| 9:16a |
Not sure what to say
Well since I spoke with you on the phone, I have been wanting to write in this, but I was not sure what I was going to say. I know what you said and i don't have much of a back bone anymore. I know you won't read this until after you get home from vacation, so I'm sure while you are here, we will talk again.
He says he is going to leave town. After such a hard weekend with him and still he continues to talk about it, as far as I feel, he should just let it go and be done with it. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO!!!!! He says he has so many more important things to worry about, the house closing in both states, a way to make enough in order to pay the damn bills and his spending habits. Any way, that is how he feels, not sure how I feel anymore. I know if I disagree with him, then it is wrong and I even told him that, and it doesn't matter.
You know with him leaving town, he said he might even take an extra week to be gone, for him to get over this. What the hell is there to get over, you don't have to go. He said that the girls and are are only family when it is convenient to us, what a crock of shit. Our lives have been nothing more then what he wants and his thoughts. No one in this house can do or even think about doing something without his OK, and it shouldn't be like that. I get so angry and even now, I am angry with the way he treats me and the girls.
He will repeat over that we are not his kind, and that he doesn't belong, that is his choice. As you know I have revolved my entire life around him. You suck for being so selfish and so mentally abusive. HE has told me and the girls that we do things to make us look like trailer trash, so what we left dishes in the damn sink, you don't do shit in this house but drop your stuff and leave it, I PICK IT UP. Shame on you for telling the girls that we are making it feel as though you don't want to come, don't you ever say something like that to them, it will hurt there feelings.
I am angry with him and I have not gotten over it since the weekend. I think what I will do is write him a letter and keep it with me, because he says he is leaving town for the weekend or for an additional week, because he might not be over it yet, maybe then, he will read my letter and one of 2 things will happen, it will either bring us together or drive us even further apart. I think it is time for Dr. Phil's relationship resuce book, I need to find that and unpack that, to hide it from the children and his friends I will put a book cover over it.
I love you sis, and I can't wait to see you soon. |