| 8:26a |
dreams
I have been having really weird dreams lately. Don't know what they are trying to tell me, but, I am trying to figure it out. Last night I had a dream about mother having another child at her age, knowing that will never happen, I went to a school, two level to try and reach out for you to talk to you, crying.
I have been thinking that maybe mom is starting to have alzimers, you know. She constantly repeats things and meeting with her for lunch and talking to her, I just get that feeling, maybe the dream is a sign that I soon will have to take care of her. In one of our conversations in the past, she mentioned that after she is gone, we will have to clean up after her, her house, and her financials. I don't think she knew what she was saying, but I got the picture clearly, I will have to take care of it all (or so it feels like that) Maybe the baby was about mom turning into a baby, because I feel like she is, or over time will be someone who will need looking after and with her, she has no plans for anything, nothing and that bothers me alot. I know by the time I start going out of my mind, I won't leave my girls to take care of me.
See today we are going to meet mom for lunch, when I say we the twins are on track break again, and therefore they will go with. They are dressing alike even down to the hair to try and confuse mom, in all honesty it won't take much even if they were to dress differently, she still wouldn't be able to tell them apart and I don't think she cares enough to get to know them enough to tell them apart.
Speaking about moms, it has now been 2 months since S moved out and not once has the hubby's mother called the girls or anything, what a shitty thing to do to the girls, now they know that it was all about S to begin with and I won't say anything differently to them if they should ask.
This weekend is going to get crazy for us all and I think I am going to enjoy it all. Tonight we have to an awards assembly for A1, she is getting some awards, tomorrow night will also be a first for A1, she will be going on her 1st date, you see it is the 8th grade dance. Tomorrow she along with another couple will have one of ther parents drive them to an expensive restaruant and then take them to the dance. She says he is a friend and I believe that to be true, but you have to wonder if she will receive her first kiss tomorrow night or not. We will have to see.
The hubby's plan is back firing on him with A1, she will open up to me more then she will him and that is great for me. I know down the road A2 & 3 will do the same.
Well, I need to vacuum the house and get some cleaning done before I meet mom, so I have to go. I love you and miss you very much. I will talk to you soon. |