| 7:53a |
just a few thoughts
Well alot of water has gone over the bridge since I last wrote. This morning I will set up an appointment for A2 to see that nero., I spoke to A2 yesterday and she doesn't care if tests are run. The referral that they wrote kinda pissted me off, it says that she has a developmental delay, which is bullshit, my girl gets A's & B's in school and is very smart, loves to read, etc., I will be sure to let this doctor know how I feel about that. But at least we will find out if she is a daydreamer.
I will also set up an appointment for my self to see a radiologist to have an ultrasound done. I went to the doctor on wednesday to have my yearly done and he said I have an enlarged uterus, he said it could be scare tissue from the c-section that I had, but it was better to haave it checked out. So we will see. It is hard to believe that the girls are going to be 11 this monday. 11 and they are my youngest of the 3. am I getting old or what.
I don't know where we are in our relationship after last sunday, everything is fine between us, but that can change at any minute. The hubby said he wasn't going to go anymore to A1's ball games, well I knew that wasn't true, he won't miss one of her games, he can be so full of shit, he went on wednesday and he will go again today, who had the last laugh there, Ha Ha. I know him alot better then he thinks I do.
You know I do have one good thing to report, I have lost about 10 pounds since we have been here, went from a size 8 to size 6 in pants, that is a nice feeling again, I still want to lose another 5 to 10. The hubby is going to do nutrisystem and he asked if I wanted to do it also, I told him no, if I want it bad enough, I will stop eating all the shit I do and exercise more, I exercise at least 3 times a week for 20 minutes so I am good. I can do it on my own and I will do it, I want to lose at least 5 more before we move back. which brings me too....
We might have found a house to rent and maybe down the road, years down the road, buy. See our old vet, her father has a house in the district that we want and it is too big for him, he too has 3 girls and they are all grown up and moved out, her mother died 10 years back in the city and so it is just him. We are hoping that he will rent it out for 800 to a thousand, that is what we will need to pay to make it. We won't have any other bills because we will file for bankruptcy, so hopefully this will pan out. I will tell you a little about the house now. It sits on 15 acres, has 3 barns, 2 ponds and is in the country, just like we want. It is about 3500 sq. ft (huge house) has at least 4 bedrooms in the main portion of the house, 4 car garage, and this you will love a guest house, storm shelter and one last thing an in ground pool. This man, isn't hurting for money and our vet says it needs so cosmetic work done, but is completely livable. So we paint a few bathroom and bedrooms, that would be so worth it. So I told the hubby to put the vibes out to have the rent for 800 and that way we can afford it. He has a job lined up, it won't take me long to find one in town or even in another town, so we will see. It sounds like what we need. all the dogs can go out into the barn and we will have a select few in the house, the good ones, but I will be so much more happier. I told him if we go back, things would be done so differently and they will, if we don't have money in the bank, it doesn't get bought. plain and simple. I am excited about moving back for one reason and that is you being closer, I am happy too because the girls want it badly, or should I say the twins do, A1 is on the fence about it, she has friends here, on the BB team and some days she wants to go and other days she doesn't. But with her, she lives in the moment and for that, she will want to go because she can have horses again, and that is what she really wants. She will play on the BB team there, thats a given and there she can be a cheerleader too, since it is a small school. It will be better for the girls all around. We would live the simple life once again. One thing I do know, money won't buy you happiness.
This summer we will go, I think the hubby is going to talk to his sister about taking "S" with us, that would be alright too, she is a good kid and fits in perfectly with our family, I call her one of my own anyway. I know that his parents and probably her mom, will protest but as for his parents, if her mom says yes then it won't matter what they think. You know we were talking about his parents the other day because his mother pissted me off at the ball game, because "s" went and stayed the night with her mother and had 7 peices of toast for breakfast and I told "S" in a scarstic voice, what a nutrious breakfast that was and his mother jumped on me saying that wasn't her fault and told S that I was joking! Really I wasn't, S has to take some responceabilty for hewr actions, besides since she has lived with us, she has lost about 25-30 pounds and now looks really good, and that is because of us, not her. When S was living with her, she gained that weight, so I wanted to tell her to shut up. The hubby brought up a good point also, he asked me if she has ever thanked me for what I do for S, I told him that his dad has, but can't remember her ever saying that. I know why that is, she feels she should be raising her and not us, she feels jipped in this whole thing, S was taken from her and so with that, poor S has a place up her ass for life. If it doesn't work out that S goes with us, then she will get her wish, she will move back in with grandma and grandpa. You know another thing is, if it weren't for S, she would have nothing to do with our girls, grandpa would, but she wouldn't, now that is sad but it is the truth. Well I have to go now and set up some appointments, I love you and miss you and can't wait to be closer to you. talk to you soon. |