| 10:55a |
Dreaming again
Boy it happened again, the dreams seem to be so vivid and in details and when I remember them in the morning, it seems as though I think about them all day, then I start thinking about other things in realation to my dreams. I know it is not right, and like you said Ruby, I would never act on it so why are they still happening. This man, let's call him "Mr. L", he is mature, has 2 girls, he's not bad looking, great to my girls and family. Funny and nice. He is single and I know that plays apart in it, Let me remind you I would never act upon anything that I would dream about, but the dreams won't stop.
Last nights dream we all went somewhere, his kids and mine and I not sure of all the details but the kids were off playing or doing something and he kissed me, I told him not to, it wasn't right but then we were all outside in the yard that had a pool and I was in a bikini, the kids were hunting easter eggs then I went into the house and he started to compliment me on how beautiful I was. One thing led to another and he had he hands on me, touching me where he shouldn't have. Then it stopped and we were in another palce and were all packing up the car up and I told him we can't do this and he said he already new me and my body and he couldn't help himself, the attraction was too great. Then I woke up.
Once we were at a party and my husband said lets play a joke, we had friends in from out of town and he introduced them to "Mr. L" and them my husband says, have you met my wife, he turns and says in front of my husband, oh this beautiful lady, she doesn't get a hand shake she gets a hug. Then there was another time when he helped my husband out with a project and another one of our friends stopped by and the 3 of them got to talking and a day or so later, this 3rd gentlemen came over for dinner with his wife and said I should be so pleased because I received a great compliment, it was something like this "Mr. L" said that my husband was so lucky to have me and how beautiful I was and he should never let me go because he would be there. I can understand why my husband never told me that, he thinks I feed off compliments and I sometimes wonder if its true. I guess I don't get them hardly anymore and the few I do, I don;t forget. Since that day, I think my husband trys to avoid any contact between the 3 of us, even if were all together. Like for instant, last week we had a ball game and before the game we had noticed he also was there and my husband told me to go take the twins to the other field to there team while he goes to talk to "Mr. L", now we were so early for the game nobody was even there yet. My husband has done that a few times now, so how would you take it.
I guess sometimes I feel as though I am a bad wife, because I think of other men, even actors, but the ones that aren't and are in my here and now life make me uncomfortable, becausse I feel as though my husband came read my mind and he will know and that would not be a good thing. Is it normal to think about other men, and I know I would never act upon it, but the thoughts won't go away and that makes me very nervous.
I will update more later, I have to go get my nails done..... |