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cape cod does not bring out the best in me. it sucks and i'm glad i'm going home tomorrow. i didn't even want to go in the first place. i hate that i get so upset and paranoid about so many things. it just makes everything so much more stressful. i worry too much and i always have so many expectations so im always disappointed....but i can't just give up on hope and expectations so it keeps happening. im so hateful towards a lot of things and i must admit, it gets tiring. i really need to start counseling again. it even stresses me out that school will be starting in a little more than a month. being stuck in one room with my parents drives me crazy because i need my own space away from them. i think they finally understand that im just not into these trips anymore. we have different ideas of fun and vacation, usually. it seems that i always have something to be upset about. why can't i just not care about anything? what is wrong with me? it sucks being somewhere you don't want to be with people who want to do touristy things. i don't mind going places, but i want to do what i want to do when i get there. i don't know.... tomorrow can't come soon enough. |
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frustrated.