dragon outfit. Oh yeah, baby.

But here's the kicker...

The first set I played with the character, the computer randomly generated the following bandmates.
Please note, that I did not create these. The Wii did.

1. A lead singer that was a dead ringer for Jack Atlas from Yugioh 5Ds. I swear, exact same hair, same build, and punk clothes that matched Kaiba's.
2. A bassist that looked like a female version of Matt from Death Note. Jeans. Black and white striped shirt, vest. Same hair. Same goggles. Unbelievable.
3. Sorry, the drummer wasn't interesting enough to warrant my attention after those two.

I started laughing so hard, I failed the song!!

Wow... I haven't felt this geeky since I made L and Light Miis and had them play against each other in a game of tennis.

9:17pm: making you laugh, one internet quote a time
I was randomly surfing the internet for a very long time this evening, and I saw this on 'The Customer is Not Always Right' blog. I had to post it, given how hilarious it was.

There are two local businesses with very similar phone numbers.

Support person: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”
Customer: “How much for my daughter?”
Support person: “Um…”
Customer: “She’s 16. It’s her first time. She needs training.”
Support person:“Sir, I think you want the driving school.”
Customer: “Oh, what do you guys do?”
Support person: “Adult websites.”
Customer: “Oh…OH! Oh my God!”

In completely, non-related news, a 1 gig download takes over an hour and thirty minutes to complete on a 5 MB/s connection.

Current Lips: red, purple and black gradient blend

9:49pm: How to fix your internet speed in 71 easy steps
1. Realize that transferring large files is painfully slow.
2. Look at the ISP's web page.
3. The cheapest plan offers 15 MB/s bandwith. Surely, we have the cheapest plan. So my bandwith should be up to 15 MB/s.
4. go to dslreports.com
5. check bandwith
6. It's 4.6 MB/s
7. check it again.
8. Same result.
9. Check it once more for good measure.
10. So... I'm only getting about 1/3 of what I'm paying for?! That bites! That's highway robbery! Let's complain about it!
11. Complain about it.
12. Actually decide to do something about it.
13. Which involves customer service people... so put it off.
14. work on a video
15. Watch the Good Eats 10th anniversary spectacular.
16. eat a pancake.
17. go to sleep.
18. Get reminded about it at work.
19. Go to the ISP website. This is an internet problem, surely I can e-mail them about it or something.
20. Oh look, there is. Sweet.
21. Let's try the troubleshooting options first, though.
22. Look up the ISP preferred speed optimization software
23. for MAC, please. kthnx
24. Download broadband tuner.
25. unzip broadband tuner.
26. Install broadband tuner.
27. Make a joke about synchro-summoning something.
28. Run speed test again.
29. Must be a junk synchron, because the test comes back exactly the same. What a load of JUNK.
30. click to open a repair ticket.
31. fill out online forms.
32. check firewall settings.
33. Go outside to check the fiber optics box on the side of the house for green lights.
34. Realize the forms meant the box on the INside of the house.
35. Go back inside.
36. Oh shit, it's in the garage. Good thing I can see two lights from the doorway, because that's as close as I'm going to be getting to them.
37. Look up what the lights mean.
38. Oh good. it means it's on, and the battery has life.
39. Finish filling out the forms.
40. Type out a detailed description of my problem.
41. Click next.
42. A line test is initiated.
43. Line test fails.
44. Click to send repair ticket.
45. "We're sorry, but the request cannot be processed at this time. Please call a service representative. We apologize for any inconvenience this might have caused you."
46. Why that damn little piece of data. It didn't send it, and it didn't save it! Let's complain about it!!
47. Talk about the weather, oh wait, no. I complained about it.
48. Type everything out again.
49. Sit through another line test.
50. I mean, another failed line test.
51. Click to send repair ticket.
52. "We're sorry, but the request cannot be processed at this time. Please call a service representative. We apologize for any inconvenience this might have caused you."
53. Complain. Complain. Complain. Complain. hey, do you want to go to the zoo with me on Saturday? No, oh... okay. Complain. Complain. Complain.
54. Whine about having to call a customer service rep at 9:30 at night.
55. Call one anyway.
56. And get the automated line.
57. Which wants to try troubleshooting things first.
58. And it's hard to say no to a machine that keeps telling you how astronomically long the wait time will be if it has to connect you to a representative.
59. It's line test fails too, and it has no other choice.
60. The wait time was about 2 seconds.
61. Funny, the automated systems that tell you how short the time will be are usually the ones that have the 3 hour wait times...
62. Give account info.
63. Verify account info.
64. Tell the real human being (who sounds completely American, btw) what the problem is.
65. Learn that the account we have is not a 15 MB/s bandwith account. It's only a 5 MB/s bandwith account.
66. "Oh... so my connection is slow because... my connection is slow."
67. "Yeah. Pretty much..."
68. "Boy, do I feel dumb."
69. Hang up.
70. Let's complain about it!!
71. okay, no. Nevermind. Good Eats is on.

Current Lips: orange, brown and black gradient blend

6:29am: That dreamcatcher needs new batteries.
What a terrible nightmare!!! Even Darkrai couldn't dream this up!
(Yes, Usagi, I actually used a pokemon reference. You can praise me later.)

I dreamed that I was away from the office for a single day, to attend a funeral, no less. And when I got back, everything had changed.

It started out with meetings about little things, and then one of the other departments stole my cell phone and used up all the minutes I had left on my plan to conduct some kind of ridiculous test. And even printed out proof of what they did. When I went to complain to my manager, I learned that they'd completely redesigned that area of the floor, including my studio.

They'd taken away my studio, painted all the walls white, carved windows in them, hung up chalkboards... and of course, I flipped out. Saying I needed the studio in order to work. All my cameras were gone! My lights were gone! What was I supposed to do?!

She hit a button and a green screen, which was about the size of an overhead projector screen, came down from the ceiling. That was my answer.

I kept yelling, saying how it was too small. I could never do wide shots, and my talent wouldn't have room to gesture... and that I needed a room with black walls, so light wouldn't reflect, and without windows, so people couldn't look inside and make my talent nervous.

Then she said that I just had to adjust, and asked when the last time I took vacation was. I didn't need a vacation, I said, I needed my studio!

Eventually, in the dream, my manager apologized for being insensitive. She kept saying how this was the CEO's way to better utilize the space, but that she shouldn't totally dismiss my opinion. I was willing to compromise, saying that they could build me a studio anywhere else in the building, and I'd move to it. I didn't really care where I sat. I even gave her the specs for a better studio, with extra green space on the walls and a green floor!!

But the conversation ended with me crying, saying how I just needed it to do my job. And without it, I didn't have a job. I even started crying to the CEO, realizing that this was their way of firing me... I just kept repeating, 'I need it to do my job! I need it to do my job!'

It was at that point where I woke up.

I was literally crying. Tears were streaming down my face. And it took me quite some time to go back to sleep.

All I have to say is... when I get to work, there'd better be a studio, and it better be exactly how I left it on Friday.

Current Lips: orange, brown and black gradient blend

9:04pm: well, the soup wasn't completely ruined. Unless you're a vampire.
Note to self:

Garlic powder =/= onion flakes, even though the bottles are the exact same shape, size and are sitting next to each other in the spice rack. And when you shake it, a hell of a lot more comes out than you think it does.

It tasted pretty bad at first, but we managed to pull it back to the edible stage eventually. All it needed was some sugar, more time... and the stuffed up nose of allergy season didn't hurt either.

2:29pm: And the mystery of Emo!Mahaado is solved
I was reading some Yugioh manga the other day, and the following plot point suddenly hit me:

It is obvious that Mahaado feels a tremendous amount of guilt and grief over Pharaoh Akhenamkhanen's death. After his tomb is robbed, he takes full blame for what would mean a second death to the former pharaoh, and asks Atem for punishment. He then leaves to face Bakura, knowing that he will likely die.

But what could cause this terrible grief?

As stated in vol 4, after Mahaado became a priest and sealed the evil of the millennium ring, he discovered the secrets of the millennium items. He then told Pharaoh Akhenamkhanen about them, and he fell ill and died.

As stated in vol 2, we also know that Mahaado is a spirit sorcerer, and that means he has powers that go beyond what the millennium items can do. Other than his apprentice, who's still a student, there aren't any other spirit sorcerers mentioned.

As stated in vol 6, Hasan tells Atem that Akhenamkhanen gave his soul to seal a spirit (him) into the stone tablet. I can think of only two ways to accomplish this. One is with the millennium items. Granted that the pharaoh was utterly sick with grief over how the items were created, it's unlikely he used any item to achieve that goal. The second would be to enlist the powers of a spirit sorcerer, who would be able to cast such a spell without using the items.

And there is likely only one spirit sorcerer the pharaoh would be able to call upon.

Do you realize what that means??

Mahaado did not just indirectly cause the pharaoh's death. He outright killed him. He performed the ritual that created Hasan, thus taking the life and soul of the pharaoh. And he likely had to do it in complete secrecy. It is no wonder he behaved the way he did. What an incredible weight to bear on your shoulders... and for all eternity.

Yes... I know... I'm a geek.

8:11pm: Really, people. Shut up. Just shut up.
Ah, I finally get my annual Phonathon call from my alma mater... and I can't even enjoy the moment because I have my mother yelling in my other ear about what I'm doing, who I'm talking to, what I'm donating, and angrily protesting my decision to donate via credit card this year instead of check.

And then, she has the audacity to tell me to be quiet because Dad's talking on the phone.

Funny, it didn't seem to stop her a minute ago, when I was on the phone. Hell, I didn't even get to send a faculty-gram.

Current Lips: purple gradient blend

8:03pm: wouldn't surprise me
Apparently, a long, intense, video shoot with a hand-held camera + a somewhat healing shoulder injury that's less than two weeks old = pain down my entire left arm.

That fact is a little disconcerting, but perhaps that's only because I just spent the last hour watching House. Watching House tends to do that. Which leaves me wondering if I pulled a muscle, pinched a nerve, or if I've developed a degenerative disease that will lead to an eventual amputation of the affected arm. Okay, I'm not really wondering the latter. I'm just being sarcastic. Watching House tends to do that too.

Now where's that damn ice pack?

Current Lips: white, light green and black gradient blend

4:30pm: Forget the victor. To the cosplayer goes the spoils!
I just got back from the Yugioh Mall Tour. From what I heard, it was supposed to be an event with tournaments, dueling simulators, lots of space to play, etc. In reality, there were no real tournaments, no dueling simulators, they only had six tables, and the wait for open dueling space could reach about an hour at a time.

But they did have one thing - a special appearance by Ryou Bakura... aka. me!

And there was a lot of trading. Including the cards I got from my friends for cosplay purposes, I came home with a whole handful of Kuribohs, 3 blue eyes white dragons, a blue eyes ultimate dragon, a blue eyes shining dragon, and the ultimate combo... 3 blue eyes white dragons... IN SPANISH! Not fake Spanish Yugioh cards, real official cards, with Spanish text. How awesome is THAT?!

Other than trading, the main highlight of the event was a chance to duel official Konami judges. There were four of them, and you could only duel each one once. If you beat one, you got one of the new Yusei booster packs.

I dueled all four.
So how many booster packs did Bakura walk away with?? Let's count!!

Match 1: I played against a plant themed deck, and I lost.

Match 2: This was my Bakura deck versus what the judge called, 'a deck a cosplayer can truly appreciate.' As soon as the first Blue Eyes White Dragon was put on the field, I immediately started appreciating it.
I appreciated it even more when my Dark Necrofear committed suicide against his Blue Eyes, so I could gain control of the monster. I used it to eat up his life points a little, and then sacrificed it on my last turn for a monster that took its attack strength from twice that of the sacrificed monster. That's 6000 points of damage.
He went from 5800 to 0 in one attack, and I snatched my first booster pack!!

Match 3: I played against a fish deck, and actually managed to hold my own for a very long time. In the end, I held off long enough for the win! So second booster pack for me!!

Match 4: This was truly epic. This deck was a crystal beast deck. We were actually neck and neck for the longest time, until he managed to lock me down with a 4000/4000 monster in defense mode, that all monsters had to attack, regardless of what they attacked. And he had a card that could attack my life points directly. All his card spaces were filled except for one, and they all had crystal monsters in them. I could survive one more attack if his field stayed the way it was.
One of my friends on the sidelines says, 'There's one card that can save you. You have to draw Zorc!' He was right. I had everything I needed to summon Zorc in my hand except for the ritual monster card itself.
My opponent, though, drew 'United we Stand' a spell card that adds 800 attack points for every monster on that side of the field. Everyone in the vicinity just cringed as he totally obliterated me.
But the most epic moment was still yet to come... I pulled the next card off the top of my deck. It was Zorc.
The duel was so hilarious, and it was so much fun, that the judge gave me TWO booster packs, even though I lost!

He justified it like this -

'Everyone who's come to play against me today has come to try and beat me and get free cards. You're the first person here that came to play for fun. And this duel was a lot of fun. So even though you lost, you win.'

It was definitely an uplifting ending to a really fun day.

Current COSTUME: Ryou Bakura

9:19am: Thrillvania!!
Apparently, east Texas is not the place you want to be at night. It's downright creepy out there. Nothing's well lit, nothing's easy to find, and the people that live out there are so Christian and white, it's scary. The perfect local for one of the most spectacular haunted attractions in the country, right? Right.

Last night, an old co-worker and I headed out to Thrillvania Thrill Park, to jump start our Halloween season and get our spook on. It had eight haunted attractions, and we were able to go through almost all of them. There was a neat, and cute, magic show, and plenty of other activities too.

Here's what I thought of the attractions:

Haunted Verdun Manor:
This was a huge haunted mansion, probably the biggest I've ever been in. And it was pretty neat. The graveyard out front was extremely well done, and the laboratory room inside was fantastic!! I want one.
Like all haunted houses, my biggest regret is that you have to go so fast that you can't enjoy the amazing surroundings. Apparently you're not supposed to enjoy them, you're supposed to run through them screaming like an idiotic teenager. I guess I just don't get it.

VooDoo Bayou:
This was cool. It's basically the path leading up to the big mansion. The fog was creepy, and there was plenty to see. A dark, cloudy night made it all that much better.

Cassandra's Labyrinth of Terror:
We went in this one first. So it was probably my least favorite. Being a normally alert person, especially one who had just been driving in frightening, barely visible conditions in East Texas... I saw all the spooky things coming. Maybe it's the martial artist in me, but I saw each and every one of them coming. It took me a good two attractions to zone out enough to be even remotely surprised.

Dr. Lycan's Trail of Torment:
This trail was through the woods, which would have been my absolutely favorite part, had it not rained so hard yesterday. Everything was muddy, much muddier than we'd anticipated. Most of the people who were supposed to jump out and scare us were pointing flashlights at the mud puddles that would go up to our knees. And it was hard to stop and admire the creepy woods, or the toilet with the guy crawling out of it, etc... when you had to watch your step so closely.

Granny Lupus's Séance Theatre:
This was a sit-down show. It was all animatronics, and to be honest, it sucked. Nothing spooky about it. And the seats vibrated, but not in a good way.

Maze of Chaos:
We couldn't do this one. It was too muddy. I do love mazes, though. And I wish we could have done it, even if it was just a lot of chicken wire.

Six Feet Blunder:
You know... we missed this one. And I have no idea how we missed this one. But if it was anything like the other sit-down show, that was probably a good thing.

Thorn Hall:
This was their new attraction this year, and I think it was probably my favorite. It did the one thing you wouldn't expect from a haunted house - it took away all the lights and made you wander through in the dark. Since you couldn't see anything, you had to feel your way through, even through billowing plastic sheets with giant fans behind them. Those were so hard to squeeze through, especially if you're a small person. I kept getting stuck!

Current Lips: black, orange and white stripes

6:37am: Sometimes I wonder if I'm being tested more than the students are.
Well, last night was interesting.

I had quite a small class after the threat of rain and massive flooding... which didn't happen... Only three students came, all eligible for testing. So it turned into an advanced belt cram night. And my autistic student had quite a meltdown. I've never seen him act like that.

It was a lesson in patience, in teaching methods... I finally did get him to calm down and work on at least part of his form, by breaking it into smaller pieces. And I finally did get his father, who I can imagine was extremely embarrassed, working on other things and not caught up in the situation. I think the night was harder on him than it was on me.

Everyone has good days and everyone has bad days. I know I do.

Oh great... NOW it's raining...

Current Lips: black, orange and white gradient blend

8:12pm: Screw the sanity, I'm posting mpreg.
Okay, maybe I've been on the Yugioh Kink Meme one too many times... but I'm finally posting a fanfiction involving mpreg. And not just any mpreg. Dragon mpreg. Because if there's one thing more entertaining than men having babies, it's got to be men having babies of a completely different species. Yes, she says with shifty eyes... That makes complete and total sense.

Screw the Uterus! I have Money!

Enjoy.

Current Lips: green and black gradient blend

8:57pm: Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Last night in kendo, I tweaked my shoulder again. It didn't pull it out of place, but it aggravated what injury was already there. And I'm feeling it now. So much so, that I'm actually icing it while I'm typing.

You know, I'd almost forgotten how many things I actually use my left arm for - picking up the telephone, opening the door, manhandling giant pieces of poster board, steering the car... I suppose that's one thing pain is good for - reminding you not to take various parts of the body for granted.

I hope it heals up fast. I won't be able to spar very well until I can get some more range of motion back. It's pretty bad right now, actually. I'll be forced to fight with my sword on the outside, strike low and block with my right hand up. A potential deathtrap for two reasons - namely death and trap. Which, of course, I'll probably throw myself into the middle of, just because I can.

Current Lips: black and gold gradient blend

6:32am: It's official. I have the alcohol tolerance of a kuribo.
I felt pretty bad yesterday morning, and all through the morning staff meeting. In fact, it wasn't until lunch when I started feeling better. It also wasn't until lunch that I finally realized what was wrong with me. Granted, part of it was likely allergies. I had spent all day outside yesterday. But a big part of it was something else...

Me: I'm not sick. I swear. I just... feel like crap...
Her: You had something to drink yesterday. And now you feel all icky?
Me: Yeah.
(so sue me, but a the time, I had no idea where she was going with this...)
Her: And a headache?
Me: Yeah.
Her: And your head hurts like wooooooh... *she gestures wavelike motions with her hands*
Me: Yeah!!
Her: You're hungover.
Me: Wait, what?!

Really... I mean, really?!

All I had to drink was a couple ounces of wine. A small $1, sample-sized cup. And it was a blush, a white whine, so it had less congers, less tannins, less histamines, etc., than a red wine, which I know can affect me. I drank other, non-alcoholic beverages at the time. And I drank this minuscule amount of wine early in the afternoon, assuming any physical feelings of withdrawl would take care of themselves long before the next day.

I didn't drink irresponsibly, and I didn't drink very much. I honestly thought I was drinking well within my limits. I certainly didn't expect this much of an effect, or to be called out on it at work. Hell, this is only the second hangover I've had in my entire life.

Important lesson learned. Stay away from grape-based wines. Period.

Current Lips: gold and black gradient blend

8:30pm: Our state fair is a great state fair
Howdy folks. I took a much-needed vacation day to go enjoy the biggest state fair in the country. And what a fun day it was. There was just so much to do! (And I would have stayed later and done even more, except 1) I have to go to work tomorrow. and 2) If I waited until that soccer game let out, it would probably be tomorrow by the time I got out of the parking lot. At which point, I might as well just drive to work.)

But here are the highlights of what I did do:

Let's have a looksee. A little look. And a little see.

I took in a lovely IMAX feature called Dinosaurs of Patagonia. It was a riveting documentary about the discovery of some of the world's largest dinosaurs in Argentina. And I toured the science museum afterward. It's probably the best IMAX feature I've seen at the fair in the past few years. It even featured a comic relief raptor. Yes... I swear, that dinosaur just seemed to be funny wherever it went.

There was the Pirates of the Caribbean Dive Show, which featured Olympic style dives from as high as eighty feet in the air. That was pretty neat.

I got a chance to see an exhibit on rock n' roll photojournalists. There were so many awesome pictures of rock stars, both on stage and candid shots. It was totally awesome.

The Birds of the World show was amazing as always. And this year, they had a bald eagle on display, in addition to Groucho, the singing parrot.

And of course, at the end of the day, we all gathered to watch the Starlight Parade.

No, I didn't try the fried butter.
Hell, you couldn't pay me to try the fried butter.

Most of what I ate was Greek food. I had a gyro for lunch, with a side of Jack's famous french fries. And I had spanikopita (spinach puff) for dinner. And even though, just like last year, I swore I was going to try alligator on a stick... I ended up not getting it. But I did get a funnel cake, complete with delicious baked apple topping... so I suppose that makes up for it.

I think the coolest thing I did get to try was Texas wine. I went to the wine tasting event, and sampled a wonderful cup of a blush wine from the Llano Winery. I asked for the sweetest thing they had, and they gave it to me. It was actually really good! And I'm not just saying that because they gave me enough to make me a little tipsy...

I won a turtle. His name is Karma.

The only ride I went on this year was the Tilt-a-whirl.
Well, unless you count the massage chair as a ride. Maybe I should. It lasted longer than most of the rides, and cost about the same amount as a ride...

Instead, I bought a game card for the midway, and played about $10 worth of games.

The first thing I did was a 'Guess your Age' booth. And I almost lost. Granted, I don't look my age. But there were several things I was doing/wearing that made it seem like I was older than I look. First, I decided to wear one of my old Trinity University t-shirts today. That dates me. Second, I had my own wallet and my own cell phone. Third, I was at the fair, by myself, on a week day, when, if I were a student, I should have been in class. At the same time, though, I wasn't at work either, which probably led him to think I had just graduated... Analysis aside, he said I was 23. He wasn't off by too much, but he was off by enough for me to win a prize! And I picked a cute stuffed tiger!

Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, the guy at the 'Guess your Age' booth charged me for two guesses instead of one, so I only had enough credits on my card for one more game (which I found out... at the next game...) And I chose a game of skill - darts.

Karma, though, was working on my side. Because I paid for three darts, but I ended up getting four. And you had to pop four balloons to win a large prize. I didn't get the fourth dart because of my sad story of getting ovvercharged at the 'Guess your Age' booth. I got it because I threw the dart, it hit the balloon, and then it bounced back. And it didn't just bounce off the balloon, either. It actually deflated it! The person running the game said he's NEVER seen THAT happen before. So I walked away with a stuffed turtle!!

I think that was the best part of the entire day.

Current Lips: black and white stripes

8:54am: abort, retry, program remote
Wow.

DirecTV updates their software at random times in the wee hours of the morning once every couple of months or so, and if you happen to be unlucky enough to be awake during that time, watching TV, and then decide to do something on the remote that might interfere with that software update (like turn it off, for example), you have to call DirecTV to manually send the re-authorization code for your satellite receiver.

Guess that means I know how late Mom was up last night...

Current Lips:black and white stripes

8:26am: I'm not used to this 'it works the first time' thing.
I've been working on a massive project at work, namely the project that required the actionscript class I took earlier this year. It's the biggest flash presentation I've ever built, and without a doubt, the most complicated too.

I turned it in for the first round of testing last week, and to my surprise, this is the conversation that followed:

"Works great. Good job. This is much better than last year's."
"Wait, so you're telling me that it worked like it was supposed to, there's nothing that needs to be fixed, and you liked it?!"
"Yes."
"You do realize that's an odd thing to hear. Considering how much we all had to go back and forth last year to troubleshoot."
"... If you want, I can find something for you to change so we can have a little back and forth?"
"No, I think I can learn to adjust."

No doubt about it now. Looks like the actionscript class was a wonderful investment after all!

In fact, I think I'll celebrate this accomplishment with a day at the State Fair of Texas. (Yes, that makes it sound spontaneous, doesn't it...)

Current Lips: black and white stripes

8:43pm: A stroke to the ego
I was browsing deviantart when I found this picture from AnimeFest.

And it had the following comments:
- Hahahahaahaaha, Kaiba's sign made me laugh out loud! That's so creative!!
- I know, at first i thought the person just had a broken arm and was just trying to tuff it out and go to the con but then i saw the sign

What a compliment!! I love it when people can't tell whether I designed the costume around an existing injury or whether it's all for show. It means I've done a good job!

I haven't been that amused since I found the picture of myself as the Dark Magician and that comment thread about whether I was male or female.. (The one where they guessed wrong...)

Current Lips: yellow with a black stripe

8:01pm: Pinky, are you laundering what I'm laundering?
I think so, Brain. But can you imagine Seto Kaiba going into a $1.49 Cleaners? Oh, what a hoot!

Actually, after a long conversation with my mother, we realized that my Seto Kaiba costume really does have to be dry cleaned. Neither the pants or the shirt can be washed. Not even by hand. Water would damage the buckles on the sleeves. And water's probably the reason why the pants dye my skin black if I don't wear leggings underneath them.

And that was only the tip of the detergent iceberg. (well, once I put aside the silly mental image of Seto Kaiba going to the cleaners...)

On Saturday, my mom taught me how to wash expensive blouses by hand. It's actually easier than I thought, and faster than I would have imagined. Plus, if I do it right, they'll last a lot longer and hold their color better than if I use a washing machine. All you need is a sink of warm water, a couple drops of dish soap, and a few squirts of shampoo.

Yes, shampoo! (Well, normal shampoo... not the kind with tea tree oil that I wash my hair with) I would have never thought to use shampoo for my laundry. But it takes those sweaty rings around the collar right off, and it does a wonder with sweaty armpits. Plus, since its scented, it makes the clothes smell extra nice.

Unfortunately, for every Brain moment, there's a Pinky moment.

Me: Do you think this one has to be dry-cleaned, or can it be washed by hand?
Mom: Actually, I've been meaning to tell you every time I've seen you wear it... I think that blouse buttons in the back.
Me: Wait... what?!
Mom: I think this one buttons in the back.
Me: I've buttoned it in the front every time I've worn it. For the past year!
Mom: well, it kind of works both ways. But look at the tag. It's meant to be buttoned in the back.
Me: *tries on blouse* Oh shit...
Mom: but it's really hard to button it in the back, so I can understand why you'd button it in the front. And to be honest, it looks all right buttoned in the front.
Me: I've been wearing this shirt backwards for over a year...
Mom: It might be reversible. It looks fine either way.
Me: Finally. Someone made clothes for someone with no fashion-direction sense!!

Current Lips: yellow with a black stripe

9:56pm: clicky clicky
Maybe it's a signal that I'm working too hard... but this game is really addicting.

I've been at it all night. I can get up to level 15 now!

Current Lips: yellow, red and black gradient blend

6:33am: Sometimes I wonder how much pain I'd feel if no one told me something was supposed to hurt.
I guess you know you're doing the right thing when...

Master: How's your shoulder?
Me: My shoulder?
Master: yeah. You got hit pretty hard with a thrust.
Me: I did?
Master: Yeah. Doesn't it hurt?
Me: No.
Master: ... it will.

By the time we took off our Kendo armor, sure enough, my arm hurt. I pulled up my sleeve, to reveal a nasty scrape about an inch and a half long.

I turned to my last opponent.

Me: This was from you?
Him: Yeah. It just missed the do. I thought I got you pretty hard, but you were really quiet...
Me: I never even noticed it...

In the end, my master said that's a good thing. It means I was completely focused in the fight and on what I was doing. That I took a powerful hit, didn't even notice it, and continued with an attack of my own.

He also said I need to work on my slipping, but that's another story.

Current Lips: yellow, red and black gradient blend

6:29am: Some things never change...
I'm back from my exciting trip to my best friend's house. The newborn baby was so cute. Her family, as per usual, were a combination of sweet and weird. We cooked. We played games. We enjoyed each other's company. And... boy, three and a half hours seems a lot longer on the way back down to Texas.

According to my best friend, the weekend could be summed up with the phrase, 'some things never change.' I would like to report that yes, some things never change. Other things do change. And if they do change, I am always, ALWAYS the last person to get the memo.

Some things never change...
I have the directional sense of a root vegetable. Of course I got lost.

I said I'd be there shortly after noon. It was one. My best friend was wondering... 'gee... I wonder if she got lost.' Sure enough, her phone rang. Her husband answered it, and I replied, 'I'm looooost...'

Fortunately, I only got lost after I tried to exit I-40 and get into Yukon. Well, I actually missed my exit, had to try to turn around. The next exit had construction, so it was a while before I could get back on the highway. Then I managed to get all turned around when I did exit. I stopped to get gas, went back the way I came, so I could go on the feeder road until it dead ends, except that it dead-ended right were I was, so I made another u-turn, ended up going the wrong direction. And technically, my best friend left out the one step in the directions... So it's not totally my fault.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Some things do change
Holy shit! I have maternal instincts! or You're good with kids! Even if you don't want to admit it.

It was my best friend's week to cantor at church. Since I really didn't have the patience or the desire to sit through three whole Catholic services in one weekend. (They say I'm a masochist, but even masochists have their limit.) So I stayed behind with her older sister to help her babysit both boys.

I roughhoused with her two-year-old, read him stories, really made him laugh. Okay, that part, I knew I could handle all right. Wearing a Mr. Potato Head police hat on your head and looking innocent is the easy part.

Taking care of the baby was something I wasn't too keen about. But he was crying, so her sister wanted me to feed him. I tried, but he didn't seem to want it. She kept telling me to force him, but he didn't want it. She said I had to, because you can't re-heat breast milk. I finally managed to convince her that the baby didn't want it. He wanted it later, though. And I fed him then. But she kept wanting me to get him to finish the bottle, even after he'd had enough.

Also, she warned me that he'd scream a lot. That part was true. And I don't think I was ever successful at burping him. But I was able to quiet him down. I took him around the house, bouncing him, and he was actually quiet!

I told my best friend everything that transpired once she got home. She said her sister tended to take everything by the book, since she took so many child development classes. Babies, unfortunately, don't read textbooks, so they don't know how to do everything by the book.
"Well, at least she has some knowledge, I don't have any. I was stuck doing this totally on..." I froze.
"Instinct?" my best friend finished the sentence for me.
"... You mean, I have maternal instinct??"
"Yup."
"Take the baby... I think I'm going to faint now."

if they do change, I am always, ALWAYS the last person to get the memo.
I didn't get a host. And I didn't get donuts. I got gipped.

The baptism was lovely, and so was the mass that preceded it. My best friend was cantoring and her husband is the music director... so when they perform together, it was spellbinding. Really, I've only seen a Wiccan high priestess command that kind of spiritual feeling with music before. It was beautiful!

Her whole family (plus me) got to take up the gifts in the middle of mass. It was my idea to let the two-year-old carry a basket of offerings. And the entire congregation (but especially the mom) got the biggest kick out of it.

And had that been the entire mass, I would have left with an appreciation of the service and a feeling of honor for having participated in such an important ritual in her life. Instead, I am made to question what their priest said to me when he met me for the first time, all those years ago. 'Here at St. Nepomuk, we welcome all kinds of people."

Guess not.

I walked up to receive communion, along with everybody else. Since technically, I was baptized, raised Catholic, and even confirmed, this isn't exactly a new experience for me. I know what's supposed to happen and when.

I held out my hands to receive the host. The priest just stared at me, confused for a moment. I looked at him, confused for a moment. And then he put his hand on my head and blessed me as though I were a child. He finished. And I still stood there, my hands out, waiting for the host. I stood there for a few moments, looking at him very strangely. He just glared at me. And, being very confused, walked over to the chalice. The lady looked at me funny, probably because she was watching what happened just to her right, but I still got to drink from it.

At the end of mass, my best friend came over to apologize for what happened. Turns out, the following conversation happened earlier in the week -

"Oh, your best friend is coming up for the baptism. Is she the god mother?" the priest asked.
Her husband replied, "No. She's not really a practicing Catholic anymore. My younger sister is the god mother."

At that church, if you're not an active, practicing Catholic, you aren't supposed to receive communion. And in the eyes of the church, I'm not Catholic anymore. They knew it. The priest knew it. But dammit, nobody bothered to tell ME that I'm not Catholic anymore!!

Part of me is actually offended. And it's not easy to offend me. Yes, I might not consider myself Catholic anymore. I've found other forms of spirituality more akin to what I actually believe. But I came to the mass and baptism out of respect for my best friend. I may not agree with her religion, but I honor her beliefs nonetheless, and I honor that she wishes to make spirituality a part of her son's life. Because of that, I feel that I have just as much right to participate in the rituals as everyone else there. And no one, especially a priest, has the right to say I'm not good enough. This is one of the biggest reasons why I don't consider myself Catholic anymore in the first place.

Oh well... reverence and mirth. Reverence and mirth...

Current Lips: white, yellow and black gradient blend

8:02pm: The greatest gift in life... is having her as a friend.
Ah... my bags are packed, the presents are wrapped and I burned an entire CD of awesome Road Trip songs. Tomorrow, I leave for Oklahoma, to go visit my best friend. Her second born son is having his baptism and baby shower (they have a habit of having the kids before they get a chance to have a shower...) and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

She is, and will always be, my best friend. We shared everything together, the good times and the bad times.

Top 10 Best Friend Memories:

10. You know someone's your best friend when they're still your best friend after you give them a black eye.
If that's the acid test of friendship, then ours passed with flying colors. We were in high school at the time, having a sleepover. I had a full sized bed, so we both slept on it. To this day, we don't know who started it, but somewhere in the middle of the night, someone kicked someone else. And that other person kicked back. Apparently, we traded blows for a while, kick after kick. There was just one catch... She was awake and getting annoyed. I was completely asleep. Finally, she gave me a good hard kick in the legs. I followed it with a backfist to the face. When I woke up the next morning, she was on the floor with a blanket and a black eye. She was mad at first, but when she realized that I was telling the truth, and that I had absolutely no idea what happened... we still get a good kick out of that one.

9. The phone is merely an extension of your ear.
We used to talk on the phone for hours every single night. The conversations ranged from fortune telling games, to sharing our adventures, to advice about guys, school, extracurricular activities we were both in. She got me through some rough times, and I got her through some tough relationships.
And sometimes, the phone would sit in the couch for hours, with or without her there. Yes, her younger brother used to have a habit of hiding it from her and not letting her know someone had called. He has since matured, of course. Last I heard, he was overseas in Germany, serving in the military.

8. The vacation to Lake Jackson
I think it was our sophomore year in high school. My family went down to visit my grandmother in Lake Jackson, and my best friend came with us. We spent the entire week having fun on the river, going to malls, going fishing, and just goofing off. We also bonded over our hatred of a particular mosquito that kept hiding in our room and biting us. We named him Jeordie/Geordi. (It sounds the same, but obviously one was named after Marilyn Manson's bassist, Twiggy, and the other after an engineer on Star Trek: the Next Generation.)

7. The Murder Mystery Party was just the beginning.
Her sisters planned a Murder Mystery Party for her when we were back in high school. They drew everybody's parts out of a bag, and I ended up being the drunk. Needless to say, this is when I learned that I have no acting skills, unless I'm trying to be drunk or be dead. And it served as the blueprint when I planned a murder mystery party for one of my own students this year!
And this was just one of the many parties we shared together. There was broomball on ice, medieval times, Paint n Party, NASCAR simulators at the Galleria. We were always coming up with something. Even now, when she comes through town, we always do lunch, or dinner, or dessert, or whatever we can think of.

6. You stuck up, half-wit, scruffy-looking nerfherder!
My best friend also takes the credit for getting me interested in Star Wars. And it was a love we shared for years to come - watching movies, playing Star Wars monopoly, the Star Wars customizable card game... But my favorite time was Halloween.
On multiple Halloweens, we'd get together and go to parties dressed up as Jedi. She was always Princess Leia. Her hair was long enough to pull off the donuts on the side of her head. I usually dressed as a dark Jedi, a Dark Lady of Sith, if you will. The costume happened to double as Mary Magdalene if you happen to be going to a religious party BEFORE the Star Wars trick-or-treating session.

5. Vroom Vroom, checkered flag!
Something else she introduced me to was NASCAR. We used to sit on the phone together and watch races every Sunday, cheering for Jeff Gordon. While I can't watch every race anymore, it's still one of my favorite sports!
And her second born... can you believe this? Born on the exact same day as Jeff Gordon! It's fate, I tell you. Fate.

4. The birth of her first baby
Hilariously, it happened just a few days before the scheduled baby shower. So when I got up to Oklahoma, I got to hold a baby that was just days old! Can't say I've ever had that experience before. And it'll probably be a very very long time before I have it again.
But it was such an enjoyable weekend. I remember walking around her new neighborhood, watching movies late into the night, and getting mistaken at a fast food restaurant as the mother of the days-old infant. My best friend was a little taken aback by that... 'Does she LOOK like she JUST HAD A CHILD?!' We laughed about that for a while.

3. My Best Friend's Wedding
It was such a lovelly ceremony. The entire weekend was just filled with so many memories - her vows, her co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party in which I spent a considerable amount of time on the couch because I'd gotten sick from the kiwi-passion fruit liquor she bought, the reception with the Almighty Cheetos Cards. I was honored to be her maid of honor. And I hope that someday, when it's my turn to walk down the aisle, that she will serve as my matron of honor.

2. How we met.
We met at All Region choir in 7th grade, when she came up to me asking for directions. Granted, I have the directional sense of a root vegetable, but that didn't hamper us starting up a conversation. We bonded over a shared pizza lunch, our favorite episodes of Power Rangers and our mutual crush on Jason David Frank. I think that's the last time we ever had the same taste in men. How were we to know then, that our friendship would develop into a lifelong bond...

1. The memories we're going to make in the future.
Because, face it. There's gonna be some great ones!

Current Lips: gold and silver gradient blend

6:24am: Some days you're the Samouri, some days you're the target.
I don't think I've had a night this off my game in months. Every time someone rose their sword to fake, I met it, leaving myself wide open. Every time they lowered theirs, I fell for it, leaving myself wide open. And every single opponent took advantage of that, naturally. Hell, I would too.

Oh well, at least there's still a little arm on my bruises.

And that will make for some good conversation when I go up to see my best friend and her new baby tomorrow.

Ow... my elbow hurts.

Current Lips: gold and silver gradient blend

8:55pm: Okay, where are the four cameramen of the apocalypse?
It must be the end of the world. There's no other logical explanation.

I, on my own power, and being of as sane mind as I can usually muster on a weekend, watched a movie. And then, tonight, I watched another movie.

In the span of a weekend, I have watched more movies than I usually do in three to four months.

Creepy.

Current Lips: black, white and red stripes