03:26am 17/08/2007
  BC was freaking fabulous. I'm too tired to write about it considering it's 4 am, but it was sososoo good.

In other news, Jane is hilarious:

jane says:
the last few nights
jane says:
ive been talking in my sleep
Bump my head against the windshield, trying to find the sun. says:
Bump my head against the windshield, trying to find the sun. says:
What have you said?
jane says:
well i dont knwo what i said 2 of the three nights
jane says:
but one of them peter and i were in the same room
jane says:
and i said "petri dish, look at all the places we can go"
jane says:
im going crazy!
Bump my head against the windshield, trying to find the sun. says:
I'm loling.
jane says:
and then apparantly i started spitting on my pillow

I got orange juice all over my white shirt because I spat it all out when I read about her spitting on her pillow.

Today was good because I watched the premiere of South Of Nowhere, which isn't super good or anything, but I'm totally addicted. The only thing I don't like about it is how they named the character who's supposed to be all rebel badass, Ashley. C'mon! Ashley is not a badass name. The other girl's name is Spencer though, which I totally love. And I totally love Spencer. I have the hugest "celebrity" crush on her. But yeah, the premiere was really exciting because we found out who died in the shooting. It was Clay, which frankly, doesn't upset me too much because that character was boring as hell. Except it's sad because his girlfriend is still pregnant with his baby. Oooooh the drama. Aaaah and the major thing, Ashley chose Spencer but Spencer rejected her because Ashley is all confused and she took three months to figure out that Spencer was the one that she wanted. And Spence was totally right to reject her because what does Ashley do that very same night?! She freaking sleeps with Aiden, who has a new hairdo and it looks like a small black animal died on his head, and his stupid motorcycle is bugging the crap out of me. He needs to crash that thing and Ashley needs to grow up so she and Spencer can be together happily ever after.

And yeah. My rant about SON is over now. Nobody will listen to me rant because they all think the show is lame. So I'm doing it here.
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02:30pm 11/07/2007
music: Greyhound Bus - The Moldy Peaches (how appropriate)

I leave in approximately an hour. Soooo excited I could piss myself. I have a big huge backpack with a peace sign patch on it. I look like a fer real backpacker. Heather and I are going to be so sick of each other by the end of this, holy crap. We'll be like siblings. Love/hate thing. I'm so glad she's coming with me though. She's a super fun person, and if I had to chose one person to go with she'd be it probably.

Now the bad news, Honest Ed died this morning. All the Toronto icons are dying this summer. Sam The Record Man's store is a goner, and now Honest Ed. At least the store will still be open. RIP Ed. You have a truly successful life.

Other bad news: I fell over in the shower and smacked my wrist against the side of the tub. It kills right now. I also pulled down the shower curtains and I have no idea how to put them back up, so I'll let my parentals deal with that.

HAVE A GOOD SUMMER NICO AND JENNI AND JELLY! Since you three are my only blurty pals.
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01:25pm 28/06/2007
music: Au Revoir Simone
Richard Siken

Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake
and dress them in warm clothes again.
How it was late, and no one could sleep, the horses running
until they forget that they are horses.
It's not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere,
it's more like a song on a policeman's radio,
how we rolled up the carpet so we could dance, and the days
were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple
to slice into pieces.
Look at the light through the windowpane. That means it's noon, that means
we're inconsolable.
Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.
These, our bodies, possessed by light.
Tell me we'll never get used to it.
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10:56am 12/05/2007
  here's to opening and upward, to leaf and to sap
and to your(in my arms flowering so new)
self whose eyes smell of the sound of rain

and here's to silent certainly mountains;and to
a disappearing poet of always,snow
and to morning;and to morning's beautiful friend
twilight(and a first dream called ocean)and

let must or if be damned with whomever's afraid
down with ought with because with every brain
which thinks it thinks,nor dares to feel(but up
with joy;and up with laughing and drunkenness)

here's to one undiscoverable guess
of whose mad skill each world of blood is made
(whose fatal songs are moving in the moon

-e.e cummings
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06:49pm 17/04/2007
  Saying Your Names
Richard Siken

Chemical names, bird names, names of fire
and flight and snow, baby names, paint names,
delicate names like bones in the body,
Rumplestiltskin names that are always changing,
names that no one's ever able to figure out.
Names of spells and names of hexes, names
cursed quietly under the breath, or called out
loudly to fill the yard, calling you inside again,
calling you home. Nicknames and pet names
and baroque French monikers, written in
shorthand, written in longhand, scrawled
illegibly in brown ink on the backs of yellowing
photographs, or embossed on envelopes lined
with gold. Names called out across the water,
names I called you behind your back,
sour and delicious, secret and unrepeatable,
the names of flowers that open only once,
shouted from balconies, shouted from rooftops,
or muffled by pillows, or whispered in sleep,
or caught in the throat like a lump of meat.
I try, I do. I try and try. A happy ending?
Sure enough—Hello darling, welcome home.
I'll call you darling, hold you tight. We are
not traitors but the lights go out. It's dark.
Sweetheart, is that you? There are no tears,
no pictures of him squarely. A seaside framed
in glass, and boats, those little boats with
sails aflutter, shining lights upon the water,
lights that splinter when they hit the pier.
His voice on tape, his name on the envelope,
the soft sound of a body falling off a bridge
behind you, the body hardly even makes
a sound. The waters of the dead, a clear road,
every lover in the form of stars, the road
blocked. All night I stretched my arms across
him, rivers of blood, the dark woods, singing
with all my skin and bone Please keep him safe.
Let him lay his head on my chest and we will be
like sailors, swimming in the sound of it, dashed
to pieces. Makes a cathedral, him pressing against
me, his lips at my neck, and yes, I do believe
his mouth his heaven, his kisses falling over me
like stars. Names of heat and names of light,
names of collision in the dark, on the side of the
bus, in the bark of the tree, in ballpoint pen
on jeans and hands and the backs of matchbooks
that then get lost. Names like pain cries, names
like tombstones, names forgotten and reinvented,
names forbidden or overused. Your name like
a song I sing to myself, your name like a box
where I keep my love, your name like a nest
in the tree of love, your name like a boat in the
sea of love—O now we're in the sea of love!
Your name like detergent in the washing machine.
Your name like two X's like punched-in eyes,
like a drunk cartoon passed out in the gutter,
your name with two X's to mark the spots,
to hold the place, to keep the treasure from
becoming ever lost. I'm saying your name
in the grocery store, I'm saying your name on
the bridge at dawn. Your name like an animal
covered with frost, your name like a music that's
been transposed, a suit of fur, a coat of mud,
a kick in the pants, a lungful of glass, the sails
in wind and the slap of waves on the hull
of a boat that's sinking to the sound of mermaids
singing songs of love, and the tug of a simple
profound sadness when it sounds so far away.
Here is a map with your name for a capital,
here is an arrow to prove a point: we laugh
and it pits the world against us, we laugh,
and we've got nothing left to lose, and our hearts
turn red, and the river rises like a barn on fire.
I came to tell you, we'll swim in the water, we'll
swim like something sparkling underneath
the waves. Our bodies shivering, and the sound
of our breathing, and the shore so far away.
I'll use my body like a ladder, climbing
to the thing behind it, saying farewell to flesh,
farewell to everything caught underfoot
and flattened. Names of poisons, names of
handguns, names of places we've been
together, names of people we'd be together.
Names of endurance, names of devotion,
street names and place names and all the names
of our dark heaven crackling in their pan.
It's a bed of straw, darling. It sure as shit is.
If there was one thing I could save from the fire,
he said, the broken arms of the sycamore,
the eucalyptus still trying to climb out of the yard—
your breath on my neck like a music that holds
my hands down, kisses as they burn their way
along my spine—or rain, our bodies wet,
clothes clinging arm to elbow, clothes clinging
nipple to groin—I'll be right here. I'm waiting.
Say hallelujah, say goodnight, say it over
the canned music and your feet won't stumble,
his face getting larger, the rest blurring
on every side. And angels, about twelve angels,
angels knocking on your head right now, hello,
hello, a flash in the sky, would you like to
meet him there, in Heaven? Imagine a room,
a sudden glow. Here is my hand, my heart,
my throat, my wrist. Here are the illuminated
cities at the center of me, and here is the center
of me, which is a lake, which is a well that we
can drink from, but I can't go through with it.
I just don't want to die anymore.
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12:24am 06/04/2007
  I need to get organized with all these shows coming up:

(buy tickets online perhaps, or go to Rotate This if I go downtown this weekend. Last resort is tickets at the door)

(Go with Nico some day after school. Nico when are we gonna doo this. We're so bad at organizing)

(Try and force Heather to come to this. Two shows in two days. Sweeeet)

(Once again, try and force someone to come with me. Nobody ever wants to come to punk-ish shows:( )

(GET TICKETS soon. This will probably sell out eventually.)

(Yaay two mod club shows in three days. Organize with Jenni when the day gets closer)

(Should be fun, but I don't desperately want to go.)

So those are the Rotate This shows. Now the ska shows, which are much easier cause people usually will be up for coming with me, and I don't usually need tickets ahead of time.

Date: 2007-04-20
Bands: The Big Man Himself
Venue: Opera House - Toronto, ON
Doors: 7pm, $8, all ages
(Being dragged to this by Rachel so she can stare at Dork Crush 2 who plays in this band)

Date: 2007-04-26
Bands: The Slackers, The Phenomenauts, The Expos
Venue: Mod Club - Toronto, ON
Doors: 6pm, $16.50 adv, all ages
(Should be fantastic. Definitely get tickets.)

Date: 2007-05-25
Bands: The Johnstones, Keepin' 6, One Night Band, Stop Drop n' Skank
Venue: Kathedral - Toronto, ON
Doors: 7pm, $10 adv, $12 doors, all ages
(Once again, fantastic. Get tickets. Nico might want to come to this one. How bout it Nico?)
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11:40am 16/03/2007
  Sooo it's my birthday. This was posted in the quotey community and it seemed kind of appropriate on my birthday so I'll post it here and then get down to my usual "this is what I did yesterday and it was great fun" kind of post.

Don't squander the gold of your days, listening to the tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure, or giving away your life to the ignorant, the common, and the vulgar. These are the sickly aims, the false ideals, of our age. Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing... A new Hedonism--that is what our century wants. You might be its visible symbol. With your personality there is nothing you could not do. The world belongs to you for a season... The moment I met you I saw that you were quite unconscious of what you really are, of what you really might be. There was so much in you that charmed me that I felt I must tell you something about yourself. I thought how tragic it would be if you were wasted. For there is such little time that your youth will last--such a little time. The common hill-flowers wither, but they blossom again. The laburnum will be as yellow next June as it is now. In a month there will be purple stars on the clematis, and year after year the green night of its leaves will hold its purple stars. But we never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the courage to yield to.

-Oscar Wilde

So yesterday. My last few hours before my birthday were superfab. At nine I met Heather at work and we departed for the Kathedral to see King Kong Girio and The Cheap Suits and some other good ska bands who I'd never seen live. We were going to be arriving late so we were hoping it wouldn't be over. We got there at about 10:30 and there was still two bands left, Staylefish (who despite their name, are really good) and the Cheap Suits, who I hadn't seen since August at the last Makeshift Heroes show. We didn't dance for Staylefish but we watched the other people dance and laughed at this guy who was incredibly intoxicated and was yelling "one mo' song!" over and over. Camomile or Rude Boy weren't there, but some people from Brass in the Grass were, as well as two boys with matching hats, and the guy who wiggles more than skanks who was at the Pragmatics show, and a bunch of other people. Staylefish need a new name, but their music is real good. One of their singers had such beautiful dreads.

So after Staylefish the Cheap Suits played. They're just fun, and poppy and good to dance to. They play this amazing medley type thing, with a bunch of popular songs all mashed together into one ultra-song. They also played Ska Saves and Two-Tone Town which make me incredibly happy and reminded me of how I felt at the last Makeshift Show, which was a very bittersweet feeling, but it was one of the best shows ever.

Me and Heather left at about 11:30 cause we were both tired. We walked along Queen, near Bathurst, which is where all the homeless people live and you're pretty much guaranteed that one of them is going to talk to you if you're walking there at night. Someone talked to us but it wasn't a crazy person. It was this man who said he was here from Florida filming a movie. He said we looked like we partied and he was wondering where a good club or bar was. We told him we didn't know, because we don't really party at all. Then he asked us if we had ever been extras in a movie, and if we'd want to. We told him no, we didn't think so and he said he was just asking cause we looked pretty funky. So then after we were done talking to the movie star we kept walking along to our destination: our favourite Subway. We got our food and sat there until 12, so I can always remember that it became my birthday in my favourite Subway.

On the streetcar ride home we were sitting in front of the twins Laura and Sophie. They were talking like the little hipsters they wish they were (except mostly just Laura). They killed Semi Charmed Life for me. Sooo then we walked down my street and pulled out the bed in the basement and slept there until I awoke on this glorious morning, ready to celebrate my birthday even though Jane is sick and everything's a jumble.
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12:20pm 10/02/2007
  Great show = long post.

So now I know it's a bad idea to go to Swiss Chalet and stuff my face before going to a show where I know I'm going to be dancing my (little cold black) heart out. But it was fun anyways. We all met up at Swiss and pretty much ordered everything on the menu. I bought Jane her meal for her birthday and we shared perogies, garlic cheese loaf (mmmmmmmm loaf), fries and Jane also got chicken spring rolls but I didn't because there's chicken in them. Kara and Siobhan shared 4 appetizers and an entree between the two of them. Patrick only got perogies, even after I told him it would be okay for him to get lots of food cause we were all going to be binging. We all got Shirley Temples, except Laura cause she doesn't like any of the BB(Z) official foods or drinks. Patrick knew Anna-Bianca, who was one of our waiters, and so did we a little bit, so she gave us one of the toys that come with the kid's meals even though we didn't get a kid's meal. Then we went to Shopper's and bought icebreakers and energy drinks, and Siobhan knew the girl who worked at the cash from soccer and she kept laughing at us cause we were going on about how good icebreakers are and how they're like crack.

So we took the subway to Broadview. Me and Melissa spent the whole time sending brainwaves to people but they hardly ever got them. We stared at Jane for honestly 15 minutes and we even started whispering her name and she didn't even get the brainwaves. By this time the icebreakers and energy drinks started kicking in and we were being very loud and obnoxious, which I hate doing on the subway, but sometimes you just can't help it. Then we took the streetcar down to Queen, and we were sitting behind Moose and Cammy and two girls. They were like "yoo Patrick are you here with all these girls?" and he was like "yep" and they called him a pimp and we laughed a lot and they said "duude those girls are so wasted", because everyone always thinks we are even if we're not.

When we got to Queen we went and stood in line, and Kara left because it was quite obvious that she wasn't going to get in cause she didn't have a ticket ahead of time. I bought my ticket about a month ago, and it had been in my coat pocket for the whole time so it had broken into three pieces but they let me in anyways. I hate how they body search you and go through your bags at the Opera House.

By the time we got in The Expos had already started, and I had never seen them before, even though I listen to them a lot. I danced for the last three songs or so. I really need to see them again sometime, when they're one of the headliners because I love them alot, and when they're headlining Camomile will probably be there. So then we moved up to the front cause the Johnstones were coming on next. We were talking about the heavy lesbian undertones of Briztol Bored(z) and other funny stuff. So the Johnstones started, and even though I love them it was probably one of the least fun times I've had when they were playing. I don't know. I think maybe they peaked for me at the cd release in September cause that show was so amazing and the past couple times I've seen them play it hasn't been as great. It was still fun when they played Gettin' Paid and Action and King Of Spain. I was standing beside a boy and we always started and stopped skanking at the exact same time and we'd look at each other like "woah are you reading my mind" and smiling at each other, so that was nice. Rene did "suck it", and they say Rita McNeil in one of their songs, so I think they're like our soul mates even though they're dirtbags.

The Flatliners were next, and I do love them, but I wanted to go see how Jane was doing and I was really tired and all my food was getting jumbled up in my stomach so I went up to the balcony place and just watched them. I like being up there cause you can see everyone and the pit looks really cool from up there. Crowd surfers kept getting pushed up onto the stage into the singer's mic stand and knocking it over. One boy got onto the stage and then he jumped back off, but he did like an actual dive with his hands out and stuff and nobody caught him so I was looking to make sure he got up, cause it looked like he was going to break his neck or something, but he just popped up like "yaaa!" so it was fine. Whenever anyone does the jump off the stage thing it reminds me of the time someone jumped off the stage with their hand out and one finger pointed and the finger ended up in my mouth. It was the most awkward feeling ever, and they scratched the inside of my cheek with their nail, but I like it cause it's a funny story to tell.

Sometime during the Flatliners Jane, Mel and Sio left because they weren't in a show mood and Jane doesn't even like shows that much and they wanted to just talk so they went back to Siobhan's house. I was worried they were mad or something, but they weren't. I didn't have time to worry too much though because the Planet Smashers were going to come on soon. Me, Patrick, Laura and Heather all went down and stood close to the stage and did a lot of group hugs and kisses cause sometimes you're just in the group hug mood, and shows always make me in that kind of mood. So then the P-Smashers started to play, and it was really great cause I haven't seen them since May and that was Heather's first show and the beginning of my large obsession with ska so it felt like some sort of reunion or anniversary or something. They're so much fun. They played Life of the Party and Surfing In Tofino (they did the "everyone sit down and wave your arms like an ocean and on the count of ten jump up and go crazy" thing again but this time I sat on my knees and so I was a little bit above everyone and I just looked back at everyone's faces and everyone looked so happy so that made me happy), and J'aime Ta Femme, Pee in the Elevator, and everythingggg. For the encore they played Too Much Attitude, Super Orgy Porno Party and Skate or Die. I don't even understand how they can make me so happy, but it's good so I don't even need to understand.

So then we took the streetcar back to Siobhan's and talked about something, but I don't remember what cause I was deliriously tired and thirsty at this point. Then we got to Siobhan's and I took off my pants and went in my sleeping bag, which is really comfy. No pants and a sleeping bag. And we talked deliriously some more like we always do when we sleep at people's houses, but Patrick isn't used to it yet and he was like "okaaaay". Then I fell asleep and had a dream that a bunch of people were playing water volleyball, and I had a plane that lands on water and I was flying around and I was yelling at them through a loudspeaker. I was telling them they had better move cause I had to land my plane but they didn't wanna stop playing volleyball, but then I got woken up by the alarm we set for Heather so she would wake up on time to go to work. I woke up in the middle of the night and I heard Patrick snoring really really loudly, but snoring doesn't annoy me. All I can think about when I hear someone snoring is like "good, they're alive and breathing" cause I'm paranoid sometimes.

So then I woke up and went to Tatsu's and got a cinnamon danish and a coffee and walnut bread and two baguettes and came home and now I'm here and there's another show tonight but I don't think I'm going to go because I have to babysit.

Wooo, the end. I said "and then" way too much in this entry.
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10:36am 03/02/2007
  Note to self:

Remember that people read your freaking lj! Do not post about things people say about other people behind their backs, especially when that person reads your lj regularly, and will probably get mad at you too, even if you did nothing except listen.
     Read 1 - Post
05:00pm 01/02/2007
  Tonight is toboozin' with Patrick and his friends. Toboozin' means getting together, getting drunk and going tobogganing (I just realized how freaking weird that word is). Of course I'm not going to be getting drunk because that's not what I do...but other people are going to be. Just tobogganing is thrilling enough for me, who needs to be drunk? I don't think I've ever heard anything more Canadian than toboozin' though. Beer, and wet snow bums. Afterwards we're going to Heather's to sleep and maybe I can convince everyone that we should watch Passport To Paris since I haven't seen it in forever, and a sleepover at Heather's almost automatically means Passport To Paris.

Then it's Mandi. I need to start my pre-Mandi fast. No breakfast for me. 8 plates of buffet Chinese food. Oh and those coconut desert things I love even though nobody else does.

Saturday there's going to be a big snowball fight at Trinity-Bellwoods in the bowl. It's organized by newmindspace, the same people who organize those huge pillow fights and stuff. They have a snow machine and stuff, so there's going to be good packing snow and it's gonna be amazing. Hopefully I can find someone to come with me. Everyone is working. I asked Nico and Jenni but I dunno if they can/want to. If I do end up going it will be a very snow filled few days.

I hope you all have good plans too.

I just downloaded the new Beirut EP. I was worried that it wouldn't be as good as Gulag Orkestar, which I loved to death, but it was damn good, even if it was only about 16 minutes in total. I like the full band version of Scenic World best, but it might just be cause it's familiar. I might start to like the other songs better after a while. I'm kind of glad NMH never released another album, cause I honestly can't think of anything better than ITAOTS and you know those bands that have an amazing album and then they keep going and they get worse and worse and everyone wonders what happened and why they didn't just stop when they were good. I can't say I can ever imagine Jeff being bad, but there's always a chance...I'm not saying if he released something new I wouldn't go crazy and probably love it.
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07:30am 23/01/2007
  I got one Nico. Just for you.:)

So anyways here's my first entry on this contraption:

For some reason I was in french class with Moisha and Duini gave us an assignment where we had to listen to Feist and then write a review for the album, and then I was walking in the stairs with Moisha cause I was looking for paper and she was probably escaping or something. But she was like "did you like that music?" and I was like "yeah, she has a good voice" and Moisha was like "hmmm you think?" and I was like "yeah it grows on you" and she was like "kinda like you did." It was the most exciting dream everrrrr.
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