like the sunshine's Blurty

Subject:	time keeps on slipping, slipping...
Time:	2:17 pm.
Mood:	weird.

i had a dream that everyone from our graduating class had to go back to the high school for something. i was ecstatic.
i also had a dream that i had all these cell phones and one was paris hilton's and she called it and i answered and we started talking about lots of things. it was really weird. anyway...
i've been inspired to start exercising more. i'm actually excited about it.
i've started one of my papers...now i just need to keep working on it. blahh. 15 days until my last day. only one more week of class. i've started packing things to take home. that's kind of exciting.
i hate the wind.
sewing class on saturday! i hope it's not terribly difficult or confusing....or boring. i also hope it's not a bunch of old ladies.
tomorrow is already may. wasn't it just february like, a week ago. time goes by too fast and that scares me. i'm not taking advantage of it and before i know it, half the year is almost gone.
i need summer.

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Subject:	frankly, my dear, i don't give a damn.
Time:	9:51 pm.
Mood:	frustrated.

i am ready to quit.

i am questioning my desire to be a writer. i really can't deal with deadlines and if i have this as my career i just might be miserable from the stress. i'm not really sure how stressful writing for magazines is though. i hate that i don't know much about any kind of industries. all i know is that deadlines stress me out because i procrastinate, especially if i don't know what i'm writing about or how to go about things. i don't know....i love writing, but not when it stresses me out to the point of tears and anger.
i could teach...but that would mean that everyone won. my dad thinks i should get a teaching degree. i wouldn't want to make lesson plans and grade things anyway. i'd be the worst teacher ever...though the kids woud probably love me.
i wish it wasn't so hard to get into the film or music industry. i would love to just be an actress or musician or voiceover actress or foley artist. i mean, how hard is it to make sound effects like footsteps and whatnot?
my plan B has always been cosmetology. being a hairdresser is something i've always thought about. i'm sure they don't make much though. i bet they have really pruney fingers by the end of the day. lol.
i wish i knew what makes a good photograph. i would be a photographer. not some artsy one...but a wedding one or something. i should be a wedding planner! i love planning things. maybe a seamstress?..lol.
i also wish it wasn't hard to get into the fashion industry. it'd be cool if i could just design dresses and whatnot for a living. how does that happen for people? i don't know where to go or how to start for any of these things. ugh.
theres always stripping.....just kidding.
graphic design would be cool, but i'm no computer wiz. i did really enjoy my graphics class in high school though. photoshop and adobe were fun to work with. i guess that's another option.
why are all my dream jobs difficult to achieve?
maybe i don't know what i want anymore. i'm only 18, and yet, oh jeez, i'm 18!
can i just be a housewife? what happened to oppressing women? why did women want careers anyway?

list of somewhat realistic job choices:
magazine journalist
wedding planner
hairdresser
teacher
photographer...?
graphic designer
seamstress

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