| 10:11a |
The talk happened
It was saturday night, I finally asked him and he told me exactly what I thought he would, I was better off with out him and added in the trailer talk and how it was me that needed to change, how maybe for once I could take the blame for the way things are between us. I asked again about counseling and he said no, he would never and that would give me my excuse on the way out, "he didn't want to get counseling". It was very hard to take needless to say. He has no idea that I would not remain in this state if we did part ways. I think he thinks I would, but I wouldn't. I would want more for my girls then this. And the thing he doesn't understand, is if I let go, I can't grab onto it again, I won't.
Well it looks like we will be able to make the mortage, his parents gave us money for "S", they normally do every month and they have no idea, that that made it for us. How the others will get paid, I don't know, the hubby will have to do something.
At the end of this month we will no longer be in business with his friend. We are going out on our own, his business partner is so stupid sometimes. These past paychecks, this shit head knew it didn't even cover our mortage payment and a few days later he wants the business to buy a new truck. THe hubby said are you crazy, we can't even get decent pay checks and you want ot add on more expenses. See this idiot, his truck is falling apart, speedometer doesn't work and has dents in it and I know his wife bitched to him about it and so he figured with having the hubby as a partner he would have to get his ok to get a new truck and the hubby said no and then that day was when he told him, after this month they would no longer be in business.
As for dad and asking for advice, I told the hubby I was going to do that and even maybe ask for a loan and he said no not to do that. See in the descussion that he had he told me he had thought about asking his dad to co-sign a large loan to take all y debt and that way, I could start over free and clear. You know I don't understand why I don't want to be alone, I know I wouldn't I would be with you and the girls and family, but I guess I am trying to make things work sometimes I can't even answer my own question of "WHY?"
Hey have to go the the bank and post office, I will talk to you soon. Love and miss you. |