| confession #38 |
[18 May 2008|04:38pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Kelsey by Metro Station |
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Spent the night at Matt's again.
Was good, as per usual. I however had a momentary very weird mood change.
I don't know why, I don't know what I was feeling, but suddenly I was so confused.
I came close to crying twice during that little lapse in normalcy.
It's like I've said before, it's as if at times, someone else is living my life and then I get thrown into it and they watch me squirm and suffer, seeing as I don't know what's going on.
I'm alive right? I make choices, I do things, I think, therefore shouldn't I know what's going on in my own life? Shouldn't I know how I feel about things?
"I don't know", should never be an answer, but it always is.
I let Andrew know that I'm not interested in dating him. He's just very immature, we have little to nothing in common, he isn't open to different kinds of people, and he lied to sound "cool" (I can only assume that was the reason). I'm dreading any response from him, but my fault no?
I think I'm going to cut my hair... Myself... Because my hairdresser is booked from now till the end of time. Something short perhaps.
I also think I'm going to call Adrenaline to make an appointment to get my tattoo touched up and to get a new one, and to book an appointment for Mom to get hers. If I don't do it she never will, even though she wants one. I've designed a handful for her and she's picked one that she really loves, now all I have to do is get my ass in gear for my design and cross my fingers.
I doubly also think that I'll google for a place to do some volunteer work. Screw getting another job, I'd have to quit shortly after starting anyways, and go through the whole application/interview process. Just the thought of it is giving me a headache.
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