||"boulevard of broken dreams" - green day
okay, after contemplating it again, i've decided to really leave this journal. hmm, that didn't take very long, did it? i mean, just one journal entry ago, i was all confused whether to really leave this or not, and a couple of minutes later, my mind's set. *sigh* okay, so here's the farewell.
for the past 2 years, this journal has seen...
my growing infatuation with jun
i remember when i first got into pierrot, late 2002. this journal saw it all. and then when i gradually fell madly in love with jun - man, the good memories. almost every single one of the entries in here mentions his name. i won't forget the ramblings, from about his hair, his outfit, his smile, the concert appearances and yes, who could forget the countless pictures of him that i've posted in here? this journal really records my lust for him, through all those years.
that ex-neighbour of mine
i think the very first entry about him was when i said in this journal how i just realised that he was living right next to my apartment building. yep, that must be the first entry. and ever since then, i couldn't stop mentioning about him (alongside with my non-stop rambling about jun). even when i found out he's got a girlfriend, i still couldn't bring myself to stop talking about him. that's bad, huh? but this journal saw all that. i remember those times when i would see him in the city/in my area and i would get all impatient to write all about the encounter right here. and then, the nicknames that i gave him that i recorded precisely in this journal: the armadale bishonen, the jun-look-a-like, etc. maybe with my leaving this journal, i could also finally leave my obsession with him? i'll keep you posted on that in my new journal.
my glay days
yes, who could forget the first-ever j-rock band that truly hooked me to the whole - erm - j-rock world? i suppose my obsession with them started in middle 2002, so i wouldn't exactly record my feelings about them here. but i think around early 2003, i was still quite into them and i wrote a few stuff about them here, and also posted a few delicious pictures of them. and then there was my infatuation with jiro. i think i posted a picture of him taken from his 30th birthday, where he was holding a star-wars lightsabre. *lol* anyway, this journal recorded all those glay-related things.
me getting to know myself better?
i think, while writing in this journal, i've grown up a bit. i've started to see the difficulties in life. those depressing days really didn't happen for nothing. i remember those horrible days in singapore when i first had a taste of being away from my comfort zone; the first gruelling weeks of uni and how i had to cope with the unfamiliar and new surroundings; the past couple of weeks of being lonely and how i miss the company of my close friends. i think with all those bad days, i got to know myself better - i got to know what i want and what i don't want. i think for the next few years, the days won't be easy, but what i've written in this journal about those hard times will clue me in on how to cope with the future challenges. bless.
my non-stop fashion rambling
not gonna say a lot on that, but i said a lot about clothes, shopping and all that in here. but i think after all that, i still don't know what my style is. -_-
the past journal entries have seen me meeting some of the greatest friends i've ever met. some turned out to be not so great, of course, but my encounters with those people really helped me learn a lot about things. and yes - this journal saw all that. everything.
so thanks for the past 2 years of recording the wonderful and bitter memories. without you i'm nothing. no, that really is true. adios, and i'll see you in my new journal.