| 2:05p |
don't have much time
I guess I have been busy and really lazy. I don't feel the motivation I should, I just can't seem to bring myself to do much. Some days I can just sit on my ass and think ok, that day I didn't do shit, then the next day I do one or two things then I think I am over worked. Which I am not, lets make that clear, infact I really need a hobby, because I feel I will just get fat and am bored. Today took 3 dogs to the vet, I guess we are running in cycles. It can be a big job but it doesn't last long. I guess what I am getting at is I feel useless. I haven't read anymore this past week, I guess I am getting lazy with that. You know if I could unpack boxes or even go through them and get rid of alot, maybe then I would feel helpful at least. I guess the thing is, when I am home which is a whole bunch, I feel overcome with taking care of these dogs, yet I dont want to go out and spend money, so the lesser of the 2 would be home and save money. I need a hobby badly!
So how are you doing, I can see that you have been busy, I'm sure you are. I will be sending you a card soon, and it will have the necklace from mom. You know I got with her for lunch last week and she is looking older and older everytime I see her. She just doesn't take care of her self, like she should. I am learning alot about myself from this self matters book and see things for what they were when I was a child. Watching these two grow up reminds me so much of you and I growing up. I will be sending you pictures with the card.
I really need a purpose with my life, I haven't found it yet and am hoping that after I truly find myself, I will know what my purpose is, I guess I just feel lost right now.
The hubby and I am doing good, you know, even when we disagree, I don't step down on what I believe, and you know if I have to tell him that he isn't always right and doesn't know all, I do now. I am glad that I did not give up on us, I know we have alot to work out, but we are getting better as a couple.
You know A1 is going through that teenager stage, it is all about her. She is doing great in school, and with sports, but when she doesn't get her way, she gets pissy. This weekend she will be going to Disneyland with the 8th grade class, we have to have her to the school by 3am and she will return about 1 am the following morning. she will have fun, I know this and I know she is excited because we won't be there. When we first heard of this trip, I told her I would check with the school about going with to be a chaparone, and she told me not to. I know she is embarassed of me, but I guess it is nothing like we were of mom. She came to me one day and asked me if I could do her homework and I looked at it and said NO. You wouldn't believe what she was doing in math, it looked so hard and I felt so stupid, I know she felt smart and that I guess is what is important.
Well I have to go and change out dogs, I love you and will talk to you soon. Write when you can. |