| 7:40a |
What a week
I know I have not wrote in this for a week, that's because I couldn't find time to do it without anyone seeing me. I guess you can say it has been a slow week for the hubby. As of march 1st we will be on our own. The money situation hasn't changed and yesterday we got paid and it was alot less then what we need for the house payment I'm not sure what we will do. I guess we will see come the 15th.
One big change was him, I guess the talk we had last Sunday made a huge difference with him. I guess he realized how serious our situation was. I started to notice the changes on monday, he didn't name call one person, he didn't indimidate me or make me feel inferior to him one time this week and because of that he got a different person from me. I guess he knows now that his attitude makes this house. On wednesday I was cleaning up the dishes after dinner and when I looked over A3 was sitting on his right, A2 on his left and S was on the floor in front of him, that I have not seen in years. I didn't bud in, I let the girls enjoy the moment they have wanted for so long, just to be next to him for awhile. I guess you can say it has been the nicest week we all have had in forever. We had a date night and it was really nice for a change. I hope this continues for us all, I know we will struggle with some things, but I think he finally got it. I talked to his mother over the wek and told her about our conversation that the 2 of us had and she said that that hit him in the heart and would hurt and that is why he is changing. I was hoping that he had it in him and I hope it continues, if it doesn't there will be no hope for us to stay together.
HE keeps talking about moving back to that state this summer, he looks daily at houses back there, I know he wants it for the girls, I am not so sure I want it. He knows that and he knows how serious I am about it. I know he has a job waiting, I don't but wouldn't have a problem even if we did. Im still not sure what we would do about our financials or home here, I know we are so broke, it's not even funny. What we will do, I have faith that we will have an answer.
The girls are much happier now that changes have been made between us, you can see and feel it in them. You don't walk on pins and needles around here. I really can't tell you how much things have changed here, I wouldn't lie to you, but they have. It surprised me just as much as it will surprise you when you read this. I hope things don't go back to the way they were, but if the do, You will be the first to know. I know you will understand, I know you want me to be happy and this week was a good start. I love you sis and miss you so much. Please understand, I don't want to fail, I do love him, and I was hoping that he would see that, and I think he finally does, and with that, I hope he doesn't go back to the way he was, because if he does then there is no future for us. Love you |