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Monday, December 1st, 2008
kikinryan
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12:42p
I think I might be pregnant again. Kinda feeling sick, and extremely tired. I took a test the other day and it was negative, but I'm thinking I should wait at least til the 15 of Dec before I take another one since that's the day I'm suppose to get my period. I'm crossing my fingers, I REALLY want this. Also I cannot believe that Hannah is going to be 21 months tomorrow... where did the time go?
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(comment on this)
secrethoughts
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10:09a
Journaling
Yesterday, D made me breakfast, so there was a small change in breakfast.
Breakfast: 1 1/2 low cal bagels (150), cream cheese (100?), coffee
Bvg: Orange juice
Lunch: 1 salmon roll, 4 pieces of California roll
Snack: 1 small piece broccoli quiche
Dinner: Barilla plus pasta with lentils, roasted eggplant, tomatoes, lentils, and lean turkey sausage
Today:
Breakfast: 2 packs whole grain sugar free oatmeal
Bvg: Orange juice
Lunch: Veg chick pattie on diet bread
Snack: 1 tiny piece broccoli quiche
Dinner: Bacon mushroom burger, 1/2 order of fries, 3 boneless wings, low sodium V8
I'm abstaining from ordering cheese on my burger, and I'm not eating the cheese fries that the guys are ordered. I'll allow myself three of the boneless wings and half of my fries.
I walked for about 30 minutes outside yesterday and today, so I'm doing well on the activity challenge.
I feel like this is a super lot of food. Ugh. I'll weigh in tomorrow to see how I'm doing.
Last night she slept for like six hours straight. It was amazing.
My winter order of goodies came in: one order of gorgeous black boots, some cute gloves, a killer scarf/wrap, and a cute grey coat. I'm officially done spending on myself, but I love everything I got. Yay!
current mood:  okay
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(1 comment | comment on this)
thinandhealthy
[ ohaiyogozaimasu ]
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8:03a
A little help!
Since we're doing the activity challenge this week, does anyone know of any good articles about what to eat post workout? I've been finding a lot of mismatching info on the internet.
Thanks!
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(2 comments | comment on this) Sunday, November 30th, 2008
thinandhealthy
[ healthy ]
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6:57p
Activity Challenge!
The holiday season is officially upon us! While that means fun, friends, and family, it also poses a bit of a challenge to those who are actively trying to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight. Even the most disciplined person sometimes has an extra helping of Aunt Ruth's famous pie or over indulges at the buffet at the company holiday party, and that....is precisely what this challenge is all about!
This week's challenge is to get 30 minutes of activity, 5 days a week.
Staying active will help to burn those extra calories and will help to reduce holiday stress.
The rules are simple....it can be any kind of activity, whether it be something that is technically exercise like running, walking, lifting, pilates, or it can be something like cleaning the house. It can be all at once, or it can be accumulated throughout the day. Write it down to make sure you get your time in!
Here are some suggestions to get you started:
-Do toning moves during commercial breaks... given that there are so many commercials, that time really adds up!
-Park far away while you do your holiday shopping.
-Take a walk during lunch.
-Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
-Take your dog for an extra loop on your walk.
The challenge starts tomorrow and will last for one week (unless the participants would like it to go for two weeks).
Who's in????
current mood:  chipper
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(6 comments | comment on this)
secrethoughts
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6:33p
i lied
Okay. So I lied.
I weighed myself today.
Of course I did it stupidly, at like 5pm, after I had eaten, not first thing in the AM, which is usually more advisable.
So here's the thing. When I became pregnant, I was a bit above what I consider to be a good weight. It was right after the holidays, and I had gained a few, and I was trying to be a bit more lenient with my diet as I was trying to get pregnant.
I have already lost about 25 lbs post delivery; granted, 8 1/2 lbs of it is sitting comfortably in my lap. I need to lose about 25-30 lbs to get to where I was when I conceived (I gained like 5lbs within the first 6 weeks of pregnancy, so my doc says I gained one amount because they have what I weighed at like 6-8 weeks pregnant- I feel that I gained five more than that.), and I need to lose about 10 on top of that to get to what I consider my ideal weight.
So there it is.
I need to lose 35-40lbs.
I will start weighing in twice a week, Wednesday and Saturday, first thing in the morning.
My first goal: 5 lbs in 2 weeks.
Next goal: 10 lbs by New Years Eve.
Food journaling starts tomorrow.
Tomorrow's plan:
Bfast: Egg on diet toast, calc ium fortified OJ
Lunch: Veg chik pattie in diet bread, low sodium V8
Snack: Banana
Snack: Salmon sushi roll
Dinner: Chicken, rice, carrots
By my estimate, that's about 1600-1700 calories, including condiments, olive oil, everything. Apparently, in order to maintain my milk supply, I need 1500-1800 calories a day. I'm going to write down everything to make sure I stay right in that range so I don't under or over eat.
I know there's not much in the way of dairy here, but no worries. I'm taking calcium supplements.
current mood:  determined
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(7 comments | comment on this)
secrethoughts
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2:08p
Proper update
So...I bought it. I ended up spending more than I intended because I decided to spring for a 3 year warranty too, which I never do, but I thought I should given how much the treadmill cost...so yeah.
I got this one: http://www.nordictrack.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product2_12401_10301_48501_-1_19051
Woo woo!!! I can't wait. I figure I will be able to workout with the baby in the same room, or if I'm feeling ambitious, I can walk on it with her in the sling or in the Baby Bjorn if she's being fussy and insists on being held. Either way, I know I'll be able to use it. Initially, I want to use it for 2 miles a day, 5 days a week, and I want to work up from there to maybe an hour walk some days, a run on others, that sort of thing. Yay! I'm beyond thrilled. I WILL get back into my old clothes. It will happen.
I haven't weighed myself yet post baby, but I'm definitely shrinking. I think I'm going to wait for my six week check up for a weigh in. I want to be gentle on myself for the first bit before I go crazy....just to give myself a chance to recover, lose some of the weight naturally, and establish my milk supply.
It's been hard to eat healthy because we've got the new baby and because we've been moving in to our new house. Tons of people have been over, and they've all been bringing over food, horrible food. The worst offender in the food department has been my MIL. No kidding...she's brought over at least five containers of muffins (the kind that have like 500 cals each, 80% from fat), numerous containers of cookies and chips, foot long subs laden with cheese, meat, and mayo....all on white bread, cinnamon twists, croisannts, brownies, loaves of fancy breads, all sorts of horrible things! Basically she comes in carrying my worst nightmare everytime she walks through my door. I've been throwing them away on the sly. So far, I haven't eaten any, except some of the subs. I mean seriously, who would bring that kind of food to a woman who just had a kid who obviously wants to lose weight??? I finally told her we were trying to reduce our carbs, so today she didn't bring anything.
Ugh. I felt evil. I know she's just trying to be nice, but I'm trying to lose weight, not gain it. Hell, I didn't even eat like that when I was pregnant!
Our house is really coming together! It looks super nice, and I'm starting to get excited. It's already so much better than our old place. All our stuff is all spread out instead of being all cramped, and everything looks so much better. Obviously having a second bedroom is key for Jilly....her room is completely adorable by the way. I may post some pics in a protected post soon.
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(comment on this)
feelslikefire
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7:12p
Feelings.....
Sometimes I think I might agree to things in therapy, but forget to quantify how much I agree and whether it is a problem or not. Last time I said I felt a bad person - and I do - but not a dreadfully bad person, I dont think its distressing the way I feel about how 'bad' I am. So - I spent a couple of days working out the strong feelings I have about myself which I find distressing - so I can let myself and my therapist know. I am always concerned I am making my disorder out to be more severe than it is, and I think its an easy thing to do when the whole process revolves around the ED. Anyhow....
What I feel about myself:
GREEDY *
FAT *
WASTEFUL
ALONE
NO CONTROL *
Not clean
Ugly
Different
What I would like to feel like:
THIN *
LOVED
IN CONTROL *
Attractive
These are in order with the first being the strongest, and the ones in capitals are the most pronounced and consistent. The ones with * next to them are the ones which could theoretically change / be achievable. Theoretically.
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(comment on this)
thinandhealthy
[ secrethoughts ]
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1:23p
Yay!
I bought a treadmill!! I'm obviously super excited because my treadmill is the cornerstone of my post-baby weight loss plan. Where I live, the weather is cold and unhospitable, and I figure it will be hard to get to the gym with the baby....so....enter treadmill. It gets delivered on Tuesday, and I'm very psyched! It has all these pre-programed workouts; I'll be sure to post them and let everyone know how it's going/working..
current mood:  excited
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(5 comments | comment on this)
feelslikefire
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2:58p
62.5, 25.
Going ok so far today. Feeling really stupid about the last 2 days though. I am such a dumbass. It seriously has to be (for the millionth time) NO BINGES OR PURGES.
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(2 comments | comment on this) Saturday, November 29th, 2008
feelslikefire
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8:15p
62.8
Well - up until yesterday this had been a pretty good week. Mainly liquids but no b/p. I have messed up yesterday and today though and b/p a fair few times.
My homework from therapy was to try and work out whether I am doing this to punish myself. I have been thinking about it all week, racking my brain trying to work out why I do this and I am not sure I have come up with the answer. I have worked out a couple of things though, for what it is worth. I dont think I do this because I am hungry - something happens in my brain that makes me do this - I can b/p regardless of whether I have eaten nothing or everything earlier on in the day. There is a switch in my head, and when it goes off, there is nothing I can do to stop it - I have to b/p - the need is so strong I cant even begin to convey what it feels like. I have also realised that although I often b/p when things are going badly, I definitely b/p on occasion to 'reward myself' - because nothing else comes close to the way b/p can sometimes make me feel - albeit often I just get dragged into the cycle and feel nothing but disgust towards myself and hate every second of it; sometimes there is that feeling - which takes everything away, the usual persistant thoughts dont matter, every negative thought disappears - and I can briefly feel on top of the world and in control.
So I suppose I do this to make myself feel good, whether it starts because I feel so bad to begin with and want to feel better, if I want the thinking to stop, or I feel I need to reward myself.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
(comment on this) Friday, November 28th, 2008
secrethoughts
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11:53a
Thanksgiving already?
Things are going pretty well. Slowly but surely, I think I'm getting the hang of this whole "mom of a newborn" thing, although it still blows my mind that I have a baby. And a house. Seriously, how do these things happen?
Jilly is adorable. She is still so small, but she already has a lot of personality. She makes lots of faces and cute baby noises and does cute baby things. I'm starting to get used to not sleeping. I won't lie. I miss sleep.
The house is looking really good! We're like 90% moved in or so. We're lucky in that we've had lots of help from D's family as far as moving in and stuff. It's kind of tough because we haven't had a second of free time (which means no naps for yours truly), but the help has been awesome.
Physically, I'm feeling pretty much recovered now, which is obvioulsy good. The one thing that sucks is that my neck has been going out a lot because I haven't been getting my exercise...and because I've been keeping my neck in a fixed position with all the nursing, which seems to be pretty much all I do these days.
I can't believe it's the end of November already!
I think I have enough room and enough money to buy a treadmill for the living room. I....can't....wait! The weight will come off if I walk! I can't wait.
I did pretty well at Thanksgiving. Only one piece of pumpkin pie. No booze. Modest helpings of everything. I went a little overboard on the stuffing, but...most of everything else I ate was veggie-based or white turkey, so whatever.
I have been doing my part to stimulate the economy. I bought a new winter coat, some gloves, and a scarf....and I bought D the best present EVER too! And of course there's the treadmill....so yay.
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(4 comments | comment on this) Wednesday, November 26th, 2008
sleepwakesleep
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11:35p
It's a little annoying that I wanted to bullet point but for some reason my formatting isn't recognised. It's a littel disturbing that the 'cutmeintopieces' group appears five times in the Most Popular category of Blurty. I'm sure that's a mistake. But man my heart breaks for people sometimes.
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(comment on this)
feelslikefire
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5:33a
63.2
I am doing very well these last couple of days - liquid only is suiting me very well. I also joined the gym and went yesterday morning and am going again today. It cost just over £400 to join for a year - and all this will be waste if I carry on being bulimic - so no more b/p - EVER.
Gotta lose the weight.
59kg by xmas.
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(3 comments | comment on this) Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
thinandhealthy
[ 1cigarrette ]
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11:29a
well.. i have my first appointment for therapy on saturday... im extremely unsure how that's going to go...
specially since i wanted it to be a male, and its a female... but they say she's good... must be... at aprox 70usd x session.. eek... is that normal?
anyways... what i wanted to ask is for some tips and motivation or something
what to ask, say, not say... whatever...
plz?!
thanx
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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