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[10 Jan 2006|07:25am] |
SOLOIST-
Whatever happened to Saturday night
When you dressed up sharp
And you felt alright
It don't seem the same since cosmic light
Came into my life and I thought I was divine.
Hot patootie
Bless my soul
ALL-
I really love that rock and roll
Hot patootie
Bless my soul
I really love that rock and roll
JANET-
Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful. Didn't
Betty look radiantly beautiful? Just an hour ago she was plain old
Betty Monroe. Now she's Mrs. Ralph Hapschatt.
BRAD- Hey Janet.
JANET- Yes Brad.
BRAD- I’ve got something to say.
JANET- Uh huh?
BRAD- THE RIVER WAS DEEP BUT I SWAM IT
ALL- JANET
BRAD- THE FUTURE IS OURS SO LET’S PLAN IT
ALL- JANET
BRAD- SO PLEASE DON’T TELL ME TO CAN IT
ALL- JANET
BRAD- I’VE ON THING TO SAY AND THAT’S DAMMIT, JANET. I LOVE YOU
HERE’S A RING TO PROVE THAT I’M NO JOKER
DAMMIT, JANET. I LOVE YOU
JANET- OH BRAD
BRAD- OH DAMMIT
JANET- I’M MAD
BRAD- OH JANET
JANET- FOR YOU
TRANSITION (while singing, the castle is constructed and Brad and Janet are in a car)
ALL-
SCIENCE FICTION, DOUBLE FEATURE
DR. X WILL BUILD A CREATER
(Driving.)
JANET- What's the matter Brad, darling?
BRAD- I think we took the wrong fork a few miles back.
JANET- Oh Dear! (BANG) What was that bang?
BRAD- We must have a blow-out. You'd better sit here and keep warm
while I go for help.
JANET- Where will you go? We’re in the middle of nowhere.
BRAD- Didn’t we pass a castle a few miles back? Maybe they have a phone I can use.
JANET- I’m coming with you.
JANET- (singing)
In the velvet darkness
Of the blackest night
Burning bright
There's a guiding star
BRAD AND JANET- There's a light
CHORUS- Over at the Frankenstein place
RIFF RAFF- Hello.
BRAD- Hi there, uh, our car broke down two miles back, do you have a telephone we might use…?
RIFF RAFF- You’re wet. I think you better come inside.
JANET- You’re too kind.
RIFF RAFF- You’ve arrived on rather a special night, the master is having one of his affairs.
(singing)
I REMEMBER DOING THE TIME WARP
DRINKING THOSE MOMENTS WHEN
THE BLACKNESS WOULD HIT ME
AND THE VOID WOULD BE CALLING
ALL
LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN
LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN
RIFF RAFF-
ITS JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT
ALL-
AND A STEP TO THE RIGHT
RIFF RAFF-
PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HIPS
ALL-
YOU BRING YOUR KNEES IN TIGHT
BUT ITS THE PELVIS THRUST
THAT STARTS TO DRIVE YOU INSANE
LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN
JANET- It seems so unhealthy here. I want to go
BRAD- We cant go anywhere until I get a phone.
(FRANK APPEARS)
FRANK-
HOW DO YOU DO
DON’T GET STRUNG OUT BY THE WAY I LOOK
DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER
IM NOT MUCH OF A MAN
BUT THE LIGHT OF DAY
BUT BY NIGHT IM ONE HELL OF A LOVER
IM JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE
FROM TRANSSEXUAL
TRANSYLVANIA.
SO COME UP TO THE LAB
AND SEE WHAT’S ON THE SLAB
IM JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE
FROM TRANSSEXUAL
TRANSYLVANIA
(Servants undress Brad and Janet. They are reduced to 50’s under where)
COLOMBIA- You’re very lucky to be invited up to Frank’s laboratory.
MAGENTA- A lot of people would give their right arm for the privilege.
JANET- People like you maybe.
MAGENTA- I’ve seen it.
(They go to Frank’s lab)
FRANK- Tonight Brad and Janet, you are to witness a new breakthrough in Biochemical research and paradise is to be mine…
My beautiful creature is destined to be born. Throw open the switches on the Sonic Oscillator!
(Rocky, a buff, beautiful man enters. He continuously flirts with Janet throughout the rest of the play)
FRANK-
HE ATE NUTRITIOUS HIGH-PROTEIN
AND SWALLOWED RAW EGGS
HE DONE PUSH UPS AND CHIN UPS
WHEN IN JUST SEVEN DAYS
I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN
(Scene changes while Frank sings the following line)
I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN
(Janet’s bedroom)
JANET- (cuddling with Frank) Oh Brad (kiss) Yes my darling
FRANK- Everything is going to be alright Janet.
JANET- I hope so darling. (notices its frank) You! You beast! You monster!
(scene changes to Brad’s room as Frank sings)
FRANK-
I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN
(Brad’s room)
FRANK- (cuddling with Brad) Oh Brad (kiss) Yes my darling.
BRAD- Everything is going to be alright Janet.
FRANK- I hope so my darling. (kiss)
(Janet walks in on them kissing)
JANET-Oh Brad, how could you?! (she runs out of the room and sees Rocky)
ROCKY-Is it true you don’t like men with too many muscles? (as he flexes)
JANET- (she sees how attractive he is and in a flirty manner replies with) Well…(Rocky kisses her)
JANET- (singing)
TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME
I WANT TO BE DIRTY
THRILL ME CHILL ME FULFILL ME
CREATURE OF THE NIGHT
(Frank sees Janet singing and dancing awfully close to Rocky)
FRANK-Rocky!(in anger) I think I’m going to… (looks at Janet) You! Riff Raff, set the sonic transducer to program 8 and secure all levels at zero. (Riff Raff looks at him like he’s crazy)
JANET- You mean, you’re going to send us to another planet?
FRANK- You’d better believe, baby.
(singing)
PLANET SHMANET JANET
TELL YOU ONCE
WONT TELL YOU TWICE
YOU’D BETTER WISE UP JANET WEISS
(Janet looks at Brad in fear)
JANET- Say Something Brad!
BRAD-I’m here Janet. There’s nothing to worry about.(really dramatic) Dammit Janet! I love you! (kiss)
FRANK-
DON’T GET HOT AND FLUSTERED
USE A BIT OF MUSTARD
(as the ensemble sings, Frank starts killing them off)
ALL-
YOU’RE A HOT DOG
BUT YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO HURT HER
FRANK FURTER
RIFF RAFF- (pointing laser gun at Frank)
YOU’RE A HOT DOG
BUT YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO HURT HER
FRANK FURTER
RIFF RAFF- Now Frank-N-Furter, you’re time has come.
JANET- That’s a laser!
FRANK-Do you worst, inferior one.
(Riff shoots at Frank, he ducks, and the laser hits Colombia. Frank is next to be shot, followed by Rocky)
JANET- You’ve killed them.
RIFF RAFF- Yes. A decision had to be made. Back to the planet of transsexual!
MAGENTA- Ah Sweet Transsexual… And our world will do the Time Warp again.
MAGENTA AND RIFF RAFF-
ITS THAT PELVIS RUSH
THAT REALLY DRIVES YOU INSANE
ALL-
LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN
MAGENTA-
I FEEL SO DREAMY
OH FANTASY FREE ME
ALL-
LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN
RIFF RAFF-
ITS ASTOUNDING, TIME IS FLEETING
MAGENTA AND RIFF RAFF-
MADNESS TAKES ITS TOLL
RIFF RAFF-
ITS JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT
ALL-
AND A STEP TO THE RIGHT
RIFF RAFF-
PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HIPS
ALL-
YOU BRING YOUR KNEES IN TIGHT
BUT ITS THE PELVIS THRUST
THAT STARTS TO DRIVE YOU INSANE
LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN
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